So, this fanfic (or the beginning half) is totally based on the song Never Again by Kelly Clarkson. If you haven't heard it before, I highly suggest you go do that. Right now. Seriously, it makes it better.

Anyway, I don't own the song or the Legend of Korra.

I laughed as Mako poured me another drink. When he was with me, he wasn't the same Mako that was with her. We were temporarily able to forget that he was with Asami, as far as everyone else knew. The name, even when in my head, burned my tongue. But I pushed her aside. We rarely were able to get away, he from his girlfriend and me from my job as Avatar. It made our meetings all the more sweet. It had been months since we'd spent time together.

He grinned in response to my laugh. Once, many years ago, he told me that he was able to recognize my voice from a crowd. His arms circled my waist as he hugged me, and I returned the embrace. "I love you, Korra."

"I love you too, Mako." But I pulled away. "I'm sorry, but I have an early morning. We both do. I have to go back to the Air Temple. I can't stay tonight."

He nodded his head. We both knew the risk of spending the night together, and my early morning was only an excuse. We both knew that, too. But I picked up my bag and left him standing alone in the room anyway. His head was bent, and I could see a single tear rolling down his face.

The next morning I found two things outside my door. The first was the newspaper. Typical. As the Avatar, I needed to keep up with the gossip and reporters. Or so Tenzin thought. But next to the paper was a letter.

I recognized Mako's writing immediately, but as I went to tear it open, I saw the front page news.

FUTURE INDUSTRIES CEO TO BE MARRIED TO LEGENDARY FIRE FERRET

The letter dropped from my hand, already forgotten as I picked up the words my heart refused to believe. My tears blurred my vision, and all I could see was that headline. The announcement of her engagement. Mako's and Asami's. Together. Engaged. How could he do this to me?

My cold chuckle made a passing Air Acolyte speed up so as not to incur my wrath. But it wouldn't have mattered. It wasn't his face I wanted to punch. I burned the newspaper so I wouldn't have to see their smiling faces. The ashes stained the snow white envelope he'd sent me. But I didn't open it. I already knew what it would say.

That night, a tapping on my window caused me to jerk awake. Most would think it was one of the many trees, (10,552 at the last count) but I knew better. I didn't want to see Mako. Even if he was right outside my window.

But he kept on tapping. Eventually, I got so sick of it I opened the curtains so he could see me leave. I needed to sleep, and I couldn't do that with his incessant noise. I wasn't a love struck teenager anymore; I had better things to do than pine for my five year lover. Asami could have him. She'd won.

I couldn't believe I had been so stupid. I had believed him whenever he said those three words. Or when he kissed me, I would've sworn I could feel everything he felt for me in those precious moments.

Apparently I was wrong.

I shook my head as I opened one of the vacant inner rooms. It did me no good to indulge in memories. As I climbed into bed, I cursed my naïveté. I'd honestly thought he would choose me in the end, that even though he was confused, he'd see that we belonged together.

He stopped being confused, that's for sure.

It just wasn't the outcome I wanted.

I dreaded going to the council meeting in just a few hours. After the night I'd had, I didn't sleep. At all. Instead, I laid in bed and cursed. Mako. Asami. But most of all, I cursed myself. But what else was new?

Eventually I climbed out of bed and made my way to my room. The robes for the council meeting were in there, and I would have to be leaving with Tenzin soon.

The figure that met me in my room nearly made me pass out. It still wasn't a face I wanted to see. "Mako, what are you doing here?"

He sat up from his place on the floor and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Waiting for you. I figured you opened the curtains as an invitation and that you'd just left to do something. But I fell asleep waiting for you."

I didn't respond. Was he an idiot? My traitorous heart beat furiously just seeing him. But I pretended like nothing was wrong and opened up my wardrobe to select the robes I would need for the meeting. He kept staring at me. "I need to tell you something." He took my silence as an okay. "I'm sorry. It was wrong. I was wrong. I just lost my way."

He was waiting for a response. I could tell, after the many years I'd known him. But I didn't want to make things any easier for him. So I chose a set of robes and walked out.

It was only a temporary solution, and I knew it. I'd see him in just a few hours at the council meeting. He'd been chosen to represent Republic City. Iroh was chosen to represent the United Nations. Though I honestly don't know why they need two separate people. And I was just a little miffed that, while I was head of the council, that someone else was representing my city.

I dragged myself down to breakfast with Tenzin before the meeting. "You look terrible."

"Thanks. Just what every girl wants to hear in the morning."

"No, seriously. Are you feeling alright?" My old airbending teacher came up and placed a concerned hand on my forehead. "Hm. You don't feel warm. But I think you should take it easy. Maybe come home and rest after today's meeting."

I shook my head. "I'm fine Tenzin. I just didn't sleep very well last night." Or at all. "But thanks for your concern."

After breakfast I boarded the ferry. It was slower than airbending or waterbending, and I didn't want to spend any extra time at City Hall. Tenzin was already there, having used his bending to get himself across the bay.

The ferry ride seemed shorted than usual. As I stepped off the boat, a firebender's hand steadied me. The higher temperature gave him away. "Let go of me!"

