Author's Note: After having GUILTY PLEASURE taken down by the lovely people who run this site, I don't have that much to say anymore. Well not right now, at least. I just hope you all enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoy writing it. Reviews are my favourite thing on this site. Just to let you know. ;)

Disclaimer: Nothing, but the plot of this story belongs to me. All characters and such, are owned by JKR.

Word Count: 1,697. (I personally find this useless information, but it looks quite cool, so what the hell.)

Warnings: Bad Language, Innuendoes, Slytherin Sex God Malfoy and all that implies - figure it out?

Chapter: (1) A Bet's A Bet.

- Insert shameless review begging here. -

Yours truly,
- LiveLoveLaugh.

"What the fuck."

Blaise was horrified. No, really, he was mortified.

The poor Italian was just making his way to the Slytherin changing rooms; day-dreaming of the restful night to follow, on his way there. He deserved a break after those long, agonising hours of brutal Quiditch practise, did he not?

And if it wasn't for the puke-worthy scene infront of him,he would have been fast asleep in his bed by now, dreaming of that fit girl he'd noticed infront of Madame Pomfreys. Damn, he wouldn't mind giving her a ride on his broo- ahem.

So this scene, even though he'd seen similar ones involving the notorious Malfoy; reminded him why he always takes the long way to the Changing Rooms.

In front of his almost bleeding eyes, his bestmate Draconis Malfoy all but shagged a blonde bimbo up against a wall. The bleached bird with the huge - let's say bazoongas, for your sake, - pressed up against Malfoy's chest looked to be devouring his mouth...and other places.

Trying not to gag first, the young Zabini threw a pebble at them. It hit the whore under her eye, causing Blaise to fist pump the air. It seperated them, as she tore away from Malfoy, rubbing her cheek.

And then they were glaring at him, throwing curses and owie noises - on behalf of the girl. Malfoy sneered at his roommate. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Zabini? Can't you go wank off somewhere else?"

"Well I would, wouldn't I - if I could get through the fucking halls without having to see you two blondes screw eachother."

Draco was about to retort when the girl next to him squeeled. "You hurt my eye! Draco! Do something!" Blaise noticed her crest. Slytherin. Typical.

"I didn't even hit your eye," He rolled his very own eyes at her stupidity. "Now, please, just sod off before you make an even bigger whore of yourself."

And she scrambled away, picking up her tie and shoe before she did.

Malfoy was furious. "What the hell was that about?" He flailed his arms furiously. "I had her in the bag, Zabini. She was right there for my taking."

"Oh yeah? And what is her, name, Draco?"

"...Blonde Bimbo I nearly fucked?" He shrugged.

Blaise blinked at him before walking off in the direction of the Changing Rooms.

Malfoy fell into step next to him, his hands shoved into his pockets. "She has a hot sister, I could've hooked you up. But, you cocked that up, didn't you?"

"Malfoy, I don't care who you fuck, or where you fuck them-"

"-I bet you care about how." Malfoy smirked.

Blaise pretended he didn't hear that. "-just don't do it infront of me, alright? I'm not a fan of having my eyes bleed."

"What? You jealous of my skills?"

Blaise stopped, and turned to his companion, a smile on his lips. "You did not just go there."

The Malfoy gave him a lopsided grin. "Oh, but I did. You, Blaise Zabini, are jealous of the fact that I have inhumane seduction skills and you haven't been able to nail a girl in three months."

Blaise chuckled. "Merlin, Malfoy. You really are a piece of work, aren't you?"

"A piece of fit, sex on legs, you mean." They continued walking.

"That's not what I mean at all." He shuddered at the thought.

"Alright, alright. If you think I'm not good enough, if you think I'm not the Slytherin Sex God, then-"

"-Ah, no. You're the Sex God alright, - I'm not deaf, you know,- but you will, in no way, get a girl to really fall in love with you." Blaise opened the doors to their destination.

Draco was too proud to admit to anything. "Is that a challenge?" He peeled off his shirt, before buttoning on a clean one.

"Not yet, it's not." Blaise followed suit, knowing better than to challenge a Malfoy.

Besides, he needed to gather more research before delving into a challenge.

He wasn't a Gryffindor, for Merlin's sake.

"What the fuck."

Blaise had been unintentionally, accidently, collecting challenge research throughout the day.

After breakfast, Malfoy was at it with another ditzy in an abandoned classroom he just happened to walk past. And damn, were they at it. Like two starving, savage bears, for Merlin's sake. And then it was during potions that Blaise stumbled across Malfoy shagging a brunette - and brunettes' were meant to be smart, - in the Potions closet. What the hell, man?

And then ofcourse, it was before lights out when he walked into his room, only to find a moving heap on his bed. The moans and growls gave away their activity under the sheets. Under his sheets.

