Chapter One

I walked down the stairs and made my way to the barber room for my semi-annual haircut. I walked into the room and sat down in the chair whilst my beloved Oompa Loompa started to cut my hair to the style it always is. I sat there patiently and just thought to myself. I had to admit it, I was lonely right now. I know I had my Oompa Loompa's but sometimes, even though I wouldn't admit it out loud, I craved human contact. Not that my Oompa Loompa's weren't human's but they weren't the same as me. The Oompa Loompa raised the mirror and passed it to me and I grabbed it to take a look. I grinned in satisfaction but then paused as I saw something. I frowned and slowly grabbed it; it was a silver hair.

My eyes widened. I could not believe this. I had a grey hair! Then as though something had just zapped me I had the horrible thought of what should happen to my factory and precious Oompa Loompa's when I am gone. What would happen to them? Nothing bad I hope. I thanked the Oompa Loompa and walked out of the room and made it to my office. I closed the door and sat down behind the desk. In this one silver hair I could see my entire life's work. Everything would be gone and ruined when I was gone and I would not let that happen. But what could I do, there was no one to take over the factory when I was gone.

I needed an heir of some sort. But I don't have that, I thought sadly and sighed. Suddenly an amazing idea just popped into my mind. I could find one! Hmm, how to do it? I spent that entire night thinking of how to do find an heir when I finally came up with the perfect idea, like always. I could send out some tickets and the kid who gets them could come to see the factory for a tour. The least rotten and spoilt would be my heir. Perfect! How many I should take though was the problem. I didn't want too many but I didn't want too little. I finally decided on five and grinned to myself. This was all coming together nicely. I called for an Oompa Loompa and told them of my idea and got him creating the tickets that would be needed.

I had written a little something that would be going on to the ticket and handed it to the Oompa Loompa. He waddled off and started on that whilst I decided it was best to go to bed as it was getting late. I changed my clothes and brushed my teeth before I got into bed. I smiled to myself before I finally fell into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning I got up, dressed, washed and made my way to the office to write the letter that would be sent out to the world so they would know what was going on. It took awhile before I finally managed to get it right and perfect and then I sealed it. I walked to the glass elevator and pressed a button to go to the candy room and stepped outside. I looked at the waterfall and sniffed the air. I loved this room the most as it was one of my greatest accomplishments. I mean, everything was edible. Wow. I spent my day doing what I did best, inventing candy. When the night came I went into the room where the Wonka bars were made and slipped the five golden tickets that the Oompa Loompa had made and watched as they were put into the wrapped bars and handed the letter to one of the drivers and laughed to myself at the idea of it before I walked back to my room.

I really hoped that not all of them were horrible brats. At least one of them had to be nice and selfless. That is what I hoped anyhow. I changed and hopped into bed and smiled to myself. Soon I would get myself an heir. I would have to watch the news everyday just to make sure that I didn't miss the winner's. I wanted to know beforehand who they were as I was going to put up a test for them and hopefully they will pass and prove themselves.

It was about five days later before the first ticket was found. I was sat in the lounge and turned the TV on to the news when it popped up that my first golden ticket had been found. I was so excited. I turned the volume up and watched with a huge smile on my face. I saw a fat kid with chocolate all over his face and his mother stood next to him and his father in the background. From their accent's I could tell they were German.

On the TV…

"Augustus?" the press man said and held the microphone closer to the boy.

"This way." the press woman said.

"I am eating the Wonka bar and I taste something, that is not chocolate. . . or coconut. . . Or walnut, or peanut butter. . . or nougat. . . or butter brittle, or caramel, or sprinkles. So I look and, I find the golden ticket." Augustus said and smiled happily.

"Augustus, how did you celebrate?"

"I eat more candy." he said and bit into a Wonka bar.

"We knew Augustus would find the golden ticket. He eats so many candy bars a day that it was not possible for him not to find one." the boy's mother told them with a smile.

