A/N: I completely forgot to upload this here! SO sorry guys, I posted the new chapter on Ao3 a few days ago and just remembered this site...

The night was long, even by his standards. Bruce had a few hours' worth of catching up to do, and then Thor's return to Earth brought with it a long briefing that basically amounted to "Thanos is big, and dangerous, and very very bad, and also has what may be a weird death fetish but no Tony that's really not the problem here". Then it was an hour or two of calming him down after they revealed that his little brother might have a pesudo-tumor from Chitauri magic.

It wasn't as simple as Tony'd hoped; Odin couldn't restore his strength- literally, couldn't, by some inane magic principle- until he'd thoroughly reconciled his crimes, so Loki was on his own. Sort of. Since the Chitauri were probably trying to contact him, it was in their best interest to keep an eye on what he did and how safe he was, just in case they used him to get to Earth somehow or, worse, managed to reawaken both his magic and his rage.

"Time, buddy?" Tony wondered of JARVIS, setting his third empty mug down over another line of code.

"Just past six in the morning, Sir. The others are still in their beds, except for Mr. Rogers who I believe has gone grocery shopping after assessing the pitiful states of your kitchen." Six, huh? He could have saved himself this exhaustion if he'd just woken up a little later, but yeah, that wasn't going to happen after that night. Too much to think about, too much to do, no idea how to do it.

Coffee, needed more of that. He snatched up his tablet on his way out, transferring the page over so he could keep up his work as he staggered into the kitchen, filled his mug, and thumped back to the elevator. Whatever they're hiding with has got to have some basis in stealth tech. Magic is just advanced science, if Thor can figure this out, I can. Okay, not a fair comparison considering the god had stepped into here and practically groaned over his "gratuitously outdated technology", only unable to use it because it was apparently so clunky compared to what he was used to.

That might have something to do with why he was still up, actually. Tony was many things, spiteful was easily one of them.

He was about to step into the elevator when the doorbell rang, a sort of pitiful fumbling ding. Huh. Probably something wrong with that, he'd have to check the wiring; thing didn't exactly get tested out too often, that might have been its first run since the attack. "I swear to god, if you are selling something that is not Thin Mints, I will sick Black Widow on you."

They were always running out of things on the repair site, and he had plenty of supplies and more-than-able bodied people available if needed. So, expecting a volunteer, Tony fumbled his tablet and coffee cup into one hand so he could open the door with the other.

Not a worker, but Loki. The god had never come to him before, at least not without notice, so it took him a long moment to process the fact that he was a) there, and b) looked like death on his feet. "Whoa, Dracula, you get any sleep last night or-"

"You." Loki took a step forward and Tony one stumbling back; Jesus, the look in his eyes. Like there was a real glint of red somewhere in there. Suit. I need my suit, tell the others. "You knew."

Knew? Yeah, something was off here, that wasn't violent that was… desperate. "I think we might be on different pages here." Tony was backing up still, but less out of fear. He needed to lure Loki firmly into the tower before anybody could see him, get that door bolted and see him safely shut in here. With a look like that the god was bound to get himself into some serious harm.

"You lied to me." Not wrong, admittedly. Still not helpful. Looking nearer Loki's eyes were red, shot with the remnants of tears. Could nothing just be simple with his life? "All this time you knew what I am- what I did."

Oh, fuck. Tony should have been feeling a million rational things (like maybe fear, or panic) instead of pity, but there it was. He'd always been wondering if Loki was as appalled by the crimes he was accused of as he'd acted at the café, or if it was all a weak act for pity… and no, he was much, much worse. Every part of him spoke of pain, so boldly expressed that even he couldn't miss it. "No, we just found out for sure, okay? And we really need to have a talk about all that after you maybe calm down."

Because as it was Loki didn't look like he could stay on his feet for another minute, let alone speak with reason.

Calm down. Stark wanted him to be calm. "How? How could you not tell me, how could you help me?" Loki pleaded, his voice cracking on a painful high- his throat, oh it hurt so badly, he'd been crying all night- because he just couldn't do this. Oh, gods, he had been trying so hard, why had this happened? "You let me walk around with them, try to help them all after what I did?"

