Disclaimer: Don't own anything; if I did I wouldn't be sat around writing this... ;)

Warning: Established Johnlock, lots of fluff. Don't like don't read

Chapter 1:

It began like any other evening at 221b. Sherlock transfixed by one of his latest experiments that lay under his microscope, and John sat in his arm chair reading his book for what must have been the fifth time, Sherlock had pointed out as he had picked it up. Although he wasn't really reading it, if he was then he wouldn't have been reading the same page for the last half an hour.
"Are you hungry? I was thinking of ordering Chinese." John called to the kitchen where his lover was working.
"Mmmhm" came the incoherent reply, John knew that there was not much point in asking Sherlock anything while he was doing an experiment, but he couldn't remember the last time he had seen his boyfriend eat, and he was looking paler than usual.
"I'm getting you some anyway, and you are GOING to eat it." John heard a very faint chuckle from the kitchen as he rang the take out place down the road.

He could have just let them deliver it, but he needed to get out of the flat in order to rearrange his thought so that he didn't give anything away. Of course it is technically impossible to hide anything from your partner, the world's only consulting detective, but he had to stop it being obvious. All of his emotions were in hyper drive, excited, nervous, happy, and terrified. If I feel anything else I might explode, John thought to himself as he went to get his coat.
"I'm going to pick up the food, won't be long." John called. No answer but he knew Sherlock heard him. Out on the street, John breathed a sigh of relief that Sherlock didn't seem to have noticed his odd behaviour owing to the fact that whatever was under his microscope was much more interesting than the outside world.

Meanwhile, back in the flat, Sherlock rose from his position at the microscope and bounded his way to the window that overlooks the street and watches John walk slowly towards the take out. He notes that this is unusual as John still has the old brisk army pace that was instilled in him years before. He is stalling for time, Sherlock concludes, but why? As he makes his way over to the armchair that his partner previously occupied, he confirms his suspicions about Johns' book. He hadn't turned a page in at least twenty minutes, he thought Sherlock hadn't noticed. But of course I had, he thought to himself, I notice everything.
Sherlock allows himself a moment of self admiration before knitting his brow in concentration at the problem in hand. What was different about today that had John so on edge? No matter how much he racked his not so inconsiderable brain, he could think of nothing. Clearly this required further investigation, the form of which presented itself sooner than expected as Sherlock heard John return with the food. Quickly, Sherlock repositioned himself at his microscope and pretended to be engrossed in it once again.

John shrugged off his coat and shoes in the hallway and began to make his way upstairs. As he reached the landing, he noted only the small sound of pencil on paper and the slight shift of a chair on the floor as Sherlock made himself more comfortable. He almost let out a nervous giggle of relief that his lover hadn't seemed to notice anything amiss. Rounding the corner into the kitchen he set the bag down on the only available space on the table that wasn't occupied by various papers, books, or assorted chemicals, and begun hunting for some plates that weren't covered in hazardous substances.
After around five minutes of searching gingerly amongst the half completed experiments, John found probably the only two clean plates in the apartment but washes them anyway, just in case, and began emptying the plastic containers of their contents. Two plates in hand, he made his way past Sherlock into the living room where he settled himself on the sofa and turned on the telly. "Sherlock, come in here and eat your dinner. " John chuckled to himself at the passing though that he probably sounded like his mother. There was a brief sigh as Sherlock detached himself from his experiment and slunk over, planting himself next to John on the sofa and began to pick at his food.

They ate in companionable silence while the TV droned on in the background. Involuntarily, Johns' mind began to race once again. Almost as if Sherlock's' presence had reawakened his anxiety. Come on Watson, John silently reprimanded himself, you were in Afghanistan, this should be a walk in the park. With that he set his food down for fear of accidentally throwing it on the floor.
Sherlock had noticed Johns' unusual behaviour as soon as he sat down but had elected to observe and gather data, rather than face the issue head on. John had told him once that he should first try to understand what was wrong with someone instead of just asking them, that it was the more considerate thing to do. Normally he wouldn't have bothered, but this was John, he was always the exception.

When his partner set down his plate, Sherlock knew that whatever was bothering him must be getting worse so he decided to try to help. Carefully he put his plate on the coffee table next to Johns and turned to his lover. "John, is there something bothering you?" Sherlock inquired innocently. As he looked into his Hazel eyes he saw the emotions swirling around in a whirlpool of confusion.
"You can tell me you know" he continued reassuringly

This was almost the last straw for John, he could feel his self control melting away under the gaze of those silver orbs. But he had to do it. It was the one thing that he had been most sure of in his entire life, but it was also the most difficult. Not thinking that he could withstand Sherlock's gaze any longer, he stood quickly saying " I'm scared, Sherlock. " as he began pacing the room before coming to a halt and staring out the window.
Now Sherlock was completely confused, but he knew that he had to comfort his lover, get him to open up and share his feelings. He strode across the room to where John now stood, snaking his arms around Johns waist. He felt the slight flinch at the touch, before John relaxed into his arms. "What are you scared of. "He asked softly. John turned slightly so that he could see Sherlock's face "Of losing you. "He said in a whisper. With that Sherlock turned him so that they were face to face, enfolding John in his long arms, nuzzling his face into the sandy coloured hair. "You will never lose me John, I'm not going anywhere." Sherlock pulled back so that he could see into his boyfriend's eyes and planted a soft kiss on his forehead. "I know that really, it's silly of me to worry," John paused collecting his thoughts "I love you Sherlock, so much that the thought of losing you physically hurts. You are the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with. "
" I love you too John, you know that. I will stay by your side for as long as you'll have me. "Sherlock said, a warm smile spreading across his face.

Oh how John loved it when Sherlock smiled, especially like this. So honest and warm, he never really showed his feelings so it was moments like this that he would always treasure. Come on, John thought to him, just do it you coward!
"Sherlock," he began pulling out of the embrace slightly so he had room to move "I will always have you, until the end of my days. I have wanted you by my side since the day we met and you turned my whole life upside-down " John chuckled slightly " You are the most beautiful, brilliant and perfect human being I have ever met, and I can't believe how lucky I am that you are in my life "
Sherlock watched as John stood back slightly, the look of absolute joy covering his face. He could hardly believe that anyone could love him like this, but it wasn't just anyone. It was John, his John. The man who had stood by him as his friend and now lover for almost two years now.

"There is no one else in the world that I would rather be with." Taking Sherlock's hand is his, John fumbles in his pocket for a moment before sinking down on one knee. "Sherlock Holmes, I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my entire life. So there's only one more thing I have to say," raising his other hand, John reveals a simple silver band between his thumb and first finger," Sherlock, Will you marry me? "