Okay this is it. The final chapter. I really want to thank everyone for the reviews. You have no idea how happy they made me.
Without further ado, here's the last chapter.
One more thing, I don't own any of the friends. Not even Joey!
Finding My Heaven
Rachel stared at her friends. She couldn't quite fathom their emotions. But somehow, she felt she didn't need their approval. Not anymore. Talking about it had helped. She could suddenly see past all her problems. To the tiny sliver of hope.
It was blindingly clear. The reason she could feel the paradise hidden in life again. Her marriage had veiled it to such an extent till all she could see was an endless road of anguish. Joey had helped her lift the mist. He had always been there for her. And she knew he was always going to be - no matter what.
Phoebe broke the silence. "I think I'm ecstatic." Chandler raised an eyebrow. Phoebe grinned. "I need a little time for it to sink in."
Monica turned to Rachel. Rachel didn't seem half as despondent as when she walked in a half hour back. Monica could see a flicker of contentment in her eyes. Monica hated asking but she had to, "Rachel, what do you actually plan on doing? Joey's married. And what about Ross and Emma?"
Rachel gazed up at Monica with stricken eyes. "I wish I knew," she whispered.
Chandler groaned. "I'm sick of this. You want to know the truth, Rachel? Sooner or later, Emma is going to realize you guys are unhappy. And maybe she won't want you to split up but she's not going to like seeing you guys barely getting along. That's going to hurt a lot worse. My parents fought incessantly. And it was painful. Never knowing what the next day would bring. What else they would say to hurt each other. You have a choice, Rachel. Make the right one."
****
"Do you still love her?" Joey winced. He wasn't sure how to answer that. Should he lie to her? Amanda was his wife. And she deserved to know the whole truth - the whole truth this time. He took a deep breath.
"Yes."
Amanda closed her eyes. His words had the ring of inevitability. It was over. It had been for a long time.
Joey went on, "I tried, Amanda. I honestly tried to forget. But…I couldn't. She's a part of me."
Amanda gave him a small sad smile. "She's in your very soul."
Joey nodded slowly. "I'm sorry, Amanda."
She shook her head. "I really wished things could have worked out differently. I …" she trailed off. She was about to say that she loved him. But she couldn't. It would just make him feel guilty. He was upset enough as it was. His eyes were tearing up.
She had been foolish enough to believe she could make him forget. She didn't want to lose Joey. But how could she lose something she never even had? Joey was in love with Rachel. And nothing she could do would ever change that. And she didn't want to. She was not going to stand in the way of their happiness. It was time to set him free.
"Joey…Go to her." Joey's eyes widened. She smiled. "You love her. That's all that matters."
****
Ross leaned back in bed. The thought had actually startled him. What if Emma did realize their marriage was a sham? What if she realized that the only reason they were together was because of her? Wouldn't that shatter her? Ross tried to shake off the bleak thoughts. But there was no escaping from the fact that one day Emma just might realize the truth. And then what? What defense could they use?
Maybe the fear of his fourth marriage ending had him so scared that he had chosen to ignore certain things. He had done so much wrong. He was ruining both his' and Rachel's lives. Damn it. It was time to stop. And do the right thing.
****
"Rachel, there's some pancakes in the fridge. Help yourself." Monica rushed out. She was going to be late for work. Phoebe had run out at around 7:00. She had mumbled something about someone waiting for her back in her apartment. Chandler was desperately trying to put on his shoes and drink coffee at the same time. He finally gave it up as a lost cause. He threw his shoes down and ran out, gulping down his coffee.
Rachel laughed. Wonder when it was going to strike him that he didn't have any shoes on?
She had called in sick. She didn't feel up to going to work today. It was 9a.m. She really couldn't talk to Ross or Joey. Both of them would have headed off to work. All she could do was ponder over what Chandler had said. He might have actually had a point. But it was only a probability. Could she really break it off with Ross, based on something as uncertain as that? But it wasn't just that. She needed this. A second chance at love.
****
"Cut! What the hell was that, Joey? Do you think I pay you for that sort of crap?" Joey cringed. The director was losing his temper. And who could blame him?
The director walked up to Joey. "You are really of no use today. Leave." Joey nodded. He walked to his dressing room. The director called out after him, "Take care of your problems or you're out of here!"
Joey gulped. He hoped he could.
He walked to Rachel's home. She had to give this a chance. And if she didn't? Other than throwing himself at her feet and begging, he really had no idea what he would do. He doubted that would work.
There was the possibility that she wouldn't be home. But that didn't matter. He was going to camp out in front of her house till she came home. He had to know.
