Summary: Castiel is a lonely angel residing in Heaven, his only companion his loyal mud-monkey, Dean. When Castiel meets important Gabriel and his frisky pet Sam, something ensues. AU Sam/Dean Gabriel/Castiel unrelated slash.

A/N: Sorry about this update coming a bit late. I had some kind of a weird broadband outage last night.

A/N: Final chapter. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favourited and alerted. I wasn't sure about this one, but everyone seems to have taken it in the fun spirit it was intended.

A Walkies On The Wild Side (Part 5 of 5) by frostygossamer

After running around for a long time, both mud-monkeys were eventually exhausted and so they flung themselves down in an ornamental flower display to recover.

"Lost," Dean panted accusingly.

"Not lost," Sam insisted. He was, but he was never going to admit it. "Need to git my freakin' bearings is all, dude."

"Freakin' lost," Dean repeated, snickering quietly into the lilies.

"Not sure that I like you so much any more," Sam complained.

Dean chuckled and rolled onto his back, bringing his knees up to hug them against his broad chest.

"'S freakin' cold," he complained. "Miss the big ole fireplace."

"'S not cold," Sam denied. He was denying everything now.

His concentration was kind of distracted by the sight of Dean's bewitching rear orifice, still open and glistening from their last bout of nookie. It was dazzling, Sam thought, as he gave it a quick, absentminded tongue-over. It tasted deliciously of his own spicy sauce.

"Thought you didn't like me anymore," Dean's mocking voice remarked from the other end.

"Like your wazoo just fine," Sam commented dryly. "It's your snarky mouth I could freakin' live without."

Dean instantly squeezed his buttocks together, not caring about how bad-mannered that was.

"Jeez, dude! The two holes come as a set," he griped.

"All too aware of that, mudz," retorted Sam with a chuckle.

He couldn't stay angry with Dean too long, not when he was so much fun to be with. And so easy.

"Suppose I plug you right now, mudz. That make you shut up?" Sam suggested by way of compromise.

"Heck no," Dean snapped. "No freakin' way. Heck yeah to the pluggin', sure. Heck no to the shuttin' up."

All this talk of plugging was getting Sam aroused again, so he folded.

"OK then," he said, jumping to his knees. "Spread your legs good and wide, dude. I'm freakin' coming in."

They set about fornicating loudly and wildly right there in full view of the now busy office building. Dean kicked his legs up real high and Sam put them over his shoulders, pushing his tool deeper and deeper inside his friend's willing hole.

"Jeez, this thin' is freakin' deep," he gasped. "Seen rabbit holes less deep."

"Quit your yackin' 'bout rabbits," Dean complained. "Makin' me fungry."

Then, after a moment's thought, he demanded,

"Hey, and since when did you fudge a rabbit?"

~xXx~

Castiel was sitting at his desk engrossed in his work, nose buried in a paper mountain of celestial proportions. He was thankful to have something useful to do to divert his mind from his domestic pet problems.

He slowly became aware of the sound of muffled hilarity coming from the general direction of the main office picture window, the one that overlooked the glorious lily bed in front of the building. His focus thus disrupted, Castiel became curious. He questioned one of the office boys who was standing near his door grinning inanely.

"Something going on outside?" he asked.

The boy's grin dropped from his face and he shuffled awkwardly.

"N-nothing," he stammered. "Just something in the hanging garden."

Interested now, Castiel pushed to the front of the growing crowd by the window, to get himself a good look. He was appalled by what he saw. Two mud-monkeys going hard 'at it' amongst the lilies, showing flagrant disregard for propriety and visibility. And what's more those mud-monkeys were his mud-monkeys.

Dean was laying on his back with his legs high in the air and Sam was drilling into him ferociously with a expression of intense joy on his face. Even from inside the almost soundproofed office they could all hear that both creatures were yowling with pleasure, evidently thoroughly enjoying their debauchery.

Castiel's face turned bright scarlet.

~xXx~

Castiel stumbled blindly downstairs and out the main entrance in the direction of the lily bed. When he arrived there he found that the two offending creatures had already been netted by a couple building security guards. One guard was struggling to tie a length of hairy string to Sam's collar while Dean curled his lip and growled at him from inside the net.