There had been so many coming to him in that clinic. They had always thanked him for his work and he had always been so proud. "Because you don't even remember doing it, Loki. You said yourself that you didn't want to be punished for something you may as well not have done." Stark was still moving away from him as he spoke, hands up in either exasperation or defense. "You said you'd want to help them!"

"I did not know what it would be like!" Darkness fluttered across Loki's vision as he screamed, and he was forced to stumble and grab the edge of an end-table to keep on his feet, he couldn't breathe. He didn't want to. He hadn't slept for a moment. Not sure how he'd ended up at this door, when he'd staggered out of May's home, what he wanted.

Blood, pleasure, dead, dying. Too many. And this man had known, he had let him go free. "I did not think that I had been looking in the eyes of my own victims for weeks. I have been tending to people for pain I caused!" His head was pounding, it had been hurting all night, sometimes so badly he could hardly move; like now, and he had no idea whether that or the words brought tears to his eyes but he was crying, and it only made it so much worse. "What would you tell them, Stark? That you thought they deserved to cozy up to their-their children's killer, or that you thought he should have a second chance?!"

The scar at Loki's temple pulsed with pain again; he gasped and staggered, Stark's retreat halting as he took a half step forward. "Okay, you need to get to a hospital."

"No!" He didn't have the strength to put into it but the man stumbled back anyway, hands lifting up once more at his sides. Why was he just dealing with this? He looked almost calm, only worried, as if his biggest concern here was for Loki's health and gods damn it did he not know what had happened, did he not care at all?

Another step forward; he was so angry he was shaking, felt numb. "You should have told me the very moment you knew, damn you. How long? How fucking long have you been hiding this from me?!"

"We barely found out two days ago! I had to figure everything out before I could tell you!" Stark said more, but it was lost in the beat of Loki's headache, his mouth's movements vanishing behind a blur of tears, tilting.

"Liar!" The shout was more than he could give. Loki's world was flipped, trembling (or was that him?), his knees took him half a step forward before they gave out and how could he have destroyed so much when he could not even stand, what sort of killer collapsed under their own sobs?

They flooded him, drowned his vision and thoughts in black water. By the time he could think again something very soft was against his forehead, and there was a firmness wrapped around his shoulders that only had him crying harder with relief. It was stupid, ridiculous of him, he shouldn't be wanting comfort after what he'd learned; he was just so, so tired of being in pain. If Stark was going to hold him like this then fine, fine, it was not as though he had the strength to protest.

"Okay, shit, Loki, you know what just happened?" Happened? "No, you don't, that's just awesome. Look at me- you breathing okay? You just had a seizure, you need a doctor, the existential crisis can wait. Can you get up?"

It didn't seem worth the effort to try. Loki could barely process the words, let alone care about their implications, and he didn't need to try to move to know he couldn't. If his head shook at all it was just enough for Tony to feel against his chest, the hand that had somehow found his hair giving it a soothing stroke. No, no he couldn't, thank the gods, he was just so tired, a whimper rose high in his throat, drowning out the pain of a sob.

He couldn't tell what Stark was saying, but he was glad for it. Somehow he managed to breathe evenly again, vaguely aware that the man had taken to rubbing circles in his back only once he'd stopped. Why was he doing that? Loki couldn't think just now why he would ever want him to stop, he was the only thing keeping the knife in his head at bay.

Everything shifted. It was his cheek up against the cloth of Stark's shirt, not his forehead, and his body was so light, drifting…

Jesus fuck, did this guy eat rocks for every meal or what? Loki was like dead weight in his arms, probably didn't even know that he was asleep.From a hundred to zero, huh? Couldn't really blame him. At least something had gotten him out, he'd looked absolutely starved for sleep- not that Tony thought a seizure was a good way of going about getting it.

He grunted as he hefted Loki up for a better grip, his lower back declaring mutiny under such unfair treatment. It would have to do. He couldn't just leave anyone- even Loki- to pass out on his floor after something like that, and his body still shook with minute contractions every few seconds that told Tony they weren't clear yet. God, he looked so… his lips were half parted, his eyes dark and sunken around the edges, hair in wild curls that just barely displayed the scar beneath. Had this happened before? He hadn't even seemed aware of it.

