Poisoned Apples Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Still not mine! But I'm going to watch them film tomorrow, so yay!

A/N: Thank you guys so much for still sticking around for this story! I know it sucks balls when an author doesn't update, so I'm really honored and grateful that I'm still getting a positive response and that you guys want to see more! I'm definitely going to see this story through to the end, it just might take a lot of chapters since I accidentally created a billion plot lines and I want to make sure everything is touched upon. I hope you enjoy! 3

Previously:

"But Thomas was dead by then." Ryan pointed out.

"But she didn't know that." Esposito argued, "Maybe this...Zoe Shields knew what Thomas was up to before he died."

"Well, it's a stronger lead than anything else we have, let's go."

The two detectives grabbed their coats and set out to Zoe Shield's address.

He was going to set the wall paper on fire. Every last little cheerful flower was going up in flames. He was pretty sure he could do it with his eyes if he tried hard enough. At the very least, it'd be a better activity than staring at the wall with no ulterior motive as he'd been doing for the past five hours.

"Sir."

Someone was talking to him, but they didn't matter. No one could stop his laser-fire powers now. That wall paper was going down.

"Excuse me, sir."

This time the annoying intrusion was accompanied by a gentle hand on his shoulder, so he indulged and broke his face off with the taunting floral patterns.

The nurse on duty looked at him with poorly-masked pity, but understandably so. The man before her sat slumped in wrinkled clothes, disheveled hair, and sunken, red eyes.

"Visiting hours will be over soon, so if you're here to see someone, I suggest you go now."

Her words were not unkind, but they stung Castle just the same. How long had he been sitting here, staring into space, while Kate sat alone in her hospital room? Suddenly he felt just as guilty as when they brought her in at the beginning of the day. Maybe he should just go home. Even after all her reassurance, there was no way she'd want to see him. Even if she'd truly forgiven him for the concussion, he'd basically abandoned her for the better part of the day because of his own cowardice. Jim, Lanie, the boys, Alexis, and Martha had all been in to check on her and bring her small tokens of love, but Richard Castle, the man who claimed to love her, had sat his ass in the waiting room.

"Um," he stuttered, "I think I'll just, uh, head out." Castle reached around gingerly to grab his coat.

"Alright then, sir," the nurse nodded, "have a good night."

Each of the nurses steps as she walked away echoed in his head, leading him further and further away from doing what he knew he needed to.

"Excuse me." Castle managed.

The nurse politely turned around and Castle swore he saw a glint of triumph in her eyes.

"There's a patient here," Castle spoke slowly, "Katherine Beckett." The nurse nodded waiting for him to continue. His next words seemed to take his entire body of energy and will. "Can you see if she's still seeing people?"

"Of course, sir." she replied with a smile, "right away."

Ryan and Esposito jumped out of their car and practically ran up the steps of the upper west side brownstone apartment. This case came with its own amount of extra pressure, but with Kate out of commission for the time being, they were desperate for this lead to go somewhere. Reaching the intercom, Esposito pressed the button for Zoe Shields' apartment.

"Hello?"

"Ms. Shields, NYPD, we'd like to ask you a few questions about a Thomas Dalton."

"Um, okay?" she replied, "Just give me a sec."

The buzzer sounded and the detectives made their way up to apartment 3B.

Castle stood hesitatingly outside room 305. He hated himself for how he felt. The nurse told him Kate wanted to see him, so why was he still standing there like an idiot?

"Because you don't deserve her." Deep breath.

"Because even if she forgives you, you're never going to forgive yourself." Deep breath.

"Because you still want to run away from all this." Fuck it.

His soft knocks against the door rang like thunder in his ears so loudly that he almost didn't hear Kate's soft 'come in.'

No turning back now.

Castle pushed the door open and stepped inside, almost not letting himself look up at his girlfriend, but deciding that was ridiculous.

"Hey." Kate whispered.

"Hey." he replied.

The silence felt tense and awkward to him, but Kate's smile told him otherwise and he took it as an invitation to move next to her.

Kate almost laughed as he moved the chair to sit by her side. His delicate care to not scrape the chair across the floor or make any loud noises would've been hilarious under other circumstances.

"I'm glad you're here." said Kate.

Castle looked up, not expecting her words.

"Really?" he asked. "You're not mad?"

"Castle, how many times do I have to tell you before you're convinced?"

"Well…"

"Don't answer that." she cut him off, but immediately regretted her choice of words at the ashamed sag in his expression.

"Rick, look at me."

Every muscle in his body said no, but his instincts followed Kate wherever they led, and so he obeyed.

"I should've come earlier." he forced out. "I should've been here for you."

"I was wondering if you'd come," Kate admitted, "I thought I'd be mad, but honestly I'm just so relieved you didn't run away."

Kate almost didn't believe those words left her mouth. They never had honest conversations like this about their relationship. Ever.

Castle seemed to be processing her response instead of looking defeated and she took it as a sign that maybe this latest trip to the hospital was the push he needed to really start talking to her about everything that was going on.

She turned away to let him think in peace and was shocked when she felt his hand gently take hers; his fingers slipping in-between her own in loving reassurance. The gesture was so small, but Kate felt herself tearing at his touch. She thought he might never reach out to her ever again.

"I thought about it," Castle whispered, "I thought about how easy it would be to just leave. Everyone was going in to see you and looking out for each other and I just wondered for a moment what would happen if I got up and walked out."

