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The Road to Kynesgrove

XIX: Wind Walker

Delphine ran.

Acajou just killed Esbern. Acajou just crushed Esbern. Esbern's gone. Esbern's dead.

The thought was like oxygen to her aching lungs, lending strength to her bones and power to her muscles. Before she knew precisely what her body was doing, she was deep in the snowy woods, running, running towards Solitude with all the strength left in her body. She had to put as much distance between herself and the Thalmor as possible.

She flew down the hill, her feet tripping over rocks, branches tearing at her arms. Deer and rabbits had little time to react to her crashing through the brush before she rushed past them, her breath coming in gasps and her eyes fixed ahead of her. She heard another violent roar behind her, along with a chorus of Thalmor voices raised in panic and fury. She didn't know if the roar was one of pain or triumph.

Gods, she had been a fool. She thought of Acajou's snarling face, her terrible Voice. She thought of Esbern, and her vision suddenly blurred. It was her fault. All her fault. But all the regret in the world wouldn't bring him back. Like Mjoll, he had died because of Delphine's carelessness. She didn't even know why she was running anymore. It would be easier just to let the Thalmor catch her, and end this stupid journey.

Galthrul was a fool to think that he was going to help at all. He was too late. They were all too late.

Acajou could no longer be saved.

The ground turned from snowy slush to mud, and a light mist of fog clung to the ground. Somehow she had stayed close to the path leading from the Embassy to Solitude. If she could just make it a few hundred more yards, she'd be in the clear. Her pace became less frantic. A light drizzle of rain began to fall. She stopped suddenly, listening. She thought she heard—

A glass arrow sliced through her leg, so close to her kneecap that, for the first few moments, the fear of being permanently lamed blocked out the searing pain that shot all the way to her chest. She fell, clamping her shaking hands around her wrecked leg. Hissing pain through her teeth, she tried to rise. Another arrow bounced off of the stone next to her hand with a clang. She froze and looked up.

How did they catch up to me?

Silent as deer, they came out of the fog looming over the path. Thalmor, in spotless glass armor, not terrified and fleeing from a dragon, but traveling quietly through the forest. The wet ground muffled the sound of their horses' footsteps. Struggling to her feet, she faced them down. A Justiciar. She'd run right into them.

I can't run, she thought as they formed a tight circle around her. I can't fight. I can't hide. I can't—

"My Embassy is burning," a voice called out, interrupting her thoughts. "I wonder if you have anything to do with it."

The riders in front of her created a space for a white horse to walk through. Its rider stared down at Delphine with a gleam of recognition in her eyes. Delphine's stomach sank.

"…Blade."

Even in the rain, Elenwen looked like a queen. Her eyes glittered from within the confines of her hooded cloak. She raised one finger and Delphine instantly had ten nocked arrows fixed on her heart.

The Blade finally found her voice, smiling bitterly. Of all the Thalmor in the world…."Should I be flattered that you're giving me so much credit?"

"Forgive me if you find me wondering why the Embassy is aflame and you are running free after I just received word of your capture."

"A coincidence, I assure you."

Elenwen was not amused. "You do realize that your act of hostility against the Embassy will bring the entire Aldmeri Dominion down upon Skyrim?"

"I did not act with hostility towards the Embassy or the Thalmor that are stationed there," Delphine replied. "Surely you can't be that stupid. There was a dragon attack."

Elenwen turned her head to look at the plume of billowing black smoke rising above the treeline, then addressed two of the riders beside her. "Go investigate," she said shortly. "We'll meet you there momentarily. If any Blades are remaining on the premises, kill them."

"Yes, Ambassador," they both chorused, and galloped off. Elenwen fixed her attention on Delphine again. "I hoped you would be alive to witness the death of your organization," she said, "but I did not think it would be such a…pitiful end."

Delphine said nothing. Sven and Erandur should be long gone, she tried to reassure herself. The only one of us she'll find is Esbern.