Bruce wasn't going to like getting up this early after the night they'd had, but unless Tony wanted to give Loki up to SHIELD then he didn't have much of a choice. What did Odin want from him, repentance? Because he sure as hell had that in spades, so much of it that it was damn near killing him.

He was a superhero, he should be able to carry one unconscious guy to an elevator. Tony took it slowly, because Loki was heavy enough that he could easily end up dropping him otherwise, so he'd only made it three or four steps before somebody came pounding down the stairs to his rescue.

"Brother!" Thor sprinted down the stairs and took up the burden of Loki's weight in a few swift, smooth seconds, leaving Tony blinking in surprise. "What happened? JARVIS only told me that he was here, with you, and in distress."

"Had a seizure- it's a long story. Let's get him set up somewhere first, okay? I imagine those take a whole lot out of you." Loki didn't claim to know his brother, but his body sure did; he was already curling into his brother's form, as small as possible in the blond's ridiculous arms. "Got plenty of spare rooms, let's take him up to, ah…. Jane still coming?"

Thor glanced up- he'd been looking down to Loki, murmuring quietly to calm him- and shook his head. "Nay. I would have liked to see her again, yet I did not think it wise for her to be here."

"Right, and Pepper's off, so eighth floor's all open." The elevator opened conveniently as they approached it, already lit up for the floor in question, and as soon as Thor had settled, carefully, inside it set off, thankfully much slower than normal. The floor barely rocked, and Loki remained perfectly oblivious in his brother's grasp.

Fuck was he a mess, hair all in his face. They were close enough that he could just lean over and brush that out of the way, so he folded his arms tight as they would go instead, because that wouldn't be the first time he'd given into a crazy urge. Hard not to feel a little protective, right? Guy looked absolutely pathetic.

Well, he could assess that later, much bigger problems for the moment.

Like Thor's critical eye and the very defensive way he was holding Loki. "What happened, Tony? Loki would not have come here without reason, and you are the only one of us he is able to contact."

"Well, you're not wrong." Maybe he shouldn't have said that, Thor was starting to look pissed and he had learned that it was better not to be on the receiving end of his anger. "I don't know details, so don't get all interrogative on me here, okay? He found out about… what he did."

"How?"

"What'd I just say? I have no idea. Maybe it's comin' back to him, except he knew that I knew for sure, so something had to tell him. Unless someone hacked SHIELD- which I do all the time, and I'd've caught it if anyone tried- then it had to be one of our guys." And only one of them had any sort of incentive to do it.

But Clint had both Natasha and JARVIS watching him, so how the hell could he have gotten out, let alone found Loki and managed to convince him of who he was? Thor was clearly thinking the same thing, and Tony didn't want an archer with a broken anything, so he hastened to continue. "Or maybe he found some sort of proof on the reconstruction site itself, there's tons of stuff out there that SHIELD hasn't been able to clean up yet."

"Unlikely. Your systems are not fully repaired after Loki's attack, and much of the tower has not been wholly built at all. Barton found a way out, I am sure of it," Thor growled. "I will speak with him later."

Okay, that was going to go well. Yeah. Probably should intervene with that… or just make C

ap do it, that was a much better idea. They took the rest of the ride in silence, and Thor was uncharacteristically solemn as he carried Loki out of the elevator and down the hall, into the one room Tony had that was both fully furnished and guaranteed to be empty- there had been more but, well, this guy here'd made short work of most of the place.

Pepper'd stayed in here. She had a surprising amount of tolerance, but Tony couldn't help thinking she wouldn't really approve of having a supervillain sleeping in her bed. Still, it was the softest bed in the place with the fluffiest comforter and best blackout curtains, sort of overwhelmingly relaxing, the best place for Loki to rest. Thor cast the room a look of relieved approval before settling Loki into the bed; Tony, almost without thinking, pulled aside the blankets and tossed them over the gods' shoulders, startled to see just how small he looked n them.

'Nother time, Stark, 'nother time. "JARVIS, give Bruce a call and send him up here, would you, buddy?"

"Already done, Sir. And might I add that Mr. Barton is, to my knowledge, still resting peacefully in his room. As far as I am aware, he has not left it since retiring last evening."

"Run a diagnostics."

"As you wish, Sir."

