Disclaimer: KotOR, its characters and story aren't mine.

Rating: Mature for sexually tinted content, violence and profanity.

Author's note: What if Revan wasn't a Light Sided Jedi Knight who fell to the Dark Side at the end of the Mandalorian Wars? What if she never embraced either of those sides, but had always treaded a neutral path? This is the core idea behind this rewrite of Knights of the Old Republic, make Force Wielders something else then either Angels or Demons. There will be some twists to the lore and game to remove some of my annoyances and spice things up. The focus lies on the development of and between characters and – of course – entertainment.

With that said, enjoy reading my take on Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. Suggestions, critique and reviews are always welcome!

Prologue

A Warm Welcome

"Lieutenant Grey." The rear admiral saluted Xana, a gesture which she didn't return. The black-haired woman was a scoundrel at heart and didn't take it so close to regulations and navy etiquettes. It often resulted in being harshly reprimanded by a superior, but frankly she couldn't give a damn.

"How's it hanging, Coleman?" she greeted casually.

Coleman was used to her behavior and grinned. "Tell me, why haven't I fired you yet?" he asked while studying the no-bullshit woman with an amused smile. The two had too much of a history for him to ever give her the sack.

She gave him a non-committed shrug. "Probably because that little pussy Boyd would be the one to replace me." The rear admiral rolled his eyes, he probably agreed that that would be disastrous. "Besides, things would be rather bland and boring without me."

"You definitely have a way of spicing things up. At ease, by the way," he added with a hint of sarcasm. "But I'm afraid we're going to be bland and boring for at least a little while. You're being reassigned. Congratulations, Grey, you're leaving this 'dreary shithole', as you so colorfully describe this ship."

Xana grinned, revealing perfectly white and straight teeth. "It has a nicer ring to it when I say it. You don't add in enough venom."

"That's because I can't bring myself to offend this beautiful ship." The rear admiral was grinning as well, he wasn't such a bad guy like most of his colleagues. "But I'm a bit jealous here, Grey. You're being assigned to a famous Jedi Knight."

"Oh?" This piqued Xana's curiosity. She watched her superior intently with her bright green eyes. "What does a famous Jedi Knight want with a sad fuck like me? Failed as a pirate, gotten my head blown off in an explosion, barely survived but with my memories gone and now with a shitty job as lieutenant for the Republic Navy."

"You forgot being ugly as a Hutt," Coleman added with twinkling eyes. Xana couldn't help but grin again. If she had gotten a credit every time a man had asked her what such a beautiful woman was doing in the navy, she'd be able to buy her own cruiser right now. Her pitch back hair, natural olive tan and bright green eyes gave her an exotic look. Despite the brutal training she had gone through, she had managed to retain her feminine curves. The toned muscles couldn't quite ruin the fine shape of her body, with ample breasts, a slim waist and firm butt. She also radiated authority, thanks to the sharp lines of her face, perfectly straight stance and piercing eyes.

"Well, there's that too," she smirked. "So, what does he want from me?"

"She, actually. The Jedi Knight is Bastila Shan. You know, the one leading the strike team that defeated Sith Lord Revan. You should be honored."

"You still haven't told me what she wants from me, Coleman." Xana knew of Bastila, of course. After losing her memories she had wasted no time to read as much as possible about recent history and the knight had an important place in it.

The rear admiral sighed deeply and gave her a thoughtful stare. "The Jedi Order is closed shut tighter than an asshole. They love to shroud themselves in mystery, so I have absolutely no clue what they want from you. Perhaps they need your linguistics. Is there even a language you can't speak?"

The lieutenant scratched her chin. "Hmm, can't think of one so quickly." It had been one of the shocks she faced after waking up, being able to understand and speak most modern languages. "Can't be the reason they want me, though. I'm sure a protocol droid could be programmed for much more forms of communications than me."

Coleman nodded. "Perhaps they've picked up on the fact you're a natural born leader, able to persuade even the biggest pussy into battle. Between you and me, those whimsy magic weavers could use someone with a backbone. Would've ended the Mandalorian Wars much earlier." He sighed again. "Ah well, can't change the past. Maybe they're just interested because you're a polymath… there's no skill you can't or don't want to learn."

