This is my first fanfiction in English. It's not my first language.
I hope you still enjoy it. And thank you to two good friends of mine, ronni and kathi.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, but I wish I did.

CHAPTER 1
How can I give anymore

It has been a while since Highschool. He had dreams before graduation, but they didn´t work out. It was such a stupid dream to become a famous Illustrator. Sam couldn´t even draw. But he thought, he only had to find someone who would draw his ideas. It wasn't easy, actually it was impossible to find someone, who was not creative enough to get his own ideas on paper. It was frustrating for him. He didn´t have a clue what he was doing with his life. It seemed pointless to do anything. So he gave up working all together. Sitting on the couch and watching cartoons. That had been his life for so long. He didn´t have hope for a future outside of his home now that he had lived with his parents in this little tiny house in Kentucky for at least ten years now. He already knew he couldn't live there forever, but it was so easy. His mother was cooking for all of them and every evening they were sitting at the dining table, talking about their day. Of course every second day they fought because Sam was still at home with no work and all his laziness. His parents weren't proud of him, but he didn't care. Once his mother told him, she didn't recognize her son anymore, the good one who was working to get his brother Stevie new shoes or the little princess Stacie a doll. She cried and Sam felt guilty but he thought he was a loser. She had to accept that.

College wasn't an option either because of his learning disability. Sam had not applied in the first place, because of it. He told his parents, he was rejected by every College he had applied. His father was really mad when he found out, but Sam didn't care. At some point of his life, he had lost his way.

"Sam c'mon we gotta go." His sister Stacie yelled through the house. It had been his home for so long, and now it was empty and cold.

"I'm already on my way." Sam sighed.

It has been three months, since his parents died in a car accident and it still felt like yesterday to him. In the night of the accident, he hadn't been at home. For the first time in a couple of months he had been out, meeting an old friend from McKinley Highschool. Artie Abrams, the boy in the wheelchair and the very smooth sound in his voice. It had been years, since he thought off his old Highschool in Lima, Ohio. He lived there for one year, it had been a rough year. After his family moved from Tennessee to Ohio he wanted to be popular at Highschool, but he joined the Glee Club instead. The best thing he had ever done in his life. He had been a Member of a second family and he had loved them. But his Dad had lost his job and they had to move from Lima to Park Hills in Kentucky. Back then he thought he could never forget them, but he almost did.

Sam met Artie at the pharmacy one week before the accident happened. His little sister was ill and needed some medicine. Sam was really surprised to see him there after all those years. Artie talked about his marriage with Sugar Motta and the divorce three years later and that he had no contact to the other members of the Glee Club. But they couldn't talk long, because Sam's sister called and said she was dying and needed her medicine. So they agreed to meet a few days later, to talk.

Sam was very excited to meet Artie again. He wanted know every single detail that happened after he moved to Park Hills. It had been a really long time, since he thought about Rachel, Quinn, Finn and the other members of Glee Club.

He had to work as a stripper to get money to support his parents, so the start in Kentucky was stressful. Sam was always scared his father would lose his job again and they would have to move out of their new home. The first year was rough at Kentucky and so he lost the contact to his friends. He was very frustrated back then. But at senior year their financial situation was saved and finally Sam could quit his job. But he wasn't the same child, because he had to grow up to an adult too fast. Besides he wanted to contact Finn, but he was too ashamed of not calling or texting, so it was frustrating too. After all he never called anyone of the Glee Club and said to himself, it was pointless to do anything. So maybe he lost his way at this point of his life. But that didn't matter, he wanted hear all dirty secrets that happened.

He already saw Artie at a table in the Bar, when he arrived. Sam gave him a short hug and sat down on the chair next to him.

"Good to see you again." Sam said with a smile.

"Good to see you, too." Artie smiled too and after the greeting they both ordered a beer.

"So what are you doing in Kentucky?" Sam asked interested.

"At the moment? I'm waiting to get my beer." Artie laughed. Sam laughed too and shook his head.

"No seriously, man, what are you doing here, in Park Hills, little village, where nothing exciting ever happens?" Sam said and thanked the waitress for his beer.

