Never doubt a Slytherin.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my warped mind (I probably don't even own that considering how often those sneaky and elusive creatures commonly known as plot bunnies hijack it)

This little nugget of Severus goodness was actually spawned by a remark said in a review by my good friend and superbly talented writer Third 1965 (or on her pen name is Bari Sax Player, go check her out she really is an amazing writer) on my other story Romp among the Roses.

"Remind me again just how long this drivel is?" Severus muttered under his breath to Hermione who was sitting next to him, her eyes glued to the stage which was positioned at the front of the Great hall where the teachers table normally sat.

He was being forced to endure a play being put on by the newt level Muggle studies students, the teacher of said subject Miss Argyle had taken the students to the West End of muggle London so they could experience the 'magical' world of theatre, and once they had returned the whole class had decided that their joint class project for the school year would be to put on a show for the rest of Hogwarts and their parents.

"Stop being such a grouse, they're doing marvellously." Hermione whispered back, without even looking at him.

"shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop,shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, YEH"

Severus stifled the groan that was waiting to erupt from his mouth, if there really was a hell he was positive he was in it right now and that Voldemort was going skip onto the stage wearing nothing but bobby socks and a twin set, he shuddered at that mental image, think happy thoughts Severus, happy thoughts he chanted to himself trying to cleanse his mind. A soft squeeze of his knee brought him back to reality.

"He got friendly, holding my hand"

"I love this song."

" While she got friendly down in the sand"

"Why? It's utter rot" He asked incredulously.

"He was sweet, just turned eighteen"

"Because it's all about them remembering that special person, their first love and the differences between boys and girls." She retorted turning in her seat to give him that look she gave him in public which meant I know I'm right so just be quiet or there'll be trouble later.

"Well she was good you know what I mean."

He tried hard not to sneer at her sappy words, really he did, but like his gag reflex whenever he saw Filch muttering sweet nothings to his blasted cat it was purely involuntary, unluckily for him Hermione saw it and glared.

"Judging from that look on your face I'm going to presume that you don't agree with me." She hissed, leaning over the arm of the chair so that her lips were right next to his ear.

Severus shifted slightly in his seat as he felt his cock stirring in his pants "It's a story about hormonal teenagers, I'd like to think that what I don't know about teenagers could be written on the back of a stirring rod." Did she just snort? How dare she snort, she's going to regret snorting at me the cheeky wench. "You don't believe me fine, she's an idealistic teenage girl who believes romance and the power of true love and he's a stereotypical teenage male who's bragging about his conquest when in reality he's probably still a virgin and will do and say any thing to get his end away."

"Nobody cares what either of you think, now shut up I want to know if Sandy gets her man." Whispered Rolanda who was sat on Hermione's other side.

Both Hermione and Severus bristled at being told off like naughty school children but managed to sit there quietly until Filius leaned over and asked Hermione what a pussy wagon was and if she thought Minerva would like one for her birthday. Severus was grateful for his ability to keep a straight face as Hermione told the diminutive Charms professor that a pussy wagon really wasn't a suitable gift for their illustrious headmistress.

Severus heaved a sigh of relief as the curtain came down and the Great Hall brightened again automatically to signal the start of the interval, he stood up and briskly walked towards the drinks table that was situated by the large wooden doors at the back of the hall and helped himself to a large glass of the fruit punch that was being served, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a slim hip flask inconspicuously emptying some of it's contents into his drink.

"I do hope you've enough to go around Severus? It would be bad form otherwise." Hermione smiled at him as she held out her glass towards him.

"You know me, I've always got enough for you" his searing gaze travelled slowly down over her body and back up again, smirking a little as he saw heated look in her eyes.

It was a widely acknowledged fact around school that the Heads of Slytherin and Gryffindor loved to argue with each other so nobody paid close attention to the duo who were now stood in an alcove having a very heated whispered conversation.