Loki let out a sighing breath in his sleep, tossing one of those ridiculous curls out of his face. Hard to believe he was looking at a mass murderer. When he'd come down to Earth before he hadn't given half a damn about what he'd done, not even after his defeat, hadn't even bothered to fakeguilt. Would have been much easier if he'd been playing them now, but there was no way even he could play a part that well.

Thor's hand was hovering by Loki's head, and it took a slightly familiar pull in the air for Tony to realize he wasn't just being careful, he was doingmagic. Since when did Thor know magic? Was summoning lightning and thunder magic? Maybe, it had always just seemed like Thor. "Uh, so, what is this?"

"Hm?" Thor's hand slipped as his concentration did, and he blinked at Tony as though he'd forgotten his presence. So he could do it, but not easily. "Do not look so surprised, my friend, anyone on Asgard can perform the most basic spells. You said you believe the Chitauri may have left some remnant of their power in my brother's brain, I am merely looking for it."

"Any luck?"

"It depends on your definition, I suppose. There is some form of energy that is not his own, and yet it seems to be doing nothing but being. It does not feel like a spell, not a normal one, anyway…" Thor frowned, fingers twitching slightly as they passed over Loki's uninjured temple. "Here. It shouldn't be so strong in one spot like this."

He gave Loki's head a gentle nudge, prompting him to turn it lazily over. With the area exposed properly, Thor carefully pressed two fingers along his marble skin and frowned all the deeper. "There is something here, past his skull. I cannot tell what."

Rather than pull away he simply spread out his hand to pass soothingly through Loki's hair, the tang of magic gone from the air. "Guess we're getting him that MRI after all. You have those up on Asgard? Big things, scan your head, show all the goodies inside?"

"No. A healer may use a soulforge if the case is entirely uncertain, but with something such as this a proper one would need only her own skill."

"Come on, let us have one thing."

"Your people are young, and you will grow in your own way. I see no shame in that. You are certainly more rapid in it than any other realm, the rest of us take a few hundred years to decide we do not like something," Thor admitted, shaking his head. "Now is not the time to discuss this, my friend. If the Chitauri have retained an interest in my brother it is not for anything good, and Heimdall has made no progress in detecting Thanos or his fleet. We may have little time to act."

"Got any ideas, then? Because I'm… well, I'm actually lost here." Tony shrugged and tossed up his hands, not ashamed to admit that all this was a little bit beyond him. "If we need to, we'll fight. We're good at biting back, but for once we've got a chance to make the first move, and I'm kind of hoping we can take it."

"Were it up to me I would fly to meet Thanos immediately, and lay waste to his forces before they can grow in strength or number. Yet few if any could follow me, let alone without being destroyed in the course,while the location is so uncertain, and my father would not risk opening the bifrost freely to the mad titan's territory." Thor scowled, clearly finding this an unnecessary precaution- or maybe just more of a danger than a help. "They must be waiting for something, or they would have attacked long ago. We must find out what that is."

"Easier said than done. Unless it's somewhere in there," Tony amended, gesturing towards Loki's head. The god hadn't moved since Thor had turned his head, and his lips were beginning to look a little pale. How long had he known? Enough to tear him apart, but considering the news itself that could have been anywhere from half an hour to eight.

"Wow, you actually tucked him in. That's a new level of weird for you, Stark," Natasha's voice declared, followed moments later by the spy's calm entrance, Bruce trailing just behind. Oh, of course she knew, how wouldn't she? Fucking omniscient Russian. "Huh. He really is out. Thought he'd be tricking you."

"Hey, I can be counted on to recognize a little lie now and then!"

"Mm hmm. Of course you can." She folded her arms, expression not quite as hard as Tony'd expected it to be. "That kid will be looking for him soon. Do we have a plan to deal with that? We really don't want him getting mixed up in things, even if he can swing around on fancy webs."

Thor frowned, now with more confusion than anger. "Webs? I did not know Earth had any Arachne, can they truly be male here?"

"You know, suddenly he's not as bad as he could be," Tony decided.

"Another time, Thor. Tony, pull that blanket back, I need to check him over," Bruce declared, lifting a bag of medical supplies up onto the bedside table. "And 'Tasha's right, it sounds like Parker makes things… messy."

