I'M SO SORRY! I got so many PM's telling me to update that I began to feel so bad. D:

Senior year is making this difficult! I thought senior year was suppose to be the easiest year, but I've been getting so much homework every night that I don't have much time for other things, and slight writers block. I mean, I know what I want to happen chapter to chapter. I can come up with a story in less than an hour and can come up with the main points but it's only the outline though. I have trouble leading up to those points. Which is the reason for delayed chapters. Again, I AM SO SORRY!

XxXxX

The pounding of his heart was deafening, from both anxiety and fear. The storm raging outside only made things worse. It kind of reminded Romano of when he was still a colony, running to Spain's room to sleep with him because he was afraid. Although he would never admit it. He was never one to wear his heart on his sleeve, the people who took the time to understand him knew that. Spain knew that better than anyone else. So why couldn't he see that Romano was hurting all that time? Why couldn't he see how much the Southern Italian loved him? Maybe he always knew but chose not to say anything. That thought scared Romano most of all. The thought that Spain only wanted his body, he didn't stop Romano the other day because he didn't want to. He had nothing to say to his former colony. What if he thought of someone else while they had sex?

….Like Romano's brother… Why wouldn't he think of his brother..? Anyone else would.

'Stop it.' The smarter more courageous voice in his head told him. 'You're just trying to find reasons not to tell him.'

Well who wouldn't be trying to find reasons not to tell the person they were in love with their feelings? It's not like Spain ever did anything to make Romano think he shared even an inkling of love towards the Southern Italian that the Romano did for him. But then again… Spain wasn't very perceptive.

What if… Spain was experiencing the exact same thing as Romano…?

The Italian stopped. That couldn't be… could it? What if, all this time they were just running in circles? Was it possible that this love wasn't unrequited? No, it couldn't be true… one of them had to have noticed at some point. Spain was the country of passion, Italy was the country of romance. There was no way neither of them never caught on to what could've been right in front of them. But why was Romano doubting that? Wasn't this what was secretly driving Romano to confessing his love? There was no way he would go into a situation knowing he would get his heart broken. This was why he pushed people away to begin with, he learned this from his childhood years.

But that was before he met Spain.

Spain had always been different. He never gave up on trying to know the real Romano. True, in the beginning he DID try to exchange him for his younger brother. That was when Romano thought he would be just like everyone else. But then after the run in with Turkey, Spain had some how caught Romano off guard. He had saved the colony he had supposedly not wanted, causing said colony to temporarily swallow his pride and thank his "boss". It was then Spain realized that there was more to Romano that meets the eye. He then realized that Romano was hiding. Hiding behind a tough exterior. And ever since that day to the day he had to go back to Austria's house, the Spaniard never stopped trying to get the Italian to lower his defenses.

And even after that fateful night that changed their relationship forever, Spain was still more special to the Italian than anyone else. What if all this time, Romano was special to Spain too? But if that was true then why did Spain say it didn't have to mean anything? Maybe for once Romano had a reason to be negative, Spain feeling something for Romano was just wishful thinking. But despite that, Romano continued walking, slowly but surely to Spain's door. It was just down the hall, but the walk seemed to go by slowly and too quickly at the same time. Before he knew it, he was in front of his old care taker's door. A loud crash of lightning resounded through out the hall, causing Romano to freeze up again.

'Damn it, of all times why now?!' The Southern Italian thought to himself. Maybe this was a sign, maybe it was God or mother nature telling him he wasn't meant to tell Spain this. Not tonight, not ever. They aren't meant to be. What was Romano thinking? Waltzing up to his sex buddy's door in the middle of the night, confessing his feelings and thinking maybe, just maybe Spain would feel the same way too? Stupid. Romano was just stupid. This was a horrible idea. Romano needed to just turn around and go back. Feliciano hopefully wouldn't be too mad.

But just when he was able to move and was about to turn around to leave, the door swung open and out came the Spaniard looking like he was about to rush to get somewhere. The Spaniard stopped before running into the Southern Italian and stared for a second, confused and shocked.

"…Romano…?"

XxXxX

He was back here again. In Spain's hotel room, with said Spaniard looking at him with questioning eyes. But this time, he was really going to tell him… maybe… no, he would tell him. This had gone on long enough, Romano should have been honest with Spain from the very beginning, really. But it was too late to change that now. Romano opened his mouth to speak, but nothing would come out. He chose to close it and try to rebuild the courage he felt when he left his hotel room.