Kate laced her fingers tighter, squeezing his hand and drawing circles with her thumb.

"Jesus, Kate, I know I sound like a broken record, but I don't think I can do this, and with every damn second, I feel less and less sure and I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do."

Tears escaped both their eyes in a frustrated release.

"I don't know what to say to make this better, Rick." Kate cried, "I don't know how to make you see that none of this is your fault, I don't know how to tell you how scared I am, I don't know how to fix this one."

"Kate,"

"No, Rick, shh, just listen," she pleaded, "I've been thinking about this all day, and you know what, you're right, I probably should be furious, and I guess maybe a small part of me is, but whenever I was alone today, all I could think about was the night we got together. That feeling, of everything falling out from under me and not knowing if I was going to make it through the next three seconds let alone the next three days. Nothing made sense then, and I know nothing makes sense now, but you battled for me then. You yelled and screamed and pushed and it saved my life and I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need you, Rick. I need you to let me push you now because I can't do this alone, and I know you definitely can't do this alone and I just wish that,"

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"Castle?"

"I'm so, so sorry, Kate," he whimpered, "for everything. Everything."

"I need you to promise me you won't run away again." she insisted, "I know that sounds stupid coming from me, but please promise me."

"I promise." he spurted unconvincingly. He took a deep breath at the look in her eyes and forced himself to find the tiny little part of him that actually believed those words.

"I promise."

And he did. He really did.

"Thank you for seeing us, Ms. Shields." said Ryan as they sat down.

"It's no problem, but I'm not sure what I can tell you," Zoe replied, "I didn't know very much about him.

Ryan and Esposito took in her appearance. Zoe was a tall brunette with striking blue eyes that eerily reminded them of someone.

"Can I ask what this is about?" she asked.

"Thomas Dalton was murdered just before he planned to meet with you." Esposito revealed, slipping back into interview mode.

"Oh my God, that's terrible. I had no idea."

"Do you have any idea what he wanted to meet with you about?" Ryan asked.

"Um, I'm really not entirely sure," said Zoe, "when he first contacted me, he said he was working on a genealogy project. I told him I had no idea who he was, but he seemed to think I could help him."

At the mention of genealogy, Ryan glanced over at his partner and saw they were thinking the exact same thing. Zoe's features reminded them a little of Castle. Maybe Thomas contacted Zoe because he figured out they were related some how?

"Really, a genealogy project?" Ryan asked, "did he say why?"

"No, but I just assumed he was curious. I went through the phase myself, not know who my dad was and all." said Zoe, "I think that's why I agreed to meet him. He didn't know his dad either and he wanted to try to find out more about his family. I understood."

Ryan and Esposito were practically vibrating with excitement.

"Ms. Shields, this is going to sound strange, but would you mind coming with us and letting one of our forensics team take a DNA sample?" Esposito asked.

"DNA?" Zoe panicked, "But I didn't do anything!"

"No, no!" Ryan stepped in, "don't worry, you didn't do anything wrong, but Thomas's family tree is turning out to be an integral part of his case and it would really help us if we could find out if you two were indeed related."

Zoe seemed to ponder the idea for a moment, but eventually, the sincere determination in the detectives' looks persuaded her to grab her coat.

"Martha told me you two finally talked a little."

Kate's voice bounced gently in the new peaceful bubble they'd created. Amidst talking, Castle'd moved up onto the bed behind her and she now sat cradled in his arms, his soothing touch simultaneously lulling her to sleep and keeping her awake per the doctor's orders. The wall clock on the other side of the room was too dark to read, but she guessed it was about one or two am. The halls were quiet and it'd been quite a while since the nurse came in to make sure she wasn't sleeping and discovered Castle still there past visiting hours. She'd simply shrugged and told them as long as Castle kept her awake, he could stay. Kate owed her big time, she needed Castle over night.

"Yeah, a little." he sighed.

"How'd it go?" she asked.

"It went." he replied.

"Castle," she prodded softly.

"Sorry, I know we said no holding back tonight." Castle paused. "We're better,"

"But…" Kate encouraged.

"But there's still a lot to work through."

Kate wasn't sure what to say after that and it was clear their conversation went pretty much as she expected, so she decided to drop the subject for now. They'd clearly passed the apology stage, and now it was a matter of time and remaining open - something she didn't have very much experience with in terms of a parent. All things considered, Castle did much better than she did when her dad started drinking.

She snuggled back into his chest, enjoying the warmth and his relaxation in her presence when an unwelcome buzz from her bedside table interrupted her moment.

"It's Ryan." said Kate as she reached over to grab her phone.

"You think they found something?" Castle asked, half hoping, half dreading.

"I don't know." she answered the phone, "Beckett."

"Hey, Beckett, how's it going in sleep lockup?"

"Funny, Ryan," she smirked, "What's going on?"

"Email and phone records came back from the victims and we found an odd sock, so we went to follow though,"

"And?" Beckett asked eagerly.

"Well, it's not confirmed yet, we're still waiting for Lanie to finish the DNA results," Ryan replied, "but we may have found one of Castle's half-sisters…alive."

WOOHOO! Well, this definitely beats my last update gap. :P Please let me know if you enjoyed it, I really hope you did! Thanks again for sticking around. There are many adventures to come! Xoxoxoxo