Ramble On...

"So you're...the ghost of Robert Plant?" asked Dipper Pines, staring at the currently floating, transparent British man with a combination of confusion and curiosity.

"You got it, love." responded Plant.

"But, Robert Plant's not dead yet, is he? I mean, how are you the ghost of-" started Dipper, only to be interrupted by Robert Plant.

"Okay, yeah, fine. I'm an astral projection or whatever. Is that good enough for you?" snapped Plant.

"Uh, yeah, I guess. Anyway, why are you even here?" asked Dipper.

"I seek out those in need of my help in matters of love, and help them." answered Plant, "It's not always a stupendously interesting way to spend my time, but seeing as I'm not doing anything else with my days as of late, I figured I might be of some use to the world in any way I can. So, more to the point, I am here because I sensed that you needed my help in girl-related matters. What's her name, Dipper?"

"Her name's- hey, wait, you 'sensed' that I needed help? How exactly are you able to 'sense' things like that I like some girl? Also, how exactly did you know my name?" inquired Dipper.

"Because of my magic Robert Plant powers," Plant quipped sarcastically, "now are you going to tell me this girl's name or not?"

"I-it's Wendy."

"Wendy." said Plant, the name rolling off his transparent, astral-projected tongue like a note from a harpsichord, "Alright now, Dipper. All you need to do to win this girl's heart is sing her an old blues song, the older the better."

"Really? That's all?"

"It always worked for me. Also, as a general rule, the more 'babys' and 'ooh yeahs' the song has, the easier it'll be to charm the pants off your girl of choice."

"Why...why would I want to charm her pants off?"

"You'll learn that when you're older, love, but for now, I must be off. ROBERT PLANT AWAAAAAY!"

With that, Robert flew through the roof of the Mystery Shack, leaving Dipper to contemplate his words.

"Hey, Wendy." announced Dipper as he strolled into the Mystery Shack's gift shop.

"Oh, hey Dipper." said Wendy, "What's up?"

Upon being greeted by Wendy, Dipper stuck his hand into his shirt pocket, pulled out a folded piece of paper, unfolded it, and, before Wendy could question him as to why he was doing any of this, began to sing.

"Baby, please don't go

Baby, please don't go

Baby, please don't go down to New Orleans.

Ohhh baby, you know I love you so."

Wendy looked confused. Dipper continued singing.

"Before I be your dog

Before I be your dog

Before I be your dog

I'd get you way out here, and let you walk alone."

At this point, Wendy's previous confusion had turned to amusment. She began giggling uncontrollably, causing Dipper to stop singing.

"That was great, Dipper." gasped Wendy, finally managing to cease giggling long enough to speak, "Who told you to do that? Was it that Ghost of Robert Plant guy?"

"Yeah, how did you know?" asked Dipper.

"He's been hanging around here for about a week, telling people to go sing old blues songs at other people. In fact, he's here right now." said Wendy, pointing towards one corner of the shop, where the the Ghost of Robert Plant was indeed floating about unassumingly. As Dipper looked at him, Plant shot him a thumbs up and mouthed "Good work, love!"

"Thanks for that, Dipper. That was the best thing I've seen all week." said Wendy.

At this comment, Dipper's face lit up. Seeing his reaction, Wendy acted quickly.

"Uh, hey, there's been no one in today. You wanna hang out with me here at the register? We can talk about blues and stuff with that Robert Plant guy"

"Do I!" exclaimed Dipper.

This, Dipper thought, is the best day of my life.