AN: Okay, guys. This is written solely for the sake of entertainment only. I read the terrible fanfiction My Immortal in all it's bloody trainwreck, and decided to make it funnier, more in character, and also actually fix the grammar and spelling (and not the Raven way, either). I don't own Harry Potter, that belongs to J.K. Rowling, the beloved author of my childhood, and I don't own Tara's messed up characters either.

Chapter 1

Special fangs (get it, 'cause I'm gothic) to my gf, except ew not in that way you sick preps, Raven, bloodytearz666 for not helping me with this horrible story and destroying my brain cells with her spelling. You rock my fucking socks, girrrrrl! Justin, sweetie, you're the love of my very depressing and gothic life! You rock too! Oh, and MCR ROCKS HARDCORE OMG DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THEM?

Hi! My name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, and I have long ebony black hair, which my parents somehow knew about when I was born, with purple streaks and red tips that reach my mid-back. Oh, then there's my icy blue eyes which are like clear tears, because you know, tears are usually blood. A lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (If you don't know who she is, then get the fuck out of here posers!) I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie, and incest is soooo hot! I'm a vampire, but my teeth are straight and white, not pink and rotted like a lot of movies and stuff portray. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to Hogwarts, which is in Scotland, of course. I'm a seventh year, and I'm obviously seventeen you idiots! I'm a goth, you know, in case you couldn't tell, even though I haven't done anything remotely gothic up to this point, and I only wear the blackest black. I love Hot Topic, because it doesn't have preps or posers shopping there, and I buy all my clothes from there! For example, today I was wearing a black school skirt that went a few inches above my knees, a black school shirt, and my house tie, which was Slytherin (duh), so it was green and silver, because the stupid preps at my school complain if I'm not in dress code. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation because I love to look like a ghost, black eyeliner, and definitely black eyeshadow. I was walking outside when the most peculiar thing happened! It was raining AND snowing for the first time in weather history, and weirdly enough there was no Sun, which I was extremely depressed about, because I'm always depressed. A lot of stupid fucking preps were staring at me, so I taught those bitches a lesson and stuck up my middle finger.

"Hey, Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was...Draco Malfoy!

"What's up, Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing, you flithy little gothic mudblood," he replied.

Just as I was about to teach him a lesson as well, because how fucking dare he, I randomly heard my ever so on time friends call me away.

Chapter Question: Will the weather return to normal? Will Draco be taught a lesson? Are preps overrunning the school?

Chapter 2

Fangs to bloodytearz666 for helping write this trainwreck! Beeteedubs, preps, like omfg, STOP flaming my story. You're annoying, and no one likes you.

The next day I woke up in my bedroom, which confused the hell out of me, because I thought I woke up on the roof every morning. Who moved me? Unfortunately, the weather had still not righted itself, and it was doing that strange raining AND snowing thing again. I opened the lid on my coffin and drank that bottle of blood I found in this peculiar shop in Hogsmeade. I'm sure you would love to get bored with the details of my coffin, so here we go! My coffin was black ebony and inside it was obviously black velvet because pink is just gross. I got out of my coffin and took off my MCR shirt. Instead I put on my regular Hogwarts garb and threw my hair in a messy bun.

My friend Raven (WILLOW THIS IS ALL YOU GIRLFRIEND!) woke up and grinned at me. She flipped her hair, which was weird because she hadn't opened her eyes, and low and behold the girl DID open her eyes. She also put on our ridiculous Hogwarts outfit, and we put on our usual makeup.

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing at the embarassment he caused me yesterday.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall because Hogwarts was magically remodeled overnight just for us to do just that.

"No, I so fucking don't! He's a prat! He called me a mudblood!" I shouted.

"Calm your bitchfit, girl, before I knock you into next week!" she exclaimed.
Thankfully, that idiot Draco walked up so I didn't have to teach this bitch a lesson too.

"Hello," Draco sneeered, "Why are you mucking up Slytherin house with your disgusting goth ways? We don't want you here. Just wait until my father hears about this! Oh, and Drako wants words with you." His lip curled in digust, and I stuck my middle finger up at him, because I'm a bad bitch!

Drako walked over to us, and he said "Hi."

"Hi," I relied flirtily just to piss Draco off. Drako is Draco's shyer, better half, because he's a drug addicted, Satan worshipping, goth like Willow and I.

"Guess what." he said. No, he didn't use a question mark, because he's depressed, okay!

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte, a muggle band that has no absolute clue that we exist, is having a concert in Hogsmeade," he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. "I love GC! They are my favorite band, besides MCR, because they're always my number one!"

"Well, do you want to go with me, even though this is the first conversation we've ever had?" he asked.

I gasped for no reason at all.

Chapter Question: Will Willow keep her nose out of Ebony's love life? Will Drako and Ebony go to the concert together? Why did Ebony gasp?

Chapter 3

STOP FLAMING ME, PREPS. GET LIVES. Otherwise, fangs to my amazing gothics for your great, great reviews! FANGS AGAIN TO MY FRIEND RAVEN! Oh, yeah, and I don't own the lyrics for Good Charlotte, because if I did, they would suck, and make you want to punch babies repeatedly! Okay!

On the night of the concert, I wore black jeans, a black GC t-shirt, and some black boots. I spiked my hair to do something different. I felt a little depressed after all that exhausting activity, so I slit my wrists to help me feel better. I read the most depressing book while waiting for my stupid fucking wrists to stop gushing blood, and listened to some GC to get in the mood.
I drank some human blood, because it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I snuck outside the castle, because it was after curfew. Drako was wating there with some broomsticks. I was glad, because flying cars are illegal. He was wearing a Simple Plan shirt because they were playing at the concert too, and a little eyeliner, which I thought made him look weird, and I told him so.

"Hi, Drako," I said in a depressed voice.

"Hi, Ebony," he replied back in an equally depressed voice. Oh, it's so nice when we're both depressed. We got on our brooms and flew to Hogsmeade. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs somehow while keeping both hands on our brooms, because YOLO. Who cares if you get lung cancer? I can fix that shit. When we got there, we hopped off of our brooms falling to our deaths, because we didn't land them. Miraculously, Merlin was merciful and we resurrected in time for the concert. We went to the mosh pit and jumped up and down, getting trampled over in the process because some fucking idiots thought you were supposed to bumrush each other.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood. They're all sohappy you've arrived. The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom, she sets you free into this life." Obviously, once again, you fucking poser preppy idiots, I don't own the lyrics to this song.

"Joel is so fucking hot!" I screamed to Drako, pointing to him as he sang. He filled the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Drako looked sad.

What the fuck was his problem? "What's wrong?" I asked as we got crushed by the moshers. Finally, I caught on.

"Hey, it's okay! I don't like him better than you!"

"Really?" asked Drako all sensitive-like, and he put his arm around me protectively.

"Really." I said. "Besides, I wouldn't even touch Joel with a fifty fucking foot pole now. He's dating that total stuck-up prep Hilary Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch, but she does make some pretty damn good movies. My face wrinkled in distaste, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went really well, and I had a depressingly good time. So did Drako. After the concert, we drank some butterbeer, and asked Joel and Benji for some totally psycho fan stuff, like nose hairs and their used tissues. Drako and I crawled back to our brooms, but Drako didn't go back to Hogwarts...instead he took us to the motherfucking FORBIDDEN FOREST!

Chapter Question: How did Drako and Ebony sneak out of the castle? How did they not fall to their deaths? How can faces be blonde? Why is Drako taking them into the Forbidden Forest? Oooo, this is getting so good! *squeals*

Chapter 4