Elenwen's mouth curved downwards, and again she looked up the hill at the smoke. "Seize her," she said shortly. "I want her unconscious and I want her in shackles."

Two Thalmor slipped off their horses and approached Delphine. She thought of running. She thought of fighting.

The world split apart with a gut-churning roar, followed by a blast of heat that melted both Delphine's courage and a wide swath of the wooded hills surrounding them. Some of the Thalmor's horses panicked and scattered down the hill and away from the monstrous blood dragon that had just leapt from the mountainside and crashed right behind the wounded Blade. Snarling low in her throat, Acajou drew herself over Delphine, talons sinking into the mud as she stepped towards the group of armored Thalmor threatening her Blademistress. Her snarl was menacing. The Thalmor, including Elenwen, could only gape.

Delphine turned to look. She could barely breathe. The pointed muzzle lunged towards her, opening to reveal shining ivory teeth. The dragon's golden eyes fixed on hers as she bent down to swallow her, and Delphine, the last of her generation of Blades, drew herself to her full height to face death with dignity.

"Hold on," Acajou hissed in a terrible voice.

"Huh?" Delphine said, her voice not at all dignified.

Teeth closed on leather and cloth. With a heave of her head, Acajou lifted Delphine from the ground, blasting her with a smoky exhale from flared nostrils.

"Shoot it!" Elenwen bellowed, having found her voice again. "Bring it down!"

Arrows sang by Acajou's head and thudded into her neck, her wings; every hit sent more of her soul into the sky and wrenched a grunt that rattled Delphine's skull. The world started seesawing up and down. Delphine wasn't sure of what was going on until she realized that she wasn't going to be eaten.

"Don't worry, Delphine," Acajou promised through clenched teeth. "They can't stop me."

The Blade thought of the bodies coming apart between her teeth at the Embassy, at the screams cut short by death, of her huge bulk crushing Esbern into the ground.

No, she thought despairingly, they can't.

Through the woods in front of them, Skyrim's capital city's stone walls loomed like grey giants, offering safety and protection in the throngs of people contained within.

Acajou jumped. Swinging from the dragon's mouth like a toy being dragged by a child, Delphine could do nothing except fling her arms around the only thing she could reach, which happened to be Acajou's nose. The world lurched around her as they slammed into Solitude's front gate. A cry of alarm rose from within the city, accompanied by the tramping of armored feet running towards their position.

Claws scoring the stone, Acajou climbed up over the wall, balancing on the edge like a hawk. Delphine, looking down the green sweep of Acajou's body, saw the Thalmor raise their bows again, glass arrows glinting in the sun. Elenwen's gaze was fixed on her, and it was cutting, accusing, suspicious. She was about to call a warning when Acajou gathered her hind legs under her and leapt into the city streets.

"You idiot! There are hundreds of people here! There's nowhere to go!"

But, true to her word, Acajou wasn't letting herself be stopped. With the force of the boulder that she had Shouted at Sahloknir, she rolled through the city at a lumbering gallop, flushing townspeople away from her with her outstretched wings and swinging tail. Delphine chanced a glance over her shoulder at where they were going and blanched when she saw some fifty guards running full tilt at her with every weapon imaginable clenched in their steel-armored hands. Again, Acajou leapt, clearing their heads with room to spare, and landed on the perimeter wall with a crash. Bits of stone crumbled under her weight as she moved like a lizard towards the Blue Palace, and arrows pinged all around them, all growing closer and closer to actually hitting her. Delphine couldn't keep herself from flinching every time.

One last mighty lunge put both dragon and Blade at the palace's highest peak. One last desperate look at the throng of warriors showed Thalmor and Nord alike gathered in a swarm on the streets below, releasing volley after volley of needle-sharp arrows towards their perch.

The Blue Palace groaning like a wounded giant under her weight, Acajou spread her leathery wings.

And leapt.

The roof fell away from Delphine's stunned gaze. So did Solitude. So did the land bridge. They were falling, falling through the empty, cold air. Acajou had just jumped to her—their—death.