Pull the blanket back, sure, but he looked so damn comfortable right now, was that really necessary? Yeah, fine. Doctor's orders. Tony sighed and slipped the comforter away, trying not to wince when Loki's hand made some pitiful grab for it, fell tiredly limp again. "Unless one of you does areally good Loki impression then I think we're out of luck, there. Maybe we can give him amnesia."

"Impressions- good thinking, Stark. Give me his phone," Natasha ordered calmly, sticking her hand straight out as though Tony could just materialize cellular devices on a whim.

"Excuse me?"

"Look at his clothes, he probably wore those through the night. Phone's going to be in his pocket, get it for me."

Fish around in Loki's pants, okay, no big deal. Tony scooted past Bruce (who'd pulled up Loki's shirt and was listening carefully to his heartbeat) to loot for his stuff- only for Thor to knock him aside and pull the phone away, eyes crinkled with annoyance. "Is this necessary? My brother deserves his privacy."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm with Thor- can you all step out for a minute?" Bruce didn't even look up, gesturing vaguely out the door without looking away from his work, except for a sidelong glance to Thor. "He's going to be okay, you know. He's stable for now, I think it was mostly stress that caused the seizure. We'll get him some food and water when he's up, and an MRI for dessert."

The joke fell a little flat, but Bruce's smile made up for it. Thor unfolded his arms and nodded, opened his mouth and shut it again in silence. Looking almost mournful he turned his back on the bed and led the way to the hall, Natasha flipping through Loki's (hacked) phone as they went. Tony took the rear so he could shut the door, and sneak one last lingering look through the vanishing gap.

Yeah, time for him to get some rest. God knew he deserved it.

"What are you doing with that?" Thor wondered, more confused than suspicious as he regarded Natasha's actions. "I do not think Loki keeps any information of use in that device, and surely you can find Parker's number elsewhere?"

"I'm getting a feel for how he texts. Thankfully, he seems to send a lot of them, so Parker won't think anything of him not calling… or, apparently, spending the night with a stranger. Thor, did you know your brother's a bit of a-" Natasha broke off, giving him a sideways look. "Anyway, give me a few minutes, I'll make sure he doesn't suspect a thing. You two should be looking into how Clint managed to get out last night."

"I do not need to look in to it. I will go and have the truth from Barton for myself."

"Thor, you can't barge in there treating him like a criminal. No," she lifted a finger, warning, "You can't. He won't listen, and it wouldn't be fair to him, not after what Loki did. You don't know how badly he got to him, he hasn't been the same since New York. I know Loki needs help, but Clint does too."

"Aye, Natasha, I know that. I assure you, I know well how badly Loki's actions can hurt people. I will not be accusing, but I do not deal in secrets when there is a clear path ahead of me."

Okay, this could go on forever. Tony gave Thor's beefy arm a quick pat in farewell, head already spinning with conflict. "Pick and choose how to deal with that mess, guys. I'm going to go and see about a discreet hospital setup. You two," he pointed between them both, two terrifying people who looked very annoyed with him, "can have fun with the emotional wrecking ball that is our archer. Call me when he's, uh, when's up, okay?"

Another gesture to the door, just in case they'd forgotten, before Tony more or less fled down the hall. Loki, not ten hours ago he had just beenLoki, sitting at dinner and infuriating in his easy manner, so why now?

Son of a bitch. He could have just gone on not caring about anything, and spared Tony a lot of trouble.

Loki's head felt like it had been filled with bricks when he tried to lift it, his eyelids thick and somehow sticky. Why did waking up have to be so hard? It hadn't been quite this bad since those first few weeks, but he had his bad days, where the mattress was a more tempting prospect than any activity could be. Now… now was one of those, yes, he was so tired and he couldn't even imagine forcing his eyes open, so why was he awake?

He couldn't remember falling asleep. This wasn't his room, was it? Maybe he'd passed out in front of May, or a customer, or at the clinic. He didn't want to be in the hospital again. He hated going to the hospital, they should just let him sleep on his own, but this… this wasn't his bed, was it? Where was he? This didn't feel right, something was- wrong, he was forgetting again, wasn't he?