"Yes, it is good, Augustus. Zehr gut." the press man said.

Ew. This boy was disgusting. He ate too much. I love candy more than anyone but that was horrible. I thought about what test I could have for the boy and my eyes lit up when I realised the perfect plan. I called for an Oompa Loompa and told them about the plan. I had asked them to make up a song so that if the kid's lose their test then the Oompa Loompa's could sing a song at the end. Perfect. I smiled to myself and walked out of the lounge and made my way to the invention room. Let's see if those hair toffee's are working now.

A few days later another one of my tickets were found and I excitedly turned on the news and saw a little girl with curly dark hair and was stood by her parents holding the ticket up proudly in her hands.

On the TV…

"Veruca. Can you spell that for us, please?" the press man asked.

"V-E-R-U-C-A. Veruca Salt." she said proudly.

"Soon as my little Veruca told me she had to have one of these golden tickets, I started buying up all the Wonka bars I could lay my hands on." her father told the press people. "Thousands of them. Hundreds of thousands. I'm in the nut business, you see. So I say to my workers, "Morning, ladies. From now on you can stop shelling peanuts and start shelling the wrappers off these chocolate bars instead." Three days went by and we had no luck. Oh, it was terrible. My little Veruca got more and more upset each day." He looked down at his daughter. "Well, gentlemen, I just hated to see my little girl feeling unhappy like that. I vowed I would keep up the search until I could give her what she wanted. And finally, I found her a ticket."

I turned off the TV with a slight scowl on my face. That girl was a no good cheater and spoilt brat. I didn't think I would like her. Hm, what could be her test? I thought to myself. She would want something she can't have… Oh, I know. I called for an Oompa Loompa and told him the plan for the girl and gave him the name so they could make a song to go with it. They were pleased, they loved to do it. Well, that is two of them. I wonder who will be the third winner. I shrugged and walked out of the room and decided to go and sort out the puppet show I would be having at the beginning of the tour. I couldn't wait, it would be magnificent.

On the TV…

"These are just some of the two hundred and sixty-three trophies and medals my Violet has won." a woman said with blonde hair. They were wearing the same pink tracksuit.

"I'm a gum chewer, mostly, but when I heard about these ticket things I laid off the gum, switched to candy bars." the daughter said as she was chewing on some gum.

"She's just a driven young woman. I don't know where she gets it." her mother said to the camera.

"I'm the Junior World Champion Gum Chewer. This piece of gum, I'm chewing right at this moment, I've been working on for three months solid. That's a record." she said smugly and her mother smiled.

"Of course, I did have my share of trophies, mostly baton." her mother said and pointed to the wall.

"So it says that one kid's gonna get this special prize, better than all the rest. I don't care who those other four are. That kid, it's gonna be me." Violet said.

"Tell them why, Violet."

"Because I'm a winner." she said.

I turned the TV and sighed. Wasn't there going to be anybody that would be good enough to be my heir? They were all spoilt brats. This girl was so certain she would win and he already had the perfect idea for the test for her. It was easy to see what test he could do for her and he told it to the Oompa Loompa that was in the room with him and he ran off to tell the others and to think of a song. I couldn't wait to hear the songs they would play for them. They were amazing really. I sighed and prayed that someone would find the ticket who wasn't such an evil, spoilt and annoying kid. Hopefully someone nice.

Finally the fourth ticket was found and I turned on the TV to watch. This time it was another boy and he was sat in front of the TV playing a video game.

On the TV…

"This is just in. The fourth golden ticket has been found by a boy called Mike Teavee." the news presenter said and it switched to the boy in his home.

"All you had to do was track the manufacturing dates, offset by the weather and the derivative of the Nikkei Index. A retard could figure it out." Mike said as he looked at the screen.

"Most of the time I don't know what he's talking about. You know, kids these days, what with all the technology. . ." his father drawled.

"Die! Die! Die!" Mike shouted.

