The days passed in a blur of sex and laughter and joy.

Jane couldn't remember a time in her life when she'd been so happy.

Or even that she thought such happiness could exist.

If someone had told her weeks ago that this feeling existed, this thing she could feel pulsing through her like a second heartbeat, she would have laughed.

Would have called them crazy.

But now…

Suddenly things made sense.

Maura was warm and hilarious and intelligent and quirky. Every moment with her felt like something new, something free and light and perfect.

By unspoken agreement they avoided going out in public. Jane told herself she didn't mind, that she understood Maura's need to avoid a scandal, but at the back of her brain it festered.

She wanted to be able to take Maura out. To date her and romance her properly. To get dressed up and enjoy her by candlelight.

Hell, even just to go see a movie.

But she knew Maura couldn't afford to be seen in public with her.

And that hurt emotionally, even while she acknowledged and understood the reasons intellectually.

«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»

Three weeks after their run in with Constance, Maura had an ultrasound appointment.

"I could go with you," Jane suggested. "If you want."

Maura looked up with dark eyes, her face a tangled mire of things Jane couldn't decipher.

She nodded, swallowing harshly.

"Yes," she whispered raggedly. Cleared her throat and tried again. "Yes, I'd like that very much."

Jane pressed a soft kiss to Maura's forehead.

«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»«»

They drove to Maura's doctor in relative silence. Halfway there, Maura grabbed Jane's hand and clutched it tightly.

Jane's brow furrowed and she looked over at her girlfriend.

"You ok?" she asked.

Maura nodded, her gaze fixed absently out the window. She didn't reply.

"Maura," Jane prodded gently. "Everything is going to be fine. It's just a check-up. You're doing everything right."

Maura nodded, still silent.

"It doesn't bother you?" she asked finally.

Jane waited for Maura to elaborate. She didn't have to wait long.

"I was married," she whispered. "I'm pregnant. I've got more baggage than Chanel."

"Maura," Jane's voice was firm, clear. "Look at me." She waited for Maura to look over before taking her eyes off the road, holding her gaze for a second. Her voice was certain, no room for doubt.

"I love you."

Maura squeezed Jane's hand.

"I love you too," she replied.

"Now," Jane exhaled. "Let's focus on Amelia and after your appointment we'll go back to your house and have lunch and maybe take a walk. Ok?"

"We could go out," Maura whispered.

Jane's eyes widened, her mouth falling open.

She floundered for a moment, trying to make her voice work.

"What?" she practically squeaked. She waited a beat. Her voice was soft, serious when she spoke again. "You don't mean that."

Maura licked her lips, pulled her hand away.

Jane felt it like a slap to the face.

"Do you not want to be seen with me?" Maura asked softly.

"What?" Jane stammered, grabbing Maura's hand. The car swerved slightly and Jane tried to focus. "No! That's not it at all. But you're news, Maura, and you're starting to show, and I don't want to make your life harder."

"But you make my life so easy," Maura replied. "And I was thinking it might not be so bad if everyone in the world knew that. If they knew that I loved you."

"Maura when the time is right I'll shout it from the fucking rooftops," Jane offered. "But I'm not sure the time is right. One thing at a time, you know? Colin told me you're announcing the pregnancy this week. People are going to be all over you for interviews and pictures and stuff. I don't want to… get in the way of that."

"I want you to take the photos," Maura told her.

Jane swallowed her surprise.

"What?"

"We're going to release an official statement," Maura replied softly. "Probably some photos, to try to keep the press from prying too much. I'd like it if you would take the pictures."

"That's a little out of my league," Jane suggested.

"You're a very talented photographer," Maura's thumb rasped against Jane's knuckles. "And I trust you. Please tell me you'll think about it."

"I don't have to think about it," Jane responded. "If you want me to do it then I will."

"Thank you," Maura whispered.

"Don't thank me until you see the photos," Jane laughed.

Maura was silent for a beat.

"I mean for everything," she offered. "You make me feel real."