Xana smirked deviously. "You give me too much credit there, Coleman. There are some skills I don't want to learn. By chance they all involve my mouth and that piece of meat you guys piss through."

Coleman barked a loud laugh. "Then be happy you'll be serving a female Jedi instead of a male one. Although I doubt there'll be much mouth-on-meat action, even for a looker such as you. They swear celibacy through that Code of theirs."

The grin of Xana only widened. "Makes them all the more depraved for attention."

"Yeah, yeah. I just hope I won't have to attend your funeral in the next few days. Anyway, I simply don't know what they want from you. You will get a full briefing aboard the Endar Spire."

"That's the ship I'm reassigned to?"

"Yes, it's a hammerhead-class cruiser under the command of Jedi Knight Shan. You better behave, Grey. I don't have to tell you how a recommendation from an honored Jedi Knight would look on your curriculum vitae?"

"Indeed you won't, sir." Xana grinned slyly. Finding out just how devoted this Jedi was to her pathetic Code was going to be a great sport.

Xana had imagined Knight Shan to be quite a beautiful woman. She didn't know why, but it somehow fitted the image she had of the safe keepers of the galaxy. So when she first met her new commander she was pleasantly surprised.

Knight Shan was beyond beautiful. She was a fucking angel, she was. Shoulder length brown hair that was stylishly knotted up on several places. The face of a queen, with lush, full lips. Big, silver eyes that seemed to penetrate the soul. And a body to die for. Lean, toned, proper breasts and a firm butt, covered up by tight fitting brown Jedi robes that only accentuated those lovely curves. Bastila Shan was – without a doubt – the most beautiful woman Xana had ever seen.

As silver eyes met green ones Xana felt a strange connection. Something tingled in the back of her mind, like she knew this woman from before. Somehow she knew this woman deserved deep respect, but she couldn't quite pinpoint why. This was a woman not to be crossed, so much was clear to her. Staying on her good side should be top priority; she mentally scolded herself to watch her mouth.

In shock she realized what she was thinking. Xana Grey didn't show respect to anyone, surely not some pathetic Jedi girl that was at least three years younger than herself. Xana Grey was a scoundrel at heart and everybody else just had to accept that. Everyone but this woman, or so it would seem.

"Lieutenant Xana Grey?" The Jedi's voice was deep and melodious, a pleasure to listen to.

"Correct ma'am, at your service." Xana saluted the woman. She fucking saluted the woman. She didn't even salute to the admirals of her own navy, and here she was, straight as an arrow, showing respect to this Jedi whelp.

"At ease, lieutenant," the Jedi nodded, while cocking a curious eyebrow. Perhaps she had heard of Xana's total lack of disrespect for authority. She probably wondered why this notorious steel-eating bitch was saluting her like a bootlicking marine. "I am Jedi Knight Bastila Shan, commander of this vessel, the Endar Spire." Her face had returned to being neutral and distanced. "My Order has sent me to investigate the current unrest at Taris. We have been receiving reports of increased Sith activity. From your record I understand you have mastered a number of languages, including Mando'a, Binary, Huttese and Shyriiwook?"

"Correct ma'am, those are among the few languages that I understand and speak." Xana felt uncomfortable under the Jedi's gaze. Somehow she had the idea that Shan possessed a very deep understanding of her, an understanding that went far beyond simply reading her record.

"Excellent. Those skills will be invaluable for our mission. You will receive a full briefing once we arrive at Taris. Until then you are free to use all facilities this ship has to offer. If you have no more questions, Ensign Ulgo will show you to your bunk." The Jedi gave her new lieutenant a small smile and Xana felt like she was hit by a brick wall. This woman was simply stunning, the most gorgeous human being in existence. She could feel her insides melt and was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to impress the Jedi Knight.

She took a step forward towards the Jedi and stood up straight as an arrow. "Ma'am, I'm completely at your service. I hereby swear to protect you with my life, if you ever find yourself in danger." What the hell was she saying? She was a fucking pirate, not a white knight.