"Doesn't seem like they stay kids very long." Mike dropped the remote and looked at the press men.

"In the end, I only had to buy one candy bar." he admitted.

"And how did it taste?"

Mike shrugged. "I don't know. I hate chocolate." he said.

"That question is, who will be the winner of the last gold. . ."

I turned off the TV with a foul expression on my face. I so did not like that boy. He didn't even like chocolate, I could not have him for my heir. Something had to be done about him. Even if it is meant to be a fair competition I would not be having that boy as my heir. I prayed that the last golden ticket would be found by a nice child. Everyone else was horrible so far. And there wasn't that long left either. I sighed and called an Oompa Loompa to me and told him the news and watched him leave.

It had been a few days and still my last ticket had not been found. What would happen if my last ticket was not found? I thought to myself. I would not have one of those spoilt brats as my heirs, unless they proved to me that they were not like that. But if they all were then he would have to think of some other prize for them and think of something esle. I sighed and turned on the TV. It came up with the news and it mentioned how someone from Russia had found the last golden ticket. Ah, so they have all been found now. Well, that was a load off. The big day was only in about two days. I was relieved.

The next day I was not so happy. It turned out that someone had forged at ticket and it had been a fake. Now what? That left the other four kids. I sighed and decided to go to bed. Tomorrow would be the day that I go and meet them. I would be lying if I said I was not nervous because I am. I had not been around people for about fifteen years and that made me alot nervous. Alot. Yikes. I took a breath and forced myslef to sleep.

I got ready in my normal clothes when I got up and looked at the clock. It said it was 9.30. I walked to the chocolate room and made sure all the Oompa Loompa's were ready for anything and made sure I was ready for a whole load of improvisation. Well, I am Willy Wonka, I can do anything. "Heh." I cleared my throat and walked to the main doors and went to the side where the big speaker was stationed and looked at my watch. 9.59.

I waited for my watch to say 10.00 am and as soon as the clock moved I pressed the button and spoked through the speaker. I could see from a small window the contestants all in a line and was pleased to see a fifth contender. "Please enter." I said and watched as they all walked into the factory grounds. "Close the gates." I watched as the gates closed before I started to speak again. "Dear visitors, it is my great pleasure to welcome you to my humble factory. And who am I? Well. . ." I trailed off and pulled a rope from the side and the red curtain's flew up. I snuck out the side door and walked out into the grounds and stood next to a girl with chocolate brown hair and chocolate brown eyes that was watching the show with a small smile on her face. She only came up to my shoulder, I noticed. I turned around and watched my show. It was amazing.

Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, The amazing chocolatier.
Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, Everybody give a cheer!
Hooray! He's modest, clever and so smart, He barely can restrain it.
With so much generosity, there is no way to contain it!
To contain it! To contain, to contain, to contain! Hooray!
Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, He's the one that you're about to meet.
Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, He's the genius who just can't be beat.
The magician and the chocolate whiz.
The best darn guy who ever lived.
Willy Wonka, here he is!

I had it on a timer so the chair would come up and I watched in glee as the red chair sprung up but then the sparks flew everywhere and lit the whole dolls on fire and they melted. I did not care, it was still so fun and magnificent. The girl stopped swaying to the music but still had a small smile on her face and she didn't even notice that I was stood next to her. I started to clap and everyone turned to look at me.

"Wasn't that just magnificent? I was worried it was getting a little dodgy in the middle part, but then that finale. . . Wow!" I exclaimed and laughed. The girl smiled softly and looked back up at the dolls. I walked forward and stood on the steps. I looked down at them and lost my nerve. The last time I had talked to someone was when I had human workers here and that was a long time ago.

"Who are you?" Violet asked, rather rudely in my opinion.

"He's Willy Wonka." the brown haired girl said much to my relief.

"Really?" the boy with her asked with a smile on his face. I gulped and looked at them all. They were all staring at me weirdly. I did not like it. Only the girl and boy at the end was smiling and had a friendly expression on their faces which made me feel a smidge better.

