Just a random little one-shot rattling around my head with all the other stories, this happens before a story I'm going to be posting soon called Helping Hands. This is my first fic so be gentle.

Note! I'm keeping Optimus' pre-war name Optimus. I just like it better that way. Also I made a lil whups but thanks to DarkSirocco I fixed it, so MEGA THANKS! YOUR A BOSS!

klik- one earth minute

breem- fifteen earth minutes

orn- one earth hour

joor- 3 earth hours

cycle- one day(usually earth but generally means from one sunrise to the next)

lunar cycle- one month(same general rule as cycle)

stelar cycle- one year(same general rule as cycle)

vorn- 100 earth years

WARNING: Sticky interfacing, also mentions of sexual abuse. You have been warned so don't yell at me if you get freaked out.

I DON'T OWN A DAMN THING….

Steely's was dark and quiet. It was one of those off days where nobot was out and it looked like it might rain. The pub was filled with only the old familiars who came by even if they weren't drinking; Steely himself was sitting at a booth gambling with some friends. This was just the kind of environment Ratchet was hoping for.

It had been almost a lunar cycle since Optimus' "encounter" with his landlord and he was finally getting the mech back out into the world. He hadn't even known the mech a stellar cycle but they'd become close fast and he was concerned when the mech no longer showed up to drag him out of the clinic. Ratchet had come down to Steely's and found that the gruff old mech hadn't heard from or seen Optimus in a couple cycles and was beginning to worry. Ratchet had gotten his apartment code in hopes of finding the younger mech. What he'd found had made him furious and spark-broken. Optimus was curled in on himself, his face plate buried in his knees. Even in the dark Ratchet could tell his frame was beaten and battered, and looking around he could see the energon stains on the wash rack floor. It had taken every ounce of his patience, training and programming as a healer to get the broken mech to confess what had happened. Optimus had run out of credits, and with eviction hanging over his helm he had gone to his landlord for help. He wasn't prepared for the stout mech to demand his frame first. Before Optimus even had time to consider the landlord had simply thrown him down and forced himself on Optimus. Ratchet had just been thankful Optimus wasn't a virgin; at least he had some memory of pleasure to combat the pain. And it had been far less damaging to his physical body then if he still had his seals. Ratchet had refused to leave his side, working at Optimus' pace to repair his frame and comforting him through the memory fluxes. After about 5 cycles Optimus had began seeking out Ratchets comfort, no longer flinching or breaking down at the contact. And now, almost a lunar cycle later, Optimus finally felt strong enough to leave his apartment.

Ratchet had already warned Steely that Optimus had been hurt badly, ironically that attack had saved him from the fires that had consumed the docks he worked at, deactivating a dozen mechs and femmes. As they entered the dim pub Ratchet could feel his companion's hesitation, Steely nodded his greetings then called for the two to serve themselves. Optimus looked nervous but Ratchet simply turned a little and said: "there's a back corner booth open, go ahead and sit down while I grab some energon for us."

He kept an optic on the larger mech as he hurried his way over to the booth, then grabbed some high grade and headed over. The medic noticed the larger bot had relaxed a little as he recognized the familiar faces around them. Setting a cube down in front of him, Ratchet let the other mech control the outing, simply sipping from his cube and offering silent support. Finally Optimus seemed content that no one was staring at him or anything and started sipping from his own cube. Shifting slightly he turned and smiled gently at Ratchet.

"Thank you Ratch, I don't know what I would have done without your support." Ratchet looked away slightly embarrassed by the praise and started to protest he didn't do all that much when Optimus cut him off. "You seem to forget your importance my friend, most the mechs in the room owe you their lives."

"Hmph, they wouldn't if they'd all stop doing idiotic things for idiotic reasons. I'm just happy you agreed to come out tonight Optimus, I'm proud of you." It was Optimus' turn to duck his head in embarrassment, though he managed to chuckle and move a little closer, allowing their shoulders to touch. Ratchet didn't comment, although he did shift so his arm rested on the back of the booth by Optimus' shoulders, letting his fingers brush against red plating offering silent comfort. They settled down to idle chit chat about the investigations into who burned the docks down and how to best avoid the swarms of enforcers who were scouring the neighborhoods with the most dock workers living in them. After a few breems, Steely came over with a double round of high grade to chat. Ratchet thanked Primus Steely kept his glossae and didn't scold Optimus for worrying him. They talked about what they were all going to do with the docks closed, everything they got shipped in was going to be twice as expensive and everyone was beginning to freak.

"The slums are going to be the last shipments to get sent from the other cities, we're going to have to really ration until the docks get fixed." Steely sighed.

