Chasity Belt

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

Warnings: Some language and lots of characters acting abnormally. My apologies! ;D

Sakura threw what she hoped to be an assuring smile at the young man fidgeting across from her. He tried to nervously reciprocate her smile, but faltered as his eyes veered to the ominous presence next to her. As the rosette continued to plaster on her strained smile, she arrived at a conclusion.

She hated her life.

Granted, there was plenty she loved about her life; her multitude of close knit friends and her numerous accomplishments exemplifying such cherished aspects. She had finally grown into a fine young woman and a kick ass kunoichi. And yes, much to her own personal triumph, she had also grown into her charming forehead.

Still, she hated her life.

Watching her former date flee after squeaking out some lame excuse, Sakura also decided that she hated her teammates. Sure she would undoubtedly take a kunai in the heart for any one of them, but at the moment, she was rather inclined to beat each and every one of those fools bloody; her own agenda to protect them be damned.

Silence settled over the area after the finicky male's hasty departure. Sakura sat frozen in place as if on pause and hoping to resume where she left off. When it became apparent that she had been bailed on again, Sakura slumped from her upright posture as she released her mouth from the forced upward curve she had maintained.

"There goes another one," Sakura could only mourn, sighing heavily and breaking the long silence.

And after observing Mr. tall, dark and handsome himself smirk proudly at his accomplishment, Sakura finally had another epiphany. She absolutely hated Uchiha Itachi as well.

Haruno Sakura was an absolute knock-out; both in looks and on the battlefield. She was what Gai would call the embodiment of youth and what Jiraiya would seek as a muse. Not to toot her own horn, but Sakura really had it going on.

Yet every single time she found herself interested in a specimen of the male species, said specimen was chased off. Every time she managed to land a date, planned chaos would ensue until the possible suitor ran for the hills. And no matter what she did, Sakura just couldn't win.

Everybody and their dog seemed to be finding love; literally as both Kiba and Akamaru had found their respective soul mates. Even the shy Hyuuga heiress had managed to snag the boy of her dreams despite herself and her over bearing clan. Though, it probably helped that the boy of her dreams had been Naruto. As far as she was concerned, Naruto was pretty much capable of anything; even winning over the pompous clan head and elders.

So if even Hinata had a boyfriend, than why in the hell was Sakura still single?

It's simple really. You see, she had way too much baggage in the form of four extremely annoying, ridiculously powerful, and obtusely protective teammates who were strongly opposed to their only female teammate having a love life. In their eyes, she was a sweet little princess and they were her knights in shining armor that had to protect her from the scary monsters of the world. She wondered how many times one had to be dropped on the head to arrive at such an outlandish, delusional conclusion.

Understanding the severe case of stupidity they suffered from, Sakura had tried her best as a medic to cure their affliction. She had heatedly debated with the lot of them about her right to do as she pleased and even staged an intervention to shake off their pig-headed habits. When none of this had worked, she moved onto more controversial and extreme methods. Unfortunately, the shinobi had grown used to her earthshattering beat downs.

She'll admit that she thought their protectiveness had been cute at first. But then again, she had also thought Sasuke had been cute as well until he opened his mouth and revealed himself to be a major asshole. Seeing as she was without a boyfriend and nearing her twenties, she had ruled her team nowhere near cute. She finally saw what their so called chivalry really was; cock-blocking.

It didn't help matters that everyone in the gossipy village of Konoha seemed fixated on the matter. Shinobi and civilian alike whispered of her single status and the unusual closeness shared by Team 7. Some had gone as far as to speculate that she was secretly dating one of them. However the most popular and the craziest rumor of all was that she was dating all four of them. It was every other girl's most fond dream, but her own personal, worst nightmare.

But as it was, she was dating no one; especially not her own team. She had utterly no interest in them and they in turn only showed interest in guarding her virtue valiantly. Sadly enough, they were doing a damn good job on their end. At this rate; she would die an old virgin.

Among those on her guard detail was her sensei/ father figure, the copy-cat ninja himself. Kakashi usually warded off her potential suitors by bragging of her inhuman strength and all of the powerful men she had brought down. Personally she didn't mind the compliments. However she did mind it when he started babbling about her notoriously short temper and her lack of control. It didn't help that Sai loved to butt in with comments of her manly strength and well-crafted insults aimed at the man in question. That alone usually deterred any average prospects.

And if Kakashi wasn't enough, Sasuke was always lurking in the background ready to flash those demonic looking red eyes of his. Not to be outdone, Yamato always had a flash light on hand as to whip out his creeper face. You'd be surprised at the number of grown men Sakura had seen pee themselves.

The few that had been brave enough to make it to the first date were met with sabotage from Naruto. From whoopi cushions to sexy-no-jutsu, the self-proclaimed future hokage was still the ultimate prankster. His personal favorite form of sabotage included the use of laxatives. On that note, you'd also be surprised at the amount of full grown men that had shit themselves in front of Sakura.

Meddling teammates aside, Sakura was still adamant in her ways of finding her other half. When her beloved Shishou had banished the boys on a week-long scouting mission without her, Sakura had felt as if even the heavens were rooting for her happily ever after. But as it seems, fate roots for no one. Case in point, her teammates had passed on cock-blocking duties to none other than the one and only Uchiha Itachi.

She might as well start collecting cats, because after a week under his guard, she's sure no man will ever venture her way again.

When his foolish little brother and his little friends had first approached him with the mission of babysitting Haruno Sakura, Itachi had found himself puzzled. The last he checked, Sakura was a very capable woman and an even more capable kunoichi. He didn't see why her teammates would go so far as to enlist his aid in watching the pinkette in their absence. He was quite sure that her own skills would be more than adequate to defend herself; especially within the relatively safe confines of Konoha.

Itachi had politely declined the request as he saw no logic in accepting. But the pesky members of Team 7 continued to persist in their bothering and pestering until even the great Uchiha prodigy caved. If confronted on the matter, Itachi would flat out lie and cite lack of sleep and general boredom as reasons for his acceptance of the menial job. It had nothing to do with Sasuke's puppy dog eyes or the fact that he found Doctor Haruno rather interesting; nothing at all.

But as he was confronted by Sakura's attractively flustered face and her attempt at defiance, Itachi had to admit to himself that he would probably enjoy following around the amusing apprentice of the hokage. As if hearing his private thoughts, the feisty kunoichi flipped him the bird and vanished in a swirl of leaves. And thus began an unusual and interesting, weeklong game of cat and mouse.

Author's Note: So there is the first installment of what I believe to be a two-shot or a possible three-shot. The next chapter will be solely focused on the game of cat and mouse and Sakura's attempted dates (which you got a taste of at the very top).

Thank you for reading and hopefully enjoying this and I apologize for any errors. And I hate to pester you lovely readers out there, but please be a dear and leave me some love. Please don't be afraid to fav and alert or review for that matter. You don't need to have an account to review and it doesn't have to be long at all. Even a simple ";D" or a curt "update asap" inspires me to write on; plus it makes me all sorts of happy. ;D So thank you!

Ps- This is perhaps not my place, but my heart goes out to anyone who had a rough day yesterday. Don't let it steal your sunshine and stay golden. I send my love to y'all!

~Sincerely Dotti3