The five times the Avengers found out that Tony had a son and the one time Blaine Anderson found out his dad was that Tony Stark.

[Steve]

"You better tell me about this boy, especially if you made up some story about practicing for some fair or mall show," Tony scolded into his StarkPhone, wagging his finger at absolutely nothing. After a pause, he grunted and nodded. "Fine, fine, I'll talk to you later. Bye, kid."

"Who was that?" The voice nearly startled Tony out of his chair, but he hid it by jumping up and grinning at Steve.

"Oh, right, just Blaine." He shrugged, tossing his phone onto his work bench and shoving his tongue between his lips when he went back to examining the calculations JARVIS had up and waiting for him.

"Who's Blaine?" Cap asked slowly, frowning as if he was missing a chunk of conversation.

"Ah, you see," Tony hesitated, pretending to be focused on his work as he thought around, trying to find a good lie. Then he gave in and turned back around to the captain, all flamboyancy shoved to the front in the hopes of making it a casual admission. "He's my son."

Steve stayed silent, waiting for someone to pop out of the woodwork (or ceiling, in Clint's case) and shout that it was opposite day or something strange. It had to be a joke; he was Tony Stark, Iron Man! Everyone would know if he had a son, right? When Tony didn't start laughing, just kept look at him expectantly, Steve's eyes went comically wide.

"What?" He asked slowly, frowning. "You don't have a son. I'd have heard about it by now, wouldn't I?"

Completely confused and not getting any help from his teammate, Cap turned on his heel and stared around the workshop like there would be a child standing behind him or a pile of toys in the corner.

"Naw," Tony chuckled, scrubbing a grease-stained hand through his hair, sending half of it sticking up in random directions. "Kid lives with his mom in Ohio. I haven't even seen him since before this." He noted, tapping at the blue glow through his Metallica shirt.

"That's insane, Tony, you should see your son-" Steve started, gaping at his fellow Avenger and crossing his arms over his broad chest, as if that would make it happen (like Tony ever listened to Cap's demands in the first place).

"His mother hates me, Steve," Tony interrupted with a sharp laugh and a roll of his eyes. "It's really not that simple. But, hey, don't go getting those puppy dog eyes! Kid is coming over for Christmas this year, so you'll all get to meet the mystery child."

Before Steve could protest or ask any questions that involved far too many emotions that Tony wasn't sure even existed in his body, Tony rushed him out of the room, insisting he needed silence to work on his projects. A lie which he ruined the very next minute, when he began blasting America through the room.

Steve didn't bring up the subject again, afraid that he'd go deaf from trying to talk over the throbbing of the music.

A/N - They're all going to be fairly short like this, and I'll probably post the rest tonight (or as soon as they're finished). Favorite/review pretty pleeeease.