AN: NEW TRANSLATIONS ADDED! I would like to express my sincere thanks to Soizic567 who reviewed me with correct translations! Thank you so much, it's really appreciated!

AN: So, this is for kurtbastianausunday on tumblr, where this week's AU was Harry Potter! So of course, being the nerd I am, decided to try it out. I want to apologize if my French is awful, I have never spoken French in my life, and I used Google Translate, so if it is awful, please let me know. Also, translations are at the end, and the title cracks me up.

Title: Des ânes et des balles. (Of arses and balls)

Word Count:1,405

Pairings/Characters: Kurtbastian(main), Brittana, Fuinn, Sebastian/Others / Sebastian Smythe, Kurt Hummel, Quinn Fabray, Finn Hudson, Santana Lopez, Brittany Pierce, Blaine Anderson, Chandler Khiel, Noah "Puck" Puckerman, Scorpius Malfoy, Albus Potter, Jeff Warbler.

Disclaimer: Misa own neither Harry Potter nor Glee, they are owned by J.K. Rowling and Ryan Murphey.

Summary: It's time for the famous Yule-Ball, and Hogwarts' champion Sebastian Smythe is unsure of who to ask.

Warnings: Slytherin!Sebastian, Slash, Slut!Sebastian, Swearing, Cheating(if you can call it that), HORRIBLE FRENCH.

Des ânes et des balles

The Yule-tide holidays were finally here, and in just a week there would be a Yule Ball as was the tradition of the Triwizard Tournament. The first task was over with, and in the lead was Hogwarts' champion, Slytherin Sebastian Smythe, followed by the champion from Beauxbaton, Kurt Hummel. The champion from Durmstrang was last, but people were sure that the nephew of Viktor Krum, Noah "Puck" Puckerman, would catch up.

Sebastian was considering who to ask to the ball, as he had many a choice to choose from. Both girls and boys had already asked him, though the girls had been turned down immediately, the boys were still under consideration. He had a bit of a reputation at Hogwarts; he was not what people called "innocent". To be honest, he had slept with almost every guy in the school from sixth year and up, plus a few from fifth year as well. Still, he had standards, he didn't fuck anything with a pulse, but he liked sex so why shouldn't he find pleasure where pleasure could be found?

"I know that look," spoken by a female voice brought him back to the present. He turned towards his best friend, Santana Lopez, and smirked. "Oh yeah, tell me then, what does it mean?" She smirked right back at him, telling him "That look means the students should stay out of either the dorm-room or the corridors in the dungeon unless they want to witness something horrific, as you always refuse to put up privacy wards."

"It usually does mean that, yes, but I was just considering who the fuck I should ask to the bloody ball," he answered, looking around the Great Hall, considering each handsome boy in attendance. He lingered on the curly-haired, sixth year Gryffindor Blaine Anderson, but quickly changed his mind when he remembered how clingy he was. They had fooled around last year, but Anderson didn't understand that Sebastian was only in it for the sex, and had gotten jealous and thrown a fit when he saw Sebastian with Scorpius Malfoy when he had said he was going to meet Blaine. Sebastian guessed that finding your crush holding your "enemy" up against the wall, his feet around his waist and the crush balls deep in said enemy would kinda sting. Not that Sebastian would know, he never had a crush, nor did he find finding a hot guy fucking another hot guy against a wall to be so bad.

He considered asking Scorpius, he would understand it was just fun and would probably let him fuck him afterwards, but he knew Scorp asked his boyfriend Albus just last week, and even he couldn't bring himself to break the admittedly cute couple up.

His eyes swept over the Ravenclaw table, and his eyes lingered for a bit on Chandler Khiel, but he was just too stuck up for Sebastian, and absolutely crazy. He was a total prude, but so hyper he yelled at everything, but he was also kind of cute, and a real tease.

"I think I might have to go for one of the foreign students," Sebastian said to Santana. "Almost no one in this school holds my attention any longer, and the few who do I've already fucked." Santana just laughed at him, turning her attention back to the ditzy blonde Hufflepuff who sat beside her, her girlfriend Brittany. Sebastian thought that was why he and Santana were such good friends; there were no sexual attraction between them.

