Here we go again

part 12

As the helicopter circled the warehouse once before setting down nearby Helena could see Claudia standing beside a car waiting for them. She had one hand raised to keep the blowing dust out of her eyes but it was clear the young woman had a huge smile on her face. In the din of the rotor blades spinning above them there had been no talk during the short flight but Helena felt no curiosity about the Regent who had joined them. She assumed the woman intended to keep an eye on her but didn't care. Nothing and no one would stop her from seeing Myka. And then… she would see what happened.

As they touched down the young man in the flight crew opened the side door and assisted the three passengers down. Once again holding Helena's hand to help her out as she used the other to keep her skirt from blowing up. Ducking low they quickly moved clear of the helicopter as it lifted off. Once it flew away the immediate silence of the secluded South Dakota landscape crushed in on them. Ignoring the Regent, Helena walked toward Claudia realizing that her own face had cracked into a smile at the sight of the young woman's joy upon seeing them.

"Steve! HG!" Claudia shouted as she ran toward her friends. Crashing into Steve she hugged him tight and pulled Helena in with her other arm. "Oh I am so glad to see you both!"

The three hugged for a moment before Claudia pulled back slightly only then acknowledging the woman behind them. "Mrs. Lattimer."

"Hello Claudia." Jane smiled graciously. She knew the young woman didn't trust her and was very frustrated with how the Regents had handled everything so far. When it had been revealed that Steve was actually under cover for them Jane feared Claudia would do something rash, but Artie had managed to talk her down. Now, if the stories of time travel were true Claudia's fears had been well founded. Nothing Jane had tried to do to prevent Sykes' plans had worked. The agents had saved themselves.

Helena looked at the woman in surprise, "Mrs. Lattimer?"

Claudia gave a small dismissive waive as she began pulling Steve along beside her toward the car. "Yeah, apparently Pete's mom is a Regent. He was quite displeased to find out."

Helena gave Jane a once over before following along behind the pair. "I imagine so."

"Everyone is back at Leena's, but I waited here for you guys when Mrs. F said she was going to send you back in a bird." Grinning as she slid into the driver's seat she added, "Since Leena hasn't added a landing pad to the roof yet."

Jane said nothing until she had gotten into the back seat of Claudia's car beside Helena. Then she leaned forward between the seats to ask, "How is Pete? How is everyone?"

"Everyone is fine." Claudia revved the engine and spun the car around headed toward the B&B. "Well, they will be fine. The Doc put Artie and Myka on bed rest because they were out of it so long. But Pete was only out for a minute and seems to have bounced back just fine."

There was a moment of silence before Helena leaned forward to ask in as even a voice she could muster, "Myka is okay?"

Glancing back in the rear-view mirror, Claudia caught Helena's concerned gaze. "She's okay HG. Exhausted and completely pissed off that Doc V sent her to bed. She wanted to fly out to the airfield to get you…"

Helena sat back in her seat and looked out the window at the familiar landscape. "Well, I'm glad someone is making sure she is taking care of herself. I will be very happy to see her again though."

Steve grimaced at the implication of her words. The last time they had seen Myka she had been dying in Helena's arms. Feeling an overwhelming surge of emotion he reached out for Claudia's hand and gave it a squeeze. When she looked at him with a smile he smiled back.

"God, I can't believe you didn't tell me what was going on Steve! You are the worst BFF ever!" Claudia scolded him, "The only way to make it up to me is by telling me every single detail… and buying me lots of ice cream."

Shaking his head, Steve responded, "I was under cover Claudia. I couldn't tell you anything."

Claudia pouted slightly but didn't respond. Instead she used the rear view mirror to catch Helena's eyes again, "And you! Don't think you get away without telling me every single detail. I cracked the Atlas66 file, but Artie freaked and I only managed to read part of it before he and Jane took it away from us."

Helena raised an eyebrow, "Atlas66?"

"That was the encrypted file with all the information about you and, ah, Emily Lake on it." Jane answered.

"Hmm, I think I would like to look at that file as well." Helena said.

Before Jane could respond to the hard words, Claudia jumped in. "No can do HG. The Regents took it and buried it. You know, once a piece of data has been encrypted no one can ever get it again."

Understanding completely, Helena smiled confidently at an annoyed Jane Lattimer. "What a shame Claudia. I guess both our curiosities will go unsatisfied."

Jane spoke in a stern voice, "Regent security is nothing to be trifled with-"

Helena's smile shifted to a hard look as she interrupted the woman, "I don't believe I want to hear any more from you right now."

Jane's mouth opened and closed a couple of times before she decided silence was her best bet just then unless she wanted to walk the rest of the way back to the B&B. With a slight bow of her head in acknowledgment of Helena's ire she turned her gaze back out the window silently.

