Hello everyone, No im not dead! Im so so so so so sorry, i have left it so long. Ive been really ill, but its here now. The final chapter. Finally! Thank you to all the people who reviewed and continue to follow. I dont think i would have got round to finishing it if you didnt!

Here it is. And i will try to get round to my other story soon!

Merlin was shivering. He had been sitting out on the towers battlements for what felt like days, just trying to not think. But it was getting dark now and the bell would surely be tolling soon. He should go inside. Back down to his room, find Gaius, he would be worried about him. Though no doubt Lancelot had gone to find Gaius to reassure him after he had found him out here earlier.

His mind flickered back to the conversation he had had with Lancelot what must have been almost two hours ago now. How Lancelot had told him he had been looking for him for hours.

When he had first found Merlin out here he stayed silent. Choosing to sit down next to him and wait. But as the silence stretched Lancelot had begun to speak. Speak about how he should be more careful, that it was over with now as no one had believed Gwaine but it was too dangerous, too close.

His own voice came echoing through his mind then trying to defend his actions to Lancelot, and knowing Lancelot didn't need him to.

"I trusted him"

He saw the way Lancelot had looked at him then, the sympathy in his eyes at his words. The way he said sorry as if everything was broken now.

Lancelot had stayed with him a while longer before he realised he wouldn't be getting anything else out of Merlin. He had watched as Lancelot had left to tell Gaius that he was okay. Telling him to not stay out here too long.

Merlin chuckled to himself. It was dark now. Was that too long? Probably, he thought as he shivered against the cold breeze again.

But Lancelot had not come back to check on him. Accepting he probably wasn't going to say anything else or listen to any more lectures tonight.

Merlin sighed. He should go in. Find Gaius. Find some food, though he wasn't hungry.

"I trusted him"

It kept echoing through his head.

It was wrong. It was all wrong. He did trust Gwaine. Trust present tense not past. Didn't he? Gwaine was still his friend wasn't he? Even though his chest ached every time he thought of what Gwaine had done, and he felt that little bit more broken than before.

He had forgiven Gwaine hadn't he? The moment he had silently begged Arthur not to banish him, to give him another chance. So Gwaine was still his friend, and had been forgiven right?

Though that was the point wasn't it? He had silently begged Arthur. He hadn't said one word to defend his friend, hadn't said anything to try to help Gwaine.

Didn't that mean he hadn't truly forgiven him? Did Merlin have to forgive Gwaine to trust him?

He remembered Gwaines broken look as he had tried to get to Merlin in the corridor before the meeting. Gwaine was more broken than he was about this.

And if Gwaine was his friend, then wasn't it Merlins job to make sure he was okay? Even if he himself was still a little broken, because hadn't he done this before, wasn't this just another small crack to him, another small step towards being completely broken. He had taken hits like this before, everything he had suffered, sacrificed to be here, to be who he was now. It was just another small little crack to him.

He'd get through this.

He still trusted Gwaine. Trusted that Gwaine wouldn't tell anyone again. Gwaine was his friend, he had made a mistake, but he was sorry.

So Merlin had to forgive him, had to make sure he was okay. Because Gwaine was more broken than he was.

Merlin pushed himself up from the cold stone floor he was sitting on. Glancing over at the citadel as he got feeling back into his arms and legs, he turned to head back inside and down into the castle.

He would make sure Gwaine was okay, no one else would. His pain meant nothing after all. He had done this enough times for Arthur, for Camelot. Smile and nod as his heart was burning. Because he was the only one that could help, the only one that could make his friend better.

Gwaine might not be his destiny but that didn't make him less important. He was by Arthurs side because he was his friend, and if he stood by Arthur while he spouted his father's hatred for magic. Then he could stand by his friend. His friend who wasn't upset by his magic but had made a mistake. Pure and simple.

This was easy.

He'd done this before.

He was in the knights quarters quicker than he had wanted. He stood in the hall way for a moment longer, composing himself before he knocked quietly at the door.

He watched Leon walk down the corridor, nodding at him as he left his chambers.

He knocked again on the door a bit louder but didn't wait for an answer this time as he tentatively opened the door.

It was dark but there was enough light coming through the windows to see clearly enough. He glanced around the room as he stepped inside, stopping as he spotted Gwaine huddled on the floor against the wall.

Taking a silent deep breath, Merlin closed the door behind him and stepped into the room.

He stood still wondering whether he should approach or talk first. As a wave of doubt washed over him.

He watched as Gwaine slowly lifted his head to see who it was. Saw the pain flicker onto his face as he caught his eye.

After a few seconds of just standing there watching his broken friend, Merlin moved forward, forcing himself to smile as he slowly sat down against the wall next to Gwaine.

While all the time Gwaines eyes followed him.

Merlin sighed as he turned his face to look out at the moonlight coming through the window.

They sat there in silence as Gwaine tried to say sorry and Merlin forgave him. Not once speaking. Knowing that the other one knew already just by them being there.

They sat there as the bell tolled and it got even darker outside before being shaken out of their thoughts by a knock at the door.

They turned to see who it was as a servant carrying a large tray of food came into the dark room. Glancing round before he spotted them, the boy paused before coming over to where they sat on the floor. Carefully placing the tray on the floor and pouring water into the two goblets he had brought with him.

Merlin eyed him suspiciously, it was Edward he had seen him in the kitchens enough to know the boy, he worked in the knights wing but why had he brought enough for two?

The servant caught his gaze, he placed the goblet back down before speaking.

"Sir Lancelot sent me to the kitchens, he said you would be eating with Sir Gwaine"

Merlin nodded as Edward got up and went over to the light the fire, he lit some candles around the room before heading out the door again.

Lancelot? How did Lancelot know he'd be here? Merlin answered that question as soon as he thought it. Leon. He must have seen Leon.

Merlin Glanced at the food. The peace offering. That's what this was. Lancelot knew he was with Gwaine, knew he had probably angered Merlin for saying he shouldn't have told Gwaine. Knew by now, that Merlin had forgiven Gwaine and was moving on.

This was Lancelot telling Merlin that if he trusted Gwaine then he would too.

Realising how hungry he was, he guessed Gwaine must be starving too, as it didn't look like he had eaten lunch either. He glanced at Gwaine, noticing the knight had not grabbed any food.

Merlin, sighed again, knowing it would take a while for Gwaine to be back to his old self, but knowing he was in a much better state than he was earlier.

"Well if you're not eating any I'll have your bit. It's not often I get food fit for knights"

"Really? I thought you stole half of Arthurs breakfast every morning? He's always complaining you don't give him much but I know full well you leave the kitchens with a full tray every morning"

Merlin relaxed as he and Gwaine started to laugh, grabbing some food off the plates, he knew it would be okay.

He trusted Gwaine, and although it had been difficult for both of them they were still friends. Lancelot was still there looking out for him as always. Maybe telling Arthur wouldn't be so bad in the end after all.

There it is. My first fan fic is over! Please review and tell me what you think. Thank you all for reading!