I yanked my arm away, but apologized when I saw who it was. "Oh, I'm sorry Iroh. I thought you were someone else."

He chuckled. "My, the two of you today. What happened? You guys are friends, aren't you?"

It didn't take me long at all to realize he was talking about Mako. "Oh, so he's there already?" Iroh nodded. "It's probably just the engagement, that's all." The words burned my throat, but I couldn't let Iroh know how much they hurt. I was the Avatar, after all.

"Oh yeah, I saw that in the paper yesterday. It was kind of a shock. I mean, he and Asami had been together for what, five years?"

I smiled. "Sounds about right." Thankfully, I was spared any further response, since we had reached City Hall. I took a deep breath and opened the doors. My heart caught in my throat, for sitting there, looking just as put together as he normally did was Mako. I smiled, though, and no one suspected a thing. I took my sit next to him, and Iroh sat on my left. I turned to Mako. "Good morning, Councilman Mako. I heard about your engagement. Congratulations." I turned away from him and addressed the rest of the council and missed his look of shock. "Now, onto the first item of business. The matter of Avatar Day."

I straightened the papers in front of me. The other council members had already left, and it was only me and Mako. And utter silence. He began to pace behind the table. I broke the silence. "Would you stop that noise? It's rather irritating."

"Oh look, she speaks."

I rolled my eyes. "Is there a reason why you're still here? Besides annoying me to death? When the White Lotus guards have to start their search for the new Avatar all over again, it'll be your fault."

He stopped pacing. "Are you stupid? Of course there's a reason!"

I stowed the papers in my robes for safe keeping before standing up and walking out the doors. He followed shortly after and pulled me into an alley. "You have to listen to me!"

The brick wall behind me was digging into my back. "Haven't you hurt me enough?" No words came from his mouth. "If that's all, I'll be leaving now. I have things to do."

He still said nothing, but instead released my hands, only to place his on the wall. I was effectively trapped. Ever so slowly, he brought his face down to mine. But I stopped him. "I won't kiss you again. You're a coward, and you chose the trophy wife over me. It took you ten years to decide, Mako. Can't you at least let me have what little dignity I still have left? I kept waiting and wanting you, but in the end it didn't matter. I know you'll always think of me when you're with her. And I hope you never find happiness."

I ducked under his arm before dashing out of the alley, using my bending to get rid of my tears. The Avatar couldn't be weak.

More tears blurred my vision. "I won't love him. I swear, never again will I love him. Just please, Spirits, I beg you, don't let it hurt so much." I sank to the ground. My legs wouldn't carry me, and I'd just get hurt trying to walk while being blinded by tears.

I don't know how long I stayed curled up on the sidewalk, but eventually my tears dried themselves out and I stood up. No one had even noticed that the Avatar had broken down. I guess I just didn't look like myself.

All the blood rushed to my head, and the world began to spin. I lost my balance and fell backwards. I blacked out before I connected with the ground.

My eyes opened unwillingly to the darkness. I sat up slowly, my body exhausted from my tears. But as I went to stretch, my hand was pulled back. My eyes flew open in shock before registering the figure sleeping beside me. He looked about as worn out as I felt.

There was a light knock on the door before it was pushed open. Asami came in with a hot cup of tea. "Oh! You're awake. Here, I'll go make another one." She offered me her mug and I graciously accepted it with my free hand.

Asami came in another minute later with a second cup. A quick glance to our linked hands didn't even seem to faze her. "He loves you, you know," she said, with a small smile on her face.

I shook my head. "Only as a friend. He loves you, Asami."

Her eyes flew open in shock. "I thought you knew. He said he would tell you!" She shook her head in denial.

"What, that he chose you? He made that pretty obvious. I mean, for Spirits' sake, he proposed to you. And you accepted."

Asami sighed in defeat before yanking a still-sleeping Mako to his feet. "You don't know anything Korra. And you're wrong. He does love you." She dragged Mako down the hall and into another room.

I cringed when I heard a resounding slap. "YOU DIDN'T TELL HER? YOU SWORE YOU WOULD!"

A groggy Mako's voice floated down the hallway. "No. I didn't. It never came up."

"Five years, Mako. You let her go on believing the lie for five years. I'm surprised she still talks to you." Asami's voice had gotten quieter, but could still be heard throughout the house.

The lie. The lie that he loves me, you mean. I sighed and hesitantly got to my feet. When I reached the hall, I took a look at my surroundings. We were at Mako's place. I recognized it from the times he invited me over. I put one foot in front of the other and made my way to the kitchen.

By the time I stepped into the kitchen, Mako and Asami's voices had quieted to a murmer. I sighed and took a seat at the table. I was too exhausted to go any further.

Footsteps approached my chair, and with them came the smell of dumplings. "Hey Bolin."

The other Fire Ferret sat across from me. "I'm glad you're awake Korra. Pabu was getting worried about you." Said fire ferret (and the team mascot) poked his nose out from Bolin's coat and into the bag of dumplings. "No. Bad Pabu. Those are for Korra." He took out his nosy pet and pushed the bag towards her. "Figured you'd want something to eat."

