WHAT HAVE WE DONE?

BY LILY BOOKMARKS

BASED ON WHAT DID I JUST ORDER? BY EasataeTheTerribleGirl

CHAPTER 1

My name is Lily. I live with my big sister, Arabelle, in a large apartment in New York City, and we are both major Hetalia fangirls. We're on our own, ever since our abusive parents died and left us the apartment. I blame the alcohol. No sooner than the adults left our lives that I had dumped 8 bottles of wine and other assorted liquors down the kitchen drain, and stored the rest in a safe place, because I'm underage, and Arabelle refuses to drink. But that's off topic.

I was in the shower one day, and Arabelle was on her laptop. I had just wrapped a towel around my body when Arabelle yelled in excitement.

"Lily! You've got to come see what I just ordered!"

I groaned. "Arabelle, what did I tell you about ordering stuff without my consent?"

"But this is worth it!"

I shuffled my bare feet across the wooden floor and a rug to the futon, where Arabelle was bouncing up and down with glee.

"Check it out! I just ordered us a set of G8 units, whatever those are."

I looked at the screen. "What are they? Minifigures?"

"I think so."

Even so, I had my doubts. I had read books like this: an innocent girl orders Hetalia units, thinking they were toys, and they end up with the real thing.

" Delivery arrives in 2-4 buisness days." I read out loud.

Before I could react, Arabelle shouted, "I call Arthur!"

"Hey! Then I call Alfred!" I said playfully. This continued on until only Francis was left, because neither of us wanted him. To make it even, I stuck Francis on Arabelle, even though she was his sister. I thought about how much "Fun" I could have with them. (Interpret that any way you like)

Oh, happy days await.

CHAPTER 2

(A few days later)

I was rocking out to "Kick the Can" by London Bus Stop in a baggy hoodie and jeans when the doorbell rang. I ran into the back room and pulled out a crowbar from my Half Life days. Looking through the peephole was a man in a minty green outfit. I unlocked the deadbolt and put my crowbar between my legs.

"Sign here." he said, and shoved a board in my face. I scribbled a sloppy signature on the paper and gave it back. He handed me a cardboard box, and was on his way.

"ARABELLE! ONE OF THE UNITS IS HERE!" I screamed. She raced down the stairs in a Legend of Zelda nightgown.

"Which one is it?"

"According to this booklet, we got the Ivan Braginski unit." I skimmed the booklet, reading as fast as I could.

"How well can you imitate Belarus?"

"Pretty well."

"Okay, get on the side of the box." I said, prying the lid off carefully. "If I aim this right, he should jump right into my arms. Go!"

Arabelle put on her spookiest voice. "Big brother, the lid that was keeping us apart is gone. Isn't that nice?"

Instantly, a small blur shot out of the box and latched onto my face. I fell over the table and onto the floor, screaming.

"Go away! Go away! Go away! Go away!" it shouted. It was indeed a minifigure Ivan, about 1 foot high, but it was imbued with life.

It was staring me in the eyes, those beautiful, violet orbs were looking at me.

CHAPTER 3

Once he realized that I was not Natalya, he unlatched from my face and crawled down my leg to the floor. We had decided early on that Ivan was mine, because Arabelle couldn't handle his creepy mode.

"Well, aren't you just adorable!" Arabelle squealed.

"Hey, back off! We agreed that Ivan was mine."

"Yeah, along with all the hotties. Why did I get Ludwig?"

"Because he's YOUR brother."

"But he's scary!"

"So? You got Arthur, my favorite. Man up."

Defeated, she took her place on the futon and turned on the TV. She flipped over to "1000 Ways to Die." Curious, Ivan sat down beside her. I heard another ring of the doorbell. It was the same guy.

"Here are the rest of your units." he said, and shoved a bunch of boxes in my face, then closed the door. I tumbled down on the floor for the second time today.

"Are you okay?" Ivan asked.

I spread the units out on the coffee table, deciding which to open first, when something occurred to me: There was two extra units: A Canada unit and a Prussia unit.

Wait, a Prussia unit?

I swore under my breath. Prussia was the last minifigure on my christmas list, especially if he was a living thing. I glanced over to Arabelle, who was laughing along with Ivan at her demented show. We both hated his guts for different reasons; Arabelle because he was arrogant and scary, and I hated him because he was a perv. I played a game of eeney meanie miney moe with the boxes, and it was just my luck I picked the Prussia box.

"Arabelle, brace yourself. I'm going to open the Gilbert box."

She paled, and her slit pupils narrowed. "P-Prussia's in that box?"

