(Peeks out sheepishly from behind a corner) Uh hey guys. I know this is late...very late actually. Please forgive me for that. Life happened. But the bloopers and outakes are here now and I hope you all enjoy them.
Zinka17: I hope the bloopers are to your liking. :)
Guest: I'm glad I had the other smurfs return in this story too.
Chloe: Aw thanks so much. ^_^ I hope you haven't had anymore trouble with the transformers lately.
Fan de Basil de Baker Street: Thank you so much! :D
The Crystal Roze: Yep! Happy endings all around. Well technically the smurfs were never dead. Just in a sleeping trance but I get what you meant.
Callister the Great: Your welcome. Hehe I understand about you not reviewing as much on the SP3 parody. No hard feelings. :)
Random Junk 13: Haha everyones so excited that Balthazar is dead. XD Don't blame ya'll though. :P
Kastella: Yes Gargamel and Chlorohydris you both are old. Older than the hills. XD The-Ghost-Cat-of-Arkansass: Hehe well I suppose if you kissed Johan on the cheek it'd be alright. But just remember he's MY husband now. (points to ring) XD LOL
Bumble Bee: Thanks! :D
PlayStationFan17: Ok. I get Johan, you get the smurfs and everyone's happy. ^_^
Smurfs: O_O'
The Smurfs, Johan and Peewit belong to Peyo
The Swan Princess belongs to Nest Productions
Livy and Thomas belong to me.
Enjoy! No animals were harmed in the making of this parody...Smurfs and humans however that's a different story.
Chapter 1
Director (Me/Livy) : ACTION!
*Young Livy and Johan are fighting in the background. Livy trips Johan down the stairs and then proceeds to grab him by the neck and strangle him*
King: The children seem to get along quite nicely
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Johan: Uh...um...Wh-what else is there?
Thomas: OOOOHHHHHH! Your dead now Johan.
Livy: CUT! Thomas that's not your line!
Thomas: *pulls out script* All it says is "Make buzzer noise." What the heck's a buzzer?
Livy: *faceplam* You know, sometimes you guys being from Medival times kills me. T_T
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Chapter 2
Thomas: Think! There must be something other than Livy's beauty!
Johan: Of coarse there is Thomas! She like...You know! …...And then...Am I right?"
Thomas: *glare*
Johan: I don't know how to say it! *Slumps in his chair and buries his face in his hands. Suddenly gets hit with inspiration* I'll prove it to her! I'll prove me lo-OW! *Tries to stand up but hits his hip on the side of the table, knocking it and the chess game over*
Me: CUT!
Peewit: Second time today you lost your queen. (giggle)
Me: *talking in a megaphone* ALRIGHT PEOPLE GET THIS MESS CLEANED UP AND WE'LL TAKE IT FROM THE TOP!
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Witty: *comes out of the dressing room dressed in his muscician outfit can carrying the "bunny accessories" in hand* Alright, I'm dressed. Now wha-
Livy: Take your place. You need to start over there on the far right. Go! Go! Go!
Witty: I'm going! I'm going! Sheesh! *Goes over and stands next to the musiscians.*
Livy: *in the directors chair* Okay people we start rolling in 3...2...1! ACTION!
Muscicians: We are a band! And not a band of animals (They switch into their animal costumes) This masquerade-
Livy: CUT! CUT! CUT!
Random Musician: What's wrong?
Livy: Ahem, (points to Witty who's still not fully dressed) Why aren't you in full costume Witty?
Witty: But...But those guys took like, half a second to put on all that stuff...how am I supposed to do that?!
Livy: Ugh!
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Livy: Okay Thomas, GO!
Thomas: Down on all fours please and growl, ferousciously!
Musicians: (deadpan expression)
Thomas: Liven it up a little!
Elephant Musician: (makes a "pew" sound with his trunk)
Thomas: I want you to strike fear into my heart!
Witty: (takes a deep breath and then...) …..mew...
Livy: CUT! (storms on set in front of Witty) Witty...what was that?
Witty: (sheepishly) My roar?
Livy: That was not a roar. THIS is a roar. (takes a deep breath and then lets out a loud T-rex roar that sends Witty flying back into a tree)
Witty:...duly noted...