"Romano? Are you okay…? What were you doing out in the halls during this storm?" Spain asked. Romano felt something in his words. Spain did care for Romano even after all this. He knew Romano was afraid of storms. But why was he about to run out of his room? Was there somewhere he needed to be?

Suddenly dread filled Romano… was Spain going to one of his other lovers…? It made sense. Why else would Spain be leaving his hotel room at this time?

"Romano?"

Who were Spain's other lovers? Were they France and Prussia? They were called the bad touch trio after all. What if it was England? No way. It would never be England. What about Belgium? They were close, but they were like brother and sister. But what about Mexico? Mexico was Spain's colony too. What if Spain had some creepy kink for colonies he raised? But Mexico was too busy trying to invade Texas to waste his time with Spain.

"Roma?"

Those were all the people really close enough to Spain. But then again, it would be harder to just be sex buddies with people who were close to you, right? But Spain and Romano were close. Before all this, Spain hung out with Romano every chance he got. Their friendship was never a lie, so why would they allow this to happen?

"Lovino!"

Romano's head shot up, and he looked at Spain, shocked. He felt as if his heart had stopped for a moment, then began pounding ten times faster than it had been before.

"…W-What did you just call me?" the Southern Italian questioned. He could see Spain's eyes widen in realization, before looking away.

"I-I'm sorry… I meant Ro-"

"Please don't call me Romano." Spain turned his head towards his former charge so quickly Romano wondered how he didn't get whiplash.

"Que?" the Spaniard questioned. It was Romano's turn to look away. He could feel the tears pricking his eyes.

"I… I said… c-call me… Lovino… th-that's what you use to c-call me… right? And that s-stupid nickname too…"

"Lo… Romano… I.. I don't understand what's going on…" Spain said, confused and slightly worried. Why did Romano want Spain to suddenly use his human name? Ever since they began this strange habit Romano had never called Spain by his human name. Until a few nights ago… Spain was so confused by all of this. When Romano had said Spain's human name, it had given the Spaniard hope. Maybe, just maybe, the Southern Italian loved him back. But then he avoided him for days afterwards, making Spain think Romano was ashamed and regretted that moment of weakness. But then, what is all this? Why was Romano in front of his door? Why did he look so crushed when Spain didn't call him by his human name?

Romano's eyes began to water, tears were threatening to spill out. He had to leave before he made more of a fool of himself. He knew it was a mistake to come here. Why did he think any good would come out of this? If anything, he had only made things worse.

As if Spain would actually love him.

"Never mind… it's not important and I didn't mean it. I really don't care either way." Romano said, getting up from the bed and walking past Spain to the door.

Spain watched as Romano's shoulders dropped. As the Southern Italian got up to leave a thousand questions began to go through the Spaniards head. What was wrong with him? Why did he want Spain to call him by his human name? Was Spain being slow to catch onto something? But then another question popped into his head.

Why was he letting Romano go?

"You're lying." Spain said, surprising himself. Romano froze in the doorway. He turned to face Spain with confusion, slight shock, and a hint of hope written on his face.

"W-What?" he stuttered, struggling to process.

"You're lying… what were you doing in front of my door?" the Spaniard asked. The air tensed, as Romano put his guard up. He scowled before answering.

"No reason, it doesn't matter." his tone pretty much told the Spain not to ask any more questions but he ignored it.

"But it does matter, why were you in front of my door?" he demanded. Romano's glare became harsher as his hands balled into fists. This was never a good sign.

"God, you're so annoying! I just got lost! That's all! Don't think you're special!" Romano's voice began to rise. This is it, they were about to get into a fight. They had been holding in their emotions for too long. This was their breaking point.

"Why do you keep lying?!" Spain shouted. "Why is it so hard for you to tell me the truth?!"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" Romano yelled. His hand shot up to his mouth, not out of shock, but to hold his sobbing in. He had finally been broken open. It was all over now. He tried to blink back his tears, but it only made them worse. They rolled down his face as sobs wracked his body. He didn't dare look up, he continued to stare at the floor. The room had gone quiet minus the sounds of Romano crying.

Spain stood there silently, his brain slowly trying to catch up. He had began to stop thinking was he had shouted at his former colony, but the confession snapped it back to reality. Suddenly, everything began to register.

Romano had just told him that he loves him.