"Good morning starshine, the earth says hello." I said nervously with a nervous smile and it just made me more nervous as from their expressions it looked like it didn't go down too well.

"Good morning earth, starshine says hello." the brunette haired girl said and everyone turned to look at her. I smiled at her, she didn't make me look like too much of an idiot but now the other's were looking at her weird. I took a breath and reached into my coat and took out the cue cards I had made earlier. I did not want to look like a complete idiot. This was my factory after all and I did not want to make any mistakes. Well, not ones too bad. I was sure some of the kids would have accidents.

"Dear guests, greetings. Welcome to the factory. I shake you warmly by the hand." I said as I read from the card. I stook my hand out nervously for someone to shake my hand and it just made me even more nervous and anxious when no one did. I was about to pull it back in when the girl took it with a smile. She was really helping me, so I smiled gratefully at her and she went back in line. Everyone was staring at her again. "My name is Willy Wonka." I laughed nervously.

"Then shouldn't you be up there?" Veruca asked and pointed to the chair. I turned around and then raised an eyebrow at her. Was she that stupid?

"Well, I couldn't very well watch the show from up there, now, could I, little girl?" She dropped her arm and stood back next to her father. I stood straighter and cleared my throat.

"Mr Wonka?" I heard the girl say and turned to face her.

"Yes?"

"I don't know if you'll remember... but my Grandpa Joe used to work here in the factory." she said and I immediately switch off. My face became hardened as I looked at her.

"Was he one of those despicable spies who every day tried to steal my life's work and sell it to those parasitic copy-cat, candy making cads?" I asked stonily and she looked taken aback. She had honesty written all over her face.

"No sir." I smiled because I could tell that she was telling the truth and I was back to my happy self.

"Alright then. I hope he's doing well." I said, hopefully to make up to the fact that I was a little short with her. "Let's get a move on kids." I turned around and led them back into the factory and they all followed me in. I started to strip out of my outer coat and dropped it on the floor.

"Don't you want to know our names?" Augustus asked and I rolled my eyes but they couldn't see. Did he really think I did not have a TV.

"Can't see how it would matter." I muttered. "Come quickly, far too much to see. Just drop your coats anywhere." I took my goggles off and dropped them on my coat and turned around to look at the group. The girl from before had just taken off her coat and she had on a red dress that I didn't know why I thought she looked amazing in. I shook my head and was about to walked when Mr Teavee spoke up.

"Mr Wonka? It sure is toasty in here?" he said.

"What? Oh, yeah. I have to keep it warm in here, because my workers are used to an extremely hot climate. They just can't stand the cold." I told him with a smile and turned around.

"Who are the workers?" I turned around to see who spoke and found it was the boy who won the fifth golden ticket. He looked shy.

"All in good time." I said and started to walked down the hall. "Now..." I was immediately cut off as I gasped. The little girl was touching me. Violet had decided to hug me around the waist and I did not like it. I did not like touch much, mainly because I was not used to being touch and besides this girl didn't seem nice to me and I didn't want her touching me. Get her off!

"Mr Wonka, I'm Violet Beauregarde." she told me and I couldn't help the grimace that crossed my face.

"Oh? I don't care." I told her honestly and carried on walking. She walked in step with me and continued to snap her gum which was just annoying and loud.

"Well you should care." she said as she looked up at me. "Because I'm the girl that's gonna win the special prize at the end."

"Well you do seem confident and confident is key." I told her. It was true but it wasn't going to help her much here. I saw from the corner of my eye that she looked up to her mother with a grin and her mother gave her a look. I internally snickered and gasped again when the other little girl, Veruca, was suddenly in front of me. She curtsied and I just grimaced again. What was with these kids?

"I'm Veruca Salt. It's very nice to meet you, sir." she said politely. Not that it fooled me, she was just trying to get on my good side by being polite. Hah! That won't work. Silly girl.