Delphine clenched every muscle she could possibly tighten, including her diaphragm, which meant her scream stayed lodged in her throat with her stomach as they plummeted towards the inlet of water below. Her arms locked around the cold scales of Acajou's snout in what might have been a goodbye hug.

Esbern. Esbern, I'll see you soon.

And then, like twin green sails on a boat, Acajou's wings unfolded and caught the wind with a sound like a thunderclap.

With an instinct she didn't know she had, Acajou's her muscular shoulders stiffened as she lowered her head and pushed her wings down with all of her strength. The sails on her back and tail flared stiffly, giving her the stabilization she didn't know she needed. The black water that had been rushing up to swallow them angled steeply away from them.

One flap. Two. Up and down, ponderously, slowly, her wings carried them away from the water, away from the earth.

They were flying.

If she hadn't had Delphine in her mouth, Acajou would have Shouted with joy.

The sickening, heavy feeling of falling slowly lifted from Delphine's body, but she only opened her tear-swollen blue eyes again when Acajou pumped her head down for the first time and blasted Delphine's armor with a hard exhale from her flared nostrils.

"Acajou?" she whispered hoarsely, as she beheld Solitude falling away from them, steadily and swiftly. Then Acajou banked, and Delphine clutched even tighter to her leader's scaly snout as they turned south. The ground scrolled by dizzyingly as Acajou's wings beat harshly and rhythmically against the air.

Delphine took a few steadying breaths, struggling to control her panicked emotions. Her body couldn't decide whether to be terrified of being in the air, or stricken with pain, or exhausted because she had been holding on to Acajou's face with all of her remaining strength, or furious with Acajou for what she had done to Esbern. With this last thought, however, her eyes filled again with scalding tears. Trying to fight them back was pointless. For a while, there were no sounds between them, save for the dragon's grass green wings driving through the wind and Delphine's soft sniffling.

"Do you want to ride on my back?"

Her voice was muffled, but that didn't hide the strange hissing, growling timbre that had crept into her tone. Delphine hadn't noticed it before, but, listening closer, she could plainly hear another voice, hiding behind Acajou's like a scared child. A chill went down her spine, and it wasn't because of the cutting cold.

Still, she didn't much like being held in a dragon's mouth like she was a carcass being carried off. She reached over and grabbed the crest on Acajou's forehead, planting her foot on the fan-like protrusion on Acajou's jaw. With a little help, she managed to hook her wounded leg over Acajou's neck and settle between two of the smaller spikes.

"You're too heavy there," the Dragonborn complained. "I can't hold my head up."

If things had been different, Delphine would have thought twice about releasing her iron grip to crawl around on top of a dragon. She would have told Acajou to get over it. She would have demanded that Acajou land immediately. She would not have started crying again because Esbern was dead and the other Blades were scattered and what Farengar had told her was coming true right before her eyes. But she did.

If I fall off and die it will be a blessing, she thought wretchedly as she eased her way around Acajou's spikes. She picked the broadest point across her back, which happened to be directly between the shoulder blades, and she had to sit a little to the side to avoid impaling herself on a spike. She tried summoning a healing spell to take the edge off of the pain, but she dropped her hand as soon as the golden light had formed. What was the point?

And then, because she had nothing better to do, and because Acajou wasn't listening or couldn't hear, Delphine buried her face in her hands and soaked them with her grief.

"You killed him. We needed him—we desperately needed him—and you had to come in there and try to be a hero." She tried to enunciate the words but they were almost indistinguishable through her bawling. Tears ran out from between her fingers and dripped onto the scales she was sitting on. "Gods, I hate you. I hate you. I wish you'd just die."

Delphine was still wiping her eyes when they reached Riverwood. Acajou's flight traced a slow circle around the surrounding mountains, seeking a secluded spot to land. Spilling the wind from her wings, she settled her great weight on the ground as lightly as a heron landing in water. Delphine slid off as soon as the ground looked close enough. She couldn't make herself stop shaking.

