Smoke and Fire

Part II

His combat boots clomp against the grass as he heads closer to his trailer. Its spring and everything is now incredibly green again. Finger's curled around a blindfolded Trina, he steadily guides her in the same direction, being extra cautious because her shoes have ridiculously thin and high heels, like always. But he did tell her to dress nice, after all.

"Beck, this seems rather kinky!" she says.

"Shh, shh…" He chuckles under his breath because all of their friends are waiting just a few feet away.

Planting her in front of himself and facing everyone sitting outside the trailer, he finally unties the handkerchief and there is a resounding, "Happy Birthweek, Trina!"

She gasps dramatically and he hopes it isn't too forced. Not only is it Trina's first birthday as his girlfriend, but it's her eighteenth birthday—well the week of her eighteenth birthday, at least.

Thankfully, she turns around, smiling brightly at him. "Beck, did you do all this?" she squeals.

"Tori helped," he says, giving the other Vega a nod.

"Thank you. This is amazing," she tells Beck, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Happy Birthweek, babe." He leans in slowly, planting a kiss on her lips.

Beck releases Trina to greet her party guests and moves to grab a wine cooler for her and a beer for himself. Glancing over the lid of the cooler as he started to shut it, he sees Jade sitting on top of a picnic table off to the side and he grabs a second wine cooler.

Sliding onto the table beside her, Beck holds out the pink colored beverage to Jade.

"No thanks," she says briefly, and he draws it back.

"Well, I'm glad you could make it today, Jade."

She shrugs it off. "It's nothing. I doubt Trina really cared whether I was here or not, but Tori kind of begged me to come and I wasn't busy, so—." She shrugs again.

"Well, I care," he says lightly. "You're our friend, Jade. We want you around."

"Gee, thaaanks," she responds, sarcastically.

Before he can get another word in, Trina is grabbing onto his arm and yanking him away. He quickly waves to his ex before turning to his current girlfriend and handing her the drink. It was awkward at first, especially under the circumstances which Jade had found out about Trina and himself. But it was high school and they had the same group of friends. They all had little choice but to just get over it—which is never much of a problem for someone as easygoing as Beck.

It sure does make him wonder why he always ends up with such high maintenance girlfriends. Maybe it's the whole 'opposites attract' principle. But Beck thinks it's because he needs someone to make him care; make him feel.

Actually, he likes to make other people feel, because he has such a problem with it, himself.

"I'm so glad you did this," Trina says. "Like, having my Birthday Week party here is so much cooler than having it at my house. We can do whatever we want!" He knows that Trina's parents aren't around much, anyway, and that spending her birthday with them is actually more important to her than she is willing to admit—which is why he already made reservations for the Vega's on Trina's actual birthday.

"You're worth it, babe," he assures her with a quick kiss, but neither of them pulls away. Their lips move with one another's, slowly parting until their tongues meet.

Jade never had a problem with public displays of affection, but he always felt as though she enjoyed showing off their relationship. When Trina gets caught up in a moment, she just doesn't care who is around or what they think.

"Hey, get a room!" he hears Tori shout suddenly, and she throws a handful of popcorn at them.

"Why don't you get a room for your butt!"

Beck laughs at his girlfriend's frequent, though quite unusual, comeback. And pretty soon they are all laughing.

Lately, he's been laughing without sighing, and yelling without fighting, and loving without hiding from his feelings. He's remembering what it's like to feel, again.

Beck thinks his life might finally be back to normal—whatever that means.

xxx

Every day of Trina's birthweek, Beck gets her another present—a scarf, chocolates, flowers. But her actual birthday is the most important.

She is out to dinner with her family, giving him plenty of time to prepare back at his trailer.

'We're just having dessert. I'll be over soon, boo. xx'

He feels his stomach turn with a disturbing combination of nervousness an excitement. He never really got to feel like that with Jade. Sure, he had been nervous at times, but they had experienced all of their 'firsts' together. There was never that apprehension of being unsure if the other person felt the same way.

Beck knows that Trina is crazy about him. She always had been, but that was before they really knew each other. Now that they are in a relationship, it doesn't really matter to him that she threw herself at him for a year.

So he's nervous. Nervous. Even as an aspiring actor, he can't remember the last time he was truly nervous.