"Oh?" The Jedi chuckled and gave Xana an amused smile. For a brief moment her cold appearance melted away into a warm and welcoming one. "I will accept your promise and hold you to it, although I hope it will never come to that." The sound of that chuckle was like music to Xana's ears and the sight of that smile made her lose all sense, all caution. Fuck regulations, she had to know what chances she had with the brunette.

"If you ever require anything, do not hesitate to call me." She gave the Jedi a sly wink as she stepped closer. She bent forward to be able to whisper in the ear of the slightly shorter brunette. "And I mean anything. Don't worry, I won't tell your Order you bent their rules a little to have a bit of… Sapphic pleasure."

Bastila took a step backward and considered her with a very cold stare. Xana's eyes widened as she realized what she had just done. In her foolish trance she had crossed the line. She felt deeply embarrassed and sorry for her actions. "I apologize ma'am, I was…"

"Ensign Ulgo," the Jedi interrupted coldly. "Please show the lieutenant to her bunk." Bastila turned on her heels and strode out of the room, leaving behind Xana, who felt aghast. So much for dating the lovely brunette.

Flight Commander Onasi seemed rather interested in his new colleague. He was leering at Xana like a horny schoolboy. Not that she wasn't used to the stares, after all there weren't much beautiful women serving for the Republic. If it wasn't for that failed raid, she wouldn't have either.

In her previous life Xana had been a scoundrel, a pirate. She had flown the universe on a small frigate, raiding bigger ships to make a living. She had been the leader of a small crew, who had all died on that one fateful day. They had raided a big vessel which was supposed to be carrying some very valuable cargo. Turned out they were explosives meant for the war. Trying to obtain explosives using explosives isn't a very bright fucking idea. Blown herself and her entire crew to smithereens, or so she was told. When she woke up she was at a high-security Republic hospital and had lost all memories.

After her revalidation and a lot of psychological tests, they decided to give her a second chance. Allowed her to enroll in the Lieutenant-program of the Republic. As a scoundrel she had no intention of serving under the Republic, but this program was one of the best in the universe. The opportunist side of her decided the skills learned during the prestigious training would be invaluable in her line of work. Not to mention it would help her get back into proper physical shape much faster.

She decided to complete the program and then bail out of the Republic as soon as possible. Her great skill and quick learning ability had made up for her total lack of respect and she had breezed through the program. After becoming a lieutenant she had served under Read Admiral Coleman for a while, until her reassignment to the Endar Spire.

Xana had made up her mind after making a fool of herself in front of her new commander. She was going to leave the Republic. Taris was a city covering an entire planet, easy to get lost in. Once she had the chance, she would quietly slip away and start a new life with the skills she had gathered. As an added bonus it would safe her from the leering of fools like Onasi.

She smirked at his adolescent behavior. "Eyes up here, flyboy."

"Ah, sorry about that," he said quickly, looking flustered. "Please forgive my unprofessional behavior."

"It's not like you've got a chance with her, Fleet," Trask said coldly. "She was mighty interested in our lovely Lady Jedi." His voice betrayed spite and contempt.

"Got a problem with that, don't you?" Xana asked dryly.

"I do. It's unnatural, filthy and defies everything we fight for."

"Trask! The Lieutenant's preferences are none of your concern," Onasi reprimanded.

Xana merely shrugged. She was used to the hateful comments about her sexuality, as the Republic was full of homophobic zealots like Trask. One of the reasons to leave them as soon as possible.

"Forgive me, flight commander. I merely wished to state my disgust for having to share my bunk with this filthy whore."

"Careful, Ensign." Xana's tone had become quiet. This guy was quickly getting on her nerves and if she snapped she wouldn't stand in for herself.

"For what? A dyke who tries to worm her way into her commander's panties on their first meeting? I have no respect for you, because you deserve none. You are less than the steel beneath my feet."