Jane wanted to ask what that meant but they pulled into a parking space and Maura's hand tightened almost painfully around hers.

"Hey," Jane coaxed, turning to put her other palm against Maura's cheek. She found Maura's gaze, offered her a small smile. "I'm sure everything is fine."

Maura nodded.

Jane began to pull back and was startled when Maura pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

"Come on," Jane swallowed. "We don't want to keep little Amelia waiting. Time to have her picture taken for once."

Maura smiled and let Jane exit the jeep.

Jane was surprised that they didn't have to wait at all before Maura's doctor saw them. Then she realized that Maura was rich and famous. She probably didn't have to wait for anything.

As soon as Maura had changed into a hospital gown that probably cost more than what Jane was wearing, the doctor knocked.

The kindly woman with shockingly white hair and easy eyes put Jane instantly at ease. She could see why Maura picked her.

They made idle small talk for a moment and then the doctor inquired after Maura's general health, whether she had any concerns.

Maura answered the questions. Fidgeted. Glanced nervously at Jane.

"Well let's take a look, shall we?" the doctor suggested brightly. Jane stood to leave but Maura gripped her wrist with an intensity that was painful.

Stay, her eyes pleaded, though her lips were immobile.

Jane removed Maura's vice-grip with her opposite hand, lacing their fingers together and sitting back down.

The next moments mixed together and then Jane couldn't see through the strange blur across her eyes.

Amelia.

Jane realized she'd whispered the name out loud and she flushed. Maura seemed equally transfixed by the little peanut shaped life on the screen in front of them.

"Looks great," the doctor assured them. "Have you thought about names if it's a boy?"

Maura looked startled at the possibility.

"No," she whispered. "It… as silly as this sounds it hadn't really occurred to me that it might be a boy."

"With the way the baby is turned right now I can't say for sure what the sex is," the doctor admitted. "So you might want to consider a name for either. We'll be able to tell at your next ultrasound."

Jane couldn't believe the elation she felt looking at the ultrasound screen with Maura's hand tightly clutching hers.

She tried to ground herself.

To remember that this wasn't her baby.

Not hers.

But it was difficult.

Maura felt like family, the love of her life, and she would always consider any part of Maura to be a part of herself now.

Amelia, or little boy Isles, would always mean something to Jane.

She didn't hear much of the rest of the discussion, too wrapped up in thoughts about her role in Maura's life.

She started to worry.

What, exactly, would her role be?

She couldn't just be Maura's secret girlfriend forever. And when the baby was born and Maura needed help, would Jane have to watch someone else lend a hand because Maura couldn't risk the exposure of a lesbian "scandal" or some other such Hollywood nonsense?

Would Constance follow through on her threats?

Jane shuddered at the thought.

Maura looked up, brow furrowed.

"Jane?" she asked, worry in every line on her face.

Jane suddenly realized they were alone in the exam room.

"Sorry," she croaked, wetting her lips. "I guess I spaced out there for a minute."

"Are you alright?" Maura asked, not buying the excuse.

Jane felt horribly selfish. She was supposed to be there comforting and supporting Maura.

"I'm fine," she forced a smile. "How're you feeling? I told you everything was fine."

"I'm relieved," Maura admitted. "The early stages of a pregnancy can be some of the most volatile for the baby so I'm glad to know she, or he, is ok."

"Everything is great," Jane smiled. "Let's get out of here and I'll get you some lunch."

Maura peered intensely at Jane for a beat longer, clearly debating, and then nodded.

"Ok," she agreed. "I am a little hungry."

They decided to pick up Thai food on the way home, calling ahead from the car. Jane pulled the Jeep over against the curb.

"Be right back," she said, hopping out before Maura could offer, yet again, to pay.

Inside, she waited for a crowd of customers to clear the area in front of the pick-up counter.

"Jane?"

Jane froze. She'd know that voice anywhere.

"Amy," she turned, plastering on a smile. "How are you?"