"Ex-excuse me, officers," Castiel stammered. "But what are you doing with my muddies?"

One security guard folded his arms and disdainfully regarded Castiel down his nose.

"YOUR muddies?" he repeated. "You're saying you're RESPONSIBLE for these creatures?"

"Yes, well, no," Castiel answered. "That is to say, I AM responsible for THEM, but I am definitely NOT responsible for their recent disgraceful behaviour."

"I should certainly hope NOT," the other guard commented. "'S disgusting!"

"I'm afraid, Sir," the first guard began, with false courtesy, "that you'll have to remove these mud-monkeys from the precincts forthwith. Otherwise we shall have to call in the Control Officers."

Castiel blanched. "C-certainly, officers," he stuttered. "I'll see to that right away."

The desparate angel was beginning to panic about what to do next when Gabriel appeared at his elbow. Sam went mad when he saw his master had returned ALIVE! For all he knew Gabriel had been gone for good. Like most mud-monkeys, he feared that every single time his master left his sight.

"Now what do we have here?" the archangel asked airily.

Recognizing a superior rank in their midst, the two security guards sniffed and stiffly pulled themselves up to their full heights.

"There's no problem, Sir," one ventured. "We have the situation under control."

Gabriel chuckled. "I doubt it," he snapped, then he turned to Castiel with a comforting smile. "Don't you worry about a thing, Cas. I'll have this business sorted in no time at all."

Castiel sighed with relief. It was so nice to have a friend in high places to take care of things.

~xXx~

Ten minutes later Sam, now simmered down, was locked up in Gabriel's car and Dean was on his way home with Castiel in a company vehicle.

Gabriel had untied the length of hairy string the security guys had tied around Sam's neck and guided the big muddie onto the back seat. He scowled at him in mock-admonishment.

"What DID you think you were doing, huh?" he asked, shaking his head. "Boy, you are one sinful-ass mudder."

Gabriel closed the car door and went back inside the building, laughing uncontrollably. He had never seen anything so funny in his whole life. He left poor Sam to muse on his situation alone.

Sam considered he had been treated extremely unfairly. Granted, he had run away, but he had been DRIVEN to that. Driven by the cruel and unusual punishment he had been dealt by his master's new friend. How could he have been expected to accept being trussed up in an apparatus which restricted his mud-hood in that mortifying and discomforting fashion? It was SO unangelic. He had had a DUTY to rebel. What sane mud-monkey would not?

It was, after all, his one and only transgression. Apart from that he had behaved impeccably. He had been perfectly nice to Castiel and faultlessly polite in his relations with his muddie, always asking permission, never forgetting to say thank you. What more could anyone expect from him? He had done his best to be good.

Sam lay down across the back seat with his head on his hands. And what was going to be his awful fate? He could but speculate. Would it involve leather straps and cold surgical steel? Or being sentenced to a kennel for UNWANTED pets? Either way he could probably kiss goodbye to his toys. He didn't relish the prospect of a neutered life without the company of Dean and his lovely hole.

"Poor Sammy," he murmured to himself.

~xXx~

Back at Castiel's apartment, the angel was troubled. Today he had been discombobulated in front of his whole office. Actually, it wasn't even so much by the antics of those silly creatures, who after all were only doing what came naturally. No, it was more by the fact that everyone had seen him turn beet red, betraying his ridiculous naivety.

A grown angel of his years should have been able to blithely laugh off an incident like that. As it was, it had been plain to everyone that he knew too little of the ways of his Father's creation.

Castiel looked at Dean, sitting on the bathroom floor blank eyed. The mud-monkey was more innocent than a child and yet he was generous and open-hearted in a way Castiel had never been. He wondered if he had seemed like a total prude to Gabriel when he had turned down his comfort the previous night. Probably. But maybe he wasn't too old to change. He might find out what he was missing.

Meanwhile he intended to fill the bathtub and give this dirty sinner a thorough scrub, whether he liked it or not.