Dragon and Blade looked at each other. The forest around them was as silent as they were, save for the slow drip of Acajou's blood onto the mottled leaves on the ground. Seeing how wounded the Dragonborn was stalled Delphine's grief. A sudden wash of hot anger flushed her cheeks.

"I hope you're happy."

Acajou looked down at herself. "I had to save you," she said at last.

"Oh, well, forgive me. I guess I should thank you for what you just did. Let's see—thank you for setting the Thalmor Embassy on fire, risking your stupid life and almost dying, and for killing Esbern." Her throat closed on the last words and she had to swallow several times before speaking again. "I owe…so much…to you."

"Delphine, I'm sorry."

"I don't want to hear it." Running her fingers through her hair, Delphine began half-limping, half-pacing. Her mind was a tangle of thoughts and emotions. She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry.

"Do you even know your purpose?" She spoke the words without thinking. The Dragonborn flinched, but said nothing.

"Tell me!" Delphine demanded hoarsely. "Tell me, Dragonborn!"

"I'm…I'm supposed to kill Alduin. I'm supposed to free Skyrim."

"And? Anything else?!"

The dragon was silent.

"You're supposed to be the leader of the Blades, Acajou. You're supposed to help us."

"I tried—"

"You have ruined everything Esbern and I worked—struggled—survived for!" Delphine couldn't stop herself. "Instead of becoming the greatest dragonslayer you become their friend. You cast your lot in with dragons instead of with people who have pledged to follow you to their deaths. You refuse to listen to me when I try to help you. You're never around when I need you and when I don't need you, you show up out of the blue and almost destroy yourself. I am sick of your stupidity and I am sick of being your babysitter. In fact, I don't know who's more stupid. After all, I wasted my entire life waiting for you!"

Acajou began moving out from under the trees, her body moving with a liquid grace that was a complete departure from her usually lumbering gait and thundering footsteps. Delphine started limping alongside her. "I'm not done talking to you!" she snapped. "Don't you turn your back on me!"

In an instant, Acajou had whirled on her.

"You are not my master!" she bellowed, craning her neck over the Blade. "You are not my shieldsister and you are not my friend. We are done!"

"Oh, don't you even start with me—"

Acajou made an ugly sound. "If you wanted me gone, you should have done a better job with your aim when I took you to see Paarthurnax." Her voice was flat and cold.

Shame pinked Delphine's cheeks for a moment, and then she bristled. "Don't you dare accuse me of anything, you worthless pile of scales! You are a murderer! You are an idiot! If you hadn't come crashing into the Embassy, we would have had a chance at escaping! We would have had a chance at saving ourselves without calling the Dominion's attention down onto us! Esbern would still be alive!" Her throat was dry and scratched with screaming, but she couldn't stop herself. "All I've done from the very beginning was break my back trying to help you and you have ruined everything. You're right. We are done!"

"You still haven't admitted it to yourself, have you?" The mountain trembled underneath their feet at the fury in the dragon's words. "If it hadn't been for you, none of this would have happened. You brought all of this down on yourself." Her face wrinkled into a snarl.

"Oh yes," Delphine snapped bitterly. "As if I wanted to be saddled with the most helpless, pathetic, corpulent waste of space in Skyrim!"

Acajou recoiled, then started spluttering ridiculously, her thunderous voice tinged with offence. "I—I am not—"

"You killed Esbern!"

"I did not mean to!"

"I don't care if you didn't mean to, you did. Every single problem that we've run into so far is because of you!"

"You gave me this form, Delphine."

"You gave it to yourself by getting in my way! You were protecting a dragon! You are—"

"Zu'u Dovahkiin!"

The words knocked Delphine onto her back. Before she was able to get up, Acajou slammed her wings on either side of her body.

"Hin mir los dii! Hin laas los dii!" She pulled her lips far back from her teeth to show gleaming white fangs. "Do not speak to me as if you are my equal!"