Suddenly, he feels a bit better, because he likes that Trina is bringing out that side of him.

Laying down on his bed, he sighs, staring at the ceiling, then at the box on his dresser; back at the ceiling, and then back at the box, again.

He doesn't even notice himself drift off, until he feels Trina blowing in his ear.

"Hey, baby…" he says, sitting up a bit. His lips brush against hers and he runs a hand through her hair, cupping her cheek. "Happy birthday."

She giggles softly and crawls onto the bed, all while keeping her lips attached to his. As crazy as Trina can be—and as much as he loves that about her, Beck appreciates the subtle romance she brings to the relationship.

It's so easy for him to get caught up in every moment with her; completely forget what he's doing—especially when she sits up to pull her shirt up over her head. And he is still slightly groggy from the unexpected nap.

But it doesn't take him long to recall what he wants to do, and with her right there in his arms, Beck finds himself no longer nervous, and just excited.

"Wait, wait one second," he tells Trina, getting up off the bed and leaving her confused. "I have to give you your birthday present first." Grinning, he grabs the box off of his dresser.

"But Beck, you already got me so much!" Trina pouts, but he can see the glimmer in her eyes.

Sitting back down on the bed, he puts the box in her lap. "Just open it," he says lowly, watching as she takes the lid off.

Her gasp nearly echoes through his trailer when she sees the teardrop diamond necklace. Beck picks it up and gently brushes her hair to the side to clasp it around her neck.

"Beck, it's so beautiful…" she whispers tearfully, leaning in to kiss him deeply.

He manages a grin against her lips even though giving her the gift isn't what he's been nervous about. "You're beautiful, Trina," he says softly, taking the necklace from her. He brushes her hair off her shoulders and clasps it around her neck, watching the drop land perfectly between her breasts.

"I love you."

At first, he isn't even sure who the whispered words came from, but when he hears Trina's sweet, higher-pitched voice say, "I love you, too, Beck!" he knows he did everything right.

And perhaps that he shouldn't have been so worried to begin with.

xxx

With the majority of his friends working on the school's current musical, Les Miserable, Beck found himself hanging around rehearsals whenever Trina was busy. She had been taking a lot of extra dance classes, lately, not to mention that she would be graduating soon.

It's strange to him, now having a girlfriend that is going to be moving on with life while he is still in high school. They haven't discussed it much, yet, but he assumes that she'll be staying in Los Angeles to try and find auditions. Trina can't carry a tune to save her life, but she isn't a bad dancer or actress when she doesn't push too hard.

With his feet propped up on the seat in front of him, Beck's homework is in his lap while he sits in the audience of the auditorium. He thinks that math is even worse for the kids at Hollywood Arts, because they get so many other enjoyable classes that they would rather focus on.

Rehearsals are definitely still in the rough stages, but they're starting to run some of the bigger musical numbers. He's been quietly humming along to the showtunes when he hears the intro to the musical's most well-known song.

Looking up, he sees her standing center stage. She's still in her usual street clothes, but her colored streaks are gone, because people obviously didn't have those during the French Revolution. Even though he's not her boyfriend anymore, he can't help but feel a little bit proud when she sings the intro perfectly in tune.

Jade West deserves this part, and everyone knows it, despite whatever jealous rumors had went around.

"On my own, pretending he's beside me…" She starts the main part of the song—the part that so many people recognize, even if they don't know the musical. But when he looks up at her, he feels like it's just for him.

He shouldn't, because he has a girlfriend. Because he and Jade are broken up. Because she's acting, right now. But the stage isn't lit, yet, so he knows she can see right back into his eyes and that she can see right through him.

"Without me, his world would go on turning—a world that's full of happiness that I have never known." He gulps, knowing that she's right. Well, the song is right. As an actor, Beck has never had a problem with the stage interfering with his personal life, but when Jade performs, it's something entirely different.

But they didn't make each other happy anymore, and he was happy now, with Trina. He just wishes Jade wasn't—.

"On my own…"

As she finishes the song, it finishes his thought. The director immediately joins her on stage for notes and Beck slips out one of the side doors before the magic goes away and he realizes that it was just for show.

xxx

He wants a cigarette. He really wants a cigarette. But Andre doesn't smoke them, so he lights up a joint, instead, and cracks the window above his bed.

