Here's my entry for Gamma Orionis's fic exchange on The Dark Lord's Most Faithful forum! I was supposed to write for Amazon Star, whose preferences went as following:

Favourite Pairings: Bellamort, unrequited Belladolphus, Lucissa, Draco/Astoria, Bellatrix/Barty Crouch Jr mentor/protégé relationship. Non-romantic: Draco/Bellatrix, Black sisters.

Prompts (optional): Florence and the Machine lyrics, Evanescence lyrics.

"Hey girl, is he everything you wanted in a man? You know I gave you the world,you had me in the palm of your why your love went away? I just can't seem to understand."

"They say if you hate something you should slam the door in its face."

"Only a masochist could ever love such a narcissist."

"Don't let anyone tell you you're not powerful. You're the most powerful woman I know."

"You were the lightest thing that ever came into my life."

Likes: Canon compatible, angst, passion.

Dislikes: Lucissa being destroyed by affairs, abuse, Bellatrix with anyone except Voldemort or Rodolphus, incest.

I picked Bellamort from her list of favourite pairings (I hope it's Bellamort enough… the metaphor plays with it all the way through, but it only really comes at the end) and I was inspired by Going Under by Evanescence and What The Water Gave Me by Florence and the Machine, though the end result isn't quite like either of the songs. I hope you like it, Julia! :)


She dreamt of the sea, pulling her under, the smell of it so powerful it left her gagging and suffocating.

Bellatrix had never feared the sea before. She had seen it several times, stood on the shore and surveyed the immensity, the stormy, capricious depths, flowing back and forth relentlessly – with cyclic, eternal power. She had felt respect, deep within her heart, which did not happen that often. And then she had turned away, the crushing sound of the waves still echoing in her ears.

When they'd taken her to Azkaban, the sea hadn't been a threat. It'd been tumultuous and unbounded, wrathful, and so she had felt, despite the shackles at her wrists and the sharp sound of her wand snapping in two, playing over and over in her head. Even when on the island, the sea had symbolized escape, though a deadly one. Its icy winds chilled her to the bone, the pain, the numbness, the never-ending shaking demanding her attention, if only for a moment; its faraway clamour filled her haunted, unhinged mind, drowning out all other thought, just endlessly crashing over her helplessness, enormous and smothering. She longed to run to the shore, to dive into the waves, and yet she could scarcely move a limb. Dark waters closed over her head.

But it remained with her, after she'd broken out. The calling, the roaring of the sea, reigning in her nightmares, knocking her breathless. It was deep and dark, a fearsome presence engrained into the core of her, claiming her, owning her. It was strong and smothering, cold and encroaching, and it distorted her whole perception of reality. Choking, struggling against the currents that pulled her always further down… She didn't understand.

"Sleeping badly, Bella?" he asked her, and she could not confess her shameful weakness, the suffocating terror that kept her alert and on a blade's edge all through the night. Bellatrix bowed her head, and only glanced at him from the corner of her eye. Tall, strong, imposing – his skin glowing a cold, eerie whiteness in the half-light, his eyes standing out like blazing infernos.

"I was only feeling restless, my Lord," she whispered in response.

"Come now, Bella," he breathed, "surely Azkaban would not have taught you to lie to your master?"

She shuddered slightly, and he took a step closer. The crashing of the waves, the coldness and the vast, merciless power, they were just there, in the shadows underneath her eyelids, waiting for the overflow. She tried to answer, but she could not find air to speak. Her lungs screamed in terror.

"Embrace it," he said in her ear. He was so very close now, his breath cool against her cheek. She blinked, confused, and sent him a brief, pleading glance.

"The fear," he continued. His low, icy voice carried the words smoothly and swiftly, a cold wind brushing her face, cleaning her head somehow. "Do not fight back. Let the darkness wash over you, and move along with it. Pull your strength from it."

Bellatrix breathed deeply, her heart hammering. Unthinkingly, she leaned a little against her master's frame, standing so close. A shadow of a smirk stretched his thin lips. She tried to give in to the fear, to surrender control.

Something shifted.

Her body touched the coldness of his, and the call slowly moved with her, towards him. Her perceptions of the world adjusted until the faded grey colours and blurry shapes had found their sharp edges again, and he stood at the centre of everything. He was the sea and the fire and the magic still raw and alive in her veins, and the power that claimed her was his, entirely his. She surrendered to it.

Ignoring every last feeble warning of her subconscious, Bellatrix recklessly leaned closer still to the Dark Lord, until his low heartbeat under her cheek drowned out the sound of waves within her mind. He allowed her, watching with clinical attention as his most faithful servant forgot every notion of self-interest, all over again. He was not planning to burn her, should she come too near.

He had to keep her close enough, after all, to take her under. And he smiled as he kissed the breath from her lungs.