God I've gone awhile. Forgive me? You will after this. It's inspired by Big Bang Theory~ WHO DOESN'T LOVE THAT SHOW? But don't worry for you weridos who don't watch it, and the foreign people who can't~ You don't need to see it to understand, for those who have seen it will get most of the jokes. Now on with the story!

Antonio was a man of science. He believed everything thing was explainable, and everything should be handled with rational thinking. He also believed that he was above sexual arousal and love. How could he not? A mind a perfect and genius as his was not one to be involved in primal things such as sex. He believed that if he did ever have sex it would only for the sake of reproduction, not pleasure.
So when Antonio found himself sexually aroused by everthing a certain person did he was surprised. No, that's not the right word... Befuddled. Yes, he was befuddled. He was surprised when he was aroused to a man. How could a man produce him a heir to his genius mind? He blamed Francis. It was all Francis' fault. If Francis hadn't forced him to out to the club with him (When it was clearly Assassin's Creed night.) he wouldn't have met him. Not that he wasn't glad he had met him, but the fact remains! It all started about 3 days ago...

"Yo Toni!" Antonio's roommate Gilbert called as he walked into their apartment. Gilbert and Antonio were about as different as two people could b. Antonio was rude without realizing it, while Gilbert did realize it. Antonio was quiet yet excitable while Gilbert was loud and always excited. Antonio was smart while Gilbert was just really nerdy. But somehow they stayed the best of friends.

Antonio sighed straightening his glasses. "Yes, Gilbert?" He asked, his tone giving away his slight annoyance.

"I have a surprise for you! Close your eyes!"

"Are you going to punch me?" Antonio asked.

"Why would I punch you?" Gilbert asked

"Well growing up, my brother Alvarez would say he had a surprise for me and that I should close my eyes. And when I did he would punch me."

"I'm not going to punch you."

"That's what he said!" Antonio cried

"Just close your eyes!" Gilbert said. Antonio rolled his eyes but closed them. Gilbert put a picture in his lap. "Open them!" Antonio opened his eyes.

"What's this?" He asked.

"It's a picture of a mall, that Francis' cousin Feliciano owns a store in. The store is a hair salon and a clothing store all in one~ And you and I are getting makeovers."

"Isn't that, I dunno... Girly?" Antonio asked.

"That's what I said, but the store is a men's store. So no, it's not." Gilbert said as a matter of factly.

"Why do you one anyway?"

"Well I'm already awesome and sexy so I figured I could be even more awesome and sexy, and you need some serious help, if you ever want to get laid, like me and Franny do."

"You and Fran don't get sex. Well maybe from each other…." said

"Hey! I told you! He never touched my giant telescope!"

"Sounds like your sexlife. And besides, I have no interest in sexual inntercourse. And my look is just fine thank you." Antonio said frowning.
Actually Antonio did need help. He rarely cut his hair and instead just threw it back in a short ponytail. He also had big glasses that didn't suit his face. Gilbert wasn't the greatest either, his hair was always messy and greasy and his glasses were just too goofy looking.

"Dude. Just come on! Please?" Gilbert said pulling out puppy dog eyes. Antonio knew this was a lost battle.

_

Antonio had gone in the end. They had cut off his hair giving him bangs and a very shaggy hairstyle. They had also gotten him new glasses. He gave a shudder when he saw they were hipster glasses, and he only wears them when he's alone, so he wear contacts now.

"Oh hon~ Newly sexy men~" Francis called from the doorway.

"Let me in~ I have some great news~" Gilbert jumped letting his friend into the apartment.

"Yo fran, thank your cousin for the new dos again from yesterday will ya?" Gilbert said.

"Thank him yourself tonight~ He invited us to a new club~ His twin Lovino will be coming also~" Francis said.

"That cutie has a twin? Oh hell yes!" Gilbert said happily.

"Don't get your hopes up, Lovino is very... Interesting. He's not your type. So are we going then?"

"Yes!"

"No."

"What? Come on Toni! You need to get laid, and you can now with your sexy new look~~" Gilbert said.

"Oui, please Antonioe? It would mean a lot~"

"Yeah, don't make me pull the puppy dog eyes again."

Antonio sighed. "Fine."

_

Antonio was not having a good time. At all. The music was loud, and the drinks were bitter and he could barely see through all the smoke in the club, not to mention the pants Francis forced him into were much too tight, and to top it off Francis' cousin were late.

"Oh lighten up! This club is kicking!" Gilbert said.

"I just think it's rude to pick a time and be late." Antonio said frowning.

"Vee! Hey! Sorry we're late~" Feliciano said coming into view. Feli was pretty cute, but he was nothing special. Antonio's eyes drifted to the boy next to Feliciano. While he looked like Feliciano, he was different. His eyes were bright gold instead of brown. Antonio couldn't take his eyes off the boy. "Ve this is my brother Lovino~ Lovino, this is Gibert and Antonio~"

"Ciao"

"Who." Antonio said quietly. Lovino looked at him funny.

"Well, I'm gonna go get a drink..." Lovino said walking away. Antonio kept his eyes locked on his ass.

"Who... Franny, something's wrong!"

"Hmm? What?" Francis asked

"My cheeks are flushed, my hands are sweaty, my heart rate has picked up and I keep saying who. This can only mean one thing!" Francis grinned!

"Oh yes! It does!" He finally got turned on by someone!

"I have the flu coupled with sudden tourette's syndrome!" Francis facepalmed.

"No! You're attracted to someone!" Francis said.

"That's impossible! It only started when Lovino started talking."

"So you're attracted to Lovino?" Francis asked.

"What? No! I'm not. He's just got really pretty eyes that remind me ofstars, and a really nice butt, and that I would love to see him naked doesn't mean I'm a- well fuck." Antonio cut himself off. "I feel so... Animalistic. Is this what it's like being a normal, primal human?" Antonio asked, and Francs smiled nodding. "Well then I believe it's time I try to engage in cortis." Antonio said getting up, and walking over to Lovno at the bar.

Lovino looked over as Antonio sat next to him. "Can I help you?" He asked bitterly.

Antonio fumbled over his words for a moment, and decided just to let his animal instincts he's been fighting for his life simply take over.

"No, I just have a question." he said, his voice smoothing

"Hmm?" He asked

"Well, do you happen to be seeing anyone?" Antonio asked.

"Not at the moment." Lovino said, his eyes traveling Antonio's body.

"Perhaps I can fix that." Antonio said flashing a smile. Lovino hid a smile.

"What makes you think I'll give you a chance to?"

"The way you hide smiles."

The two spent the rest of the night talking, and Antonio got his number.

He then spent the next day texting Lovino. He barely did anything the whole day. The two then decided to see each other again for a date. As Antonio was getting ready that night was being questioned by Gilbert.

"So, you have a date?" Gilbert asked.

"That I do."

"And you plan to sleep with him?"Gilbert asked

"Maybe in the future." Antonio said, fixing his hair.

"So you'll be seeing him again." Gilbert said.

"Yes sir."

"And you're cool about being gay?" Gilbert asked

"Well seeing as I've never seen the woman body as attractive, it is a pity he can't give me a child... Or can he?" Antonio wondered

"What?"

"That's it! If we can just transform one of his sex cells into an egg without damaging his genetic makeup with in the cell, we could have children together!" Antonio said getting his coat.

"Dude, what? You're crazy!"

"OUR BABIES WILL BE SMART AND BEAUTIFUL!" Antonio said running out the door.

So it wasn't as great as I hoped it would have been. Can you get all the references? There are 5 of them. If you can get all five I'll write you a oneshot~

R&R

~Roxi2Star