Joy began to burst in Spain's chest, and although Romano was crying at the moment, Spain couldn't help but to smile like an idiot. He felt like crying too but for a completely different reason. But he began to also realize that Romano was crying because he thought Spain didn't feel the same way. He briskly walked to the Southern Italian and threw his arms around him. Romano stiffened, but this caused Spain just to hold him tighter. Romano began to struggle to get out of Spain's grip.

"L-Let go of me!" he cried, more tears slipping down his face. But Spain wasn't letting go.

"No." Spain responded. Romano stopped fighting, instead choosing to wrap his arms around the Spaniard, burying his face in the mans chest. Spain waited for Romano to calm down before finally making a response.

"You know… we're both idiots…" he said smiling lightly. "So slow to catch on to what the other is feeling. Not being able to see it what's right in front of us… I never wanted to push you away that first time Romano… I may not be able to remember the night, but I remember waking up to see fear in your eyes. I misinterpreted that fear. I thought… I thought you had regretted everything…"

Romano finally looked up at him. Spain thought Romano regretted sleeping with him? But even after that they still slept together. As if Spain read his mind he continued.

"And yet, after that we still had sex every time there was a meeting. I began to think I was just someone who you could always come to if you weren't able to sleep with anyone else… I'm sorry. I can't believe I thought of you that way."

Romano's eyes widened.

"Wait… you mean you thought I was sleeping with other people…?" the Southern Italian asked.

"Si, I'm really sorry Roma. It was wrong of me to think that..."

"Oh God…" he began to laugh. This was ridiculous, they were ridiculous. Spain looked at him confusion and fear etched across his face. Romano continued. "I thought YOU were sleeping with other people!"

Spain looked surprised, but quickly broke into a grin. They began laughing at their idiocy, until Spain broke the fit of laughter by cupping the side of Romano's face with his right hand. The smile was so bright, his eyes were so loving that Romano felt an all around warmness. Spain's lips were right up against Romano's. The Italian could feel Spain's warm breath on his lips as he whispered:

"I love you, Lovi."

This kiss. It was the best kiss they had ever shared. Because, they both now knew it wasn't an empty kiss. They both moaned into each other's mouths as their tongues wrapped around each other. Romano felt the bed come up to meet him, with Spain on top. He wanted Spain. More than ever, now that he knew he could have all of him. He wished he knew how Spain felt before all of this mess, that they had confessed their feelings before that fateful night and could have already been a couple. But, he couldn't find it in himself to be upset about it at the moment, as Spain began kissing down his neck. He began to unbutton Romano's shirt. He was two buttons down before he stopped, he looked up at Romano. They shared eye contact before Spain leant down and kissed the Italian once more.

"Lovino, let me love you.." the Spaniard murmured against his lips. Romano shivered in pleasure and nodded. That was all Spain needed to continue unbuttoning his shirt. Romano lifted himself up slightly to help Spain take the shirt the rest of the way off, to throw somewhere in the room. Once the shirt was off Spain continued his bites, down to Romano's chest. The Italian began to shiver in pleasure and fear. Their casual fucks weren't a big deal compared to making love. Perhaps, if someone were to look at it one way they had been technically making love the whole time. But Romano didn't see it that way. This was completely different, and he was afraid. Millions of what if scenarios were racing through his head. What if Spain realized being in a relationship with Romano wasn't that great? Realized he was too mean, too stuck up, just too messed up to be with? What if he wasn't satisfied by their making love? What if he was lying and saying he loved Romano to make him feel better?

Spain's eyes held concern as he rubbed his thumb over Romano's cheek. The Southern Italian realized he had started crying. The Spaniard gave a small warm smile before he began kissing Romano's tears away. There was no reason to be scared. Spain loved him, had loved him all along, from the very beginning. His love wasn't unrequited in the slightest. They were finally being honest with themselves and each other. This was completely different, but not bad or unwelcome. Romano wrapped his arms around Spain and pulled him down for a kiss. The kisses were all equally as loving. Or maybe they had always been that way and Romano just hadn't noticed.

Romano helped Spain rid of his shirt, before the Spaniard dove in for Romano's pants. The Italian got even more nervous. It was like it was his first time again. But this was much better than the actual first time, considering they were both extremely inebriated. But if he started shivering even more than he already was Spain might think Romano didn't actually want to do this. And he did. He definitely did, more than anything. He tried to calm himself down, he was usually in control of these things. Hell, he initiated it practically every time. Why is it knowing that Spain actually loves him back makes him feel intimidated?

