Okay, so this is a one shot, and my first story. =] You guys know the drill though, I do not own Naruto, or the lyrics, which are to Cry by Kelly Clarkson. Aki is my own original character and I do not own Shidonii. She is Shidonii-kun's OC. =] Go read her stories, they're awesome. Anyway, enjoy ~.- 3

If anyone asks,

I'll tell them we both just moved on.

When people all stare

I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk.

I could feel all the members eyes on me as I walked out of the leaders room and back to my own. I could hear the whispers. On a normal day, I would have been furious. I would have flipped out on each of them, using my usual plastic cups as weapons to each of their heads. I knew they only cared, but today, nothing mattered. Not my temper, not their worried whispers. Nothing. Today wasn't a usual day. Today was the day that I felt my whole world fall apart.

Whenever I see you,

I'll swallow my pride

and bite my tongue.

Pretend I'm okay with it all,

Act like there's nothing wrong.

I could feel the lump rising in my throat. Refusing to cry in front of anyone I made a dash to my room and slammed the door behind me, locking it. Not that in here was any better. We shared this room, Deidara and I...and he was everywhere. As I looked around I saw nothing but reminders of him. I walked to the dresser and picked up a framed picture. It was one Shiidoni had taken only a few days prior. Seeing our surprised faces and the memory of how she snuck up on us with a camera while we were sitting by the lake together should have made me smile. Instead, I felt a familiar stab at my heart. The rage finally came. I threw the picture on the floor with as much for as I could.

Is it over yet?

Can I open my eyes?

Is this as hard as it gets?

Is this what it feels like to really cry?

I swiped at the remainder of the things on the dresser, sending them crashing into the wall and onto the floor. I ripped his clothes out of the dresser, out of the closet. His extra clay. Everything I could find that reminded me of him I destroyed. I could feel the stinging behind my eyes, a feeling that was so foreign to me. I was an Uchiha, I don't cry.

Cry.

Looking around the destroyed room and feeling the pain in my chest, I gave in. I slid down the wall, and sitting on the floor, I cried. The leaders words came flooding back into my mind, the memory of just moments ago too fresh for my liking.

I turned around to leave having just finished giving the leader my mission report. I was eager to get back to find Shidonii and Tobi to pass the time until Deidara returned from his own mission.

"Just a moment, Aki. There's one more thing you need to know."

"Yes? What is that?" I asked, turning back around, expecting to hear a request to run some sort off errand. Being the newbie I got stuck with a lot of those. I saw him pull a headband and ring out of his pocket. I stopped, forgetting to even breathe. It couldn't be his. I wouldn't believe it.

"Deidara, in order to attempt to finish his mission, used his last resort jutsu. I'm sorry Aki," he said pushing the items toward me, "he won't be back."

I reached toward the headband and ring, and hands shaking, put them in my own pocket.

"Thank you leader-sama, for telling me" I bowed before slowly walking out the door.

The memory brought more tears. I cried harder, hugging my arms around me while shaking, trying not to scream. It couldn't be happening. It couldn't be.

If anyone asks,

I'll tell them we just grew apart.

Yeah what do I care

If they believe me or not.

Four days. Four days I laid there, crying. I couldn't move, I didn't want to move. Tobi, Shidonii, and Itachi stopped by frequently. Trying to get me to talk, to eat, or to just sit there while I cried. I knew I was worrying all of them, especially Itachi. Even though Deidara and him never got along, he hated seeing his little sister like this. If anything it made his hatred for Dei grow. I could often hear him muttering about "that stupid idiot and his stupid art." I knew I should talk to them and I should feel guilty for worrying them but, it seemed that I didn't have any other feelings anymore. I felt pain, and sadness, and by the third day, anger. Anger at Dei for leaving me. Anger that he was stupid enough to use that jutsu knowing damn well what it would do to me. I felt like he had been selfish.

Whenever I feel

Your memory is breaking my heart.

I'll pretend i'm okay with it all

Act like there's nothing wrong.

By the end of the night on the fourth day, I decided it was time to move. Looking around the room I noticed that someone had attempted to clean it up a little, but Dei's things, everything I tried to destroy was gone. Panicking, I searched the room, cursing myself for destroying his things. Destroying the memories of him. I opened the closet and found all of it there, sitting in a pile. I looked through all the pictures of us that I kept in a shoebox, thanking whatever God or Goddess that may be listening that they escaped my wrath. All of the pictures brought the pain back to my heart. There were a few of us sparring, numerous ones of different festivals and vacations we had been on, ones of him chasing Tobi around (swearing to kill him for whatever antic he pulled of course), and then I came across one that finally brought a smile to my face. It was a picture of Dei and I, his arms wrapped around my waist from the first day we started dating. The awkward night where he finally admitted to loving me, after a lot of pushing and lectures from Shidonii.

Is it over yet?

Can I open my eyes?

Is this as hard as it gets?

Is this what it feels like to really cry?

Cry.

I continued my search, soon coming across something I didn't recognize. It was a small wrapped box. How had he hidden something from me? Oh, because i'm oblivious to pretty much everything of course. I slowly unwrapped it revealing a tiny box. Opening the box, I gasped. It was a small diamond ring, and a tiny note with the words "Will you marry me?" scrawled in small handwriting, one I quickly recognized as Deidaras. I put my hand to my mouth in shock. I was trying to wrap my head around this. When had he decided this? Or planned on doing it...?

I'm talking in circles

I'm lying they know it

Why won't this just all go away?

A knock on my door startled me out of my thoughts.

"Come in." I said meekly.

Shidonii popped her head in, Itachi standing just behind.

"You're out of bed." She stated, a little shocked. "Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Is she okay? That's a dumb question." Itachi replied, rolling his eyes. "She's been sitting there like a vegetable for days."

"She's not now. Now is she?"

I didn't even need to look up to know that Shidonni was glaring daggers into Itachi.

"I'm...I'm okay." I said softly.

"Aki, don't lie," Shidonni said, crouching beside me, "you can talk to us if you-" Her sentence trailed off as she looked at what was in my hand.

"Did you know?" I asked.

"N-no...He never said anything to me about that." Mumbling shortly after about Deidara keeping secrets from her. If I wasn't so shocked, I actually may have giggled, knowing she was mad at her best friend for keeping such a big secret from her.

"I did" Itachi said from behind us.

"What?" we both asked at once.

"I knew. About that." Itachi said pointing toward the ring. "He figured I was the closest thing you had to a dad, and he came to ask my permission before he left for his mission...he was going to do it as soon as he got back.."

Is it over yet?

Can I open my eyes?

Is this as hard as it gets?

Is this what it's like to really cry?

I stared at the ring for a moment longer before getting up and finding a necklace chain. I slipped it through the ring and dug into my pocket for his Akatsuki ring, and slipped that through as well. I put the necklace around my neck and closed the clasp and held the rings close to my heart.

Cry.

"Aki, are you alright?" she asked again.

"Yeah." I answered, with a little more confidence. "Yeah, I know it's going to be hard. I'm going to miss him. But, time heals all wounds, right? And I have you guys to help me through. I'll be okay, eventually."

Cry.

Thanks for reading! Reviewing would be appreciated =]