Loki's fear weighed out his exhaustion, and his reluctant eyes opened as wide as he could force them. The light was dim, enough that he barely recognized that he did not recognize his surroundings at all before a voice spoke at his side. "Loki? It's alright, you're safe." He knew that voice, hedid, but… Loki turned his head, eyes unconsciously pleading, to find a man with curly brown hair and simple glasses, altogether plain. Still, he knew him. Right, from dinner. Who was he? God, his head hurt.

"I'm Bruce Banner," he explained, slowly, calmly, as if he knew. "You're in Stark tower, mid Manhattan. Do you know why?"

No. No, he did, it was just… not coming. Damn it, why, it was right there, why couldn't he get it? "Okay, no problem. You came by early this morning, to talk to Tony Stark about something that was bothering you. We, uh, don't really know too many details- you got agitated and had a seizure, then fell unconscious. You've slept for about," he looked quickly to his watch, "seven hours."

Bothering him. That was definite, there was so much bothering him, he could only imagine what it might have been. And he was trying to remember, so hard his poor head was almost numb with pounding. "Why am I still here?" He should be leaving now, he was awake and he did not want to be in this place. He tried to sit upright but his body wouldn't cooperate- he didn't hurt, he didn't… much, actually.

"Well, you were unconscious, so we didn't really think you would do too well on the subway," Banner explained, turning away to a bedside. Loki couldn't see what he was doing, which he was glad for. "And you don't need a hospital, just lots of rest and some food."

"Then why are you here?"

"Okay, this is where I start to sound really creepy, but the house told me you were waking up." He turned over his shoulder, enough for a brief glance, and waved up toward the ceiling. "There's an AI; monitors most things, and he kept an eye on your heartbeat. You don't have to be up for long, I just want you to finish off this food and water for now."

Loki was about to press the house issue when the doctor offered him a glass and a plate, which seemed to tempt his tired form enough that he managed to lift his hand to take a drink. That was nice. More of that, then.

The food was good, whatever it was. Wished he could see it, his eyes just wouldn't stay open more than a crack, and if he kept trying he would just… Just… Something had happened last night, right? Yes, and it had been about Stark, that was why he was here. Not in the bed, maybe, but the building.

He finished the water but not the food, which Banner didn't comment on when he set the plates aside, deciding that he wanted to just sleep for awhile more. Then the door creaked, as if it was trying very hard not to be overheard, and a man slipped through. Oh, my. Well, hello to you. Even sleepy Loki could appreciate that sight. He perked his head up to appreciate the view, wishing he had the energy to smile. Not a hospital, but if he maybe stuck around a little longer… tall, muscular, and gorgeous was worth waking up for.

"Brother!" Oh god damn it. "I am sorry, of course you do not remember- I am your brother, Thor. We were separated just before you lost your memory."

Maybe he was dreaming. There was… brothers? No, he did not remember a sibling, and they looked nothing alike. "Are you- a-are you sure?"

"Yes, of course. Adopted, actually, yet still we are brothers." Which carried something strange with it, more than Loki could decipher right now. "It is a lot to think about, I am sure, and I will happily answer any and all questions soon. But Tony has finally found a private doctor and a lab, and they are waiting for us."

"What?" This was all said mostly to Banner, with a glance or two to Loki, as if trying hard to ensure he was kept involved. "Tony… Stark, of course. Why? I don't want to go anywhere."

"I know, I am sorry, we thought to move you while you slept. If you can rest again you do not need to be awake, but you must come," Thor said. And almost apologetically. Who was he to be ordering him around, and why would Loki agree to go anywhere with these people while he was unconscious?
Because they were brothers, apparently. Loki wouldn't have believed any of it, but he couldn't help trusting him, and he was so tired- besides, Stark would be there. At least he would have someone familiar, even if every time he saw him he seemed to end up fainting. "Why are you bringing me there?"

"You need an MRI, so we can identify what caused that seizure. I promise, it will not take long."

"Why- can't that be any doctor?" A seizure, right. He might not have been in any immediate danger, but Loki had still had a seizure. There was something wrong with his brain, and that was going to really bother him when he was a little less… fuzzy.

Loki had to remember that they were brothers, or it was going to start being very strange that Thor was looking at him like that, and giving his hand a squeeze. Stranger that he was okay with it. "Because the matter is very, well, sensitive."

