10. Injuries

I know I've covered a bit about this already, but I feel like I need to go over it again.

Too many times have I read that Alex thought he might have broken ribs. I once bruised my ribs while surfing and it hurt to breathe for over a week, let only do anything else. Broken ribs isn't something you can slap a band aid on, or even put on a cast. It requires a long time doing absolutely nothing in order to heal.

Now for some quick pointers:

I said it once, and I'll say it again. Gauze does not heal anything.

Broken bones take weeks to heal. Everyone should know that.

The bullet wound is no longer a big deal.

If Alex has just been rescued from a long and happy vacation at a Scorpia torture facility, MI6 aren't going to send him to BB for recovery. They would actually they and heal him so that he could be used again.

If Alex is tied to a whipping post, anything over twenty lashes is going to knock him unconscious. Fifty can kill a man, and would definitely kill Alex. Clearly people don't understand the concept that having your skin stripped off your back is more painful than you can imagine.

11. OC Spies and Females

"Hello Alex, I want you to meet Alexis. She's a spy for the CIA and she has been on more missions than you and is better than you in every way because she has been a spy her whole life. Despite the fact that your partners on missions always seem to die, we're going to pair you up in the hope that you make babies and give us a race of super awesome spies."

This trope is for girls who wish they were Alex rider. Also common is making Alex a girl, or giving him a twin.

First off, do not name your character anything close to the name Alex. It's stupid and unlikely. For all intents and purposes, you might as well name her Mary Sue. You see boys and girls, Alexis has no weakness. She can do everything Alex can and more, despite the fact that at some point in the story, she will be kidnapped and tortured. And then only Alex can help heal her because love heals all…

The more flaws you give Alexis, the less Mary Sue like she will become. Give her a drinking problem, drug addictions; have her be a total bitch the entire story.

And while we're on the topic of girls, we all know that they are in love with Alex the moment they lay eyes on him, despite the fact that he's a druggie and takes place is gang wars after school. If you can't tell by reading his guide, I like to stick to the cannon. Cannon means Alex is with Sabina. I know that you hate Sabina and want her dead so that you can marry Alex some day and have lots of spy babies, but let's be realistic. Alex can't have a girlfriend that he has to lie to every other minute to keep safe.

As of the moment this is all that I have written. If you think that I have missed anything big or you would like me to add another chapter, please tell me, otherwise the guide stays as it is.