"Apparently so."

I pried the lid off the box, and something small latched onto my face.

Again.

CHAPTER 4

"Aggh! Get him off! Get this sick pervert off me!" I screamed, and knocked my head against the table.

"Hey, I'm no pervert! I'm just awesome!" he said, as I slammed my head against the wall repeatedly, trying to get him to let go. He eventually did, and went off to harass my sister.

"Okay, who's next?" I said, out of breath. This time, it was the Arthur unit. I prepared to get another unit to the face, but when I opened the box, he was just there, sleeping adorably. I could feel my rape face creeping up on me. Stupid French ancestry.

Now's my chance. While he was snoozing, and Arabelle was busy with Gilbert trying to grope her shoe, I slipped Arthur into my oversized pocket, and moved onto the next box, the Alfred unit.

I was prepared this time. When I opened the box, I ducked, and a one foot tall Alfred went sailing through the air and faceplanted into the futon. I guess all the units were technically considered minifigures, considering they were all more or less a foot tall. I pulled him out of the cushions, and told him to go play with Arabelle.

"Let me open a couple of units, sis." Arabelle said.

Arabelle's P.O.V

Next was the Francis unit. I knew what he was like. I slowly opened the box, and from underneath the packing peanuts, a hand shot out and grabbed my arm. I shrieked, but I calmed down once I realized it was not a monster that wanted to eat me.

"Ah, mon cher, mind telling me where I am?" He said. I was annoyed with him already, plus, I felt like he was going to rape me the first chance he got.

"You're inside a futon!" I yelled, and stuffed him into said futon. I opened the Matthew unit as fast as I could. He was kinda cute, but I put him on the table and went to the next unit. I didn't duck this time. The Feliciano unit came out of his box and crawled up my arm, which I didn't really mind. The Kiku unit just walked off in a random direction, as well as the Yao unit.

Now, the moment I had been dreading since I ordered these units. Time to open the Ludwig unit.

CHAPTER 5

Slower than ever, I opened the box, to find a sleeping Ludwig. Causiously, I picked the minifigure up.

"Actually, he's kinda cute. I don't know why I was ever afraid of him." I thought to myself.

"PUT ME DOWN!" the unit yelled at me, and focused those piercing eyes on me. I could feel my flesh burning already.

"GHAH!" I screamed, and dropped him on his face. He was THAT scary. I looked down, and I found Arthur headed for the door.

"Oh no you don't!" I yelled, and caught him with two other unit boxes with the words "EXPERIENTAL" stamped on them. Curious, I read the labels, and was shocked. There was a me unit, and a Pirate!Arthur unit. We hadn't counted on those, but then again, we hadn't counted on Canada or Prussia either. Quietly, I slipped the boxes under my gown, and headed to the loft.

When I got upstairs to the loft, I was disturbed to find Prussia hugging Artie, my British stuffed penguin.

"You didn't tell me you had a giant black Gilbird!" he said, amused. I was not amused.

"He's no Gilbird! Get off of Artie!" I yelled, and pried Prussia off of Artie.

"Okay, Mr. Arrogant, let's get something straight. Touch my stuff, especially Artie, and you DIE." I put a little fire into my eyes for emphasis.

Shivering in fear, he stammered, "M-may I at least ask a question?"

"What?" I asked, irritated.

"Why does your 'Artie' wear a Union Jack pin?"

I gasped, and felt myself blush. I had secretly named my penguin after Arthur, because I loved him to pieces. Of course I would never admit this.

"N-no reason. Now get out!" I yelled, and threw his little body down the spiral staircase. I dusted Artie off, and hugged him tight.

I heard a knock at the door.

"Not more units!" I muttered.

CHAPTER 6

"What do you mean there was a mix up?" I said to the mint claid guy on my doorstep.

"Well, we seem to have sent you a Pirate!Arthur mini unit by mistake, when we meant to send you this full size Arthur unit instead."

"You mean that the units we have now are mini units?"

"Yes. Do you still have the Pirate!Arthur mini unit in your possesion?"

"Yep, he's right here." I said, and handed him the box. In exchange, he gave me a huge crate.

"Have a nice day." I said, and closed the door.

How the fluff was I going to get this crate up the stairs without letting Lily know about it?

Causiously, I picked up the box and put all my strength into carrying it up to my room. Luckilly, Lily was preoccupied with my brother, France, and him trying to hit on her. I almost felt sorry for the overconfident bugger.