****
Ross knocked on Monica's door. He wished Rachel had told him that she wasn't going to work today. At least he wouldn't have to face that annoying assistant of hers. She really was infuriating. He was in no mood to play twenty questions. So what if he didn't know that his wife had called in sick? That was none of her business.
Rachel opened the door. She took a step back. "Ross."
"Rachel. Can I come in?"
Ross sat down. He swallowed back the hysterical laughter bubbling in him. Who would have thought that one day he would ask Rachel to leave him? That it was for the best. And he knew that he would never regret this decision.
****
"Ross, it's complicated."
"Rachel, no one ever said life was easy. But you're getting a chance at a happy ending. Do you really want to throw it away?"
"Emma? What about her? It would devastate her."
Ross grimaced. "I suppose it might. But I honestly believe she'll get over it. She wants her parents' happiness. And I think she's beginning to notice that we aren't happy."
Rachel sighed. Ross held her hand in his. "Its really simple. Do you love him?"
She gazed into his eyes. It held no sadness. And she knew that lying would only hurt him more. Would finish off even a chance at friendship. She was ready to finally admit the truth. "Yes."
"Then what are you waiting for?"
****
Ross drank another cappuccino. It wasn't half as good as the cappuccinos at Central Perk. Thinking of Central Perk gave rise to thoughts of Joey. He had lost Rachel to him. And somehow it didn't hurt. He wasn't sure what he felt. Maybe a little numb. He had another failed marriage.
Phoebe walked in and behind her, Amanda. Ross felt his heart go out to her. He had known that he didn't love Rachel anymore. What about Amanda?
They sat down next to Ross. After ordering, Phoebe excused herself to go to the restroom. Amanda and Ross sat in awkward silence. Finally Amanda broke the silence, "I'm leaving town for a couple of days."
"Where?"
"Back home. I guess I need a little time away. To heal."
"I'm sorry." He truly was. It was obvious that Amanda loved Joey.
She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "I'll survive. Maybe mom was right. Maybe I should have waited for Phil to come back. I don't know. Mom said he's still there."
They lapsed back into silence. Phoebe came back. "Ross, I have to meet David for dinner. Could you stay here and keep Amanda company till her cousin gets here?"
Ross nodded. "David? I didn't know you were seeing him."
Phoebe beamed. "Well…yeah. I think tonight's the night. I can feel it. He's going to propose." She sprinted out.
A girl with blonde hair walked in. Amanda stood up. "That's my cousin. I'm staying at her place tonight."
Ross looked up. Amanda's cousin looked very familiar. She stopped at their table. And gasped. "Oh my god! Ross!"
At his blank stare, she whipped out a cap and hid her hair underneath it. And Ross grinned. Bonnie. The girl who had shaved her hair. The one he had sent home in a cab that day at the beach house. She looked better than ever.
****
Rachel walked back to her apartment. She had searched everywhere for Joey. It was 6 p.m now. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe this was fate's way of telling her that Joey and her just didn't belong together.
She stopped in front of her house. And smiled. Joey was curled up on the porch, sleeping. How long had he been there? She knelt in front of him and gently shook him awake.
Joey opened his eyes. She was home. He had waited for hours. It was time to find out what destiny had in store for him. He slowly stood up.
"Hey, Rachel."
"What're you doing here?"
"I…need to know…what's going on between us?" That sounded stupid. Maybe he needed to rephrase it better. Rachel opened her mouth to say something. He rushed on, "I mean, I know what I feel for you. And …well, I guess…."
Hearing him stammer, Rachel had not a single doubt left. It was so obvious. This stuttering fool in front of her was the one she was destined to be with.
She put a finger to his lips. He stopped, confusion clouding his eyes. "I love you, Joey."
His face lit up. He lifted her up and whirled her around. She burst out laughing. He gently set her down. The light died out of his eyes. "What about Ross? Emma?"
"Ross actually helped make up my mind. Emma…I don't know. It will be hard for her. But I know she'll make it. And Amanda?"
"She set me free to follow my heart." Joey smiled. The world was, surprisingly, a much brighter place.
He brought his lips down to meet hers. Six long years later and the love he felt for her still burnt strong. And he knew it would never die. She was his soulmate.
Rachel finally felt at peace. They were going to find their heaven. Their path was still strewn with a few thorns. But they could surpass any obstacle. They were together and that was all that mattered.
I hoped you liked that. I really had a great time writing it. Thanks for reading this fic. Everyone who reviewed this, and will, thank you so much. You inspired me to carry on. Please R & R!