He turned towards the Durmstrang students, assessing each and every one of them, and although there were quite a few handsome guys there, they were too beefy for his taste. He liked his boys smaller than him, easier do dominate and more often more willing to let him do the fucking instead of the other way around. So he watched the Beauxbaton students, the girls in their teasing light blue uniforms which had most of the guys in Hogwarts drooling, and the absolutely stunning guys in their tight dark blue pants and white shirts, which made all the girls in the school sigh and go glassy-eyed. These boys where more to his taste, petite, slim and beautiful. He was watching a blonde one, cute with blue eyes, just a little shorter than Sebastian, he thought his name was Jeff, when the said school's champion walked through the door, head held high with his hand looped through his best friend's, a girl with long blonde hair and pretty much a perfect body, if you were into that kind of thing.

Kurt Hummel had short brown hair, styled to perfection away from his forehead. He was a few inches shorter than Sebastian. He was thin, but lean, and his legs went on for miles, which could be clearly seen by his tighter than tight pants, with his white shirt un-tucked, hanging just over the swell of his magnificent arse. His eyes were a mix between gray, blue and a light green, Sebastian swore he once saw them almost silver-looking, but it was in the middle of the first task so that could have been the adrenaline talking.

The only problem Sebastian had with Kurt was the fact that Kurt thought Sebastian was a complete arsehole, which, if he was honest, was kind of true. Plus, Kurt had a gigantic crush on Finn Hudson, a Hufflepuff for Merlin's sake. The two best friends headed towards said house's table, taking a seat on each side of said Hufflepuff. It was clear to Sebastian that Kurt wanted to ask Finn to the ball, but before he had the chance, Finn turned toward Quinn and asked her to the ball, stuttering and making a fool of himself. Quinn, Sebastian could see, was happy for the offer, as she too had a little crush on him, and said yes. Sebastian could see the devastating look upon Kurt's face, and something in his chest started to hurt.

As he watched Kurt stand up and walk swiftly out of the Hall, leaving behind an oblivious couple, he stood up to follow him out. Since his table was closest to the door, he got out just after Kurt and was just in time to see him run out of the castle in full haste. He ran after him, and Sebastian found Kurt on his knees halfway to the carriage they arrived in, his head hang and his shoulder were shaking. As Sebastian got closer, he heard the most beautiful and the most heart-wrenching thing; Kurt's sobs.

He sat behind him in the cold snow, wound his arms around Kurt's body and pulled him to his chest. Kurt struggled at first, trying to make his way out of Sebastian's arms, but he soon ran out of the little fight he had managed to build up, and sagged against him, turning and burying his face in Sebastian's shirt. Sebastian dragged one hand trough Kurt's hair, ignoring his protests and massaged his head, while the other hand stroked up and down his back, calming him, murmuring nonsense to him in French.

They sat like this for over twenty minutes, so long that Sebastian had to put warming-charms around them so they wouldn't get sick. Kurt's sobs had lessened, now he was just sniffling and shaking, playing with Sebastian's shirt and leaning his head in the crook of his shoulder and neck.

"Tu n'es peut-être pas aussi con que je le pensais." Kurt whispered into his shoulder, making Sebastian grin. "Non, je suis bien un con, tu es juste mon point faible." He whispered back, and smiled when it caused Kurt to laugh.

" Aimerais-tu venir au bal avec moi?" This made Kurt sit up in his lap, looking at him with wide, wet, red-rimmed eyes. "Sérieusement ? Les champions ont le droit d'y aller entre eux?" his voice was full of wonder, as if he didn't believe his own ears. "Oui, les champions l'ont déjà fait par le passé. Alors, tu vas venir avec moi?" Sebastian sounded so hopeful and pathetic to his own ears he almost cringed, but he managed to keep it off his face, even if his inner self was ranting.

Kurt smiled at him, leaned forward and kissed the corner of his mouth. Then he whispered to his lips; "Oui, j'adorerais aller au bal avec toi."

Sebastian's grin was almost as light as a Lumos.

AN: Finished! I thought it came out kind of cute. Sorry again if my French is horribly wrong, the translations are posted further down in this AN. Let me know what you think, constructive criticism is also appreciated :)

TRANSLATIONS!

Tu n'es peut-être pas aussi con que je le pensais. – Maybe you're not such an arse as I thought.

Non, je suis bien un con, tu es juste mon point faible. – No, I'm still an arse. You're just my soft spot.

Aimerais-tu venir au bal avec moi? – Would you like to go to the ball with me?

Sérieusement ? Les champions ont le droit d'y aller entre eux? – Really? Are champions even allowed to go with each other?

Oui, les champions l'ont déjà fait par le passé. Alors, tu vas venir avec moi – Yes, champions have gone with each other before. So, will you go with me?

Oui, j'adorerais aller au bal avec toi – Yes, I would love to go to the ball with you.