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Chapter 1

They'd wanted to send him back. To finish his tour of duty. In the end it was his dislocated shoulder that saved him, the military tribunal deciding that by the time he was fit for service again he would have served his whole sentence behind bars, and public opinion would not allow a war hero- however unconventional, to go to jail. In the end Tommy spent six months on a military base running drills while his shoulder healed before being honorably discharged from the army with the sounds of Sparta still ringing in his ears.

January 14th

Rain lashed down, beating against the windscreen of the second-hand Ford as Tommy maneuvered it one handed around the last bend before pulling into his brother's driveway. Turning off the engine he sat for a few moments and breathed deeply. It wouldn't be the first time he'd spoken to Brendan since his tap-out in Sparta but it was close.

The brothers had shared a moment together in the hospital after Tommy's shoulder was set, Brendan couldn't stop apologizing until Tommy could have hit him again out of frustration.

Brendan, hey Brendan stop. He remembered trying to make himself heard over his brother's distress

Hey, Brendan, it's okay. I'm okay. Tommy rested his good hand on Brendan's arm, just over a fresh bruise in the shape of his own fist. Guilt, fed on the remnants of his anger gnawed at his gut.

It's not okay Tommy- Its really not. Its not. I'm so sorry. Its …. the bank was going to take our house and… what was I going to tell the girls? Brendan shook his head sadly.

Girls? Asked Tommy, roughly, the pain medication was starting to make his head spin.

Yeah, smiled Brendan, Tommy remembered how his brother's face suddenly lit up at the mention of his daughters. Yeah, I told you last night, Emily and Rosie? They're eight and six. I'd like you to meet them… Tommy gave him a skeptical look. At some point.

After that there hadn't been much time to talk. Two military policemen had taken Tommy into custody and straight from hospital to a military base where he was put on trial. Brendan phoned him when he was allowed to and Tommy had even spoken to his nieces on the phone; their tiny pixie voices barely audible over the crackling of static.

He pulled himself together and got out of the car. He only had one duffle bag of clothes, the rest was still at his father's house not that there was much else. He shouldered the bag on his good side and mounted the steps to the front door. He stood there for a few moments before knocking,

The door opened a few inches seemingly of its own accord; it took a while for Tommy to realize that the person standing on the other side was just significantly smaller than he was. He looked down and saw a small girl with Brendan's dark eyes and two blonde pigtails, staring up at him in amazement.

"Hi" he said, lamely.

"Who are you? I'm not supposed to talk to strangers."

Tommy smiled slightly "I'm your uncle, Tommy. We've spoken before, on the phone. Is your dad here?"

"Yeah…" then she turned and called into the house behind her "Daaadyy Daaadyy! Its Uncle Tomyyyyy!"

Moments later, Brendan appeared and scooped the little girl up into his arms before removing the safety chain from the door and puling Tommy into a fierce one-armed hug. Tommy stiffened for a moment at his touch, unused to any kind of affection but after a moment he reciprocated. As they broke apart he saw that Brendan's eyes were very bright.

"Come on in" said Brendan, roughly.

The house had obviously seen some of the money that Brendan had won from Sparta, everything was freshly painted, and there were nice dark floorboards in the hall. Tommy, feeling uncomfortable, wondered if he should have come at all.

"So," said Brendan, setting the girl down as he led Tommy into the kitchen, "How long have you been out?"

"Got out today." Tommy replied, ducking his head down to avoid looking his brother in the eyes. It felt wrong to admit, even now that he had nowhere else to go.

"Well, how about we make up the guest bed later. Do you want something to eat? Or-" Brendan was about to offer him coffee when Tommy cut him off.

"Is it alright? That I'm here? I mean, it's been a long time, and last time we saw each other it didn't really go so great. If you want me to leave… I mean, I've got other places I can go…"

Brendan smiled sadly but not, he was relieved to see, with pity. "Come on, I'll get the sheets. And we can introduce you properly to the girls."

"Okay." The relief was almost palpable in the air.

They were in the utility room and Brendan was up on a stepladder looking for the sheets to the spare bed before they spoke again.

