Written for the avengers kinkmeme and the prompt: "I want Steve's brains and amazingness. Give me five times Steve shocks one of the Avengers and one time he shocks Director Fury."

Eternal thanks go to Aria_Lerendeair for all of her help.

Okay, so I took a rather broad definition of shock. And I wrote the Fury scene first. So now I'm trying to catch up to it. Also, they aren't all BAMF!surprises, but I hope that's alright.
Warning: everything I know about Captain America comes from the movies, Wikipedia or other fanfics.

Thor

Before Thor leaves with Loki and the tesseract, the team goes out for shawarma and then drinks. Bruce begs off after one beer. He doesn't deal well with loss of inhibition. Neither does anyone around him. Although, Thor does wonder if the Hulk would not be more amenable or less if he emerged from an intoxicated Bruce.

Clint and Natasha leave next. Clint's still mourning Coulson and Natasha is watching him closely. When it looks like he's inclined to indulge too much, Natasha claims exhaustion and asks Clint to take her home. Thor regrets their departure, but he is still learning the customs of Midgard, and those connected to grief seem the most complicated.

That leaves Tony, Thor and Steve. Tony is on his sixth drink of the evening and Steve is still nursing his first beer. Thor thinks this is a lamentable situation.

"Friend Steve, do you not wish to celebrate our victory by consuming alcohol and singing songs of praise?"

"I can't get drunk, Thor," Steve says with a shrug.

"Of course not, these beverages are weak and little suited to the task."

"No, I mean I can't get drunk. At all. Ever."

""S true," Tony murmurs, raising his drink in emphasis and indicating vaguely in Steve's direction. so that it sloshes over the side. He looks at the spill mournfully before refocusing on Thor. "'S the serum. Can't even get a sugar rush or caffeine high."

"That is most undesirable."

"A contest!" Tony declares.

"Indeed!" Thor agrees enthusiastically. He claps Tony on the shoulder so that Tony almost falls out of his chair. Steve raises an eyebrow.

"Come, friend, we have won a great victory and must raise our glasses in remembrance of Son of Coul."

"I'm not entirely sure how a drinking contest will do that," Steve says, eyebrows raising in scepticism.

"I once bested the frost giants when I attempted to drink the oceans. Asgard's valour proved great that day." Thor grins at Steve and Tony looks at him earnestly, if a little blearily.

"Fine," Steve says after a moment, "but I'm not taking responsibility for your hangovers."

Sometime later, they've all lost track, Thor slaps the table with one hand causing the accumulated bottles to rattle together and one perched precariously to fall over the edge and land with a clunk on the floor where it rolls under the table. Thor follows the motion until the bottle disappears from view, then blinks and turns back to Steve.

"I must concede, friend Steve. Your prowess in this endeavour far outstrips my own." He sways in place but is glad that he's managed to speak his thoughts clearly. "I must bring Asgardian mead when next I return."

"A good scientific experiment requires a large sample group," Tony agrees, carefully enunciating each word before he slumps sideward into Steve. Steve sighs but doesn't move.

"To friends," Steve toasts, knocking back the last of his drink. Thor echoes him. Tony snores softly.