"Yeah, we uh, kind of think there might be an alien beacon in your head," Banner explained, sort of playing with his hands and shrugging as if to say 'well, what do you do?'

Oh, gods, he just… if he didn't wake up or fall under right this moment then he was going to cry, his mind had never felt so full. Brother, aliens, seizure, doctor, Stark, and no idea where Peter even was. Okay. Okay. "I'm going to go to sleep now," Loki decided, his voice even weaker than his nod as he rolled to his side, trying to think of nothing but the cold pillow.

There was a lot of moving after that. Most of it passed in dreams- bizarre ones, of rocking on huge longships through a roaring ocean, or riding a tossing dragon on a backdrop of storm- with a few flashes of reality, ignored as well he could. The stranger's car that took him to an unfamiliar hospital where a man he didn't know had him lying under a bright light and there were people he knew without knowing, because he was doing his best not to until he thought he could.

And then there was more moving, back to the wrong building, that comfortable bed and just not wanting to care anymore.

Of course, he had to. Loki could try all he liked but he could not ignore what he had heard, nor pretend it hadn't brought him here. So hours later, genuinely awake at last, he lay deep in thought, unsure whether to rouse himself for a confrontation or sneak out in the dark, or just… decipher all this.

He had a brother, apparently. Thor, one of the Avengers, whom he'd heard plenty about, and the name really did fit. He should have been quite excited about that; he had a family, but it came with the guilt of a few hundred lives. And, potentially, some sort of alien device implanted in his head.

Loki's head gave a throb, and he pressed the palm of his hand up against it with a wince. He needed to call Peter. He and May had to be wondering where he was by now, and with the boy's uncanny sense for danger he had to know there was something wrong keeping them apart. It would be safer for him, gods knew, than to stay here in a tower full of the people who had banded together to defeat him. But he couldn't do it. He couldn't even think about facing them now, knowing what he'd done. Somehow he had managed to avoid them both when he'd stumbled in a painful daze out of the building that morning, but if he returned they would undoubtedly cross paths a few dozen times a day and whenever they did he would have to think about how they had no idea a murderer was sharing their spare room.

He should call. He could come up with any number of reasons why he was gone- wasn't there a possibility, something called a fugue state, that he would forget everything since getting amnesia once his memory recovered? Loki supposed the Avengers could help him in fabricating that, since they seemed… invested in his future.

They either wanted him imprisoned, or they had something they needed for him. Either way he could hardly refuse, could he? Yet… Stark had hidden it from him, so discovering what he really was could somehow have put a damper on their plans, if indeed they had any.

Loki shuddered, wrapping the blanket up about his shoulders and trying to ignore that he was seeking comfort he did not deserve. Okay. He had never been alone like this before. It was pathetic, but there had always been someone else holding his hand. That didn't mean he couldn't learn. He had never even filed for a credit card but he could do… this. Whatever this was. He did not even know the next step, except waiting in trembling silence for anyone to come through and tell him what was going to happen to him.

And for some idiotic reason, he hoped it would be Stark.

He knew him, that was all, in both of these bizarre worlds he found himself trapped between. Stark had brought him his name and first introduced the possibility- reality- of who he was, even been the first to bring him into these new medical concerns. He had lied to him, yes, and yet he was there, a little more than was perhaps appropriate, even. He had known that Loki was wrong and shown his hatred for all he'd done before, while acknowledging that… he did not want to be blamed. He knew he deserved it entirely, gods knew he deserved it, he just- he did not want to havedone anything, and even knowing he had he was so afraid of whatever would come.

A deep, deep breath. Loki had no desire to have another- incident, he'd just call it that- so he took a few of those, turning on his side and breathing inward, almost relaxed when a hand came down on his shoulder.

His body moved like a whip against his control, striking the touch away and snapping upright, shit, nearly tipping off the mattress- What? Stark was in his room, staring at him in surprise. Loki gaped back, and the man threw his arms up defensively. "Who, okay! Sorry, I just thought we had a sort of- you know what, no touching, that's fine."

"What are you doing here?" Loki demanded, breathlessly baffled. His heart should have been hammering in fear, why was there relief there too?

"JARVIS called."

"JARVIS."