"I always thought that a veruca was a type of wart you got on the bottom of your foot. Ha!" I laughed and was a little satisfied when he smile dropped off her face. I smiled and heard another laugh in the background and smiled to myself. That was a pretty laugh. I shook my head and didn't even get to move a step when Augustus Glopp stepped in front of me. His best friend in his hand.

"I'm Agustus Gloop and I love your chocolate." he said as he stuffed more chocolate in his mouth. I scrunched my nose up and looked him over. Yes, I could see he loved my chocolate. And what made it worse was his parents allowed him to eat this much candy a day. It was disgusting.

"I can see that." I told him with a smile. "So do I. I never expected to have so much in common." I took a step forward when I stopped. I narrowed my eyes and spun around to face the other two children. "You." I said and smiled at Mike. The brat had a bored expression on his face. How I hated him. He shouldn't be allowed in my factory. Ungrateful boy. "Your Mike Teavee. You're the little devil that cracked the system." My smile may have turned a little mocking. I turned to the next boy but really, I had no idea who he was. "And you, well you're just looking to be her aren't you?"

I looked at the adults in the room one by one. "And the rest of you must be their. . ." I tried to say the word but it wouldn't come out. It was like it couldn't. I had blocked all this out ages ago and this was bringing it back, I didn't like it. Violet's mother and Mr. Salt, I noticed, looked a little freaked out.

"Parents?" Mr Salt said with his eyebrows raised and I nodded and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Yeah." I said tightly. "Mom's and dad's." Suddenly the image of my father popped into my mind. "Dad? Papa?" I thought I was going to cry but took a breath and looked up to the other people in the room. "Let's move along." I said awkwardly and we all moved finally down the hall. I listened to the conversation behind me.

"Would you like some chocolate?" I heard Augustus Gloop ask someone and raised my eyebrows. Was the boy going to be nice and actually share?

"Sure."

"Then you should have brought some." he teased and my eyebrow twitched. I guess I have my answer then and from that I had a pretty good idea how his test was going to go and I knew how I wanted it to go.

"Let's be friends?" I heard the little girl, Veruca say. I could tell that she was faking it and I grit my teeth. These children didn't seem to be very nice at all, the only ones not saying anything was the little boy and Mike Teavee. The adults were quiet.

"Best friends." Violet said and then they seemed to go silent but I could still hear the horrible sound of that piece of gum in her mouth snap all the time. We had to hunch now as the hall was getting smaller and smaller and I couldn't help but smile a little. We stopped at the end and I turned around to face them and took out the keys from my pocket.

"An important room, this. After all, it is a chocolate factory." I told them.

"Then why is the door so small?" Mike asked rather rudely. I so didn't like him. No-way.

"That's to keep all the great big chocolaty flavour inside." I chuckled, brushing him off and stuck the key in the lock and turned it. I pushed the door open and smiled widely. We all straightened up and walked inside the room. This was going to be where Augustus was going to be tested. "Now, do be careful, me dear children. Don't lose your heads. Don't get overexcited. Just keep very calm." I said slyly and peeked at Augustus from the corner of my eye. I noticed his mouth was hanging open and he had dropped his candy bar on the floor. I looked back with a grin.

"It's beautiful." I heard the little boy, whose name I do not know, mutter. I looked back and couldn't help but look at the brunette girl he had come with.

"What?" I said as I nearly forgot what he had said. "Oh yeah, it's very beautiful." I turned away and started walking again. Just as we had came to the bridge I stopped and turned around and pointed to the river underneath and the waterfall above us. This was something good to tell them. "Every drop of the river, is hot, melted chocolate of the finest quality. The waterfall is most important. Mixes the chocolate. Churns it up. Makes it light and frothy." I said, discribing it with my hands. "By the way… no other factory in the world, mixes it's chocolate by waterfall, my dear children. And you can take that to the bank." I said proudly with a grin. I mean, why shouldn't I? Heh. No one else had come up with something like this.

