Julian stifled a yawn. He'd dated a doctor who'd explained it in terms of the autonomic system. It had made perfect sense at the time, but he couldn't really remember it. What it came down to was that Julian got so anxious that his body overcompensated, to the point he was drowsy. He felt terrified. He looked bored.

He was wearing an eye patch and a puffy shirt. Something had gone terribly wrong.

Noel sounded surprised to hear from him, as though there had ever been a chance Julian would get through a full day of shooting his first commercial without seeking out his partner's reassurance.

"How's life with the beautiful people?" Noel asked with a laugh. "How's Brad Pitt?"

"They've got me dressed as some kind of..." Julian looked down at his costume and searched for the appropriate term. "Sexy pirate. I think there might have been some confusion."

"Of course you're a sexy pirate. They wouldn't have hired you if they wanted an ugly pirate," Noel said in a slightly terse tone, before adding, "They'd have got Lee Mack. I have to remember that one, the next time I see him..."

"But Noel..." Julian whispered before realizing he couldn't possibly finish the sentence. It was too sniveling, too pathetic, and too possibly true. Early on, it had been obvious that they should be billed at Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding. It made sense in terms of experience, fame, and the alphabet. Now that they were best known as a double act, people frequently got their names backwards. Noel was the flashier star and the first to describe himself as the 'girl' of the pair, and people sometimes assumed he would be billed first.

Noel Fielding would make a good sexy pirate.

"C'mon, Ju, did you think they were hiring you to play a serious scientist? They're selling a disgusting drink for girls, of course they want a good-looking guy in the ad. Why'd ya think they hired you? Just grin and bear it," Noel ordered. "We need the money. I'm dying on my arse as a solo act."

"That's not true." It wasn't true. Noel was getting mixed reviews, but that was inevitable. His wasn't a brand of humor that was universally appealing. In fact, it could be quite alienating—but Noel was a natural rock star. He was quickly building a following, and there was already a lot of buzz for him for Edinburgh. Julian was keenly aware of the risk he was taking by allowing Noel so much time on his own. It was part of the reason he was taking time away from the Boosh: Julian needed to stand on his own.

He also needed Noel to tell him he was funny, handsome, and clever.

"It's not true," Noel agreed, "but it's hard. I miss... the Boosh."

"I miss the Boosh, too," Julian agreed. "This commercial is idiotic. I thought it was going to be more strange and visual and less..."

"Sexy pirate?"

Julian's laugh died as he was called back to set. He caught his reflection as he passed by a mirror and cringed at his moussed hair. Julian enjoyed acting, but he was clearly a character actor and not a leading man. In the future, he would be sure to clarify that all 'sexy' roles should be sent straight to Noel. Julian would stick to playing the overly earnest and total twats. An actor needed to know his range.

xxx

Noel had done a few 'acting' gigs while Julian was off being an Actor. Noel had learned a lot from those jobs—mainly that he was not an Actor. He didn't like sticking to scripts or saying other people's words. Noel was happiest being Noel. Julian had a few film projects lined up for the two of them, and Noel was going to give them his all, but he accepted that acting was not a shared passion.

Dee had said something while pissed that had stuck with Noel: "You're such a fucking copycat fucking little fucking baby. I don't know why Julian isn't fucking sick of you already."

She had continued on to say something about Noel sucking Julian's dick, and after getting sidetracked by her own description of the act, the argument had fallen apart as the sex began. The fact that Dee had been drunk, horny, and easily distracted didn't keep Noel from seeing the hint of truth in her statement. Noel could be overly enthusiastic in his adoration, and it could be off-putting. For three years, Noel and Julian had been all but joined at the hip, and it was not a coincidence that Noel's wardrobe was now full of trainers and flares. He had never intended to imitate Julian, but they rubbed off on one another. Noel could see his influence on Julian, but he wasn't sure anyone else could.

Noel had been rediscovering his own style on tour. If a club owner was going to look him up and down and find him a disappointment, Noel was at least going to look good for the rejection.

Voodoo Hedgehog was alternately being praised as whimsical and funny, if a bit unstructured, and panned for being an unstructured mess relying on whimsy instead of being funny. When Julian had finally dragged himself to see the show, looking pale, shaky, and a bit sleepy, he'd insisted that the show was wonderful. After a few drinks, Noel had asked Julian why he looked so tense when all he had to do was sit in the audience. Julian had laughed and changed the subject. For a few months, Noel had thought Julian was really struggling on his own, because he always sounded dejected on the phone. Eventually, Noel had realized that Julian only bothered to call when he was feeling down.

When Noel and Julian were away from one another for an extended period of time, it was always a bit awkward when they reunited. The night Julian had come to see Noel's show, they had started out making flimsy jokes and patting each other on the back, but they'd ended up spooning in Julian's hotel bed. There hadn't been anything sexual, at least not overtly; it was just that they couldn't seem to get close enough to make up for the time apart. Noel had never been one to need much space from his loved ones. He was an unabashed people person, and he loved being loved and raining his affection on others. If he had his way, he would take Dee and Julian and his family everywhere he went. He wasn't like Julian. He didn't like to be alone.

Even Noel was a little concerned about how much he needed Julian. It was scary to need someone so badly. Noel was glad, in a way, that Julian had forced the Boosh to take a break. It was good for Noel to work on his own and remember his strengths. No matter how many people dismissed him or asked about his 'better half,' Noel refused to give up. He won over crowds, shrugged off failures, and kept pushing the envelope. When he lost his confidence—and it was so easy to lose his confidence—he thought about Julian's reaction to "The Moon." Noel had wanted his solo show to have a lot of visual and graphic elements, especially in the suddenly painful absence of Julian's music. The Moon was a fun way to give the show a semblance of structure, and an unexpected visual. The Moon was probably the best-received part of his show. When Noel was trying to buoy himself, he didn't think about critics or fans. He thought about Julian discussing the Moon in that wistful tone that was familiar to any comedian. It was a tone of voice that said, "I wish I'd written that."