Hey, Kichi Hisaki here! I'm still working on DSL, but (and this is embarrassing) I hit a bump: I FORGOT TO PLAN OUT CHAPTER FIVE. And, it just so happens, that Chapter five happens to hold a very important piece that I can't just slide into a conversation. I have to drag it out, stretch it, leave it hanging at parts and then smack you with it across the face. And, since I already planned out Chapter six to the letter, I have to make it so that the transition is seamless between the two of them. ...It's a lot harder than I thought. Good news is, I've gotten four out of the five pages written, and a basic outline to follow, so it should be up within the next...month or so. Sorry for the wait.

IN THE MEANTIME, I've been absorbing everything about the Avengers via osmosis. It's AWESOME. And, because I hit another break (literally, too, nearly snapped my foot in half just last week), I decided to check out Avenger!kink on lj. I found a prompt, and as soon as I read it, I was all, "HOLY FUCK I CAN DO THIS." So I wrote this up in about 45 minutes. Here's the prompt ( avengerkink . livejournal 7293 . html ? thread = 13419389#t13419389 ), if you want to read that before you read this.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters or the Tower in any way, shape, or form. Though I dearly wish I did, I don't. And if I did, then Coulson wouldn't have died. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT, JOSS WHEDON!

start

The first time it happened was after a hard battle. They were both exhausted, both tired, and both frustrated. Neither one knew who started it, but it ended with Steve bending Tony over one of the tables in the lab.

Steve started apologizing immediately afterwards, saying all sorts of things, that he was just frustrated, that he didn't think about Tony that way at all, really. After several minutes of rambling, Tony had finally interrupted him and told him that it was okay, he did the no-strings-attached thing a lot. "I'm kinda famous for it, actually," he joked, throwing in a grin for good measure.

The Captain had smiled, embarrassed, and headed upstairs to clean up.

After he was long gone, Tony tried to tell himself that it was okay.

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Then it happened again.

Something had happened to the elevator ("I can't believe this happened, I'm going to kill someone, or reprogram someone, you hear me Jarvis!"), leaving Steve and Tony stranded for a few hours. They were fine, though, and they had a good amount of air, and spent the time trapped together just talking.

They were laughing, trading jokes and stories, having a good time...and then they were kissing. Tony just went with it, because they didn't even kiss last time. Last time was just needy, both needing to feel skin on skin, both needing something warm and alive under their hands.

The clothes came off, hands wandering everywhere, and Tony loved the sound of Steve's voice when he took him in his mouth. Then his knees were over Steve's shoulders and there was a wonderful burn that just felt so right, and then Tony's mouth was running away from him, babbling all sorts of things and before he knew it he was whiting out.

When he came back Tony was curled up in Steve's arms. 'This...this is nice,' he thought. 'I can get used to this.'

But as soon as Steve realized that Tony was awake, he smiled and gently nudged the man aside, hands going for the discarded clothes. Tony's heart sank, and reached for his clothes as well with a flippant grin.

He's seen that smile too many times before.

The elevator started moving a little while later.

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Before Tony knew it, it had become a regular thing. They would go about they're daily lives, doing Steve and Tony things, doing the Avengers things, and occasionally sleeping together. The team had eventually found out, and Steve had reassured them that it wasn't serious, right Tony? Tony had rolled his eyes and grinned, saying that he was just in it for the sex, that it was good and that was all he wanted.

Natasha had merely rolled her eyes. Clint said that he didn't need to know, thanks, Bruce agreeing with him with a red face. Thor nodded seriously and said that he had several partners in Asgard like that until he had met his "Lady Jane".

So they were fuck-buddies. Tony could deal with that.

Really.

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Steve was pulling up his pants when he said it.

"I have a date this weekend."

Tony blinked up at the man with wide eyes. "Oh. Really?"

"Yeah." And he blushed.

'Okay,' he thought, pushing himself up a bit and managing not to let his hands shake, 'so he has a date.' "With who?" he asked, sounding interested and curious and happy for the man.

Steve smiled. "Her names's Jessica," he said, and the flush on his cheeks spread to his ears. "She's, uh, she's pretty swell. Met her a few weeks ago while going out on a jog. Finally got the nerve to ask her to dinner with me today."

Tony nodded as the information rolled around in his head. A few weeks. He had met her a few weeks ago. 'We've had sex seven times in the pasty few weeks,' he thought. He swallowed.

'How often has he been thinking of her?'

He grinned. "Do you think she has a Captain America fetish?"

Steve's flush grew again, spreading down his neck and he puffed out his cheeks in embarrassment. God, he was gorgeous. "Tony," he admonished.

"Just saying, you never know."

Steve left not too long after that and Tony could only try to keep his breathing level.

He could do this. He could do this. Really.

...No, he couldn't.

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"What's with you lately, Tony?"

Tony turned bleary eyes over to Clint, who had plopped down beside him on the couch. He shrugged and took another swig of the bottle. "Nothing."

"Bullshit," Clint said, reaching over to snag the bottle out of Tony's hand. The genius could only glare mildly in response.

"You know, you're kinda annoying," he slurred. He flapped a hand at the man and tried to quell the dizziness that came with that simple action.

"And you're drinking yourself into a stupor." Clint set the bottle aside, frowning. "Seriously, what's eating at you?"

Tony scowled. "Nothing."

A sigh. "Do I need to get Cap?"