We walked over the bridge and I stopped and let them pass and grabbed the girl who was with the boy when she tripped as she was looking around the room. She blushed and I couldn't help but smile when I saw it. "Thank you." she muttered.

"Heh. You're welcome." I said and looked at the group and called them to get their attention. "People?" They stopped and turned around to face me and I pointed up to the pipes that were above and descending into the chocolate river. Now was as good as any to tell them about them. "Those pipes… suck up the chocolate, and carry it away, all over the factory. Thousands of gallons an hour. Yeah." I stepped forward and motioned to the grass. "And do you like my meadow? Try some of my grass. Please have a blade. Please do. It's so delectable and so darn good-looking." I grinned proudly and held the cane in my hands.

"You can eat the grass?" the unknown little boy asked surprised and I smiled and tilted my head.

"Of course you can. Everything in this room is edible. Even I'm edible. But that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is, in fact frowned upon in most societies. Yeah." Hopefully they would listen to me. It's just disgusting. "Enjoy. Go on. Scoot, scoot." I noticed that Augustus went off like a rocket and refrained from rolling my eyes. Greedy boy. I noticed that Mr Salt was staring at me and to be frank, I didn't like it. I stared unblinkingly at him and I think I may have scared him as he stepped backwards and went away. "Heh!" I was rather proud of myself and couldn't help but smirk a little. I looked up and noticed that the unknown girl was stood near me. She was sat crossed legged on the floor near the river and had a flower in her hand. I walked over to the end of the pathway next to the waterfall and grabbed a pink ladel and a cup. I always kept these here in case I wanted to test it (though it was always perfect) or I wanted a drink. I scooped some up and walked over to the girl and sat next to her. She gasped in shock when I stuck the cup in front of her face. "Here, try it."

She grabbed the cup and took a sip. I watched as her eyes widened and she grinned. "This is amazing." she said.

"I know." I giggled. I grabbed a flower up myself and bit into it. "What do you think?" I asked and spread my arms so to motion the room and not just the drink in her hand or flower.

"It's amazing." she said sincerely and it made me smile.

"Really?"

"Yes, I have no idea how you came up with it, but it is amazing." she grinned.

"Heh, well - I'm Willy Wonka. Chocolate extrordinaire." She laughed softly. "What is your name? I can't keep refering you to girl in my head." She blushed slightly.

"My name is Rachel." she said.

"Rachel." I echoed. "I like it." Suddenly it was interrupted by the sound of Veruca Salt.

"Daddy, look over there. What is it? It's a little person. Over there, by the waterfall." she said and pointed to where my beloved Oompa Loompa's were stood. She had a lolly in her hand and she was looking at them curiously. I got up and helped the girl, Rachel up. We walked over to where the rest of the group was and stilled.

"There's two of them." Mrs. Beauregarde said from behind me. I didn't like that she was so close to me. Ew.

"There's more than two." Mr Teavee muttered and I was just listening to the random things they were saying.

"Where do they come from?" Mrs Gloop said in her thick German accent. She had a piece of chocolate in her hand and was staring up at the Oompa Loompa's. They were in red leather outfits with their hair pulled back as usual.

"Who are they?" the little boy with Rachel asked curiously. At least he asked a proper question. I was about to answer when Mike interrupted rather rudely in my opinion.

"Are they real people?" he sneered, which offended me. Of course they were. Better than Mike anyday. So there.

"Of course they're real people. They're Oompa-Loompas." I said slightly annoyed.

"Oompa-Loompas?" Rachel asked curiously and not at all in a bad way, which made me smile.

"Imported, direct from Loompaland." I told her and she was about to reply when she was cut off my the annoying little boy's father; Mr Tevee.

"There's no such place." he said.

"What?" I said sharply. He rolled his eyes and looked at me. I was not impressed. How dare he say that!