Livy: (into the megaphone) ALRIGHT PEOPLE WERE BURNING DAYLIGHT HERE! LETS MOVE!
Witty: (to the Duck musician) Why does she have a megaphone again?
Duck Musician: (shrug) It's mostly for show
Livy: (offscreen) I SAID MOVE IT PEOPLE!
Musicians: (frantically scramble to get back in position)
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Livy: Alright people this is the final scene! Witty, you start running towards Johan and then turn tail and jump into those bushes. Got it?
Witty: Yup! No problem.
Livy: ACTION!
(Witty runs towards Johan but the instant he's spotted, Witty turns and runs the opposite direction and leaps into the bushes at the same time Johan fires his arrow)
Thomas: TIME! Animals assemble!
(Everyone assembles except for Witty)
Thomas: Ahem, I said ANIMALS ASSEMBLE!
(Still no Witty)
Livy: WITTY! GET OUT HERE ALREADY!
Witty: (still in the bush) …..I can't...
Thomas: Why the devil not?
Witty: …...I just can't...
(Thomas, Johan and Livy go over and peek in the bushes) OOOOHHH! (wince and groan when they see where the arrow landed)
Thomas: That's gonna leave a scar.
Johan: I'm so sorry! :(
Livy: Were gonna need a bag of ice here...STAT!
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(Later once Witty has recovered from his..."incident")
Livy: Okay, let's go over the roaring scene again
(Meanwhile up in the rafters)
Brainy: (examining a stage light) Hmm...You know Clumsy, I don't think these lights are bright enough. (begins to fiddle with the wires)
Clumsy: Uh I dunno Brainy. They seem smurfy to me.
Brainy: Clumsy, Clumsy, Clumsy, Of coarse they would seem smurfy to you but to a superior intellect like myself I can tell that they need to be just a bit brighter. (continues to mess with the light)
Clumsy: Uh but Brainy, I really don't think you should be doing that.
Brainy: Oh Clumsy. You worry to-(the light suddenly begins to fall) ….much
(down below)
Thomas: Down on all fours please and growl ferousciously. I want you to strike fear into my heart.
Witty: (opens his mouth to roar when suddenly the stage light falls and lands ontop of him)
Livy: (Spots a sheepish Brainy hiding in the rafters with Clumsy) SMURFIT BRAINY! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH THE EQUIPMENT!
(Livy and other stage hands and actors rush to Witty's aid)
Livy: Witty! Witty are you alright speak to me!
Witty: (dazed) Mommy...the turkey is bathing in the toilet again...(passes out)
Later after Witty has recovered
Livy: Come on guys! You gotta get more air if were gonna do this right.
Muscisans : (Continue moaning and groaning)
Livy: I was thinking we could get a rocket and strap it to...(notices Witty approaching) Witty? Your feeling better already?
Witty: (in a familiar Brooklyn accent) Neva felt betta toots.
Livy: Well that's good. I was getting worried. Now we can...wait, did you just call me toots?
Witty: (now wearing white cartoony gloves and munching on a carrot) Ye-up!
Peewit: (approaches) Hey Witty! Glad to see your-
Witty: Uh oh! It's ol' Elmer Fudd! Betta make like a hare and split! (Jumps into the air and uses his rabbit ears to drill a hole in the ground then takes off)
Peewit: Hmm, that's weird. He's acting just like that Bugs Bunny character I was watching on tv earlier...
Livy: (deadly tone) Peewit...what...did...you...do? (flames of fury burn in my eyes)
Peewit: (gulp)
Later on once it was deduced that Witty now thinks he's Bugs Bunny because Peewit was watching Looney Tunes in the same room as him earlier, the cast and crew have cleverly sat up an ingenious plot to capture the wascally wabbit.
Witty: (pops out of a rabbit hole in the ground. He sniffs the air and then spots a fat, juicy carrot sitting on a plate on a nearby stump.) Mmm! Hmm! Looks like it's time for an afternoon snack.
(Witty climbs out of the hole and just as he's about to grab it it moves out of reach)
Witty: Huh? (tries to grab it again but the carrot moves once more. All the while luring him to where we were waiting with a net)
Witty: (still chasing after the carrot) I hoid of fast food but this is getting ridiculous.
