As promised, in July a new story showed up. This one had been baking in my mental oven for a long, long time. It won't be usual, but I still hope you will like it. I will ramble more at the end, I feel like I'll give away too much if I say things here. This chapter sort of presents things so any more explanations are not really needed.

A big thank you to my Beta MusicWritesMyLife that offered to help me with the flow of this story. For once I have a Beta from chapter 1 and I'll be forever grateful.

Song for the title is Slow Show by The National. Song for the chapter is City Of Blinding Lights by U2.

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or anything that will appear in this story, I'm just borrowing them for entertainment. References to living and breathing people are casual and you shouldn't read much into it. Personal experience my pop in here and there, but when it doesn't?

I Missed You For Twenty-Nine Years

Chapter 1 – The City Of Blinding Lights

Meredith Grey was proud of herself.

Leaving Boston behind had been a relief, more because her mother remained behind rather than leaving the city per se. She had come to like Boston in the seventeen years she had lived there.

Moving from Seattle at the age of five didn't shocked her as much as it could have; the fact that her father left her completely alone with an uncaring mother, that had been the problem.

She had basically finished college and she needed some time to think. She had enrolled in Pre Med to become a surgeon, she excelled in it, but she needed time to think if that was what she really wanted to do for the rest of her life.

She liked helping people, she liked surgery or at least she had grown accustomed to it, since she had lived in the hospital practically more than in her own house. She was used to being alone too and the fact that surgeons had crappy, lonely lives didn't scared her. She knew it was better being alone than having a kid and neglecting him or her.

She had never believed in happily ever afters either.

She didn't have many friends in college, she partied, but she never had someone she would tell every story to, she was a private person. She had party friends, one night stands and tequila. José Cuervo was her best friend.

Meredith looked around herself right outside the Grand Central Station, New York, drinking in the sight.

She had grabbed a few of her mother's credit cards, packed a backpack and just left. She had always wanted to have a backpacking tour of Europe and her friend Sadie offered excitedly to go with her, only to ditch her a few days before the departure from Boston.

She didn't cancel her ticket to Rome though.

Despite having tons of money in her mother's account, she still had college fees and maybe Med School to pay, so she decided to not waste away anything and flying from LaGuardia was still a lot cheaper than from Boston, so she hopped on a train with her backpack and there she was, New York City, the infamous Big Apple.

She didn't know New York that well and she had ten hours to spare before her flight. She decided to grab a coffee and stroll around for a while, feel the new-found freedom and independence.

She walked aimlessly, looking around and taking in every little detail. She was used to seeing things alone and it didn't make them any less exciting.

Her life had been so full of downs that she never expected the ups to come around. She was surviving and if surviving meant taking a summer off to visit Europe before graduating from college, she was really open to the alternative.

Sadie had planned the trip with her, but at the last moment she realized that she was behind with exams and she needed to catch up. Meredith instead left Dartmouth without any regret. Honestly, she wasn't leaving anything in New England, except for her studies.

Her phone rang and she groaned when she read the ID.

"Meredith, where on Earth are you?" her mother's raging voice reached her ear even before she could bring the phone to her ear.

"I'm in New York, Mother," she said smugly, like it was the most normal thing to say to your mother.

"What the...Why are you there, miss?"

"I told you, I'm going to Europe for a while."

"Oh, that's news to me."

"It's not my fault the only things you remember are surgeries!" she bit back and she could already imagine her mother's reaction.

She was sick of pretending to be okay with the way her mother treated her, she was sick of being different, of not having a father and she just wanted to be. Live freely, for a little while. There wasn't a day in Dartmouth that she wasn't reminded what a good surgeon her mother is and she needed -physically, mentally, socially- to leave all that behind.

She was tired of being a shadow.

"I don't want you to talk to me like that ever again, Meredith Elizabeth!"

"I don't care what you want anymore, Mom. I really don't! I need time to be by myself, okay? Make my own damn decisions for once!" her voice rose, before she could disconnect the call and grunt.

Her eyes closed and she sighed, trying to calm her rage, her face lifting up to the sky.

When she reopened her eyes, she was fenced between the skyscrapers, almost like a trap closing around her, the blue, cloudless sky just a tiny square, stretching far away from her.

She just needed some time to think and live.

Could she have that?

Derek Shepherd was tired.

Each bone in his body ached, even his stapes. Being a first year resident sucked the little life left in him from his internship. Which was basically nothing. No social life, no new friends, no time for family. He was a wreck.

A dumped wreck.

He loved being a surgeon, he finally felt like all the years he had spent studying instead of partying were worth something. But then, something was missing. And it surely wasn't Rose.

He knew he had been distant because of work, but going from an engagement to being left at the altar while his whole family witnessed it was another story entirely. It was cheap and humiliating and so typical of Rose that he had no idea how did the get there in the first place. Maybe his mind had been clouded with too much caffeine and too little sleep.

When he finally found himself at the airport he sighed in relief.

He needed the break, he had some time off and the best change of scenery had been offered by his sister Amelia, who was currently studying Architecture in Rome and was apparently having a blast there. She was also the only one who couldn't be there for that shame of non-wedding and for once he was grateful, because she was the only one in his family who didn't look at him like he was a lost puppy or worse, like he was about to die. Amelia was young, fresh, carefree, exactly what Derek had been missing in all the two years he had spent with Rose.

Mark had warned him for a long time that he was becoming "boring" but Derek didn't listen. And yet he was paying the consequences of it. He was flying alone to his sister's place instead of being on a honeymoon.

But then, in the bigger picture, for a couple of weeks he could pretended that medicine didn't exist. No scuts, no ER to cover, no blood and guts everywhere, no sleepless nights on call. Nothing of that sort. Just family and laughter because surely, being with Amy, he wasn't going to be the same boring Derek. That Derek was going to remain in New York.

The airport was busy and he was strangely late. He was always on time, but maybe the new Derek wasn't.

He stood in a line to swap the ticket he had purchased for Hawaii and instead bought a single one to Rome, without an ounce of regret, being honest with himself. Then he moved with his suitcase to find the gate where he was supposed to start his journey. When he reached the spot, the hostess closed the gate right behind his back and he sighed in relief.

In the lane in front of him there were all kinds of people, from an elderly couple with eyes shining with love, to toddlers barely able to stand as they clung to their parent's legs for support.

He had wanted that life for so long -the getting old with somebody, kids to play catch or have tea parties in pink rooms with, a satisfying job- that maybe he had even lost perspective. He dreamed of things without considering who he wanted to have all them with. It wasn't even about Rose anymore. It was about him.

Along the way, he had lost himself and the biggest question in his mind at the moment was: where could he find that man again? Where was the faith hiding?

Maybe Rome had all the answers, maybe not, but for the time being, he really hoped it did.

So, this is where both Meredith and Derek stand. It's not much, I know, but I'll be moving the story forward soon. Meredith just graduated college and is unsure if she wants to go to Mer School. Derek is almost a second year resident. They are in an airport. The rest you will have to take it on faith ;)

This will be a real journey, not in the metaphorical sense of the word I usually mean it. They will literally travel. You'll know how and where and why in the next chapters, but buckle in, because Meredith and Derek hit Europe! :D

You can xpect an update soon. I'm not sure I'll be able to keep up a schedule, but there will be at least one update a week, unless I say otherwise. I have some things banked already so don't fear any writer's block yet.

I really hope you enjoyed this first part because there are many more to come, I'd dare say around 30, but who knows? Maybe more? Maybe less? You just have to travel with me to find out.