~xXx~

Dean sat on the floor. The bathtub faucets were running full blast and he knew what that meant, a BATH. Now Dean didn't mind bathing per se, he had enjoyed some fun times up to his neck in river water or up to his belly in a muddy puddle. He didn't even mind CLEAN water, once and again.

It was the literal BEING bathed that Dean objected to. Castiel was a DEMON with a scratchy washcloth, but he always conspicuously MISSED the sensitive bits that really needed the attention. Dean always had to see to those little omissions himself.

If Dean had NEEDED to be clean he would have preferred to let Sam wash him all over with his clever, agile, sandpaper tongue. And Sam wouldn't have skipped those fun sensitive parts.

But Castiel was an angel and the bathing was NOT consensual, so inevitably there would be fighting, every darned time. Dean couldn't help himself. There were just some things he couldn't lay down for. The bathroom was where he drew the line.

~xXx~

A whole hour later, Dean was laying on a towel in front of the living room fireplace drying nicely, while Castiel finished mopping out the sudsy bathroom. Dean felt uncomfortably clean but, worse than that, he had lost the distinctive scent of Sam on his body and that sense of their connection with it.

He whimpered. Sam was gone, who knew where. Perhaps he would never enjoy him again. Perhaps his master would never let him enjoy ANYONE again. He missed Sam so much already. His minty-fresh butthole twitched forlornly whenever he thought of him.

~xXx~

When Gabriel left the divine presence, after making his personal report to his Father on the outcome of his visit to Earth, all he wanted to do was go on home , stretch out in his own bed and sleep, perchance to dream.

His contented mood was wrecked, however, when he got back to his car and found Sam melted all over the back seat like a spent candle. He was so limp and dejected he looked as if someone had removed his backbone and left him flat as a deflated balloon.

"It's not so bad, Sammy boy," Gabriel consoled him. "Least YOU managed to get you some action, huh?"

Sam's voluminous chest rose and fell with one immense sigh, and Gabriel had an idea.

~xXx~

The next Saturday Gabriel was in the Elysian Fields park early, waiting for his favourite angel to come along, a big bouquet in his hands. He was sitting on a park bench watching assorted angels strolling happily with their children and lovers. Seeing young angels so happy in each other's company made him feel both glad and wistful at the same time.

Sam sat on the grass behind the bench, staring pointedly into the distance. He wasn't happy with his master right now. Gabriel was going to have to repair some serious bridges before he was forgiven by his pet. Sam had had a good thing going with Dean and he was missing him with almost physical heartache. He yearned to grab Dean and squeeze him till he squeaked, and maybe hug him too.

Castiel had given a lot of thought to his feelings about Gabriel since their first aborted kiss. He had realized that he cared for the archangel, very much. He should be grateful that Gabriel should feel as much for him, and he was. He only wished that he could show him how he really felt without his hang-ups getting in the way.

Dean wasn't thinking about much as he trotted obediently at Castiel's heals through the park. He had spent all last night, and several previous nights, pining for Sam. Now he was feeling spent. He had his master back to himself, but somehow that wasn't enough anymore. He had sat for hours gazing down at his oomphless mud-hood, lolling between his legs, pathetically muttering, "no more sucky, no more pokey" to himself. Oh, how he longed for Sam to give him humpy-pumpy again!

~xXx~

Gabriel spotted Castiel across the park and threw out his arms in welcome. At that same moment Sam caught the tantalizing perfume that was Dean's bodily odour drifting to him on the breeze. His dongle instantly sprang rigid as steel. Oh, how he ached to touch, taste and plumb his best, bestest... Dean!

Dean, scenting Sam, felt his bottom twitch with yearning, and his salami slapped against his stomach as his ramble picked up speed.

Simultaneously the two angels unleashed their pets and the pair of mud-monkeys surged forward. They galloped towards each other, wind tossing their hair, their swelling members hopeful. They crashed together like breakers striking the rocks, and tumbled to the ground in an intertwined mess of arms, legs and penises.

Moved by the muddies' wonderfully free expression of their emotions, Castiel stumbled into Gabriel's arms and the two angels melted into a kiss.