"Jade sounded really good at that rehearsal the other day," Beck says, his voice slightly distorted because he's still holding in the draw he took as he passes the joint over to his friend.

"Yeah, don't tell Tori, but I'm really glad Jade got the part. She was meant to play Eponine," Andre says, taking a quick puff and immediately releasing the smoke, causing Beck to wave his hand in front of his face. "You two seem to have patched things up since—."

"Since she hit me?" Beck finishes the sentence for him and leans over to snatch the joint back.

"Well come on, man, you kind of deserved it," Andre says, with his usual nervous chuckle that Beck secretly kind of hates. It's too obvious. His best friend often tries too hard.

"Hey!" Beck snaps, with a scowl on his face, immediately causing Andre's chuckle to fade.

"Well, I mean, you did hook up with her at the party that weekend…" he responds, meekly.

Beck rolls his eyes, allowing himself another long drag before passing it back. "Does everyone know about that?"

"Well, Jade told Cat, so you were kinda screwed from the start," Andre says. He knew that, because Trina had told him that Cat told her. Still, he didn't think everyone would have cared that much. But it's high school. Of course they do. "But I heard from Trina, actually."

"Whoa, wait—Why was Trina talking to you about that? It happened before she and I were official." Beck is pretty sure this is the longest he's worn such a confused and irritated expression on his face. He's rarely one to wear his emotions. The last time he remembers looking so obviously emotional was when he and Jade broke up.

"So?" Andrew quips, looking at him. "We all know Trina acts like she's hot shit, but she is crazy insecure. And she's still crazy jealous of Jade."

Beck scoffs and pulls his feet up onto his mattress. "Why would she be jealous of Jade? I love Trina."

"Yeah, well, Jade's hot!" Andre says and Beck glares at him. His face quickly falls before continuing. "Look, people in high school usually don't have relationships that last as long or are as intense as yours and Jade's was…" He shrugs and Beck knows he has a point. But he just wants it to be a normal, teenage relationship that ended—like most of them do. "People see the way you and Jade still look at each other."

"Oh-Okay… Jade and I do not look at each other…anymore," he says, chuckling nervously.

Andre shrugs, taking another drag and Beck knows he's about useless to the world at this point. He might conjure up a few new riffs for potential new songs, but as far as conversation goes, they're about done.

And that leaves Beck with his thoughts. And thanks to Andre's words, that's really not the company he prefers, right now.

xxx

Now that the weather has gotten really warm, Beck and Trina spend a lot more time hanging out at his trailer, instead of tucked away in her attic. In the winter months, which, for a Canadian native really weren't harsh at all, Beck loved that room. But now that he and Trina's relationship has progressed so much and the sun is out all day, he sees no reason to hide away. Plus, they're both naturally of dark complexion, unlike Jade who—.

Jade. He has to stop thinking about Jade. He isn't really even thinking about her. Often times, he just wonders if he's thinking about her; if the passing glance he gave her in the hallway was that supposed 'look' Andre was talking about. But no, Beck isn't thinking about Jade, because as strange as it is, he's in love with Trina Vega.

Throwing the Nerf football they've been playing with, Beck gasps and looks up, but it's too late.

"Ow—Beck!" Trina shrieks, looking over at him with her mouth agape.

"You weren't even paying attention!" he calls back, but knows that he wasn't paying attention, either, to realize that she wasn't paying attention. Shaking his head, he jogs over to her.

"I know. My phone is ringing. But these jean shorts are really tight!"

"I'll say…" Beck smirks and moves to pat her on the ass, but she manages to pull out her phone just in time to answer it.

"Hello?" He sees her face fall only moments after the greeting is spoken. "Yeah, I-I don't know where his phone is." She kicks the football out of the way and grabs her keys from the picnic table. "I know, I'm telling him. We're basically on our way."

"Treen—" he starts, but she's already getting in her car and starting the engine.

"Come on!" she shouts and he can tell by her tone that she's not messing around. And not in her usual demanding way, either. She sounds concerned.

He's barely in the seat when she starts driving. "Jade's in the hospital," she says. Beck wants to respond right away, but he doesn't even know what to say. "She like, collapsed or something at rehearsal, so they called an ambulance. Tori and Robbie got a cab, so they're almost there."

