She Will Be Loved

Chapter One: Miles and Miles

In my mind, she was a beauty queen of only 18 years old. My world, my life, my princess, and my love. She never knew how I felt about her. I could only watch her as she grew from a wonderful 16 year old girl in to a gorgeous 18 year old woman. A woman who wanted love from a man she could only love.

God...

Why didn't I tell her sooner? I blame myself for being so self-conscious, I blame myself for being so stoic about everything.

If I had told her sooner, maybe she wouldn't be with another... gulps

...Man.

But then again, I couldn't find any signs that she felt the same. If there were any, they would be hard to figure out. She never felt the same, she never treated me more than an older brother, the girl I love doesn't feel anything more than brother love towards me.

Himeno...

I want you so much, but then yet I feel like we're miles and miles apart. Just like a shining star, I feel like I can just stretch out and reach it, but I can't ever touch it. You are that shining star that I can't reach out to. How can I ever tell you that I love you?

Years, its been 3 years since I've last seen your smiling face. You should be 21 years old while now I'm at my point of 23. Its feels like forever since I've actually smiled at you smiling at me. I don't know how I managed to keep my feelings anew for this long. I was suppose to get over you, I was suppose to quit loving you after you found love in another man's arms. I hate it...

I hate the fact you left me here without any warning.

I hate the fact you don't even call me anymore.

I hate the fact you don't text me anymore.

I hate the fact you stopped emailing me.

I hate the fact you never come back to visit.

I hate the fact you seem to never want to speak to me.

I hate the fact... that I have to spend every waking moment realizing that you're not here next to me! How am I suppose to deal with that every day? Do you even know how much it hurts?

It's killing me! I can't take much of the pain even if I'm the Leafe Knight of Wind. I never meant to fall in love with you... It just happened. I got too close and now we're just so far.

I can only look at your picture every morning and every night wondering where you are and how you are doing. I wonder if you even think of your family... How about the other knights? They are all devastated when you left without telling them. Do you think about them anymore? Then how about me? The person who was always next to you, the one who has saved your life so many times. Do you even remember any of us?

I can only remember how you looked like. Your eyes as red as shining rubies, red hair as smooth as silk, your smile as gorgeous as the sun setting over the horizon; everything about you is so beautiful.

WHERE IN THE WORLD HAVE YOU GONE, D*MN IT?

I just miss you!

I miss you enough to start crying when I'm alone in my apartment thinking about you. I want you to know everything of how I feel and whats on my mind. I want you to know that I love you Himeno. I love you so much that I would die for you.

I want you Himeno, I just want you...

But I guess its too late for that now.