"Lovi..? Are you okay?" the Spaniard asked for the second time that night. Romano looked into his eyes, there was so much love that he couldn't believe he hadn't noticed before this night. He could never lie to Spain, not again.

"I'm scared…" the Italian whispered. It was quiet for a moment. There wasn't even a storm to break the silence. It must have already passed. A few seconds passed before Spain broke into a smile again. Before Romano could question it, he was tackled to the bed. Spain had his arms wrapped around him and had his face nuzzling the Italian's neck. "S-Spain! W-what the hell?" Romano cried, but Spain ignored his question choosing instead to laugh. Why was he laughing?!

"Stop laughing at me bastard!"

"Sorry Lovi," Spain said, giggling to himself. Only he could giggle and still not look girly. "I'm just surprised you haven't noticed how scared I am too."

"W-what? Well you sure don't act scared!" Spain decided to prove his point by holding out one of his hands. Sure enough, it was shaking.

"Only you make me this afraid." Spain said chuckling. Apparently he also likes to laugh when he's nervous. Romano looked at the shaky hand before bringing up his own and intertwining their fingers. He lifted himself up to meet Spain's lips, Spain got the message and met him half way. For some reason, knowing Spain was nervous as well made Romano feel much better. Spain continued to pull his pants off. Apparently Romano's pants were half off when Spain embraced him. Well that was kind of weird to say the least. Spain began kissing up Romano's leg, leaving bite marks in random places. Well, Romano couldn't wear shorts for a while. That's a shame, seeing as how it was summer and he lived in South Italy. Romano began to relax slightly, losing himself in the amazing pleasure. Until all of a sudden he felt something warm and wet through his boxers. He gasped and looked down to see Spain's mouth on him.

"A-Anto- Ahhh…" Romano managed to moan out as Spain licked him through his boxers. They had never done this before. He had never had this happen to him. Spain looked up at him and winked, causing the Italian to let out another moan. Spain pulled Romano's boxers down to reveal Romano's already weeping member. Spain took the member with his hand and began pumping. He began licking the underside of the base. Romano bit his lip, trying to keep himself from making any noise. But as Spain swirled his tongue around the tip the Italian couldn't hold in his pleasure any longer. He could feel the Spaniard smirking against him as he let out a loud groan. Blow jobs just wasn't something they did. It would just be a quick screw and then fall asleep/sneak out. Why hadn't they done this before? It was amazing!

He felt himself hit the back of Spain's throat. He carded his fingers through the Spaniard chocolate locks as he thrusted into his mouth. He wasn't lasting long, he just wasn't use to this. He was so close to coming, until Spain released him. He gasped as cold air hit him. To say he was pissed would be an understatement. He was about to yell but the Spaniard suddenly on top of him shoving his tongue in his mouth was making it very difficult. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Spain reaching over to the tables drawers and pulling out a bottle. He immediately recognized it as lubricant. Spain began warming the bottle in his hands before pouring it onto three of his fingers. Romano spread his legs in anticipation. Spain kissed him once more before slipping in a finger. The sensation would never stop feeling slightly odd to him no matter how many times. But, despite that it felt nice at the same time, although that could be the fact that it was Spain doing this to him that made it feel so good. They usually didn't take long to prepare. They usually just got right to it, but tonight they wanted to take their time and enjoy this. Savor the intimacy.

Spain nuzzled Romano's neck, pressing kisses to it as he added a second finger and began a scissoring motion. Romano was happy he added another finger. One just didn't do it for him. Spain looked up at him. They both stared into each other's eyes before a playful smirk spread over the Italian's face. He leaned forward till their faces were centimeters apart. Romano's tongue came out and did a slow, agonizing sweep across the Spaniards lips. Spain shivered in pleasure and leaned forward to try and capture that tongue, only to be in vain as Romano leaned back just out of reach, same playful smirk still on his face. Spain let out a possessive growl and gripped the back of Romano's head by the hair and pressed their lips together. Romano moaned into his mouth and while he was distracted Spain slipped in the third finger, stretching his lover's entrance. They pulled back to breath, their lips connected by a string of saliva. While catching his breath Spain got the chance to really admire his blushing Italian. He stared into those hazel eyes. He was never really sure what color they were. They could be golden one minute then change to a beautiful green or brown, and then sometimes his eyes were all three and he would just get lost in them. Then there was his perfectly shaped nose and chin, with perfectly plump cherry lips, his smooth skin was tanned with an olive tone to it, this beautiful face was framed by soft mahogany colored hair with a cute rebellious curl jutting out on the right. Spain never understood how Romano couldn't see how perfect he was.