(The carrot disappears into some bushes and not a second later, Thomas leaps out and throws a man sized butterfly net over Witty)
Thomas: GOTCHA!
Witty: (dramatically) GASP! You got me! Whatever shall I do?! (pulls out a pair of ACME brand scissors and cuts a rabbit shaped hole in the net and then walks out.)
Thomas: (at a loss for words) But-but the net...you-you...and she...and-and
Witty: (smirking) Face it Doc, ya gotta get up pretty earlier in the morning to fool this rabbit.
WHAM!Witty: (falls forward unconscious revealing Livy holding a frying pan behind him)
Livy: (smugly) I got up at 5 this morning.
Later on again once Witty is now back to normal
Witty: (sees Clumsy and Brainy, the latter of whom looking guilty) Oh hey guys! How's it going?
Brainy: W-well you see...this isn't easy for me to smurf Witty buy-(gets elbowed by Clumsy) I'M REALLY SORRY FOR WHAT I DID TO YOU! (cowers in fear)
Witty:...Ok your forgiven.
Brainy: (surprised) I am?
Witty: Sure. No harm done.
Brainy: (to Clumsy) See I told you he wouldn't mind. After all as Papa Smurf says...
(Witty walks off leaving Brainy to rant. He then turns to Livy and asks)
Witty: Do you have any idea what he's talking about?
Livy: You mean you don't know?
Witty: No
Livy: Brainy was the one who caused the stage-lights to fall on you.
Witty: HE WHAT?!
Livy: Yeah. He was messing with the light and it fell.
Witty: HOW COME I DON'T REMEMBER ANY OF THIS?!
Livy: Well...(Pulls out a remote and a screen lowers itself from the ceiling showing Witty's antics as Bugs Bunny and how we had to capture him)
Witty: (stares at the screen flabbergasted)
Livy: The good news is that I got you back to normal right before the curtain call. Otherwise you would have missed it completely.
Witty: (after a few minutes of staring off into space) (mellow voice) Would you excuse me for a second.
Livy: Sure. I gotta see Tailor for a costume fitting anyway.
(The two part ways and Witty angrily storms over to a door that says "Dressing room for smurfs starring in S.A.S.S." Just as he's about to storm in Clumsy comes out. )
Clumsy: Oh hi Witty! How's it smurfing?
Witty: I'm doing good,
Clumsy: Alright. I'mm gonna get something smurfy to snack on. Brainy's inside if ya wanna talk. Bye!
(Clumsy leaves and Witty enters the room spotting Brainy standing on a vanity and sees Witty;s reflection in the mirror)
Brainy: Witty! How nice to see you. I'm so glad that there are no hard feelings between us about that silly little incident with the lighting fixture
Witty: (nonchalantly) Oh no. I'm not the type to hold a grudge.
Brainy: Heh heh...yeah...
Witty: Nope. The last time someone got me upset I just completely lost it.
Brainy: (nervous) Y-you did?
Witty: Oh yeah! In fact the last person who got me upset ended up...
(Awhile later once Clumsy had his smurfberries and has returned to the dressing room, Clumsy is about to open the door but Witty beats him to it as he's leaving)
Clumsy: Hi again Witty. Did ya have your talk with Brainy?
Witty: Sure did. See you later Clumsy. (leaves)
(Clumsy waves goodbye and enters room spotting Brainy) Hi Brainy!
Brainy: (obviously traumatized, pale, and shaking)
Clumsy: Uh Brainy?...You smurfy?
Brainy: I...I think I smurfed my smurf
Clumsy: ?
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Chapter 5
Livy: Okay Brainy. In this scene your going to use those stick as a poles to vault yourself over to the otherside of the moat and get me those flowers, but it backfires and you almost become a gators lunch instead. Any questions?
Brainy: (nervously looking at the REAL alligators in the moat)(Yes we used REAL gators) Yes, do I have to do this?!
Livy: You'll be perfectly fine. Besides I'm gonna run out and stop the vaulting before anything can go wrong. (pulls out megaphone) A-A-A-A-A-AND ACTION!
Gutsy: Might I offer a bit of advice laddie?
