Hello everyone. I've written this guide because I'm sick of reading the same thing over and over again. The same cliches have been going on for as long as I can remember and I've been on this site for a long time. There is little to no originality and its time someone told you that. I know that there are others who share my opinion; just as there will people who treat this story as a personal attack on their story.

You know what? It is.

I'd like to say a huge thank you to Camnstarr4eva for going over this story and inserting her thoughts. You totally deserve cake. If you haven't read her story Back in the Mix, then you live under a rock.

Disclaimer: If I could make money on this I would.

How to Write an Alex Rider Fanfic that Doesn't Suck

1. How to get people to notice your story.

If you want readers, then you're going to have to capture their interest by writing a good summary. This sound obvious enough, but you'd be surprised at the amount of bull shit that pops up.

Example: alex is forced to live with k unit. I suck are summaries but the story is different than usual! This is my first story so be NICE! :)

First off, capitalize names. To be able to read the Alex Rider series, you need at least a fifth grade reading level, and I'm pretty sure they teach capitalization in the fifth grade.

Do not tell me that you suck at summaries. If you can't write a single sentence that looks cool or exciting, then chances are your story isn't going to be either cool or exciting. Whatever the story is about, you must have at least one good part in it. Take that part and use it as the summary.

Example: Alex stared into the dimly lit room, his face twisted into a look of shock and fear. What he saw changed everything. They were all going to die.

See what I did there? That was a stroke of literary genius. I could write an entire story just around those three sentences.

It's your first story? Congratulations! Too bad I don't give rat's ass. Telling me what I should do isn't going to make me be nice either. If I like your story, then I'll tell you so. If not, then I'm going to hit the back button and let someone else lie. If you want to tell people, "Hey, this is my first story, so if anyone has any pointers, that would be great" then awesome. But for goodness sake don't put it in the summary. It oozes the fact that you're not confident with your writing.

If you're writing an AR fic, then chances are you should rate it T for teen. If you really want to be goody-two-shoes, then go ahead and put K. T covers a lot of ground. You can cuss all you want, and kill whoever you want. Rate your story M if there is either graphic sex, or brutal torture, or both.

Length is also important. A lot of noobs (Including me, once upon a time) write short chapters of only a couple of hundred words. Unless it's a prologue, each chapter should be at least a thousand words. A couple hundred reeks of inexperience.

Do not put Author Notes (AN) in the middle of your story. If you need to, put a (1), and then explain it at the bottom of the page. Explaining something interrupts the flow of the story.

2. How to Write Alex Rider

Hi, my name is Alex Rider. I'm fifteen, but in most of the books I'm fourteen, so let's pretend I'm fourteen for a minute. Got that? Are you sure? I look like a kid, y'know? Not like I'm sixteen or nineteen. Fourteen. Because if I looked nineteen, then I wouldn't be forced to go on any stupid missions. That would defeat the purpose of looking like a kid…

I have read too many stories where K Unit is all like, "What? Cub is only fourteen? I though he was nineteen or something!" If he was nineteen then there would be no reason for Wolf to hate him. Brecon Beacons is the first training stage for those who wish to join the SAS. If he was nineteen, no one would think twice about him being there, since he couldn't be much younger than most of the new recruits. If he looked older then Alex really was, then he wouldn't be sent out on missions posing as a fucking kid. I understand that stress/trauma and make a person look/feel/act older, but that's different than actually looking five years older. You would still see a fourteen year old, but a fourteen year old who felt slightly off. It's not a literal change, and only those who knew Alex beforehand would notice.

Now about Alex. He has blonde/brown hair, and brown eyes. That's all you need to say about him. According to Alex Rider Wiki, he plays football, tennis, and basketball. He's a black belt. A black belt does not mean you can beat up anyone. Ever read the Cherub series? Those kids are several different kinds of black belts, and they still can get overpowered. Alex is a kid and it's not hard to overpower a kid. Make Alex as dangerous as you want, but please keep it realistic. He can't take down twenty men with his bare hands.

Now for the bullet wound. For some reason it's a favorite topic on this section. Alex was shot near the heart. Yes, this was a huge wound and a big deal, but it didn't stop Alex from going on a mission literally straight from the hospital. In the books that follow him getting the wound, it's mentioned about twice, and doesn't really affect him in too great a way. It's not his Achilles heel, so please get over it. Yes, it's a secret, but not one that will kill him if someone punches him there.

Everyone on this board seems to think that Alex's school completely hates him and that he does drugs. Crocodile Tears proved this wrong and showed that Alex actually has friends besides Tom. Fact is, lots of kids do drugs and people don't hate them for it. Whoever came up with the gang idea is stupid. No one cares that Alex misses school.

As for Rider's talents, his Uncle pretty much taught him everything under the sun. Alex is in great shape, but this doesn't mean he can go out and run ten miles like it's nothing (Yes, I have read this multiple times). I run cross country. I've run ten miles plenty of times, and I can tell you that football/soccer players can't do that. I've seen them try, and they can't even make it half way. I dare you right now, go out and run a couple miles. No breaks, ten full miles, as fast as you can. Alex can't do this, so please don't make his entire class do it (See chapter on Breacon Beacons).

Alex is a teenage guy, so that means he does teenage guy stuff. Please don't have him reading Twilight in his spare time. Video games, sports, movies, and girls. Keep it simple all right?

Teenagers are snarky. When Alex is about to be tortured and or killed, he should be doing everything he can to get out of the situation. When Alex is faced with a tough challenge, he does not say, "Darn it!" Alex says, "Shit!" like every other teenager about to be gunned down by a machine gun. If you don't want swear words in your story, say that Alex swore softly, or did so in his head.

Lastly, don't be afraid to kill Alex. Let's face it, his life sucks. You're practically doing him a favor. If you have an idea for the end of the story, don't be afraid on how people judge you for it. In this kind of situation, I highly doubt that Alex Rider's death will ever be in vain. It's his job to save the world after all.

If you hate me, then that means you've learned something. Flames are welcome, I wouldn't have posted this story otherwise.