"Where's Tess?" asked Tommy.

"In Portland, her sister's just had a baby wouldn't you believe it…." Brendan held up a sheet and, deeming it to be the right one, threw it down to Tommy who awkwardly caught it,

"Alright… she was there, at Sparta wasn't she?"

"Yeah, couldn't convince her to come at first but, she came around in the end- she always hated watching the fights."

"Can't think that she'll be too pleased to see me then" remarked Tommy, a slight smile in his voice.

"That's different… anyway, I beat you." Brendan got off the stepladder and took the sheets from Tommy, ushering him into the hall.

"So you did…. So you did. "

Sitting on the couch and watching SpongeBob on TV, the two little girls were waiting for them as Tommy and Brendan returned from the utility room. Two pairs of big brown eyes followed Tommy's every movement.

"Emily, Rosie, come say hello." Encouraged Brendan. Cautiously both girls slid off the couch and approached. Tommy crouched down so that he wouldn't tower over them and held out a hand for them to shake. The older one took it, smiling shyly. "I'm Emily" she said in the tiny pixie voice that Tommy remembered from the phone calls.

"And you're eight years old right?" asked Tommy. Wondering what the hell else he was supposed to say.

"I'm gonna be nine in two weeks." She replied proudly.

"And then you'll be really grown up?"

"Yes, absolutely."

"And what about you sweetie?" he asked, turning to Rosie who was hiding slightly behind her sister.

"I'm Rosie, I'm six… you're really big and scary…" she trailed of in a whisper.

"I'm not that big Rosie, you're just very small" The little girls smiled, seeming to like this explanation.

"Come on girls, its almost bed time." Said Brendan, much to Tommy's relief.

The four of them trooped into the kitchen where Tommy watched his brother make warm milk for both the girls before sending them upstairs with the promise of a story later.

"How's the shoulder?" was the first question Brendan asked upon his return from settling the girls.

"S'ok" replied Tommy, not wanting Brendan to know just how badly it was hurting him.

"I saw you favoring it today, still hurts doesn't it."

"It's fine Brendan. Leave it." He ducked his head further, studying his fingernails.

"It's not fine Tommy, I think you need to get it checked out."

"Need a job first."

"Oh, right, no army insurance…. I could-" Tommy cut him off.

"No Brendan, you've done enough… I know about the money you sent to Pilar and her kids."

"Oh, right…" Brendan seemed at a loss for words. He wiped down the bench and put some dishes in the sink. "So you entered Sparta for them?"

Tommy didn't answer for a long moment, he fished a toothpick out of his pocket and rolled it between his full lips. "Yes and no… the money was for them, the fight was for me."

"Right. So it's okay then- that I sent them the money?"

Tommy didn't answer, just stared at his hands. "I wish I'd been the one to do it. I owe Manny my life." His voice was rougher than before and Brendan saw his shoulders tense slightly.

Brendan crossed the room in a few long strides and put his arm around Tommy, pulling him into an awkward sideways hug. For a few seconds Tommy froze at the touch before patting Brendan on the back in return.

For a moment Brendan felt that he was properly fulfilling his big brother duties, that even after the terrible events of their childhood, theirs could still be a relationship worth salvaging, that not all their bridges had been burned. He smiled down at Tommy who was examining his fingernails with increased diligence.

"Ready to go to bed?" Brendan asked him.

"Yeah," Tommy's voice had returned to normal and he gave Brendan a rare half-smile.

January 15th

It was at about three in the morning that Brendan woke, his ears pricked. He'd heard a strange noise coming from downstairs. As he relaxed almost into sleep again he heard the noise a second time. A strangled cry of fear.

Tommy.

Brendan was out of bed in seconds, he checked on the girls as he passed their room down the hall but they were both still sleeping peacefully.

Brendan reached the guestroom downstairs and listened for a moment, hoping that maybe the nightmare had passed but from the other side of the door came a sob and then another, a low rasping sound.

Brendan quietly pushed open the door and, without thinking at all, he grabbed Tommy by both shoulders and shook him awake.