Brainy: I don't take advice from peasants.
Gutsy: Suit yerself.
Brainy: Flower. Kiss. Consmurftration. Flower, kiss consmurftration. (bends the pole and is about to launch off)
Gutsy: Just a question. How're ye gonna get back?
Brainy: (grabs onto the pole using his whole body realizing he didn't think about that part and then launches off but instead of landing ontop of the gators head as he should have...)
Gator: (opens his mighty jaws and eats Brainy)
All: BRAINY!
Animal trainer: No! Bad gator! Spit him out! Spit it out! (smacks the gator with a rolled up newspaper)
Gator: (spits out a now saliva sodden smurf onto the shore)
Brainy: (tries to reconfigure his senses sitting in a daze. As the world stops spinning the first thing his sees is Witty staring down at him)
Brainy: AUGH! OH MY SMURF! THAT GATOR SMURFED ME AND NOW I'VE GONE TO THE BAD PLACE! THE BAD PLACE! (sucks his thumb then crawls in the fetal position.)
Johan: You might want to call in the stunt smurf M'lady.
Livy: Your probably right. TUFFY!
Tuffy: (looks up from the "Mythical Creatures Monthly" magazine he was reading) Oh finally! (grabs a pair of glasses identical to Brainy's and runs up to the set)
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Livy: (singing) Sure as the dawn brings the sunrise, we've an unshakable bond
(Scene switches to Johan running out on the balcony also singing)
Johan: Destined to last for a lifetime and be-WHOA! (slips on a random banana peel and falls off the balcony, landing with a loud crash)
Livy: Johan are you alright?
Johan: I can't feel my legs!
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Chapter 7
Livy: We better think of something quick or were dead ducks.
Gutsy: As de old possum said 'When dares no escape ya hafta play dead." (squishes some berries onto his chest and then falls out of the tree and lands infront of Johan)
Gutsy: Oh ye got me! (cough) Oh cruel fate! Cutting down a smurf in de prime of his life! (cough cough cough) De light! (cough) I-I can see de light! (cough) Grandpa? Is dat you?
Grandpa Smurf: (storms onto stage) What in smurfs name are you talking about youngin?! I'm right here! I ain't even dead yet and your already trying to smurf me on the grave!
Livy: CUT!
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Chapter 9
Livy: Alright everyone here's the layout. Balthazar your going to be really shaking it up and singing. You got your lines and steps memorized?
Balthazar: (sourly) Beats spending time in that cage you keep me locked up in like a common animal, though I still don't see why I can't use actual magic in this scene.
Livy: Because knowing you you'd turn everyone into animals and keep them that way.
Balthazar: (smiles sadistically) But that's the best part!
Livy: Well forget it. As long as those magic rings I slipped on you stay on your as harmless as a kitten.
Balthazar: (looks at the rings in disgust and mutters obscenities under breath)
Livy: (to Hogatha) You know your part right?
Hogatha: (snorts) Dearie please, I'm a born actress! There's no role that I cannot completely master and scene I cannot perfectly execute. All I have to do now is go over my scenes with Lizardy-poo. (snorts and runs off to find him) Ooh Lizardo? Where are you my little love muffin? Come to Hogatha! (snort snort)
Livy: (feels something tug on the bottom of her dress and looks down to see Lizardo hiding under the table)
Lizardo: Shh! If anyone asks I'm not here! (ducks back under the table)
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Balthazar: Cause I'm going back, to that old black magic! (proceeds to pull a rabbit out of his hat but can't)
Livy: CUT! Balthazar what's going on?
Balthazar: (grunts and pulls harder) This blasted rabbit is stuck! (with one last mighty heave, he manages to pull Witty's head out of the hat)
Witty: Are you SURE there isn't an easier way of doing this?
Livy: Hey your the one who signed up to be Wesley. Not me. Now get back in there and we'll take it from the top...and you might wanna consider cutting back on the buffet.
Witty: (grumbles and squeezes back into hat)
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Balthazar: A lying, loathesome, never tender, indiscreet repeat offender. No more Mr. Nice Guy that's not me! (throws Lizardo onto the chandillier)
Livy: CUT! Perfect! Everyone did great!