"For goodness sake it's just light hearted entertainment, get your stick out of your arse Severus."

"About hormone driven teenagers, I defer to my earlier sentence when I say what I don't know about teenagers could be written on the back of a stirring rod. It doesn't matter which decade we are in teenage boys will do and say anything to have sex, that also includes bragging, posturing, flashing and basically behaving like a twat, unfortunately some boys don't grow out of it" he paused briefly to sip his drink "surely you should know that by now you spent your teenage years with Weasley and Potter." The twinkle in his eyes belied the disdain that dripped from his tongue when he spoke their names.

One of his favourite things to do was bantering with the Transfiguration Professor, he loved to watch her face as she reacted to the things he said or thought of a witty comeback, he didn't need to use his Legilimens skill to know what she was thinking because her face was an open book and right now judging by the smug look she was giving him Hermione thought she had the upper hand in their conversation.

"It comes as no surprise that the male species brags about sex, the question I have, is whether you've ever bragged about your abilities?"

"Miss Granger on my honour as a Slytherin I have never bragged about my sexual prowess."

"Really?"she asked arching her eyebrow.

"If you're such a doubting Thomas perhaps you would like a repeat performance from this morning Hermione?" he spoke using the low seductive tones he knew drove her wild in the bedroom.

Hermione slowly slid a perfectly manicured finger round the rim of her punch glass "A repeat performance is always welcome Severus" she said matching his seductive tone "I however was referring to the little chat we had a while ago where you said and I quote 'I could make you cum without laying a finger on you'."

"I wasn't bragging Hermione."

"Excuse me Professors, Mr Filch asked me to deliver this letter to Professor Granger." A third year Hufflepuff held out a scroll that had a ministry seal and the words URGENT written on it.

Hermione dismissed the the young girl and opened the scroll "Great this is all I need!" she muttered as she read the letter.

"Is everything all right?" Severus asked, a touch of concern lacing question.

"Bloody Ministry have cancelled all outward bound international portkeys for the next couple of days due to some criminal on the loose, now I need to find a flight that will get me to Chicago in time for my Transfiguration conference, the meet and greet is tomorrow night" She ran a hand wearily over her face. "Ahh buggering hell, I promised I would help supervise the after show party for the kids

"Hermione, go and organise what ever you need to for your conference and I will let Minerva know why you're missing the last half of this tedious play." Severus took her glass and gave her a little push towards the staff exit out of the hall "I will also take over supervision of the dunderheads."

The lights flickered on and off in the hall to signify that the second half of the play was about to start.

"Thanks Sev, I owe you one of what ever you fancy." Hermione said with a smile before slipping through the slim doorway.

Severus admired the way slim fitting pencil skirt hugged her pert bottom in a most delicious way, he waited until Hermione had disappeared out of sight before explaining to the headmistress about Hermione's absence.

It was nearly midnight when Severus knocked briefly on her door before walking in, he found Hermione in the middle of what looked to be a parchment bomb site, not knowing what to say he simply moved some papers off the nearest seat and sat down.

"Sorry about the mess, since I'm travelling by plane I've had to transfer everything to a suitcase and get the ministry sort out my travel documents bloody quill pushers, they were lucky it's illegal to cast hexes in the ministry because I was this close to losing it." she held her thumb and forefinger just millimetres apart, with a swish of her wand the mass of paperwork sorted itself into two piles and flew into her open briefcase. Breathing a sigh of relief at the now spotless room Hermione walked over to Severus and gave him a searing kiss. "Thank you for tonight Severus I couldn't have got everything done in time if it wasn't for you."

Pulling her onto his lap he nuzzled her ear and murmured "How long do you have till you leave to catch your flight?"

"I have to check in at half three to catch my five am flight, so I was going to have a long hot shower to try and relax myself before getting in that flying death trap, would you care to join me?" she asked undoing the buttons on his teachers robes to reveal a bare chest and some black flannel pyjama bottoms.