"Mr Wonka, I teach high-school geography, and I'm here to tell you…" he droned and I really didn't want to listen to him and especially not if he was going to tell me that Loompa Land was not a real place.

"Well, then you'll know all about it, and, oh, what a terrible country it is." I said and turned my nose up at him. I looked at him from the corner of my eyes. I wanted him to know I did not care. He looked a little annoyed.

"What is it like?" Rachel asked curiously and her eyes were a little wide with it. I smiled at her and started my story.

"The whole place is nothing but think jungles infested by the most dangerous beasts in the entire world. Hornswogglers and snozzwangers and those terrible, wicked whangdoodles. I went to Loompaland looking for exotic new flavours for candy. Instead, I found the Oompa-Loompas." I said and she smiled slightly. "They lived in tree houses to escape from the fierce creatures who lived below. The Oompa-Loompas ate nothing but green caterpillars, which tasted revolting." I noticed she grimaced and I couldn't help but do the same in rememberance. "The Oompa-Loompas kept looking for other things to mash up with the caterpillars to make them taste better. Red beetles, the bark of the bong-bong tree. All of them beastly, but not quite so beastly as the caterpillars. But the food they longed for the most was the cocoa bean. An Oompa- Loompa was lucky if he found three or four cocoa beans a year. But, oh, how they craved them. All they'd ever think about was cocoa beans. The cocoa bean happens to be the thing from which chocolate is made, so I told the chief… 'Come live in my factory. You can have all the cocoa beans you want! I will even pay your wages in cocoa beans if you wish!'. They are such wonderful workers. I feel I must warn you, though, they are rather mischievous. Always making jokes." I said with a myschievious smile at the end thinking about the songs.

"Augustus, my child, that is not a good thing you do!" Mrs Gloop shouted suddenly and they all turned around to see that Augustus was on the other side of the bank and was drinking from the river. Oh no, the boy is ruining my chocolate. Disgusting boy.

"Hey, little boy. My chocolate must be untouched by human hands." I said a little anxiously. The greedy boy did not listen to me and went back for more. I closed my eyes in disappointment, anger and annoyance. He had fallen in and had ruined the chocolate and it would ne needed to be done over again so it would be perfect. His head came up and he gasped for air. One down, I though.

"He'll drown! He can't swim! Save him!" his mother yelled. "Augustus! No! Augustus!" I looked up and smiled slightly when I saw the pipes coming closer. They slowly descended into the river and created a whirlpool. The boy went round and round and was sucked up the pipe. "Augustus! Watch out!" his mother yelled.

"There he goes." Violet said emotionless and snapped her gum, making me twitch.

"Call the fire brigade!" Mrs Gloop shouted and I nearly rolled my eyes.

"Will he be alright?" I heard a soft voice from next to me say. I looked down to see a very worried Rachel. I smiled softly and reassuringly at her and she smiled slightly back.

"It's a wonder how that pipe is big enough." Mrs Beauregarde said in slight amazement and horrror as she look up at the pipe. Chocolate was coming out of the sides and I would be damned if I needed to get a new one.

"It isn't big enough. He's slowing down." The little boy said.

"He's gonna stick." Mike drawled.

"I think he has." his father agreed. Augustus had now managed to get stuck inside the pipe and was trying to wriggle to get free. I was praying that he woud not break the pipe.

"He's blocked the whole pipe." Mr Salt said, pointing out the obvious.

"Look. The Oompa-Loompas." the little boy exclaimed and pointed to where my Oompa Loompa's were. I was excited. I was finally going to be able to hear a song. The only one who didn't have a song yet was the little boy, Charlie who I now only knew because I heard Rachel mutter it. He didn't have a test either. The whole tour could be his test, I decided.

"What are they doing?" Veruca asked.

"Why, I believe they're going to treat us to a little song. It is quite a special occasion of course. They haven't had a fresh audience in many a moon." I told her with a smile.