"She's…okay, right?" he asks, because she has to be. She's Jade. Nothing could possibly take Jade out.

"Yeah—I mean, she was coherent and talking and everything. But obviously she's sick or something."

Did she just overwork herself at rehearsals? Was she just dehydrated or something? "So, why are we going there?" he asks. He didn't mean for it to sound so heartless. When he thought about it, they had all gone to the hospital with Robbie—and even Rex, for God's sake. "Nevermind."

"No, Tori said Jade said to get Beck. She was talking really fast, and she's Tori, so I didn't get all the details. But yeah, I got that," Trina says, keeping her eyes on the road. Beck can't tell if she's upset or nervous or if she is really feeling anything at all.

Beck's not sure he feels anything, either—for Trina, Jade…anything.

The car ride is silent, which is incredibly awkward, given that Trina is always talking—unless her mouth is somewhere on his body. But the whole situation is awkward. His current girlfriend is driving him to see his sick and/or hurt ex-girlfriend, whom he loved and will always probably care about. What can either of them say?

They don't say anything until they get to the hospital. Getting out of the car, Beck puts his hand on Trina's back as they walk into the lobby and ask to see Jade. They don't say anything on the walk to her room, either.

Standing in the doorway, Beck hesitantly peeks in. "Beck!" he hears Jade cry out immediately, almost sounding like she was choking back a sob.

"I'm going to go talk to Tori, okay?" Trina whispers. Beck simply nods and waits for her to head down the hallway before he walks into Jade's room and sits down beside her bed.

"You look okay, but you don't…look okay," Beck whispers to Jade, looking at her with sad eyes. She is even more pale than usual, but it isn't that. There's something wrong. He doesn't think he would be able to see that much feeling in anyone else, nor would Jade let anyone else see that much feeling in her. Because even though they never really made sense as a couple, they brought things out of each other.

Jade sighs and he almost sees her hard exterior come back as she glances away, but she turns back to him and he can see something there. "I was pregnant, Beck."

Suddenly, all the color drains from his face and he finds himself taking her hand, more for his own comfort than for hers.

"I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know what I was going to do. You were with her! And I was alone, so I just…" She stops and squeezes her eyes shut, starting to cry just then. "I kept trying to ignore it. I shouldn't have pushed myself so hard! But the musical—."

"Hey, shh…" he whispers, finally. If there's one thing he knows, it's that the miscarriage wasn't her fault. "It's okay." Carefully, he climbs onto the small hospital bed, laying down beside her and holding her in his arms.

"I'm so sorry, Beck. I'm so sorry!" Jade sobs.

But a single tear falls down Beck's cheek. And then another. And another. And another.

Until he's crying.

xxx

It doesn't take Beck long to get back to normal—whatever that is. In fact, it's only been a couple days since the miscarriage and everything seems to be the way it was, save for him smoking a few extra cigarettes a day. Well, along the fact that he hasn't really talked to Trina or Jade since that day.

Of course he's sad; of course he's confused. But Jade hadn't even decided what she was going to do and he knows that they aren't ready to have kids—not yet.

And then he realizes that Jade is the only person he could picture himself having kids with some day. He knows that maybe that will change; that he might marry someone who isn't Jade or Trina, and have kids with them. At this point in his life, he is too young to have a kid. But at this point in his life, when he thinks about it, he can only picture having them with Jade.

Hearing a knock at his trailer door, Beck's sitting on his bed and turns his head from where it had been positioned so he could stare at the wall. He already knows who it is. Not Jade, no. She wouldn't knock.

"Come in!" he shouts, not really feeling like getting up. "Treen…" Beck murmurs before he turns to smile softly at her. He hasn't been avoiding her, persay, but given everything that had happened, he needed some space and she probably didn't want to be around him because of that, anyway.

Smiling back at him, Trina moves over to the bed and sits down. "How are you doing?" she asks, more calmly than he ever would have imagined.

"I'm alright. Thanks, babe," he says, giving her a weak smile.

"Good. Listen, I hate to immediately start talking about me—" she says, but he knows she doesn't. That's something he likes about her, though. He doesn't like to dwell on himself. A girlfriend who paid constant attention to him would not be a good match for Beck. "But I have some news."

He is able to give her a full smile, now. Leave it to Trina to go right back to the way things were.

"After graduation, I'm moving to Chicago."