"I'm on a Road Trip." Artie said and took a swallow from his beer.

"By yourself?" Sam frowning.

"No idiot. I'm with a group of people. We are on the way to New York." Artie laughed loud.

"Of course, that makes sense." Sam said with an apologetically smirk.

"So, what are you doing, if you not on a Road Trip?" Artie smiled.

"It's a Theatergroup Sam, we are on tour. I wrote the play. It's about friendship and all that stuff." Sam's eyes were big. Artie also produced a play, written by himself. They are together on tour. That sounded great and made him feel like a loser.

"And what are you doing?" Artie asked.

"This and that." Sam rubbed his neck. "You know, stuff.", he said. It was really embarrassing, but Artie didn't asked further and so he took a swallow of his beer. There was a awkward silence between them, that made Sam feel uncomfortable.

"So you said, you were married to that Sugar Motta Girl." Sam tried to ignore the awkwardness of the situation.

"Yeah, Sugar. I met her in senior year at McKinley Highschool, she was a terrible singer, but kind of sweet." Sam smiled and for once since years he allowed himself to think of Mercedes. How was she doing?

"Also crazy, but I fell in love with her on Valentine's Day, when she performed Love Shack. She was with someone else, but that didn't stop me." Artie said with a big grin on his face.

"Lady's man." Sam said und laughed.

"Of course, have you ever known me different?" Artie looked to Sam with a big grin. "No really, I was just such a lucky guy that she fell in love with me. But it didn't work out, so i am now single, again." Artie shrugged his shoulders. Sam thought he saw a sad look in Arties face for one moment, but he decided to ignore it.

"Um so are you in touch with the others?" Sam knew Artie said already, that he hadn't contact with them.

"No, I am not. But I know that Rachel is on Broadway."

"How do you know?" Sam asked surprised.

"I read the newspaper." Artie shrugged his shoulders. That made sense.

"Oh, I am not." Sam laughed ashamed.

„She made it Sam. Rachel is in debate for a huge Hollywood movie. I think she is becoming a big actress."

"Well, it's seems she has everything she ever wanted." Sam looked to his empty beer. His hand played with the glass.

"She doesn't have Finn." Artie said serious.

"Why is that?" Sam asked immediately.

"Finn broke up with her and joined the Army." Artie required the waitress.

"What?" Sam spit the words out. They broke up? They had kissed at the Regionals Show Choir Competition and killed their chance to make the title. Sam remembered the moment on stage, while they had kissed, he was so shocked at the moment, that he took Mercedes hand and looked at her. She had smiled and shook her head. She had definitely thought the same as he, it was impossible they came together in such a moment. But love was love. Sam smiled.

"Oh boy, that's a really long story. The short version is, they were engaged and after graduation they wanted to get married. But only Rachel made it to the New York University, actually to the NYADA, her dream university. Finn thought he stopped her from her dreams, so he broke up with her, because he loved her." Artie took a deep breath. "I don't think they got back together."

Sam looked interested at Artie und was shocked by the news. He always had hated it that he had to move away from Lima, but now these feelings were stronger in his chest than ever before. Sam was glad, after the waitress got their two new glasses of beer. He took a deep swallow and shook his head. Impossible what happened. He thought again what happened with Mercedes, but he was scared to ask. Maybe she had a boyfriend, after their relationship in the summer. Sam was devastated. Maybe she was engaged in senior year too. He realized that his heart raced.

"Tina and Mike?" He asked. The always were the dream couple on McKinley Highschool.

"Tina broke up with Mike, because the distance was killing her." Artie said sad.

"No way!" Sam said loud and a few pairs of eyes fixed him. He ignored them.

"It was a hard time." Artie said dramatically.