Lizardo: (hanging from the chandilier) Get me down from here!
Hogatha: (snort snort) I'll get you down Lizardy-poo!
Lizardo: 0_0; On second thought I like it up here. It's got a nice view.
Livy: Alright so the next scene is-
Witty: Uh, a little help here?
(Scene shows Witty struggling to free the the lower half of his body which is still stuck in the hat)
Livy: (sigh) Oh Witty...
(Half an hour later, everyone had formed two human chains and are trying to free Witty)
Livy: (holding Witty's hands) Alright. One the count of three. One, two-
Peewit: (standing behind Thomas whose holding the hat) Hold on, are we pulling on three? Or one, two three pull and pull on pull? Or are we-
Livy: PULL!
(Everyone starts pulling basically having a tug-o-war with Witty)
Witty: Ow! Hey! Stop it! Your gonna rip me in two! STOP!
(We stop)
Livy: Well how are we supposed to get you out?
Thomas: I could borrow Jo's chainsaw.
Witty: (turns pale) 0.0;
Livy: No chainsaws!
Thomas: Well what do you suggest then?
(Five minutes later were lathering Witty down with butter)
Witty: This is humiliating. X(
Livy: I told you to cut back on the buffet but did you listen? Nooo.
Witty: (glares at her)
Livy: Alright that should do it. Let's try this again.
(Just like before the cast forms two chains and pulls and Witty easily slides out of the hat sending everyone flying backward)
Witty: I'm free! Thanks guys...why's the floor so lumpy?
Livy: (voice muffled) Witty...get...off!
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Chapter 10
Johan: (making his vow) Kings and Queens...Ladies and Gentlemen...Father. I have an announcement to make. Today I have found my bride. I present her to you as the future queen of our fair kingdom. And as proof of my love for her I make a vow to end all vows. A vow stronger than all the powers on earth. I make a vow of everlasting lo-
Cell phone: I'm bringing sexy back yeah! Those other boys don't know how to act. Dirty babe you see the shackles and I'm your slave. Get your sexy on! Go ahead be done with it. I'll let you whip me if I misbehave
(Awkward silence and Johan turns bright blood red)
Livy:(as a swan) Seriously Johan? Sexy back?
Johan: I-I-i, um...
Peewit: (busts out laughing) Now we know the REAL reason why you made that vow! XD (gets hit with a random brick)
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Johan: Don't let her die!
Balthazar: Is that a threat?
Johan: Don't you DARE let her die!
Balthazar: Oh! It is a threat.
Johan: Your the only one with the power. Now do it!
Balthazar: Only if you, defeat me!
(Transforms himself into...)
Balthazar: What the?! A bunny?!
Livy:(Gets up from being dead) CUT! Balthazar! Your supposed to turn into the Fat Animal
Johan: You mean Great Animal.
Livy: -_- GREAT Animal. No where in the script does it say your supposed to turn into a bunny.
Balthazar: Like I would really do this to myself. I am the great and mighty Balthazar! Just the mere mention of my name strikes fear into the hearts of the bravest men. Warriors cower at my power! I am-
Livy: Yeah, yeah yeah Great and powerful blah, blah blah. Heard it all before. (picks up the potion vial that was dumped on Balthazar t transform him into the Great Animal) Oh no wonder your a bunny. I forgot to label these.
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(The blue flowers spring up from the ground and bloom revealing the smurfs)
Smurfette: What...what happened Papa Smurf?
Papa: I-I'm not sure Smurfette...
Brainy Gutsy and Lazy: P-Papa?
Papa: My little smurfs!
Brainy Gutsy and Lazy: PAPA!
All smurfs: BRAINY! GUTSY! LAZY!
(the smurfs run and hug each other, crying tears of joy...all except one)
Jokey: (stuck inside his flower which didn't open)(bangs around inside) Hey! What's the big idea?! Let me outta here! I'm stuck! Help! Help! Papa Smurf! This is not funny! No funny at all! GET ME OUTTA HERE!
And that's all for ya! As you can see it's a lot of dangerous work that goes into making a parody. We eventually had to put 911 on speed dial. But it was worth it. We do it all for you amazing readers.
See ya'll later. Bye!