Hello and thank you for choosing to read my Fic – I adore 'Leddie' at the moment and this idea would not leave my mind until I wrote it!

This is part one of two and I really hope that you all enjoy it!

He wasn't sure how this had come to be, as he found himself staring up at his cracked caravan ceiling. He wasn't even lying on his bed, instead he had placed himself, strangely, flat on the hardened floor causing a very deep ache to develop throughout his back and yet he didn't move, instead he continually stared at the crack. He found himself comparing that splintered shape, one that was so dark and distinctive against the white plastic panels to his own life, for he could once describe his life as a plain white panel, with smooth and cold qualities, and yet now a crack had formed, that crack being her.

He hadn't noticed it develop on his ceiling just as he hadn't noticed the way she had managed to worm her way under his skin, to break through and disrupt the smooth and calculated nature of his day to day duties. It was only very recently that he had come to acknowledge just how much of an impact she had made on him, without even a conscious thought on her part he was sure, and yet here he was now, laying almost pathetically on his small floor, forming connections between her and a previously unnoticed crack on his ceiling. That's all it seemed to take nowadays, something as small and seemingly insignificant as a crack to cause his mind to think of her. She was all he ever thought of recently.

She had managed to break into the most guarded part of himself; his mind, just like that of a crack.

He tried to pinpoint that defining moment, the moment that had subsequently led him here. He thought back to the day when he had brought her down to his wet-lab and initiated their first kiss, the minute that had perhaps started it all, like the first domino to fall in amongst a series causing the inevitable tumble. Then maybe the real moment lay in their second kiss and in that same night of passion. He felt his stomach flip just thinking back to the moment when she had gently let her hand rest on the back of his neck reassuringly, causing his whole body to ripple. Tomorrow she had said and as he looked up at her, his mind a mess with a mixture and numbers a dates, his body exhausted from his own neglect and his soul racked with guilt, he felt a sense of calm wash over him. He felt he could breathe clearly for the first time since realising the out-break and through all his loss and confusion he knew what it was that he needed, what he'd always needed, was her. Then of course there was the following night, one where he had literally chased her and practically begged her to give him another chance and to his utter delight she had agreed.

He often reminisced about that morning, when he had awoken with her lying with him and they joked lightly about their discomfort and yet ironically he had never felt more comfortable in her presence. How well it had all been going until she gave him that key. Amazing, he found it, that something so small and defined could be so destructive. Then again, he couldn't blame it completely on the key, he knew the gesture was nothing more than for practicality, she wasn't asking for anything more from him and yet it was the final push in a day where he felt the walls were closing in. He had always planned to move on when his contract had ended, though he had anticipated the offer of a permanent contract as so many previous employers had offered him but he had planned to do as he'd always done; politely decline and move on. However, he had never anticipated her and found himself at a loss at what to do.

She had changed everything, in a way that was so sudden he could barely understand how it had happened and even after two months away he was still without clarity. He had been sure that he would stay, that she was worth the risk. He recalled sitting on the edge of a roof with a woman so consumed by her love for her husband that the thought of being without him was enough to push her off the edge "I can't be without him. Do you have any idea how that feels? You fall in love; it's a long way down"

He recalled looking over at Eddie then, her face harvesting a worried frown and he found that he oddly sympathised with the suicidal woman beside him, though he did not agree with her present actions he understood her basis for doing them. He let his eyes take in Eddie's form for a few seconds, her petit build and her delicate strands of hair floating amongst the breeze and he asked himself if he could be without her now. Strange though it may be that their relationship, if that what it was, was but a few days old and yet his feelings for her were stronger than anything he'd ever known.

He remembered the first time they had met had been on this very roof where they had agreed that it was the perfect destination for clarity of thought. How right they had been. As he stood before here allowing her to throw words of anger at him for his stupidity at joining the woman on the edge of a multi-story building and for his neglecting to tell her of his expired contract, her voice clearly expressing the genuine amount of hurt she felt, it all became so clear to him and he even wondered what it was that ever worried him. It was clear that she meant more to him than anybody had in a very long time. He felt a smile toy lightly with the sides of his lips as he told her of his plans to accept Hanson's offer, nothing seemed more natural to him then and as he took her face in his hands and placed his lips upon hers. He couldn't ever image leaving her. It was as if he finally understood what it was that she meant to him and that in itself proved her worthiness to him and justified his reasons for staying. Yet once returning to level ground doubt began to creep in once more and the walls surrounding him began to close in. Then, of course, she gave him that key.

If only he'd gone back to the roof instead of to his caravan that afternoon how differently things may have been. Perhaps he would have stayed, having had the time to think more clearly and to breathe more deeply without the pressure of the suffocating hospital walls. He would have been able to think more rationally, rather than making a rash decision that he would soon come to regret. He would have stayed, he knew it, because it was what he wanted more than anything, he wanted her more than anything and yet fear had overcome this desire and had taken him from her and brought him here; on his back, looking up at the cracked ceiling, thinking only of her.

It was his fault that he was without her now and he knew that, but could he place all the blame on his own fear, because if this was the case then why hadn't he returned when he had realised he had made a mistake? Was it to protect himself or protect her from him? Hurting someone to protect them, it's not something he understood; he didn't understand much when it came to social interaction and particularly when it came to romance. It wasn't that he didn't know of the concept; he had read many a detailed description throughout the numerous books he had collected and yet it was something he had never expected to experience personally. Was this what he was doing?

He folded his arms and frowned up at the blackened crack in the hope that it would magically provide some desperately needed answers, to finally ease his confused mind and yet after ten full silent minutes of staring at the small shape he had only come to conclude that he missed her, more than he had perhaps missed anyone and how he'd give anything to have her here with him now. Instead all he had was the growing ache in his back and a deeper and much heavier ache in his heart.

He shut his eyes, as if to shield himself from the sight above him, and sighed heavily feeling the weight of it all push down on him. He needed her now, perhaps more than ever.

He was without her now and a spark of fear ignited within him at the idea that he would forever be without her and that this crack above him would be all he would ever have that in some way related to her. He pictured himself spending countless nights on this spot on the floor gazing sadly up at the shape and all because he had let it get to him, been too afraid to stay and instead of taking control he'd ran away.

He tried not to imagine her face when she would find the book he'd left behind, the only thing he'd left behind, not even a letter of explanation. It made him feel sick at how hurt she must have been. That he was the reason.

He would give everything thing he had, regardless of how little, to take it back and to have her with him now.

He needed to see her.

His eyes sprung open and looked onto the steering wheel and instantly he knew his next destination.

I really hoped that you all enjoyed that and I would love to know what you thought, if you'd be so kind to leave a review I would really appreciate it. Thank you again!

Look out for part two, posting next week!