Tommy's immediate yell of agony told his brother all he needed to know about the state of his shoulder. He was drenched in a cold sheen of sweat, dark hair sticking to his forehead. His eyes, wild and unseeing, focused slowly on Brendan as his breathing returned to normal. Up close, Brendan could see that his face was streaked with tears.

"What was that for?" Tommy asked in an outraged whisper, cradling his left shoulder.

"Sorry, I'm really sorry. You were having a nightmare…" Tommy's eyes clouded.

"I'm fine," He said in a monotone, sitting up.

"The hell you are Tommy." Brendan whispered, reaching out he scrubbed some of the tear tracks from his brother's face. Tommy flinched and then touched his cheek, surprised to find it wet with tears.

"I was crying?" he asked.

"Looks like…." Smiled Brendan ruefully through the dark.

"Sorry,"

"Don't be. Don't be Tommy."

They sat in the dark in silence for a moment whilst Tommy's breathing rate slowly returned to normal.

"Go back to sleep Brendan" he said, quietly. "I'm fine."

"Not a chance, come on." He dragged Tommy out of bed and threw him a T-shirt, which he caught one handed. Tommy put it on, somewhat awkwardly; his shoulder was obviously not functioning well at all. Brendan felt guilt twist in his gut.

He led Tommy into the kitchen and flicked on the lights.

"Go on, sit yourself down." Brendan started rummaging through the fist aid-kit he kept under the sink. Tommy sat, staring into space, shivering slightly in the cool air as the cold sweat evaporated off his body. Without his big sweater on, Brendan could see that he'd lost a lot of weight since Sparta maybe ten or even twenty pounds of muscle had simply wasted away. With the dark circles under his eyes and a days worth of stubble on his cheeks, Tommy looked quite ill.

"Here" Brendan thrust a tube of "Deep Heat" warming gel into his hands. Tommy stared at it for a moment as though unsure what it was for. "Tommy." Brendan clicked his fingers in front of his eyes trying to get a reaction from him. He sat up as though someone had electrocuted him.

"Yeah?"

"The gel, put it on your shoulder. I'm coming with you to get it checked out tomorrow."

"Told you I can't afford it."

"Then your going to be paying me back because we're going to the clinic tomorrow."

"God. Okay. You sound like mom."

Brendan grinned "I'm going to go right ahead and take that as a compliment."

Tommy nodded absently, applying the gel clumsily.

They sat in silence while Tommy rubbed it in not wincing although Brendan could tell it was still hurting him.

"D'you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"Not really." Tommy replied and replaced the cap on the bottle.

"D'you want me to make up the couch for you?"

"I'm not twelve years old any more Brendan," muttered Tommy but he did smile ever so slightly. When they were young Tommy used to ask Brendan to swap beds with him every time he had a nightmare thinking that his bed was the cause of the nighttime distress. The thought of a twelve-year-old Tommy, already a state wrestling champion but tiny in comparison to the seventeen-year-old Brendan, shaking him awake night after night shivering, panicking but trying to be brave still haunted Brendan. The guilt he felt in his abandonment stirring anew.

"I know you're not Tommy. I know." Tommy smiled slightly at him and seemed on the brink of saying something. Then his eyes clouded over and he dropped his head to stare at his hands again.

"What's up?" Brendan asked, nipping into the spare bedroom to get Tommy's duvet and pillows to put on the couch. Tommy watched him impassively for a moment before hopping off his stool to help him.

"I was dreaming about Iraq. The night Manny died. You kinda remind me of him."

"I do?"

"Yeah… or maybe he reminded me of you… I dunno. He loved his wife, kids, was calling out for them when he died."

Brendan didn't really have anything to say to that so he spread the duvet on the couch having brushed aside Tommy's offer of help and helped him to get settled in.

"Don't worry if the girls come down, they like to watch SpongeBob before school but I'll tell them to be quiet. Okay?"

"Yeah- Brendan-"

"What?"

"Thank you."

A/N: Thanks for reading please review xx