What can I say? If you guys are still there, here you go. I do appreciate all of you calling for it. I hope to have a proper chapter out soon, I do have some, well what I think, are good ideas for certain moments, so let's try and reach them. For now, this is more of a show that I am not dead and I will be updating, even if it's not rapid. Also for those that read this much later out of context, I took a break of 6 years, 2014 to this chapter's release in 2020, so that's what all the 6 year jokes are for.

"Update the story… at least let someone else finish it… it's not fair… you suck… fuck you and your story… it's been getting worse for a while so maybe it's better you ended it now… - Reviewers.

Percy came to suddenly, blinking in surprise. He was surrounded in darkness, oppressive deep darkness like the kind you get when you mix too much blackcurrent squash in your glass.

He pushed up against the pile of rubble that had collapsed on him, letting out a gasp as he managed to force a leg under himself. With a loud cry of strain he threw the rocks off himself and glanced around at his surroundings. Deep dark tunnels extended on either side but before he could explore them a cry rang out above him.

"Percy!" Annabeth screamed, her face splitting into delight. "You're alive!"

Percy rubbed his jaw, finding a thick beard covering his jaw. "Erm, Annabeth what's going on?"

The blonde demigod leapt down from the hole above, landing gracefully and wrapping her arms around Percy. "We were fighting the scorpions and you tripped at Zeus' fist. You fell down this hole right into the next plot point and were crushed by some rocks."

"Whoa, whoa, what?!" Percy cried, pushing her away. "That's insane!"

"That's not the most insane bit," Annabeth told him. "Percy, you've been unconscious for six years!"

Percy blinked. "I- what?"

"The author forgot to continue this story and so, you know, you never woke up. Until today! He must have gotten off his dumb ass and finally started writing us again!"

Percy rubbed his jaw again. "So that explains the beard. But how old does that mean I am now?"

Annabeth waved a hand. "Oh, we live in a slippery timeline Perce. I imagine we'll only see real aging affects when it benefits a piece of comedy."

"Right…," Percy nodded. "But wait, did you stop Luke and Kronos?"

Annabeth looked rather awkward for a second. "I wouldn't know," she muttered. "I've kinda been waiting here for you to wake up."

"For six fucking years!" Percy exclaimed. "You've been shouting my name for six years, just six years of screaming at me! Did you not think to, I don't know, clear the rocks off and carry me to safety? Or, I don't know, just have a life?!"

There was a pregnant pause as Annabeth just stared at Percy uncomfortably.

"So," she started, "want to go see the others?"

Percy just sighed. "Yeah, sure. Where are we anyway?"

The daughter of Athena moved over to the wall and hit an Eta button, causing a ladder to appear in the wall, leading up to the hole in the ceiling. "It's the old Labyrinth. We worked this out about five years ago. Luke is probably going to use it to attack camp."

"You mean he hasn't already?" Percy asked as he started climbing the ladder.

"Nah," Annabeth replied, following him. "He sent flowers and wishes you well. He heard about you getting knocked out. I think he was waiting for you to awaken again."

"Oh," Percy said. "That's very, erm, Lukeish. Why didn't he attack?"

Annabeth followed Percy as he reached the top and crawled out. "Yeah, why does Luke do anything?"

Percy shrugged. "I guess that makes as much sense as anything else." The two started trudging back through the forest to the arena, where Annabeth claimed a war council was happening. How she knew that, Percy did not know considering she was supposed to have been sitting by him for six years but it was starting to realise he should just accept these things.

As they entered the arena, Percy was treated to a strange site. The campers were there, sure, but some looked radically different. Chiron's beard was long and completely grey and he was wearing a tall, floppy hat that made him look like a wizard. Percy had to really focus to see Grover, as the poor satyr didn't look a boy anymore but a fully grown man. He appeared tired, a baby held in his arms. He didn't see Quintus or Mark Sue though.

Percy pointed this out to Annabeth.

"Yeah, well it turns out Quintus was actually Daedalus in disguise and Mark Sue was a bad guy. Who knew?"

"Well, not us, not back then."

"Yeah, but that was six years ago. I guess you worked it out since then?"

Ananbeth nodded and strode forward, spreading her arms. "Hey guys, Percy is back!"

There was a colossal cheer and Chiron rolled up happily, tears in his eye. "Oh Percy my boy! We were stuck without you, like Jesse, Bullseye and Stinky Pete in Toy Story 2. We needed our Woody if we're going to Japan!"

Percy cocked his head. "But we're not going to Japan right?"

"No, it was a analogy you dumb little sexy piece of ass."

"Good to see the #metoo movement didn't change you, Chiron," Percy muttered. "Why are you dressed like Gandalf?" Percy gestured at his strange attire.

Chiron shrugged. "Well, you know how it is. You grow a large beard and wear a hat that resembles a wizard's cap and suddenly you cannot pass no matter where you go. I just decided to lean into it."

Percy nodded. "Yeah, or you could have shaved."

Chiron stared at him blankly. "Oh, yeah."

Grover pushed past Chiron, a tired look in his eyes. "Hey Perce. You're looking good."

"Thanks," Percy replied, wishing he could say the same for the satyr. Poor Grover was unshaved and wearing a dirty wifebeater; his eyes were glassy and unfocused.

"What happened to you man?" Percy asked.