Spain couldn't take this any longer. He pulled his fingers out, earning a whine from the Southern Italian. He undid his pants and pulled them down along with his boxers. He took the lube and poured it onto his hand rubbing it onto his erection. He got back on top of Romano, the Italian understood what was coming and wrapped his arms around Spain's neck and his legs around his waist. They met half way sharing a chaste kiss.

"Are you ready, Lovi?" Spain asked.

"I-Idiot… I've been ready for this for a very long time…" the Italian reassured. Spain smiled as he grabbed Romano's hips and positioned himself. He pushed all the way in, moaning at the heat and tightness. Romano gasped in pleasure and grinded himself against Spain's hips, causing another growl to come from said Spaniard. He pulled almost completely out before thrusting back in, hitting Romano's pleasure spot. He started off slow before getting a rhythm going. Romano ran his nails down Spain's back while snapping up his hips to meet his former boss'. He moaned as Spain repeatedly hit his prostate. He never understood how Spain could do that. He had this ability to hit the perfect place non stop with out fail. Although seeing how long they had been doing this, he probably had more than enough time to memorize it. He threw his head back and moaned. This felt amazing, and he could finally express that with out feeling like he was breaking a rule. Spain didn't think he could get even more turned on than he was now. Romano had never been this vocal before. He could feel the Italian's nails digging into his back, which only caused him to go deeper, harder, and faster. By the way Spain was gripping Romano's hips he knew he would leave bruises. He raised one of his hands to Romano's lower back to support the Italian as he arched his back off the mattress. Spain felt Romano's fingers going through his hair and then suddenly grab onto his locks as he felt Romano tighten around him.

"Ah! Antonio!" He cried out as he came hard onto their chests. The involuntary squeeze caused Spain to cum after a few more thrusts.

"Lovino…" Spain groaned as he came. He collapsed on his side as to not crush Romano. They laid there, catching their breath. Spain felt his eye lids droop in exhaustion. But before he let himself fall asleep, he held out his arms as an invitation. Romano, after a bit of hesitation scooted over and allowed himself to be held by the Spaniard and might have held him back as well. Spain grabbed the covers and pulled them over the pair before holding the Italian closer as they both fell asleep.

XxXxX

Spain still half asleep, reached to the other side of the bed to find his bedmate. Only to feel nothing but cold sheets. His eyes shot open and he sat up looking around to find none of Romano's clothes or Romano himself in sight. He could feel tears well up in his eyes. Romano left. He snuck out in the middle of the night, again. Just like always. Why had Spain thought this would be different? Romano held no feelings for him. But, why would he come to Spain's room in the middle of the night confessing? To screw with Spain's emotions? Spain felt a tear slide down his cheek, as he heard his room door unlock and swing open. He looked over to see his Italian walk through the door carrying two cups of coffee. Romano froze as he noticed his Spanish partner awake and looking like he was about to cry.

"U-Um… you were out of coffee mix, so I went down stairs to brew some…" he muttered awkwardly, setting down the cups on the table and walking over to the bed. "W-What's wrong, Toni?" the confusion and worry obvious in his voice.

"I…" Spain looked away, embarrassed. "I thought… you had left…" he muttered, expecting to get yelled at. He should have more faith in Romano not to mess with his emotions, but with the way they had been before last night could you really blame him?

Spain felt a soft hand on his face, wiping away the stray tear as he looked back at Romano. Their lips met in a warm kiss, as Romano wrapped his arms around Spain's neck pulling him closer. When they separated, their foreheads stayed pressed together.

"I'm not ever going to leave again, Spain." he promised. But Spain knew that after the meeting they would have to leave each other again until next meeting.

"If you really mean that… then come to Spain with me." Antonio said. Romano looked surprised, but the Spaniard was quickly met with a warm smile. He wouldn't mind trying to see that smile more often.

"I guess I'm going to have to, you're not going to get rid of me that easily." The Italian said slyly.

"I don't ever plan to." The Spaniard said with a smile.

XxXxX

I feel so happy and so sad that this story is now over…

Are you guys satisfied with this ending? Or do you feel it wasn't enough? Be honest.

But either way, thank you for your support and patience and for some of you, threats to finish the story. I couldn't have done it with out all of you! Te amo mucho!