That had Tony shooting up, never mind the dizziness and the way his vision darkened for a moment. "No!" he shouted, grabbing Clint's arm. "No, don't get Steve. He, he can't..."

Wide blue eyes regarded Tony with surprise. Clint nodded slowly. "Okay...Okay, I won't get Cap." When Tony literally sagged with relief, his frown deepened. "Are you...is this about Steve?"

Tony bit his lip and didn't look at the man. "...He's dating, dating Jessica."

At that, Clint's eyebrows rose to his hairline. "Don't tell me you're jealous."

"M'not," was the very unconvincing reply.

The archer was silent a moment, carefully removing Tony's limp fingers from his arm and slipping his own finger around the other's wrist. "I thought you were just, I dunno. Fuck buddies."

A sniff. "We are. Were. Whatever."

"Yeah, okay, I'm not qualified to handle this." Clint breathed out heavily through his nose, chanced a glance at Tony, then sagged. "...Damnit. Come on, genius. Let's get you to bed."

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Something was different this time.

Tony didn't know what it was, puzzled over this...something different as Steve's hands wandered, mouth leaving a wet trail as it wandered down his neck and over his shoulders. Usually, it was fast. Not rough, just fast. It didn't last long, the foreplay wasn't something they did too much of (though Tony wished his could just spend hours mapping out Steve's skin with his hands). They did just enough to get in the other in the mood and move onto the finale.

'Maybe that's it,' Tony thought, gasping as a thumb dug just so into the join of his hip and groin. 'Maybe we're just moving a little slower today.'

He could do that, he was all behind that. Anything to make this brief moment last longer. Tony ran a hand through Steve's hair, fingernails dragging down the back of his head and scrapping over the sensitive skin just below the hairline, delighting in the shiver that stuttered the lips on his shoulder, and the breathy moan that fanned out over his wet skin.

God, he loved the sound of his voice.

What he didn't expect was Steve to grab his hands and pull away.

"What?" Tony frowned, worried. They never stopped before, unless it was an Avengers emergency. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, just..." Steve breathed deeply and licked his lips. He sat up, Tony trying to follow him, but the smaller man was pushed down. "I don't, I don't want you touching me."

Tony flinched.

What the hell? Everything was fine, Steve never had objections before, and he was certainly in the mood just seconds ago, so why was he –? He must have realized what Tony was thinking. "N-not like that, I meant, I need a minute! Sorry, I just, gosh," Steve stuttered, and ran a hand through his hair, looking...distraught? "Tony, I just..."

Tony frowned, concerned now. "What is it? Steve, is something wrong? Do I need to go get Coulson, or Bruce, or a doctor? Are you sick? Wait, can you get sick? Talk to me, Steve, or I can't –"

"Tony...You love me, don't you?"

It felt like the breath had been knocked out of him.

Something cold settled under his skin. Oh God, oh Godohgodohgodohgod... He swallowed, staring up at the blond. "Did...did Clint tell you?" he asked, voice cracking just a bit, hands shaking just enough in Steve's hands.

Those hands squeezed his gently, belying the broken look on Steve's face.

"I'm so sorry, Tony," and Tony jerked, just a little at that, because even though he knew, from the first time, that Steve didn't want him like that, this was rejection, actual rejection because Steve knew this time –

Lips pressed down against his chastely.

When Steve pulled away, his eyes were wet, and Tony just wanted to kiss those tears away, because he loved him, even if it was his fault those tears were there. Even if he wanted to run away because he couldn't take the heart break.

"I broke up with Jessica," Steve said, reaching a hand up to run a finger along Tony's jaw, just barely touching, making the man tremble, brown eyes wide. "Clint had told me, and I just...suddenly I just couldn't be with her, Tony, because, gosh, Tony."

Tony shook his head, trying to pull his hands out of Steve's grip but couldn't. "No," he said, "no, you can't do that, not because of me. You don't, you don't love me."

"But I do!" A tear fell from Steve's eyes and landed on the arc reactor. "I do, I always, there was always something there, but I just didn't, I didn't know, and with Jessica it was just..." He sobbed, the hand on his face reaching just further back to grip Tony's hair, gently. "I'm so sorry, Tony. I should've realized, and then maybe I wouldn't have hurt you but I did. I took what I could from you and just, just left you, every time, and how could I have done that?"

Tony's throat felt swollen, and his heart beat at an erratic pace against his reactor. "You didn't know," he said weakly, fighting the heat behind his eyes. "I... It's okay."

Steve stared at him for a moment, just looking at him, before his face crumpled again and he leaned down to steal Tony's breath away in a bruising kiss.

Something was different this time.

They moved slowly, lips kissing away the tear tracks and hands wandering over skin as if they had never laid together before. Steve took Tony in his lap, pushing and rolling at an easy, gentle pace, taking his time, both of them gasping and just feeling each other. And when it was over, when they had both come down from their high, Steve didn't pull away, didn't pull out, just wrapped Tony in his arms and laid down with the man, large hand moving slowly over sweaty skin and mouth trailing lazy kisses over Tony's face.

He whispered over and over that he was sorry, that he loved him and he would never hurt him like that again.

Tony drifted off to that, an exhausted, sad, but so, so happy feeling fluttering away in his chest.

He could do this. Really.

end

AAAAAAAAAAND that's all there is.

Love you.

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Hearts. :)