"Love is a beautiful thing," Gabriel murmured into Castiel's ear.

Castiel smiled and whispered back, "Love... is everything."

Gabriel thrust the big bouquet of lilies into his love's hands and fumbled in his pocket. Castiel had to chuckle. Lilies were kind of an ironic choice given recent events. Gabriel dropped onto one knee and opened the little box he had retrieved from his pocket. It contained a tastefully simple diamond ring.

"We should take a lesson from their example," he said, indicating the shamelessly overjoyed mud-monkeys frolicking nearby. "There's a lot of love going around. We should grab some while we can."

"Absotively-freakin'-posilutely" Castiel agreed, smiling as he let Gabriel slip the ring onto his finger.

Gabriel jumped up and popped a kiss on Castiel's lips. This time the angel didn't pull away, instead he grabbed the neat little archangel and scrushed their mouths together in a breath-stealingly furious embrace.

Gabriel's brain screamed, "Yahtzee!", as his senses were blown away.

~xXx~

Sam and Dean sat side by side at the hearth in Gabriel's condo gazing into the flickering flames. Suddenly Sam leaned sideways and licked a stripe across Dean's face. Dean opened his mouth in a shocked 'O', and wound up with Sam's tongue down his throat. At first he struggled against the totally rude and forbidden intrusion but then he succumbed.

When Sam withdrew his tongue, Dean gasped in shock.

"THAT," he yelped, "was so NOT good."

"Reckon that was VERY good, mudz," Sam opined with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

"THAT was freakin' kiss-kiss," Dean complained. "Kiss-kiss is NOT for muddies."

"Dude, you do kiss-kiss," Sam pointed out.

"With MASTER," Dean insisted. "Kiss-kiss is for muddies to show MASTER their love. NOT other freakin' MUDDIES."

Dean reckoned Sam must be pretty DAMN stupid if he didn't know THAT.

Sam pouted. "Muddies are totally great at show-love. What's not good 'bout that?" he demanded.

"Dude, you do NOT fake show-love with a muddie." Dean was exasperated.

"Not fakin'," Sam murmured quietly. "Not fakin', Dean. Love you."

Dean was stunned. "Jerk-ass," he exclaimed.

Dean knew that was not proper muddie talk, no way. But secretly Sam's admission had made him feel a strange kind of warm inside. Not that he was going to let Sam know it. After all, Dean was the Alpha in their relationship.

"So no more kiss-kiss?" Sam wheedled, snuffling at Dean's soft spiky hair.

Dean's resolve began to weaken. Kiss-kiss with Sam might be wrong, but it definitely wasn't so bad. Heck, truth was it was pretty damn good.

"Maybe when we're all alone," he allowed. "Sneaky."

"Sneaky sounds fun, mudz," Sam smirked, nuzzling up against him. "Now how 'bout some richard?"

Dean was ALWAYS up for some richard.

"What they doin' upstairs?" he asked, as Sam lined himself up for a perfect spot landing in his butt.

Sam leaned down, licked Dean's ear and whispered the answer.

"NO!" Dean responded in disbelief.

As if his master Castiel would do such a thing. But Sam knew HIS master Gabriel well enough to know better.

"Uh-huh," Sam insisted.

Dean pulled a face. "Ugh, gross! Ooph!"

~xXx~

While the two mud-monkeys got on with their own thing, something avian and ineffable was taking place upstairs. Two spiritual beings were preparing to unite as one.

Castiel held himself on his knees waiting expectantly to experience the joy that was angel joining. Tilting his unclothed body gently forwards and steadying himself with his hands, he fanned his diaphanous plumage and lifted his ghostlike wings as high as he was able.

Gabriel approached him from behind and folded his shadowy feathers aside, crawling onto Castiel's back. He grasped the soft curly hair on the back of the angel's head with his teeth, tugging gently.

They lined up their orifices and pressed them together in that peculiar coupling that was the heavenly cloacal kiss. The momentous culmination of their union brought a flash of effulgence followed swiftly by the thunderous boom of a sonic shock.