"Wait—what?" The smile falls as quickly as it had appeared and Beck finds himself gaping at his girlfriend.

"Let's face it… It's pretty obvious that I'm not going to make in acting here in L.A.—at least, not without some experience, first. I think this could be good for me," she tells him.

For the first time since he has known the older Vega sister, she is actually making sense. Well, aside from the ways their relationship made sense to them, even though it didn't to other people. Many people thought he and Jade didn't make sense. But when he thinks about it, she and Jade have a lot of common traits when it comes to being in a relationship. They are both somewhat self-absorbed and needy—but they challenge him, and Beck likes that.

They are similar in a lot of ways, but different, too. Like smoke and fire. After the fire burns out, the smoke is still there. He's just not sure which one is Jade and which one is Trina.

"That's great, Trina. I'm proud of you. But what's going to happen to us?" he chokes out, finally.

Smiling, Trina reaches for his hand. "You're going to stay here and graduate from Hollywood Arts—with my sister, and Cat and Andre, and—and Jade," she says, nodding. "That's how it should be, Beck."

He wonders if she's only referring to him staying in Los Angeles, or if she means him being with Jade, too. "How do you know?" he murmurs, looking down between them.

"I know I complicate things. I can be stubborn and only see what I want to see. But sometimes something is so transparent that anyone can see it."

He frowns and looks up at her; looks at her necklace. He is glad when she continues and he doesn't have to say what is on his mind.

"Beck, you showed me that I don't always have to do that—see things the way I want to see them. You saw me just the way I was and you saw someone good and worthwhile. I needed that—I needed that to be able to make this move…which I also need," she tells him. Bringing her free hand to her necklace, she holds onto it. "I'll never forget that, Beck," she whispers.

Smiling softly, he leans forward to pull her into a hug. Beck isn't sure what it all means for him, but he knows that's not what matters. This is about Trina and he's happy to have played a hand.

xxx

Congratulations to the cast of Les Miserables! Goobye and good luck, Trina!

This time, they're at the Vega's house. But it seems like they had just been celebrating Trina's birthday at his trailer, earlier in the spring. At the same time, Beck thinks it seems like so long since everything had changed. Then again, things first changed when he had broken up with Jade, and they were just getting back to normal.

Helping Tori refill the snack bowls, he smiles over at his friends. Really, everything started changing back when Tori transferred to Hollywood Arts. The tension between he and Jade rose, and he became closer to Trina. Even though things were finally going back to the way they were, he wouldn't change anything that had happened. He's grown because of it, and that growth was a long time coming.

"Thanks for everything," Beck says to Tori, still smiling and still staring.

Raising an eyebrow, she returns the glance. "For…the snacks?" she questions, perplexed.

Rolling his eyes, Beck chuckles. "Nah, just—everything." He doesn't really expect Tori to understand, and he knows she won't expect him to explain. Tori is helpful, perhaps often in superficial ways, but Beck isn't the deepest person, anyway.

She says "Aww!" and is about to give him a hug when everyone finally notices Robbie standing on the couch, shouting. He declares that they need one last picture together before Trina leaves and almost ends up having to take it, until Mrs. Vega finally agrees to, instead.

They all huddle up and Beck can't help but sneak in next to Trina. "Are you excited, yet?" he asks her with a grin.

"More than I've ever been," she replies. And he knows that's saying something because Trina gets excited when her favorite juice is in the cafeteria fountain machine. It used to have to be that she got excited about the little things, but now she has something big ahead of her and Beck has come to learn in the last year just how much she deserves it.

After a few flashes, they disperse and while Trina gets the last of her luggage. Following her outside, Trina's parents load up the car while she goes around giving her hugs. Beck wonders if everyone is hugging her because they are happy to see her go, but he knows that in a few months' time, none of it will matter to her.

She hugs him last and he squeezes her extra tight. "Thank you, Beck. I'll miss you most—but you'll be more than fine here," she whispers in his ear.

"I'll miss you, too, but I know you'll be amazing out there," he says back, smiling as they pull away from one another.

She gets in the car with her parents and gives one last dramatic wave out the window.

Just like that, Trina is gone, with a blaze of fire. Jade moves up behind him, slowly slinking her arms around his waist, staying there encircling him—like smoke.

xxx