Sam didn't know what to say to that. Artie seemed to see it as an invite to go on and he did. He told him about Rory an irish guy and the living Jesus Joe. He told Sam about Quinns accident in senior year and how rough it was for her. He told him about their fight with the Warblers. Sam listened and it pulled him down. He had never been so frustrated in the last years. It was impossible what he missed in just one year of Highschool. He took a deep swallow from his glass and looked at Artie, who told him the whole story about the Glee Members. He also told him that Puck had been in Lima and Artie really did not know what had happened to him. But Sam bothered that he said no word about Mercedes.

"What about her?" He nearly screamed and stared Artie. Artie frowned. Sam didn't mention her name, but it was obvious which part of the Glee Club he meant.

"Are you living on this planet?" Sam wasn't in the mood for a joke. He was pissed that Artie hadn't said a word about Mercedes. Sam's heart screamed for information about her.

"You really don't know?" Artie was surprised. "She is a famous singer. Fuck, you really don't know?" Artie looked amazed. Sam on the other side was numbed. He didn't even blink. His Mercedes did it and he had no inkling. That was fantastic. He smiled and after a few minutes he looked at Artie.

"Sam, are you okay?" Artie asked.

"She did it, damn good girl." Sam said with a big grin. He was damn proud of his girl, although she had not been his girl for a long time, but at this moment it still felt like they were still together.

"Artie I never heard about her. Is she that famous?" Artie pushed his left eyebrow up.

"Sam she has won a Grammy a few years ago. Is Park Hills such a village?" He asked. Sam sighed. No it was not, but he had been outshouted from the world. He didn't even remember when he watched the news or commercial tv the last time. He had watched cartoons or had written songs. He never realized how insulated he had lived, until now.

"Yeah-" He was interrupted by his cellphone. The ringtone was 'red solo cup' by Toby Keith. "Excuse me." He said to Artie and walked out of the bar.

"Stacie? What is going on?" Sam heard the broken voice of his sister and at that moment he panicked. "Talk to me, is something happened?" He heard her crying and he stopped to breath. He listened to her, but she didn't say anything. Sam got anxious.

„Talk to me Baby." He craved. Finally she said a word. He couldn't understand, because she cried so badly. But she spoke, it was a progress.

"Calm down Baby, what happened?" He tried to understand what happened to her, but she had been really out of it.

"Are you alright, are you hurt?" Sam streaked with his hand through his hair.

"No. I'm fine, but mom and dad-" She cried again and Sam felt sick. What happened to his parents? Finally his sister said the words he almost expected. They were dead.

"Sam?" Stacie came into the room and looked at her brother. She felt heartbroken, when she saw his pain and she pushed him into a hug. Sam did not move at all. It was so damn painful and he felt lost. He never expected to lose his parents so soon. He maybe was twenty-six but he needed them more than ever, why were they gone? He couldn't understand why this had happened. Sam felt like a child, bereft of his parents.

Sam's face was full of pain. He already missed his parents. He had no clue how to live without the kindness of his Mom or the helpful hand of his Dad. He almost regretted that he had so many fights with them. He had not been a good son to them since Highschool.

"It's going to be fine." His sister whispered, while she hugged him. Finally Sam embraced his sister too and accepted that she tried to comfort him. He never was the part of the family who needed a hug or a smile to get over his problems. But now, he needed his sister and brother, to survive the pain in his chest. Sam's glimpse fell to the window behind them. It was small, nothing big or obvious, but he felt sick again. He freed himself from the hug and walked by Stacie. It was just a little tiny detail from his mother. The Dreamcatcher he made in preschool. It hung in the window to catch bad dreams and to give the good dreams a chance. Sam touched it and couldn't believe that she kept it all those years. Tears sprung to his eyes.

"Are we ready to go?" Stevie finally joined his siblings in the master bedroom.

"I don't think so.", said Stacie to his brother and portended to Sam, who stood at the window and cried.

"Sam, it's going to be fine." Stevie said. Sam whisked the tears from his cheek and turned around to his siblings. He had to be strong for them. Stevie was already an adult but Stacie was only seventeen. He was her guardian now their parents were gone. He was the one who should them tell, that everything was going to be fine. But he couldn't be this strong person at the moment. He just shook his head and walked past the two to leave the master bedroom and the house, he couldn't take it any longer.