"Oh you know, the usual. I got married to Juniper, we had a baby, Orlando-Percy," he held up the kid in his arms, "but then she started fucking Silenus from the nature council. She filed for divorce and cleaned me out so I lost my house, my savings but not this little rugrat," he held up the baby again, "because Juniper, quote, 'had so much left to do' and couldn't be stuck with him. So now I'm a single father living with Chiron. I work at Poseidon's Dunk and Dip on weekends to pay the paternity pay."

"Wow, that's rough," Percy was shocked at what he had missed. "But shouldn't Juniper owe you; you're the primary care giver?"

"Check it again webhead," Grover replied, his voice tired and slow. "Amendment 2371 claims all primary payments must be made by the male spouse in the event of a code 438, of which I'm in breach of."

"Right…," Percy said. "At least you've still got your satyr friends to help with the baby?"

"Fauns. We can't use the term 'satyr' anymore due to the masculine undertones. Faun is more PC."

Percy blinked; if there was one thing the word 'satyr' wasn't, it was masculine. The young demigod made to reply but before he could there was a squeal f joy.

Paedo D was suddenly there, beaming.

"Oh my Percy, I'm so glad to see you!" As he did said this, he moved erratically around the arena, avoiding the clusters of demigods. "And I love the beard, it makes you look legal. Legal age you know."

Percy resolved to shave it as soon as possible. "Erm, her Mr D. It's good to see you, I guess."

Chiron whacked the pervy god with his staff. "Hey, what did we say about being within 15 feet of the children?"

"To not be," Mr D said sullenly.

Annabeth explained to Percy that shocking evidence had come to light that Mr D had been carrying out questionable actions involving minors.

"It took you six years to figure that out?" Percy asked, exasperated.

"Hey," she replied, "who could of guessed?!"

"Erm, me!" Percy replied forcefully. He still remembered the road trip he's had to do with Mr D in chapter 43.

"Yeah, sure, Percy," Annabeth scoffed as everyone laughed.

The son of Poseidon shook his head, bewildered. "So, okay, what does this mean? What do we do now? Last time I was awake we were trying to stop a war and the rise of Kronos but-"

"We're still doing that!" Chiron replied happily. "In fact, we already decided that once you woke up we'd give you a quest to stop Luke!"

"I thought you agreed I could have the quest," Annabeth interjected.

"Be quiet, Annie, Percy is talking," Chiron said dismissively.

Percy looked between the two. "I don't know, I'm a bit out of this. I think she should have the quest."

All the campers surrounding Percy started bowing and agreeing with him.

"What a fantastic idea, Percy!" Chiron shouted. "Let's do that!"

Annabeth stepped forward angrily. "This is stupid, it was mine, I proposed we should head through the maze-"

Chiron nodded. "Head through the maze? What a great idea Percy! We could try and convince Daedalus to close it so Luke's monsters can't get through!"

The blonde girl just shook her head, resigned and crossed her arms in anger.

"How about Annabeth gets her prophecy, and we meet back here tomorrow?" Percy suggested. "We can sort of restart, like the time skip never happened?"

Chiron nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, I can shave and dye my hair. You'll never know I aged!" He turned around and started to push his wheelchair away, his thin arms shaking with the effort. It was going to take more than hair dye to convince Percy this guy wasn't ancient.

There were a variety of other greetings but Percy finally managed to push Paedo D away, promise the other demigods he'd see them tomorrow and assure Grover he could stay in his cabin whilst he was waiting for his childcare appeal to come through.

The two friends, the faun and the demigod, headed to Percy cabin where Percy found yet another strange site. A memorial had been set up around the door, with what must have been thousands of flowers and in the middle was a few candles surrounding a shirtless picture of Percy, that Percy himself was sure he has never taken.

The two walked past the display and into the cabin where Percy promptly went over to his pet naiad he'd forced into a cage six years ago.

"Nice, you kept her alive!" he exclaimed. "Remember the day I caught her? Must have been around chapter 4 or 3… she was that naiad I caught when Chiron told me I was getting a quest."

"I thought you threw her back," Grover frowned.

"Nah, I think I killed one and kept the other," Percy thought. He turned away from the unhappy naiad, trapped in the cage and sat down on his bed.

"How are Tyson, and mum and dad?"

Grover scratched his head, putting the baby down in the portable crib he'd been carrying. "They haven't aged, if that's what you're asking. The writer decided Tyson's main charm was being your shitty little brother and so he couldn't damage that dynamic."

"Makes sense," Percy nodded. The two spent the rest of day catching up and trying to remember future plot points the author had decided in. When the sun eventually sank down below the horizon, Percy and Grover climbed into bed, separate ones despite Grover's insistence, and Percy pulled out Retard (remember, the name he called Riptide, his magical sword because it was always broken)

"At least you haven't aged old friend."

And Percy fell asleep, his dreams unfurling like a curtain across a stage to reveal Luke, performing pilates on the deck of his ship, the Princess Andromeda.

"Something kinda, ooooh

Jumping on my toot, toot

Something 'side of me,

Wants some part of you, ooooh"

Of course he was listening to spice girls. Luke performed the splits to finish and turned to face Percy directly. He hadn't aged a day but he smiled and winked.

"There's a lot coming up, Perce. Stay limber."

I won't promise that another chapter will be coming very quickly but I will be writing and it won't be years between chapters. For anyone still reading this, I hope you liked it.