Claudia met Steve's eyes and mouthed the words 'hard core' at him. He just shook his head. He didn't really want to hear from Regent Lattimer just then either.

Riding in silence the rest of the way Helena felt her heartbeat pick up speed as Claudia took the left into Leena's driveway. Leaping out the door before the car had come to a full stop she rushed up the front steps. Half way across the porch the front door opened and Pete's smiling face greeted her. So happy to see him alive and well Helena had her arms around his neck hugging him tightly before she realized she was doing it. "I am so glad you are okay."

Squeezing the woman in his arms tightly, Pete gently spoke reassurances to her. "I'm fine. Myka's fine. Really."

After only a small sob she couldn't quite contain she pulled out of his arms trying not to acknowledge the blush her emotional display had caused to race up her neck and face. Clearing her throat she patted his arm in a much more controlled manner. "That's good."

Stepping aside slightly, Pete pulled her into the house passed him. "Myka's up in her room resting. I'm going to go hug my mom." As she strode past him to the stairs he was tempted to tease her a bit about her emotional display but thought better of it. Instead he turned to go greet his mother and Steve.

At the top of the stairs Helena caught her breath for a moment just as an older woman she recognized as the warehouse doctor came out of a room down the hallway shutting the door quietly behind her. Unsure of her name she spoke hesitantly in a hushed voice. "Doctor, is Myka asleep?"

Vanessa smiled, "She was resting last I checked in. She will be glad you are here Ms. Wells."

"I'm sorry I don't recall your name…"

"Dr. Caulder, but you can call me Vanessa. I actually just came from a very soundly sleeping Artie's room. Why don't you pop in on Myka for me while I go check with Leena about something for our intrepid time travelers to eat when they wake up?" When Helena nodded and moved to go by her Vanessa reached out a hand looking at the woman with a professional eye. "How are you feeling Ms. Wells?"

"Helena, please." Grimacing, Helena ran a hand through her hair. "I feel quite terrible actually but I need…"

As the other woman's voice trailed off, Vanessa smiled gently as she watched Helena look longingly at Myka's door. "Well go ahead and check on her and I will be in to check on you in a bit."

Nodding her head, Helena walked toward Myka's door. Reaching out she carefully turned the door knob pushing the door open wide enough for her to lean her head in. Her eyes immediately landed on the bed tracing the shape of the woman curled on her side under a light blanket. Myka's head rest on a pillow with wild curly hair spread out around it.

Carefully entering the room Helena shut the door as quietly as she could before approaching the side of the bed. Not realizing she was doing it she knelt down on the floor so she could look directly at Myka's face. Clenching her fists to keep them from reaching out she tried to slow her breathing to match the gentle rise and fall of Myka's body as it took in air and released it in a steady rhythm. Noticing a disruption in that rhythm, Helena darted her eyes up to meet sleepy green. One, two blinks and a smile broke out on Myka's face and Helena found herself being dragged forward by a hand on the front of her shirt.

"Get up here." Myka whispered pulling Helena unceremoniously up off the floor and onto the bed.

Lying on her side facing Myka, Helena felt tears begin to fall as she reached out a hand to run it from Myka's cheek down her neck to her shoulder and arm until it rested on the dip of the woman's waist where she could easily feel the continued inhale and exhale of the woman across from her. "Thank god you are alive." And then Helena began to cry.

Myka immediately pulled Helena's body toward her only content when the woman's face pressed into her neck and their bodies aligned from shoulder to knees. "Shhhhh. It's okay. We're both okay. I know it was terrible, but I'm okay…."

"I watched you die! I watched you die!"

Helena's words were almost unintelligible through her tears, but Myka understood perfectly and held on tighter. Stroking silky black hair she just let the woman cry knowing from experience that she just had to go through the grief to get to the healing. Ultimately they both fell asleep before the tears actually stopped.

Helena woke abruptly when the body she was pressed against gave a sharp jerk. Blinking open her eyes all she could see was Myka's long neck and chin. With their bodies touching at every point she could feel Myka take a deep breath and figured the other woman was awake as well. Speaking softly she asked, "Are you all right?"

"Yeah. Just… flashes of things." Myka gripped the hand that was pressed over her heart and squeezed it gently. "Are you all right?" She felt the other woman slowly exhale blowing air gently against the side of her neck causing a small shiver.

Thinking about the question, Helena answered hesitantly, "Probably not."

Clutching the hand in hers again, Myka responded softly, "Good thing you don't have to go through it alone then."

Snuggling in deeper, Helena responded. "Yes. Good thing."

"I don't think we have been out long. Do you want to sleep some more?"