Blaise was furious. It was his bed. It's where he slept. He growled before muttering wandless spells under his breath. The duvet covering them was yanked back by thin air, and the naked girl under Malfoy leaped up, gathered her belongings and sprinted out of the room. Blaise threw Malfoy's trousers at his face before turning around and waiting, his hands fisted at his sides.

He stared at the door. "What the hell is wrong with you, Malfoy?"

There were sounds of materials being pulled and a zipper being zipped up. "What is wrong with me? What is wrong with you? This is the second time you've interrupted me getting some."

Blaise turned back around, his fingers rubbing his temples. "I'm not even going to ask why you found it necessary to get some in my bed."

"Well-" Malfoy smirked.

"-I didn't ask. But, seriously, Malfoy? You've had sex almost four times today." Blaise sighed before walking over to his bed and levitating the sheets up and out of the window.

"Almost being the key word there." Malfoy walked over to his bed, clad in his green silk pants.

"Twice. You've had sex twice, and were about to have it two more times if it weren't for me. You're welcome, Malfoy's dick." By now, Blaise was replacing his pillows and blankets with Theo's - who's bed was next to his.

"Did you just talk to my dick?" Malfoy almost chuckled as he laid in his bed. His own bed.

"Maybe." The Italian smiled to himself at their childishness. He lay in his bed, staring at the charmed - starry, - ceiling. "So Malfoy."

"Hmm, dick whisperer?"

Blaise bit the inside of his cheek. "All these girls you've fucked; have any of them actually fallen for you?"

"They do the falling before the sex." He said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"So basically - you've never gotten a girl to fall in love with you?"

"How is that the basically?"

"It's true."

"No, Zabini. They all fall in love with me."

"Slytherin Sex God you, or Draconis Malfoy you?"

"What's the difference?" He paused. "No wait, don't answer that. What are you, a bloody Hufflepuff? What's with the deep twenty questions?"

"I'm just curious. I'm pretty sure you will never be able to make any girl fall in love with you."

"But-"

"-For her to actually say the words, "I love you, Draco." Ha, as if that would happen."

"It could happen." He paused and sat up, his elbows supporting him. "It will happen."

"Any girl?" Blaise cracked an eye open, loving the way Malfoy just walked into his trap.

"Any." He scoffed.

"You wanna' bet?"

"Try me."

Blaise sat up, resting his arms on his knees smugly. "I'll tell you what; we'll make a bet. If, by the end of this school year, you can get any girl I choose to fall in love with you, - as in really fall in love with you - then I'll..."

"You'll what?"

"Depends on what you want. Galleons?"

"Too easy. I'll claim my reward soon enough."

Blaise hesitated. That sounded extremely dodgy, especially since it came from a Malfoy. He wasn't a Malfoy through and through just because of the hair. "Fine, it's not like you'll need to."

Draco smirked. "Don't be too sure about that. I never lose."

Blaise shrugged, a smile playing on his lips.

Draco flopped back down on his bed. "So, who's the bird?"

"That, my dear friend, is for me to decide and for you to find out."

And then he turned off the remaining lights, plunging them into darkness.

"Screw you." Malfoy muttered.

Blaise turned in his bed. He smirked. "You'd screw anything with a hole."

He'd got it.

He had found the girl, the girl he needed to win the bet without breaking a sweat. And she was right there, sitting on her usual seat, nibbling on the end of her quill as she probably finished some homework not even set yet.

So, obviously, when Malfoy walked into the Great Hall, Blaise was grinning like a little wizard boy in a Quiditch store.

Malfoy raised a questioning eyebrow when he sat beside him. "Are you high?"

Blaise sneaked a glance at the girl who would make his year. "You really want to know?"

Draco started filling his plate. "No."

"What if I told you that I found your new conquest?"

That had him looking up at the Italian. "Now I'm listening."

"Guess."

Draco looked up at the girls passing by, and the girls sitting down, all dressed in the robes of their houses. He clicked his tongue. "Blonde, hunched shoulders, Ravenclaw table." He suggested.

Blaise laughed after watching the girl suck the butter off her finger. "You should be so lucky."

"Red head, huge glasses, Slytherin?"

"Who?" Zabini followed the direction of his friend's eyes. There was a girl, laughing with her friends. "What? No. She's cute."

"Ah, crap. You've got a twisted, fat, butters girl in mind, don't you?"

"Actually, no. I'm not that harsh. I just have the most impossible, unapproachable, girl for this bet."

Draco gave him a suspicious glance. "Don't say it."

Blaise smirked evily.

"Zabini, I swear to Merlin, if you say it, I will literally rip-"

"-Hermione. Jean. Granger." Blaise enunciated, punctuating every word with a poke to Draco's chest. "That's right, Draco Malfoy. I bet you won't be able to get Goody-two-shoes Granger to fall in love with you by the end of this school year. Take that in your pumpkin juice and suck it."

Yeah, he had this bet in the bag.