She giggled and leaned forward to kiss his pale chest "The female population and a few of the male for that matter would go crazy in a fit of hormones if they knew how you went about the school dressed like this under your school robes, not that I'm complaining I love

seeing the school's scariest teacher in such disarray."

Severus growled sexily and vanished the rest of their clothes wandlessly, he stood up and wrapped her legs around his waist as he strode smoothly through the living room into the bedroom with it's small en-suite shower that was quickly filling with steam from the running shower.

Inside the shower cubicle Severus wasted no time slipping his hard cock inside her hot wet heat "Gods! I fucking love feeling you wrapped around me" he grunted as he adjusted his stance so he could hit the spot better, his hips thrusting hard and fast as they both got nearer to their climaxes.

"Are you feeling relaxed now?" Severus asked gently holding Hermione as she recovered from her orgasm under the warm cascading water.

"Mmm very, but as you are going to be stuck here teaching and Lucius is on a business trip with Draco in Germany I'm going to have to rely on Mr Darcy to keep my mind off the fact I'm in a metal death trap thousands of miles above the ground. I hope you don't mind sharing me with another tall, dark and moody man" She replied nibbling his collarbone.

"You do realise that you belong only to myself and Lucius."

Hermione stepped out of the shower and wrapped a large white fluffy towel around her body "As long as you keep up the good work pleasuring me, you've got the job for life" she called out cheekily over her shoulder as she pulled on a fresh pair of knickers.

"So I couldn't get rid of you if I tried then, because it's just not physically possible for me to be bad at sex." He stated cockily grabbing her from behind and rubbing his semi erect penis against her arse.

"You're insatiable man, go do something else you're good at and make me a brew while I get dressed otherwise I'm never going to be ready on time." she said laughing and patting his retreating bum.

"Are you all packed?" He called out from the kitchen.

"Yes, I just need to pack the snacks that are on the table into my handbag."

"Would you like me to do that for you?"

"Please that would be fabulous, thank you honey."

Severus summoned his teaching robes and retrieved a small gift wrapped box that had a timed notice me not spell on it and slipped it inside the handbag along with the rest of the snacks.

'Hermione really should know better than to doubt a Slytherin, Mr Darcy doesn't stand a chance' he thought with a smirk as he carried two mugs of tea through to the living room.

"I'm really going to miss having a decent brew, it doesn't matter if I make it myself it just doesn't taste right." She said wrapping her fingers around her favourite cup.

"Well hurry back to me and you can have it just the way you like when ever and as often as you need and want it. It's going to miss the way you worship it as soon as you wake up with those sexy sleepy eyes of yours, gratefully wrapping your hands around it's smooth warm hardness first thing in the morning, enjoying the way your tongue reverently licks the rim and the graceful way your mouth accepts the hot liquid, swallowing with out losing a drop followed by a quick flick of your pink tongue to make sure your luscious lips are clean." Severus replied, giving her a sultry glance over his own mug.

"I agree there really is nothing better than that first cup of tea in the morning." Hermione drained her cup and stood up. "Severus you really should go to bed you'll be knackered in the morning, I'll see myself to the apparition point." Shrinking down her bags she placed them in her pocket and gave Severus a long lingering kiss "Be nice to my cubs Sev, you know I'll check when I get home."

Severus hid a yawn behind his hand "I promise now get going before I decide to send your apologies to the conference, tie you to my bed and ravish you senseless for the entire week."

Hermione hugged him and kissed his nose before saying her goodbyes, the last thing she heard as she closed the door to her rooms was Severus saying that he was sure that she would enjoy her flight a bit more this time.

A/N:Any ideas on why Severus thinks Hermione is going to enjoy flying this time more than the others. Please review and let me know what you think.

For my non British friends a brew is slang for a cup of tea in the north of England, not to be confused with American slang for beer. (I'm a northerner)

Much Love

Her Royal Goddess Xx