Castiel felt dizzy, his senses overcome with stimulation, all this while perfectly balanced on the ridge tiles of Gabriel's rooftop. Anyone would marvel at an angel's awesome equilibrium and lack of vertigo in this giddy position. They called it 'dovie style'.

Some neighbours wondered if an electrical storm had begun, but some simply smiled together knowingly.

Afterwards Castiel lay naked on Gabriel's bed, soft, smoky wings closed protectively around the cute little archangel curled up close to his body, his own furled tight against his back.

Gabriel sighed and flexed his plumy appendages lazily.

"Sweetie, that was awesome," said Castiel.

Gabriel winked naughtily. "You said it, babe."

~xXx~

That night Dean lay in his basket by the hearth, utterly contented. Who needed Urth anyways? He had everything he wanted right there, his belly full, his mock-tigerskin blanket beneath him and his back warm where his own Sam pressed his long, lean body against him, skin to skin. Poor Dolly lay on the carpet ejected.

Sam's hot, damp breath puffed on the scruff of Dean's neck and it felt good. The big muddie's arm was thrown across Dean's waist, his long fingers stroking sleepily at Dean's downy softie, like it was some shy little mouse. Dean wiggled his ass comfortably against Sam's groin, his derriere still feeling pleasantly 'enjoyed' after a happy couple hours mutual butt-secks, and he recalled...

After the butt-secks was done, Sam kneeled over Dean's prone form, his unkempt hair framing his manly face, and tilted his head, staring into Dean's eyes until the shorter mud-monkey felt uncomfortable.

"What?" he demanded, sharply.

"You're beautiful," Sam crooned. "Wanna kiss-kiss with you. Right now."

Dean knew he ought to feel bad about giving in to Sam's strange unmuddish hunger for lip contact, but something made him suddenly reckless.

"Go ahead," he said, squeezing his eyes shut and fisting his hands in his blanket.

Sam angled down and their lips met, tentatively at first and then with greater passion as their confidence blossomed. Dean allowed Sam to seize control of his mouth. He let go his blanket and wound his fingers in Sam's long, dark hair, pulling him closer still.

Dean reckoned that kissing was like eating a peach, a particularly luscious peach. Sam was a particularly luscious mudder and, for once, Dean thought he would rather have this even than food. He felt his toes curl and his breathing deepen as he got caught up in the overwhelming sensuality of it all. A strange fire, something almost angelic, flooded his heart. Wow! He hadn't even known a mud-monkey could feel that way.

He protested when Sam took his tongue out of his mouth and leaned back to search Dean's eyes for his reaction, finding them glazed and dewy. A faint smile flickered on Sam's lips and he lay down, enfolding Dean in his protecting arms.

"Love you, mudz," he murmured against Dean's neck, and in that instant Dean knew he was paired for life, and always...

Back in real time, Dean suddenly had the overpowering need to express something a normally closed-up mud-monkey, like himself, scarcely had the words to articulate.

In a hesitant whisper he breathed, "What you said before? Me too."

Behind him, Sam snored loudly.

~xXx~

And finally:

Dean and Sam and Castiel and Gabriel were all together for a VERY long time, a life time to a mud-monkey and quite a fling in immortal terms.

When Sam and Dean grew old and eventually 'ended' (because mud-monkeys are not immortal), for being REAL good they were sent to Earth. Automatically. There was no need for the mythical stork.

They were reborn as humans the natural way. First Dean then, an angel's wink later, Sam. And, of course, they did find each other. It wasn't hard because Gabriel made sure they were born into the self same family.

Castiel continued looking out for Dean, while Dean looked out for Sam, and Gabriel went right on finding them both one huge joke.

On Earth, Sam and Dean got to be together forever. So they could run and run and run, hunt lots of critters, and ride in a fast Impala with Sam's head out the window. All the fun stuff. Because they were free, for always.

Sort of.

But that's another story.

The End

A/N: So maybe this is AU or maybe it's a crazy canon prequel? ;) Either way it was wicked and I apologize profusely. But did you like it? You were totally disgusted? Then what were you doing reading right to the end? ;))