The petrified human at her mercy did not answer. Her face had blanched.

"Your prejudices and selfishness and cruelty will anchor me no longer. If I ever see you again after this, in whatever form I take, we will be strangers. No— we will be enemies. If you value your life, you will never seek me out again."

Somewhere through her haze of terror, Delphine found her trembling voice. "I told you once before that I would slay you if you ever bared your teeth to me again."

Acajou tilted her head and considered the Blade with one staring eye. "Your promises mean nothing to me," she bit out with finality. "They never will."

With that, she stepped nimbly over Delphine and took two springing leaps towards the edge of the path. Her wings stretched out again, sending up a cloud of dust that Delphine had to shield her eyes from. Then she was airborne, coasting across the empty sky, silent as a shark.

Lowering her shivering arm, the Blade watched, her stomach twisted in fear, as the Dovahkiin grow smaller and smaller in the sky until she could barely see the glints of light flashing on her emerald scales. Barely comprehending what just happened, she shakily got back to her feet.

I've just lost my leader.

The thought flashed across her mind, and she violently pushed it away, fear and denial warring in her heart. Acajou was never fit to lead the Blades. Acajou was never fit to be the Dragonborn.

But despite all that, she is.

And I've just lost her.

What would Esbern say?

She limped onto the pathway, her fingers clenched around the hem of her tunic, taking deep, barely-controlled breaths to calm her thundering heart. Her gaze never left her feet as she slowly made her way to her old home. Only Stump, Frodnar's dog, noticed her, when she finally reached the Sleeping Giant Inn. He thumped his tail on the porch's wooden planks, so she patted his head absently before opening the door.

Orgnar looked up when she entered. He was the only other person in the Inn, and she was glad of it. His brows knotted together over his dark eyes when they took in her battered body and haggard face. "Delphine?" he asked, after hesitating.

Holding up her hand to stave off the inevitable questions, Delphine shook her head. She couldn't bring herself to speak.

Orgnar, Divines bless him, saw her expression and immediately gestured to her old room. "It's empty," he offered. "Do you want…?"

She made her way across the room, pausing only when Ognar put his hand on her shoulder.

"You gonna make it?" he asked solemnly.

She pressed her lips together so hard that her jaw ached, and turned away.

She heard his sigh behind her. "I'll…bring you some mead when you wake up."

She nodded. She wanted to drink. She wanted to drown in alcohol. Instead she gently closed the door in Orgnar's face and turned towards the bed. Nothing had changed about the room. Same bearskin on the floor, same patchwork quilt on the bed. Same bookshelf hiding her secret room, her secret life.

Far off, the Embassy was probably still burning. She could only pray that Elenwen didn't truly believe that Delphine had been rescued, which was the most damning evidence. She'd seen the burning Embassy and had seen Delphine get picked up and carried—not eaten—by a dragon. She hoped beyond hope that the whole situation didn't look suspicious, but knew that Elenwen was not stupid and would run any of her suspicions to ground.

The Blades were scattered once more. What did it matter? What did they have to protect?

Delphine sat tentatively on the side of the bed. The Dragonborn had rejected her. Perhaps rightly so. Perhaps Delphine had been the one at fault all along. Her chest ached to think about it. Every step she'd taken since she'd walked to Kynesgrove with Acajou had been in the wrong direction.

Acajou isn't the stupid one. It's me.

Delphine crawled onto the mattress, wrapped her arms around her shoulders, and waited for the world to end.

I'm finally getting to write Acajou with some modicum of power and dignity. It's very fun to let your original characters shine every once in a while. :3 This story is closing in on 100,000 words and has a little over 100 reviews, both of which are huge milestones for me. Also, Road currently has about 16,000 total views, which might not be very much to people who have written better stories, but that number completely blows my mind. Thank you all for giving this story even a passing glance. You all are incredible!

I also realize this story needs a terrible amount of editing, both in terms of content and grammar. I'll get to it...eventually. Ha.