Helena thought a moment trying to determine what her exhausted body was telling her. Unable to decide she answered, "I don't know."

Concerned Myka eased out of the tight embrace so she could look at the other woman's face. It was still light out and she could easily see the drawn and tired features in front of her. Lifting a hand she stroked Helena's cheek gently. "Did Dr. Caulder check you out?"

"Myka, I wasn't the one who traveled through time, died of a gunshot wound, and came back to life."

"No, you were kidnapped twice, had your memory shoved back in your brain, and then held me as I died in your arms." Myka pulled back slightly frowning, "What happened after that?"

"Sykes forced me to leave you and made us all rush out to his plane. Just in a nick of time Mr. Lattimer arrived in his giant vehicle and drove it over that lout Marcus and parked it on him. Then he kicked Walter out of his chair onto the asphalt where he flopped about like a fish until Steve tied him up. Where upon I assisted Pete to your body so he could, and I quote here 'go out by your side'."

Myka smiled, "He is dedicated."

"Should I be jealous?"

Myka smiled wider, "Not at all."

Taking a surprising amount of comfort in that smile, Helena leaned in for a quick kiss before she could think better of it. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have…"

"Don't be. I've wanted that for a long time."

Helena smile. "And will you want more for a long time to come?"

"I believe I will. Will you be able to accommodate me?"

"Yes. I believe I can." Leaning close Helena placed a longer more deliberate kiss on welcoming lips. Shifting slightly she wrapped her arms around Myka once more squeezing tightly as she whispered in a nearby ear. "This is real?"

Returning the tight embrace, Myka sighed, "Its real. We are here together. Safe." When Helena pulled back to look at her Myka could see a thousand questions an concerns swirling behind brown eyes. "And we have all the time in the world to figure it all out. Together."

Reassured by both the words and the knowledge that Myka knew her better than anyone else Helena smiled. The other woman had managed to temper Helena's fears without her even having voiced them. Giving a nod of agreement she stole one more kiss before easing back and sitting up stiffly feeling out her body's response. Looking down at the wrinkled and stained skirt and sweater she paused. "This outfit is very bright."

Myka laughed out loud. "Yes it is."

"Hmmm." Helena's lips twisted into a bemused smile. "Oddly I think I like it."

Aghast, Myka responded, "No you don't!"

Laughing, Helena sat up on the edge of the bed swinging her legs over the side. As she bent to remove the ruined wedge heel shoes she said, "I remember buying it. I liked how cheery it was."

"You remember being Emily?"

Standing, Helena tossed the shoes in to the garbage can in the corner. As she peeled off the dirty sweater she tossed it in after. "I remember everything."

Also rolling to the side of the bed and standing up, Myka went to her dresser to pull out some clean clothing that Helena could wear. As she turned back around and held out the items she asked, "How do you feel about that?"

Shimmying out of her skirt Helena walked up to a slightly stunned Myka smiling at the reaction her matching bra and panty set in pale blue was eliciting. Reaching for the clothes she carefully took them from the loose grasp and leaned up to kiss Myka's cheek. "It's better than not remembering." Then she turned and sauntered toward Myka's bathroom. At the door she turned back to ask, "Join me?"

Hesitating, Myka answered, "I'm not sure… its very emotional right now…"

Helena looked down sadly and a little embarrassed by her behavior. There were other ways to get what she wanted. "I know. I'm sorry." Looking back up at Myka all teasing and flirting was gone from her gaze. "I just don't want to be apart from you yet. It's silly I know."

Crossing the room Myka quickly embraced the other woman. "It isn't silly." Pulling back she turned Helena around by the shoulders and directed her into the small bathroom. "You shower. I will sit in here with you."

"You don't have to Myka-"

"Ah!" Pointing a finger at the shower, Myka opened the closet to pull out a towel and wash cloth. "Shower. You smell." The offended look she received made Myka laugh as she sat down on the toilet lid. "Shower."

Rolling her eyes, Helena started the water running and took a small amount of pleasure in the deep blush that rose up Myka's neck as the woman carefully avoided looking directly at Helena's body as she stripped out of her last two pieces of clothing and dropped them at Myka's feet. Stepping under the hot spray she groaned in pleasure. "Oh god… hot water I missed you." Hearing Myka's amused laughter on the other side of the curtain made her smile. As she began lathering her hair she asked, "Talk to me please."

Myka sat still a moment as the smile from hearing Helena groaning slid from her face. "I watched you die too."

For a minute only the sound of running water could be heard before Helena cleared her throat, "Oh?"

"In the original time line."

"You remember it?"

Myka's throat constricted, "I remember everything from both time lines."

Helena stared sightlessly at the wet tile in front of her turning things over in her head. "You really… changed the past?"