She accepted an awkward hug, trying not to flinch.

Amy smelled exactly the same, like coffee and cinnamon and something deeper, oaky. For a fleeting second, Jane didn't want to let go.

She had thought about what she'd do when she saw Amy again, had wondered how she would react.

It hurt, but not quite like she expected.

Amy had broken her heart, betrayed her trust, given up on Jane.

Jane didn't think Amy even had any idea how badly she had hurt Jane. And it wasn't entirely her fault- before Maura, Jane hadn't been able to tell people how she felt about them. Hadn't been able to make that freefalling leap into love.

Jane felt Amy's eyes travel over her.

"You look good," Amy said. "Still cooking up a storm too, I see."

The light teasing in her voice made Jane's jaw twitch. Amy didn't have any right to act like everything was fine between them. She didn't have the right to tease or joke or look so good.

"You know me," Jane smiled grimly. "Never was much in the kitchen."

"I wouldn't say that," Amy's smiled turned sexual. "Maybe we could grab a drink tonight."

"I can't," Jane felt her insides flip. "But thanks."

Amy put a firm hand on Jane's forearm.

"Come on," she urged throatily. "Just one."

"I believe she has other plans," Maura interrupted.

Jane and Amy turned to see Maura standing just inside the door. Amy's hand didn't move off Jane's arm, her claim clear.

"And who are you?" Amy snorted.

"Her girlfriend," Maura challenged.

Maura stepped up next to Jane and put a possessive hand around her waist. Jane bit back a grin.

Amy's brow furrowed momentarily, her confidence faltering.

Jane slung an arm over Maura's shoulders. Maura turned pointedly to Jane.

"Take me home," she ordered, her voice dripping with possessive desire.

"Who am I to deny the lady what she wants?" Jane laughed, breathing a sigh of relief when their name was called.

Jane stepped aside to grab the take-out and Maura went back out to the jeep.

Amy watched Maura go and then looked back to Jane, confusion on her face.

"Was that Maura Isles?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah," Jane nodded. "I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't say anything…"

"No," Amy shook her head. "I wouldn't do that."

"Right," Jane swallowed. "Well… I'm gonna go. Don't want to keep her waiting any longer. It was good to see you."

Amy didn't reply.

In the jeep, Maura was wringing her hands.

"I'm sorry," Jane blurted when she closed the door, handing the food to Maura. "That was… my ex, Amy."

Maura didn't respond.

"We broke up a few weeks before I met you," Jane added, feeling increasingly nervous as Maura's silence stretched out. "It was kinda serious."

"She's very beautiful," Maura breathed.

"I guess," Jane shrugged. "Nothing compared to you."

"Thank you," Maura brushed off the compliment. "I shouldn't have done that."

"Done what?"

"Interrupted like that," Maura explained, flushing. "You were just gone for so long and then when I got inside she was touching you and I… I don't know what came over me."

Jane grinned.

"You were jealous?"

"No!" Maura exclaimed. "Well, yes, I suppose I was."

"You," Jane reached over and put a hand against Maura's cheek, punctuating each word with a chaste kiss. "Have nothing. To be. Jealous about."

Maura softened under Jane's touch. She didn't open her eyes.

"I know," she whispered. "I realized I was being ridiculous but I just couldn't seem to stop myself. You make me crazy."

"I love you," Jane said. "Just you."

"Did you love her?" Maura asked, pulling back. Then immediately recanted. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that."

"No, it's ok," Jane licked her lips nervously. "I was in love with her. But she… I never really told her. I didn't know how, didn't trust her I guess."

"I'm sorry," Maura replied. She grazed Jane's arm with a soft hand.

"It was nothing like this," Jane added. "Nothing like us."

"I love you too," Maura rasped. She captured Jane's lips in a heated kiss. When she pulled back, she rested their foreheads together, their breathing ragged. "Now how many times do I have to ask you to take me home before you get it?"

"Your wish is my command," Jane laughed, pointing the jeep in the direction of Maura's house.