As soon as I got the crate upstairs, I collapsed on my bed from exhaustion. I skimmed over the booklet as fast as I could, and chose the "Saving Grace" method. As soon as I played the song, I heard glorious humming from the box. Slowly, I pried off the lid, and there he was in all his British glory. I could hear "Toxic" playing in my ears, and I didn't have my Ipod in.

He turned to look at me. "Was that you playing the music?"

I couldn't speak, just stand there, blushing and stuttering like a moron. "Um, um, um, yes?" I stammered.

He stared at me. "And you're American?"

"N-no. My side of the family is from Luxembourg. My sister is American."

He smiled. "Well, it's good to see SOMEONE with good taste." He got out of the box. "I assume you know who I am, considering YOU ordered me."

My smile grew wider. "Y-yeah. You're Arthur Kirkland, and I'm you're biggest fan." I said, trying not to sound like the creepy fangirl I actually was.

CHAPTER 7

I just stared at him, trying not to look desperate or creepy. THE Arthur Kirkland, the one I only dreamt about, was in MY room.

"Arabelle, I need your help with dinner tonight!"

I was snapped out of my dream, what a shame. I couldn't let Lily know about Arthur, or she would kill me. Oh well.

"Okay, come on. I'll just have to be a man." I said, and led Arthur down the stairs.

"Arabelle, why is THE Arthur Kirkland at your side?" Lily questioned.

"Well..." I said, and told her the story of how he got here.

"HE CAME WITH THE DELIVERY?" she yelled.

"That's what I said."

"Oh, that's just stupid!"

"Mabye, but he's not without... entertainment value." I purred seductively.

"Oh, please don't do what I think you're gonna do." Lily said.

I gave her a questioning look. "What did you think I was going to do?"

She blushed. "I can't say."

"Eww." I said, getting what she meant. "I would never think of doing something like that to a gentleman." I looked at him encouragingly. "Unless he wanted it."

Hey took a step away from me. "No thank you."

"Aww."

But I was not going to give up easily.

CHAPTER 8

"What's for dinner?" I said.

"It's British night, so fish sticks and freedom fries." Lily said. We liked to have meals centered around different cultures, and Friday was always British night.

Suddenly, I saw a silver blur crawl across her back. I plucked Prussia off her blouse, gave him a stern glare, and dropped him on the ground.

After dinner was made

"Apparently, I have to set some rules around here." I said to the mini units and Arthur, who were sitting around the table, enjoying their meal.

"Rule one is set primarily for Prussia and France. I will not tolerate rape or any other form of sexual harrasment in this household. Yaoi, however, will be tolerated, so long as the article in question is brought to me first. Violation of this rule is punishable by a swift beating with whatever I have in my have at the time."

The two looked at each other with a little fright in their eyes.

"Rule two. Do not eat what I make without my permission. This includes cakes, cookies, skore bar, and Kool Aid pops. Violation of this rule is also punishable by a swift beating with whatever I have in my hand at the time."

Alfred looked down with guilt.

"Rule three. Do not, under any circumstances, EVER, read what I have written on my laptop. While many of you would go blind, others would simply be scarred for life. Punishment is self explanitory. Violation of this rule is whatever horrible fate you get from being exposed to my writing, I'm just here to give the warning."

Everyone except Lily exchanged nervous glances. Lily and I both knew very well that I was bluffing.

CHAPTER 9

After dinner

"I am SO going to beat you in this race!" Lily said arrogantly, mainly to tick me off.

"No way! You never beat me at Mario Kart!" I said. It was true, she never had. Most of the mini units had gone to explore the upstairs, but Alfred and Matthew were taking a stab at trying to beat us, with Alfred manning the letter buttons and Matthew steering. Prussia and France had called next turn as well.

"Ha ha! Green shell attack!" Alfred shouted, and a green shell soared across my DS screen. I dodged it, and it bounced its way around the track, only to fall off a cliff.

"Missed me! Banana peel strike!" I said, and let my banana chain fly behind me like an endtrail, breaking them off at crucial turns in the track. I watched my opponents fly around the track, out of control, and Lily fell off the cliff, only to respawn in third place.

Suddenly, something covered my eyes, and I started screaming. "Hey, that's cheating! Get off me!"

"Non non, mon cherie. You promised Prussia and I a turn."

I peeled Francis off my face and flung him across the room. Suddenly, I heard cardboard ripping from upstairs. Fearing for Artie's life, I paused the game and rushed upstairs. There, in the middle of some burnt up cardboard, was a miniature version of me, curl and all. The mini unit was flaming mad.