Myka could hear the many layers behind that question and was almost afraid to answer. "We did. Sort of. It is more accurate to say we changed the future."

After a long beat Helena released the breath she had been holding. Reaching for the soap she realized Myka had fallen silent. Speaking up she prompted the woman to continue in as light a tone as she could manage just then. "You can't see it but I am raising one eyebrow in inquiry."

Myka felt a small smile tip up the corners of her mouth as she imagined the other woman's look. Fiddling with the edge of the towel in her lap she thought about what had happened. What she had experienced. "We used an artifact, a pocket watch Artie got from MacPherson to… unwind time I guess. When we stopped reversing we separated from ourselves and began living outside of the time everyone else was experiencing. We could do anything we wanted but when we caught back up to ourselves we were thrown back into time with everyone else. Back into our bodies as it were. Artie thinks we were incredibly lucky that dying while out of time didn't prevent us from catching back up to ourselves."

When the water stopped Myka handed the towel to a hand reaching beyond the curtain. A moment later Helena stepped out into the small space still dripping wet but with her torso covered.

"You were lucky you returned at all. Even Pete who wasn't killed." Helena frowned down at the other woman. "The chance you three took…"

Standing up, Myka grabbed a second towel and began drying Helena's hair. "It was worth the risk."

Helena grabbed Myka's wrist stopping her actions and looked at her intently. "I am not sure I agree."

"I watched you die. I watched the warehouse blow up around me. Getting both of those back was worth the risk to me." Myka gently extracted her wrist and reached for a comb. Leading the other woman back into the other room they both sat on the edge of the bed and Myka began to work through the tangles in long black hair.

Staring across the room, Helena asked hoarsely, tears obvious in her voice, "And if you hadn't come back? And my last memory of you was blood and pain and regret."

Myka stopped what she was doing and leaned close resting her forehead against the side of Helena's and closing her eyes. "Then I would have expected you to process your grief and then do something good with the life you had been given back." Pulling back she used a hand on Helena's chin to turn the woman's face to meet her gaze. "And that is what I expect you to do now. You don't owe me or anyone anything Helena. Do you understand me? You've paid your penance."

"Have I?"

"Yes." Myka's voice was strong with her conviction. "We can't possibly move forward if you remain a martyr."

Taking a deep breath Helena let it out loudly. "Well! I guess I better learn how to live again… and decide what I'm going to do. You know the Regents will have an opinion about that."

Myka tilted her chin stubbornly. "I don't care what they want. Only what you want and what I want."

"Feeling selfish darling?"

"After what we have been through? After what we managed to pull off?! Hell yes! I don't want to hear about bronzing, or Janus Coins, or teaching in Wyoming!"

"I quite agree with no bronzing, and I destroyed the Coin. I did enjoy teaching though…."

Myka dropped her hands to her lap and sat back in surprise. "Really?"

Laughing lightly, Helena stood up and reached for the clothes Myka had given her earlier. "Yes I did. But perhaps high school students are not the correct audience for my vast knowledge."

Seeing that Helena was about to drop her towel Myka tried not to watch. Which was more of a struggle that she thought it would be. Trying to distract herself from the naked skin she could see out of the corner of her eye she asked, "So, what would you like to do with your life?"

"What do you mean?" Helena tugged on the loose pants and waited for Myka to explain.

"I mean: if you could do anything in the world, and you can by the way, what would it be?" Not getting a response for a few minutes Myka looked over to the other woman who was just standing there holding the shirt in front of her naked chest looking like she might cry. "What's wrong?!"

"No one has ever asked me that before." Tears were choking the back of Helena's throat. "I always had to convince people to let me do things. Or make them let me."

Myka's mouth dropped open in momentary shock, but as her mind wrapped around the concept she had to concede it really wasn't a surprise. Victorian culture did not lend itself to independent women regardless of their obvious brilliance. And the modern era had not been that good to Helena either. Standing up Myka wrapped her arms around the other woman tightly. "Well I'm asking. Because I think you are capable of amazing things and the world needs more amazing in it. It needs you at your best Helena."

A little overwhelmed by the all the possibilities, Helena asked quietly, "Will you help me?"

Kissing the other woman lightly, Myka pulled back with a smile, "Every single step of the way."

The End.

A/N: I am so happy to have finished one of my multi chapter stories! This was one of my three 'fix-it' stories post season three (time to go tackle the other two I guess). I hope those of you who made it all the way to the end enjoyed it. I do have a short epilogue written but am debating posting it. I didn't like how silly the tone of it came out after all the serious sacrificing the characters went through. If I can tone it down I will post it. If not this story is a wrap.

A giant thank you to everyone who sent me feed back and followed and liked this story. You guys are wonderful.