The black-haired lieutenant barked a loud laugh. "And what makes you think I want your respect, ensign? You're nothing but a carefully honed tool, indoctrinated to do the biding of your masters, blindly following their orders and adhering to their morale. Wanting the respect from a soldier is like wanting the respect from a blaster pistol. Why don't you grow a pair and develop a mind of your own, before judging me about my innate sexuality and whining about things like respect." Force, how she hated these military dogs, who thought they had it all figured out. She nodded curtly to Onasi and stepped out of the bridge, heading for her bunk to get some sleep.

Dark Lord of the Sith Revan was standing on the bridge of her flagship. Her entire appearance was dominated by the black robes that loosely hung around her body and the blood red mask covering her face. The Jedi strike team approached the Sith Lord, led by Jedi Knight Bastila. Her angelic face stood cold and determined as she approached Revan. She dropped into her fighting stance, her team moved forward to attack.

With a groan Xana awoke from her nightmare. It had been the third night she had gotten this dream. It was not that she minded dreaming about her commander, but why had it to be nightmares? Why couldn't it just be regular wet dreams that she could use to enjoy herself with later that day? And why the hell did she dream about the defeat of Revan, an event which she absolutely had nothing to do with? She had wanted to ask Bastila about her dreams, but she hadn't seen the woman ever since their first introduction. Xana shrugged, the Jedi was probably still angry with her.

Later that day Xana spotted the two Jedi women that were part of Bastila's team. Maybe they would know where the boss hung out. "What's up ladies?" she said confidently as she approached the pair. They looked at her like she was a dirty speck on the floor. It didn't bother her to the slightest, the only person she had ever shown respect to – for some unknown reason – was not present. "Do you know where I can find your boss? Got an issue I wish to discuss with her."

"Want to stare at her breasts a bit more, do you?" one of them said coldly. "Knight Shan is a very busy woman. She currently has no time to see anyone, certainly not a rude, perverted marine such as yourself."

Xana rolled her eyes. "Knight Shan has made it abundantly clear she has no interest in me. I have no intentions of either leering or making another move at her. What I do want is to know why she's imparting crap in my brain."

The other Jedi cocked an eyebrow. "Feeling special, huh? You're just a marine. Trust me, Knight Shan wouldn't waste time or energy to probe around in the mind of a grunt like you." The woman took a step forward to stand inches in front of Xana. They were about the same height and her brown eyes stared into Xana's intently. "You stay away from Bastila, grunt," she whispered dangerously. "She upholds the Jedi Code, which means she will never get involved with anyone. That includes you, how high you might think of yourself. If you ever bother her again I will make you regret it."

Xana didn't back down. "Did the Force take away your fucking hearing?" she asked venomously. "I already said I knew what my chances of fucking your lovely boss are. I just want to know why she's slipping images into my mind."

The Jedi wanted to say something, but was interrupted by a cold voice. "What's going on here? Lieutenant Grey, what are you doing with my Jedi?"

Xana quickly took a step backward in shock. "Ma'am, this isn't what it looks like. I…"

"I don't care, just leave them alone." Bastila was looking at her with a cold look, full of contempt.

Xana glanced at the Jedi, who smirked wickedly and gave a quick wink. The lieutenant wanted nothing more than to scold her to oblivion, but she knew better than to act on her impulses. Bastila's patience was running thin already and she wasn't eager to face the wrath of a trained Jedi Knight. She sighed as she stepped away. "My apologies ma'am. It won't happen again." She left the area with three pair of Jedi eyes stinging in her back.

A red lightsaber clashed with a yellow one. Jedi Knight versus Sith Lord. Frozen beauty against burning terror. Bastila moved graciously, lightsaber dancing around her like it was second nature. Revan merely moved to deflect, lightsaber close to her body but always looking for openings. To strike using the Force. To blast, to choke, to electrocute, to torment. The Dark Lord cared little about fancy swordplay. Why bother when you can bend the greatest power in the universe to your will, use it to channel all your killer intent towards your opponent. Revan was a viper, waiting to strike.

An explosion, confusion, pain. Images started to blur, yellow and red overwhelmed the image. More explosions sounded. Lasers fired.

For a moment Xana was floating between dream and reality. Her eyes flung open and she sat upright in her bed. The explosions were real, the Endar Spire was under attack. She darted towards her footlocker and quickly got dressed in her combat suit with stealth field generator. Twin blasters and her dagger were holstered and she quickly grabbed some stims she kept close.