"Where is he? Where is that arrogant dumkoff? I'll rip him to shreds for leaving me in this box so long!" the unit screeched.

"Hey, hey! Calm down! Prussia isn't here!" I said.

"Liar! I heard his voice! Who are you, and why do you look so much like me, anyway?"

"I AM you!"

CHAPTER 10

"I don't believe you! If you really are me, what happens when someone pulls my curl?"

"Easy. If it's England, I collapse on the floor in a lovesick daze. If it's anyone else, I slap their hand away and punch them in the face."

"That was an easy one. What was my weapon until after World War 2?"

"A pair of modified gloves that housed knives as claws."

"Lastly, Why did the Belgian Revolution leave my country so small?"

I had to think about that one. "In a battle with my sister, my hair was severed, and I never fully regrew it. That hair represented more than half the land currently owned by me. To hide my shame, I blamed my appearance on a growth stunt."

The mini unit lost her angry aura and set her weapon, which was a plastic golf club, down. "You really are me. But if you're me, why are you so tall?"

"Because you're a minifigure. If you don't believe me, come with me to the living room."

The mini me hopped up onto my shoulder and I walked down the spiral staircase. Francis and Gilbert had hijacked my DS, and were miserably failing at racing.

"Give me that!" I said, and shook the two off the console. "I told you that your turn was after the Grand Prix. It's time for bed anyway." I said, glancing at the clock. It was already 10:00. I turned off the TV, gathered up all the mini units, and planted them on my bed.

I looked around my room, trying to find some stuffed animals to slit open. I finally gathered up enough animals for each unit to have their own bed. Reaching under my own bed, I pulled out a knife(My bed seems to have a hammer space effect, meaning that I can pull anything out from under it.) and sliced each animal at the seams. I planted one of the mini units in each bed, and scattered them around the room.

I settled into the sheets of my own bed, and fell asleep almost instantly.

CHAPTER 11

I woke up at maybe 5:00, on a Saturday. What possessed me to do so is still a mystery to me. I leapt up from my bed and slid into my rolling chair to my desk. I opened up my laptop lid and checked my shared email, as I always did. 1 unread email from contacts. I opened it up, and got a nasty surprise.

"Hi, Lily! I'm coming down to visit tomorrow because my parents won't get off my case. See you soon!"

Rubicon 9 of Hearts

„Oh, das ist schlecht, so sehr, sehr schlecht" I muttered, and started pacing around the room. I had a tendency to speak different languages when in different moods, and German was my worried or angry language. It runs in the family, and it couldn't be helped.

Rubicon couldn't come here, not without discovering the units, anyway. Lily had tried to convince her to try Hetalia many times before, but to no avail. She was too obsessed with something else at the time to even care. She would flip if she saw a bunch of little countries that she didn't know.

I took a breath to assess the situation. On the good side, Rubicon lived about 5 hours from here, so I had time to come up with a solution. On the bad side, she would eventually discover the units, if not the minute she walked through the door. I had to let Lily know about this.

Quietly weaving my way through the minefield of stuffed animal beds, I pried the door to Lily's room open. My sister had a strict privacy policy. I slowly shook her awake, even though she hit me over the head with a plastic bat.

"What do you want? The good anime doesn't come on for another three hours." she mumbled angrily.

"Rubicon is coming over for a visit tomorrow."

She shot up in her bed, wild eyed. "Rubicon kommt?"

"Yes. We have to hide the units."

(A/N: The first phrase translates into: "Oh, this is bad. This is very, very bad." The second phrase translates into: "Rubicon is coming?")

CHAPTER 12

"How are we going to hide, not only a full grown man, but 11 other units as well?" Lily asked.

"I don't know. But before we freak out, our anime is coming on. Maybe watching that will help us think of a solution."

After two hours of anime, and Lily roleplaying along, we finally came up with a solution.

"Okay, I have a solution." Lily said. "We simply sew Prussia and France inside their stuffed animals, and hide the others."

I gave her a blank face. "Lily, they would suffocate. Then we would be murderers. I don't want to murder the Arthur unit."

"Why would you even consider that?" a small voice uttered from behind the futon. I glanced in the direction of the voice, and was stunned to find the Alfred unit hiding behind the futon.

"Let's have a little talk, Alfred." I said, and put him on my lap. "Lily's cousin is coming today, and she can't see you or your friends."

"Why not?"

"She would flip out if she saw you, but not the Leo doll I had promised her for her birthday. I don't know how she would cope. I need you to do me a favor. Go wake up the other units, and gather them in the living room. With all our combined thoughts, we can come up with a solution."