"Thanks." I took the bag gratefully and began eating them. I couldn't taste anything, but the thought was nice. I stopped after the second and gave the rest to Bolin.

"So where's my brother?"

"Talking with Asami. About the engagement, most likely."

Bolin nodded. "The news was certainly a shock to the city. But they'll get over it."

"But why? Sure, they're a bit young, but they've been going out for five years."

The expression on Bolin's face was priceless. He was chewing on his lip, and his eyes were as wide as saucers. But best of all was Pabu sitting on his head with a matching expression. As funny as it was, I could only manage a small chuckle.

"He never told you?"

"WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP ASKING THAT?" I yelled out, my anger finally rising to the surface. "I have no idea what you or Asami are talking about!"

Bolin sucked in a breath. "I think it's best if he tells you himself. But I'll tell you this much. Me and Asami are happy together." He stood off and went down the hall. Probably to drag his brother in by the ear.

I sat at the table for what seemed like an eternity. Part of me, the largest part, wanted to run and never see Mako again. But another, much smaller part, wanted to know what they were keeping from me. Either way, I didn't have enough energy to get back to Air Temple Island.

So I stayed and waited.

And waited.

And then waited some more.

Eventually, a worn out and beat up Mako came and sat down in Bolin's vacated seat. "We need to talk."

"Obviously."

He gave me a small smile. "Don't make this harder on me than it needs to be. Please. This is a discussion that we should've had a long time ago."

I rolled my eyes. "I gathered that much from what Asami and Bolin told me. So just spit it out already!"

From where I was sitting, I saw Asami and Bolin sneak out the front door. Holding hands. Odd.

Mako ran a hair through his spiked hair. "Me and Asami weren't really going out. Not after Amon was defeated."

I couldn't help myself; I burst out laughing. "Okay, so what is it really? 'Cause I know that's not true. You were together for five years."

His head went thud as it hit the table. "I'm telling you the truth here!"

"Then why did you lie to me? About that of all things? I don't believe you, and I never will. So if that's all, Tenzin's probably waiting for me to go over what was said at the council meeting."

The door seemed impossibly far away, but I was determined. I stood, shakily, but I still stood, and started toward the entryway.

A hand stopped me before I made it more than a few steps. "Please. Listen to me at least. I understand if you don't want to stay. And the Spirits know I would deserve it. But just a few minutes more. I'm not asking for anything more. Just the chance to explain."

I didn't want to, but I still found myself sinking into the chair beside him. He breathed a sigh of relief before saying his piece. "As you know, we won. Amon was defeated. Well, you did, in the end. You and your airbending. And then when he fled, something happened to his boat. No one could have survived that."

"I know. I was there, remember?"

Mako chuckled. "Of course you were, my love. I know that." He reached out to stroke my cheek, but I flinched away. From both his touch and his words.

"Get on with it. I don't have all day."

He sighed, but continued. "And then I told you I loved you. And later, after you'd gotten your bending back, you told me you felt the same. And we kissed." He paused, took a breath, and waited for a response. He didn't get one. I knew all of this already. "Well, I was still with Asami at that time, and I knew I had to break up with her. It scared me to death, I didn't want to hurt her. But I didn't have anything to worry about. She was already with my brother. When she thought I was cheating on her, she went to Bolin. And fell in love with him."

Well, that explained some things. "But why did you let me believe you were still together?"

He bit his lip. "Yeah, about that…I'm really sorry. But it was necessary. Both of us, when I told her I wanted to break up, agreed that it would be for the best if we stayed together in the public's eyes. We were the city's number one couple. It helped boost morale if people saw us together, having a good time. Especially right after the war. Asami's a nonbender, and I'm from the Fire Ferrets. It helped promote the peace. So we kept up the façade.

"But while we were doing that, both of us were dating someone else. She was dating Bolin, and I was dating you. We promised to tell you guys. She told Bolin. I didn't tell you."

"But why? Why could Bolin know and I couldn't? We all know he's a bigger blabbermouth than I am! And why couldn't they date? He's a bender too, you know."

I was making it hard for him. His words were starting to melt me, but I didn't want them to. I wanted to stay mad at him, wanted to make him suffer. And it seemed that I was doing a pretty good job of it.

"I thought it was better if I didn't tell you. It would just hurt you even more if you couldn't go on dates with me even though you were the only person I was dating. At least this way you had a reason."

"And how exactly is it better that I thought you were cheating on Asami with me? What possibly possessed you to think that?" But as hateful the words sounded in my head, they didn't come out that way. They sounded hopeful. He had a reason to lie to me. It didn't make me any happier, but at least he wasn't getting married.

He stood up suddenly, nearly knocking me to the floor with the force. "Haven't you listened to anything I've said in the last five minutes? I did it because I love you!" Tears began to spill from my eyes, but I didn't say anything. He didn't either, but instead sat down and pulled me into his arms. "I'm so, so sorry Korra. It was a mistake. I shouldn't have lied to you like that. Please, forgive me?" He looked into my tear filled eyes as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Just shut up and kiss me."