"It's going to take a long time, I'm guessing a couple stellar cycles. The powers that be won't be in too much of a hurry to spend their credits rebuilding the docks when they can still get all their luxuries." Optimus shook his helm sadly, taking a sip of his energon. "The mechs in charge of infrastructure won't lift a finger as long as the mechs who pay them are happy."

"What about all the mechs and femmes out of work while those blasted things are down? And what about the lives that underfunded clinics like mine won't be able to save because we don't get our Primus damned supplies in time?" Ratchet seethed. Steely swore lightly before excusing himself to respond to his designation being called from across the pub. "What are you going to do? There are no jobs here." Optimus just shrugged.

"I guess I'll just cross that bridge when I get to it." He then ground gears in the back of his vocalize in a snort, "At least my rent and utilities are paid for the next few lunar cycles." Ratchet muttered something obscene under his breath and his features darkened. Optimus quickly changed the subject to a game of cards which quickly evolved into a drinking game. As the night wore on and the orns passed the two friends became more and more over energized. The medic was ecstatic to hear his friend's happy laughs, there had been a few cycles where Ratchet was afraid Optimus wouldn't be able to pull himself up.

At Steely's suggestion they half walked half stumbled their way back to Optimus' apartment before they forgot where it was. They hurried past the landlord's apartment, Ratchet noticing the shudder and drop in mood in his friend. His depression and anxiety was almost palpable and Ratchets concern skyrocketed when Optimus involuntarily flinched when their shoulders bumped on the stairs. Once they got in to the taller mechs apartment Optimus immediately sank onto the worn couch shakily trying to cool his systems. All traces of the high grade had fled their systems and Ratchet knew he had to do something to help him. He knelt on the floor before the distraught mech, taking both the larger hands in his.

"Sh sh sh Optimus it's okay, I'm right here. Anything you need, I'm right here." The medic crooned softly until the other relaxed and nodded, leaning forward he rested his fore helm on Ratchets. They stayed like that for a few kliks and the air between them began to heat and change. Immediately recognizing it as arousal Ratchet moved to pull away, getting heated up by his friend would not help him heal. Optimus wouldn't let him though, squeezing his hands and forcing him to look into pure blue optics.

"Optimus, I know I promised that you would be able to bounce back and be with another but I don't want to rush you."

"I want to move on; I want to be able to walk into the building without having a break down. I want to be able to go outside again and be around other bots. I want to remember pleasure and desire instead of pain and fear. I refuse to live my life cowering in the face of cruel mechs with no care but for themselves." His voice had risen and grown determined and Ratchet was impressed with his drive.

"I know you're eager Optimus but it could backfire if you rush it." If Optimus was saying what Ratchet thought he was saying then Ratchet was in trouble. His physical attraction to the tall mech was not a surprise to him but he needed to control it, and with Optimus propositioning to him like he thought he was the white and red mech wasn't sure he could handle it.

"Please Ratch; you're the only mech I trust." Ratchet looked like he was going to say something but Optimus cut him off, his tone turning desperate. "Please Ratch! I-I need to know I can still feel like this! You said I would be okay so prove it! Prove that it won't hurt, that I won't break down into fits of rage and hysterics from having another frame close to me! That I can feel pleasure from someone when right now all I can remember is pain!" By now Optimus was once again shaking, his voice rising with emotion.

Drawing in a few intakes to steady himself, Ratchet tilted his face up and brushed the coolant tears that had dripped down his grey cheek plates. Stroking his fingers over cheek seams and seeing the hopeful look in the pained optics, he made his decision. Ratchet prayed to do right by his friend.

"If you're absolutely certain." Optimus nodded, maybe a little too quickly but nodded all the same. "Well alright then, I guess we should probably move to the berth; more comfortable and all."

Gently he took Optimus by the hand and led him around the couch to the berth, pulling the curtains closed to add another level of privacy. Laying him back against the soft surface, Ratchet kissed his fore helm reassuringly.

"Before we start let me get one thing straight. If you don't like anything I'm doing, want to take a break or even just want to stop completely tell me right away. This is about you, and we'll go at your pace." Optimus nodded again.