The door opened before she could reach it. Trask, the greasy motherfucker, stepped through. "Grey, the Sith are infiltrating this ship. We must get to the escape pods."

"Figured that out all by yourself, did you?" Xana asked dryly.

"Fucking hell, Grey! People are dying here, we must work together if we want to make this through."

"You mean you need my help to make this through," the lieutenant spat. "Whatever, Trask. I'm getting the fuck out of here. If you want to tag along to improve the chance of your survival, be my guest. As long as you keep your fucking comments to yourself this time."

"I really wonder what the Jedi sees in you," the blonde mused. "Sure, you got a nice file. Able to speak most current alien languages, a charismatic and persuasive personality and a frightening amount of skill. All signs of a good leader. But in reality you're just a filthy dyke with an attitude from here to Dantooine."

"The fact that you're a useful grunt is what is keeping you alive, soldierboy. Why don't come with me so you can put that big, throbbing blaster to use, hm?" He might be a homophobic asshole, he still was Xana's best bet to get off this vessel. He knew how to use a blaster and he had seen combat before. She took his silence for agreement and nodded into the hallway. "Take point."

The corridors were filled with Sith troopers slaughtering Republic marines. Xana watched it all with cold distance, she cared neither about the Republic nor the Sith. Both were fools misguided by their governing officers. That didn't mean she didn't kill every Sith in her way. Self-preservation was her philosophy, she'd do anything to live to see another day. It had helped her until now and it would continue doing so in the future. Not blasting Trask's brain all over the walls after his insults was one of the small sacrifices made to improve her odds of survival.

A familiar sound reached her ears, the sound of lightsabers clashing. The sound that haunted her dreams. Part of her hoped to find Bastila, but instead it was one of the knight's underlings, the cunt that had laughed Xana in her face earlier. Just another puppet for the Jedi Council. She was dueling with a dark Jedi. Xana smirked to herself; this whole light sight versus dark sight thing highly amused her. Both were following false philosophies that were meant to restrain them, to use them as a tool, a weapon. Fairytales to make them obey, make them kneel to their puppeteer.

Light won from dark, but light's euphoria didn't last for long, as she was killed by an overcharged power conduit. This caused another smirk from the scoundrel. No matter if you were light or dark, a well-placed jolt of electricity would end your misery either way. After checking to see if Trask was still able to fight, they continued onward. Through the bridge, which had been occupied by a large group of Sith troopers. Trask's skill with the blasters together with her own stealth made short work of them.

Out of the bridge into another hallway. A bald dark Jedi was approaching them through a corridor. This time there was no light Jedi to defend them. An idea came to Xana's mind. "Trask, engage that guy with a vibrosword, I'll try to sneak behind him to slit his throat." The grunt did as he was told. He mindlessly grabbed his sword and ran through the door to attack the Jedi. Xana barked a cruel laugh as she closed the door behind Trask. She effectively disabled so it could no longer be opened, not without brute force anyway. That would buy her enough time to reach the escape pods. "Sweet dreams, Trask," she whispered darkly as she turned to leave. "See you in hell."

Reaching the escape pods was a piece of cake. There were no more dark Jedi in her way, just more Sith soldiers. Onasi had decided to bore her with his advice over the comm. He meant well, but it was annoying nonetheless. Using her stealth field she slit the throats of some Sith assholes. Further on she repaired and reprogrammed a droid to protect her. She also hacked a terminal to blow up a power conduit in the next room, wiping out a large group of hostiles. She allowed the droid to finish the rest.

"You're the last one alive," Onasi said as she reached the pod room.

"What about Bastila?" she inquired.

"She has already left in an escape pod," he answered. "Come on, this ship is disintegrating. Get in the pod so we can get out of here." Xana did as he told and quickly entered the last remaining pod. Onasi crawled inside after her and closed the hatch. When he was seated and strapped in he pressed the release button. With massive force they were slung away from the Endar Spire. The last thing Xana remembered before passing out were the strong vibrations caused by entering a planet's atmosphere.