Augustus Gloop, Augustus Gloop, The great big, greedy nincompoop,
Augustus Gloop, so big and vile, So greedy, foul and infantile,
'Come on!' we cried 'the time is ripe, To sent him shooting up the pipe!'
But don't, dear children, be alarmed,
Augustus Gloop will not be harmed, Augustus Gloop will not be harmed.
Although, of course, we must admit, He will be altered quite a bit,
Slowly wheels go round and round, And cogs begin to grind and pound,
This greedy brute, this louse's ear, Is loved by people everywhere,
For who could hate or bear a grudge, Against a luscious bit if fudge?

When the song finished Augustus went shooting up the pipe and into the machine along with the chocolate. I clapped my hands gleefully. That was an amazing song, they did very well. Wow. "Bravo! Well done! Aren't they delightful? Aren't they charming?" I said and looked at them all. At least Rachel seemed to enjoy it, even though some worry was still there for the boy. I knew he would be alright so I didn't think about it.

"I do say, that all seemed rather rehearsed." Mr Salt said, spoiling my fun.

"Like they knew it was gonna happen." Mike agreed and I scowled.

"Oh, poppycock." I muttered and grabbed my cane and started to walk away. Mrs Glopp came running up to me and I backed away a little.

"Where is my son? Where does that pipe go to?" she said axiously.

"That pipe," I said and quickly thought. "It just so happens to lead directly to the room where I make the most delicious kind of strawberry flavoured, chocolate-coated fudge." I grinned but Mrs Gloop seemed to get more nervous and scared after I told her that.

"Then he will be made into strawberry flavoured, chocolate-coated fudge. They'll be selling him by the pound all over the world?" she said, worry and fear clear in her voice but I couldn't help but blanch. Did she not listen to what I said about cannibalism before or was she ignoring me? Yeesh. Besides it would taste terrible. Yuck.

"No. I wouldn't allow it." I told her seriously. "The taste would be terrible. Can you imagine Augustus-flavoured, chocolate coated Gloop? Ew. No-one would buy it." I ignored her offended look, it was only the truth. I turned to my right when I heard a laugh and smirked slightly when I saw Rachel trying to stifle it. At least she found me funny. I called for one of the Oompa Loompa's and in a few second one came over and I bent down. "I want you to take Mrs Gloop up to the fudge room, kay? Help her find her son. Take a long stick and start poking around in the big chocolate-mixing barrel, kay?" I motioned with my cane what he should do. The Oompa Loompa nodded and bowed and I did the same. I straightened up and nodded my head to Mrs Gloop when the Oompa Loompa pulled on her skirt. She whined but hobbled away, chocolate still in hand. One gone.

"Mr Wonka?" I heard and turned around to see it was Charlie.

"Huh?"

"Why would Augustus' name already be in the Oompa-Loompa song, unless th. . .?" he said but I quickly cut him off, I did not need to be talking about this right now. Not on my to-do list.

"Improvisation is a parlour trick. Anyone can do it. You, little girl. Say something. Anything." I said to Violet. I already had the line I was going to say because I had already thought it up. I did this incase someone did ask me and I knew what this little girl would say and she didn't disappoint.

"Chewing gum."

"Chewing gum is really gross, Chewing gum I hate the most. See? Exactly the same." I grinned but it slid off when the annoying Mikes spoke up.

"No, it isn't." he sneered.

"Er, you really shouldn't mumble. Because I can't understand a word you're saying." I smiled and gripped my cane tightly. "Now, on with the tour." Finally off the subject and I was feeling better. We walked towards the edge of the grass where I knew the boat was going to come up and listened to the conversation between the lovely Rachel and Charlie.

"Are the Oompa-Loompas really joking?" he said.

"Of course they're joking. That boy will be fine." she said, making me smile. At least she believes that he will be fine. She was different than other girls and he didn't exactly know why.