The next time Jerome tried creeping into Amber and Nina's room, Fabian was there waiting for him.
"How long?" He asked. He held Amber's pillow between his hands. "How long have you been in love with her?"
Jerome gulped, clearly uncomfortable.
"I – I don't…"
"Jerome, it's me."
Jerome ran his hands through his hair. He felt as though he needed to sit down.
"I don't know."
Fabian nodded. He stood up and walked towards Jerome, handing him the pillow.
"You need to accept that however hard this is, you can't do this alone." Fabian told him.
"I'm not ready."
"You need to accept yourself, accept how you feel and accept us – that we're all in this together,"
"You don't understand!" Jerome cried. He didn't want to shout at Fabian. He was a good friend, a good guy, but it was getting difficult.
"Then help me understand!"
"I was there!" He snarled, falling back onto the door for support.
"What?"
"I was there! When Amber fell – I saw it!"
"You saw her fall?"
"Yes!"
They stood in silence for a few moments.
"No."
"Yes! I was coming out of the dining room and she was standing at the top of the stairs," Jerome's voice started to waver with emotion, "She said 'how do I look?' and I said 'you look beautiful Ambs, just like always', she laughed and ran down the stairs to meet me. She tripped and right from the top to the bottom she fell. I should have caught her but I was frozen, paralysed by fear and with a thud she lay at my feet."
Jerome thought he was going to be sick.
"I'm so sorry," Fabian whispered.
"You know I've been visiting her every day."
"I know – we all do."
Jerome nodded. He guessed as much.
"Look, I have to go."
"Let us come with you."
Jerome looked towards him like a lost child.
"When you're ready… let us come with you."
Jerome nodded. He dodged past Fabian and rummaged through the bottom of Amber's wardrobe.
"Shoes?"
"Her favourite pair." Jerome smiled, slipping them into his satchel, "I'll see you." He muttered.
He walked through the corridors of Anubis house and down the stairs. He could barely look at them.
He found his way to the hospital and pushed open the door like he had done many times before.
Nothing had changed.
He sat down beside her and took her hand in his.
"Hey Ambs, can you hear me?"
Every visit seemed to be blurring into one. The days stretched on and on and still no sign of her recovery. The only difference was after Jerome had done her hair, applied her lip-gloss and brushed her hair.
Jerome was helping her become herself again.
He pulled the shoes out of his bag and knelt at the foot of her bed. He held the back of her heels, her skin like warm milk and guided her feet inside her shoes.
He paused, and bent low, pressing his pursed lips to her ankle.
He resumed his place and sat next to her in the visitor's chair. He took her hand again and gently stroked it.
"We're going to come back, together this time, we'll all be here. I promise," He told her, squeezing her hand gently, "I won't do this alone anymore. I know you hate it when I try – but I had to know, I had to know if I could do it without you Ambs. Guess what? I can't."
His voice cracked and he began to cry. Short sharp sobs. He laid his head down on the side of her bed. He covered his face with his hands and cried harder.
Suddenly, he felt a twitch. Amber's hand that lay next to his head had twitched, as if she was trying to stroke his hair. Jerome sat up.
"Amber?"
He looked down at her hand that twitched ever so slightly before resuming its stillness.
He must have imagined it. All of this hoping and wishing. He must've dreamt it.
He gave a breathy sigh – but he heard her stirring.
He leant closer, his heart beating in his ears.
She stirred further.
"Os… osar…"
"Yes, Amber – what are you trying to tell me?"
"Osar… osarian…"
Her breath was ever so light. But Jerome could just make out the word – Osarian.
Maybe she was still dreaming about the quest.
"Amber, are you awake?"
Nothing.
"Amber, if you can hear me, I'm going to get the others. We'll all be here – I promise."
Jerome gathered his things before darting out the door.
As the door slammed, Amber's eyelids fluttered.