"That would be me, Sir Loki." Oh, right, the omnipotent AI. "You said Mr. Stark's name at least six times in succession without any apparent motive, and I deemed it wise to alert him to the fact."

Loki could have done without that knowledge, really. "And you came. Why?"

"You are an incredibly suspicious person, you know that? You've had a shitty day," the Avenger pointed out, shrugging and taking a seat on the bed as though he… well, he did own it. Gods, he needed to get home, if he even had one. "Besides, we have a lot to talk about with you. If you want, I'll call up the others."

This time when Stark reached for him, Loki didn't fight it. "Please don't. I am having a hard enough time talking to just you right now and I know that's just pathetic but-" He didn't want to cry in front of Tony; or at all, actually. Yet he would rather sob his eyes out like a child before the whole world before he took even a chance of encountering the archer again. "What did they find?"

A normal man would have insisted that the doctor come in here and explain properly, or at least that Loki's only family be permitted to come and share the news. Thankfully this one was entirely tactless, and only hesitated for a second. "You remember the Chitauri?"

"I know of them."

"Right. Well, when you were down on Earth doing all their busy work they needed a way to talk with you, so they put- or you did, honestly we have no idea- a machine in your head. Now they're trying to use it again, presumably to find or use you so they can get back down. When they do it sends off interference in your brain, which is causing those seizures and unchecked will probably kill you in… months, maybe a year. We can have it out in an hour, tops."

Stark's hand had grown tense, and the nervous coil of his body gave off an almost physical wave of unease, but his voice was calm. A device, planted in his head. There had to be more to it (who would create a communications system that killed its users? How did such a thing even work?) that he did not at the moment care to hear. Loki nodded, slowly as he could. "And there is a catch, I presume?"

Stark smiled at that, all one-sided with a sort of pained crinkle by the eye. "Get that, did you? Yeah, there is. The thing goes both ways, so while it's active I can track the signal back and hopefully get a location on the Chitauri so we can deal with them before they come any closer to our planet. We can't take another hit like you gave us. We'd survive, sure, we're durable people, but we wouldn't do it well. And it… needs you to be active."

It needed to stay where it was, dragging him toward his grave, in other words. "So- you… you won't remove it?" Two desperate pleas were pounding in Loki's throat, begging him to say no, say yes, and somehow all he could think was that the snow was falling faster beyond that window, and nobody was home to help May shovel the path.

"That's up to you. Even if Thor would allow it, we're supposed to be the good guys. We don't force people to slowly kill themselves for our science experiments. Some of us might want to, but it's not going to happen."

Oh. They weren't telling him to die for this, for them, they were asking it. To make the decision to slowly grow weaker and sicker as some foreignthing in his brain rebelled against him. Why? Loki had caused all this, he had tried to conquer a planet, how could they allow its future to depend on his choice?

He did not want to die.

He did not want them to die, either.

In less than a breath, a swarm of questions ran through Loki's mind: How was the device supposed to be killing him, how did they even know the threat was there, why did it need to stay in his head for them to track it, would they be able to do their work before he was ever in any real danger?

It didn't matter. None of it, except that he believed Stark was telling as much of the truth as they knew. He didn't even need to think, which was a blessing- he hadn't wanted this choice, and having none soothed him deeply. "I'll do it."

"You know what that's gonna mean, right?" Stark's eyes were almost comically wide, and why not? Loki was still reeling with how quickly the answer had come. "It's going to be painful. I'm really good at this, bragging fully intended, but even if I have all this settled in a week that's still one week of shit. Whatever's going on in there might be permanent too."

"Then you'll just have to take care of me, won't you?" In all honesty, it was meant to be a joke, but when he felt the plea in his chest Loki didn't bother to hide it. He felt… cold, a little numb, and there was so much rising up on him. He couldn't bear a tide like that without help, and he knew there were plenty who were willing to give it, yet Thor was some otherworldly grand thing, frightening, and Peter, Gwen, May, they just cared toomuch.

He was scared. He could feel it, slowly creeping up through him, biding its time and digging long claws into his gut. There was so much more to face and know waiting to push him over the edge; some might bring him peace, but now he just… needed something simple.

And by yet another miracle he did not deserve, Stark reached out and gave it.