"I trust you Ratchet, please." Optimus relaxed as best he could. Continuing where he was, Ratchet kissed his cheeks, for helm, and jaw line. He kept feathering the kisses all over his face until there was only place left. Pulling back to make optic contact one last time, he pressed his lips against Optimus' in a chaste kiss. He sensed no discomfort so he continued, still keeping the kisses light and innocent. After a few astro seconds Optimus began to kiss back, shyly he ran his glossa along Ratchets bottom lip. Ratchet made a small noise of encouragement, and was rewarded by Optimus pressing a little harder. Ratchet parted his lips and was rewarded by a smooth glossa rushing into his mouth and tangling with his own. Ratchet brought his hand up to cup Optimus' cheek, stroking lightly. A quiet groan escaped the mech beneath him and reluctantly pulled away again to search the face cradled in his hand. Finding only nervousness and a slowly growing lust he leaned down and nibbled along the strong jaw, scraping his denta against it lightly. Ratchet continued down to suckle the cables in the strong neck. Sneakily he slid his hands down to heavy shoulders, finding seams and gaps in the plating he wiggled his fingers in to strum the sensitive wiring underneath. He was rewarded by a breathy moan from the frame under his.

Optimus pulled him back up from where Ratchet had been teasing wires between his neck and shoulder so that they could lock lips again. Ratchet could taste the need and fire that was now slowly coursing through his friend. Ratchet couldn't hold in a moan of his own as tentative digits found their way to the grey chevron framing Ratchets face and stroked it lightly. Pleased by the reaction, the digits were soon replaced by a hot mouth and Ratchet cried out in bliss. He allowed one hand to dance down Optimus' side, quickly dipping in between abdominal plating to tease circuitry, and finally resting on a hip strut. Optimus froze in the middle of stroking the tense cables in Ratchets neck and trembled slightly. Ratchet kept his hand there, but noticed Optimus had shuttered his bright optics.

"Optimus, open you optics, look at me sweet spark." He used his free hand to stroke the blue audio fins on the side of his friend's helm. Slowly, his optics unshuttered. "That's it, keep looking at me. You know I would never hurt you, and I'll never let anyone else hurt you. Tell me when you're ready to continue." Ratchet let his hand travel down the fin to ghost over a cheek seam and trace soft lips. Optimus started pressing kisses into the bright red hand, then making sure he had optic contact with Ratchet; he drew one finger into his mouth sucking on it gently.

"Frag! Optimus I don't think I'll be able to control myself if you keep that up." A flicker of mischief passed across the younger mechs features as he moved to the next cherry digit, he knew how sensitive medic's hands were. He teased it with his glossa, letting the low groan of pleasure distract him back to euphoria. Optimus was teasing the last digit when he finally groaned out.

"Keep going Ratch, please…" Ratchet groaned in response then continued stroking over the blue hip plating. Dipping in to the gap, Ratchet managed to pull a loud cry out of his lover as he rubbed sensitive cables. Reluctantly he pulled away from a heated kiss and traced the journey his hand had made. Nipping at wiring and spending a decent amount of time at the indent between Optimus' collar struts, Ratchet continued downwards. He went slowly; making sure every time he moved down Optimus was only feeling pleasure. Once he got down to tracing abdominal plates with his glossa Optimus began to writhe beneath him, moaning and gasping with each swipe.

"That's it Optimus, let go. I'm right here, you are safe." Ratchet mumbled into the smooth plating beneath his glossa and moving his hands down the rest just above the larger mech's knee joints.

Rubbing lean thighs, Ratchet cautiously kissed the interface panel beneath his face. Feeling the hitch in intake, the medic nuzzled against the panel and murmured wordless comforts. Optimus relaxed after a few moments and Ratchet continued his oral study of the interface panel. Once the writhing began again he became bolder. Licking into the seams around it and inhaling the sweet smell of lubricant.

"Open up Optimus," when he started to shudder again Ratchet pressed sweet kisses into the silver thighs. "Deep intakes sweetling, it'll be alright now." He continued kissing and teasing the insides of Optimus' thighs, listening as he tried to follow Ratchet's order and take deep intakes. A click drew Ratchet's attention away from the strong thighs to see the plating covering the upper half of the red and blue mech's interface equipment retract. Optimus' fear was the only keeping his spike still in it's housing.

"Good job, ready to continue, or do you need a klik?" Optimus was trying to steady himself and focus on Ratchet. This was Ratchet between his legs. This was Ratchet murmuring things into his plating. This was Ratchet, THIS WAS RATCHET. A small weight seemed to lift off his shoulders as he began to follow his thoughts. Ratchet would never hurt him, would never push him too far. Plus he'd always heard medics were the best lovers.

Suddenly he became aware of the strong strokes along his thighs and the kisses being pressed to his hip struts. After a klik he felt a warm gust of air from the red mech's intakes and realized they were feeding a fire that was burning its way through his frame. "Uhn, more Ratchet, please."

Ratchet felt his engine rev at the needy groan from the other mech and immediately went to work. Working his way from one hip strut he began to kiss and lick at Optimus' housing unit trying to coax out the impressive spike. He knew this was the best place to truly start since it had never been part of Optimus' assault. A low keen was his only warning as the spike slowly rose from it's housing, fully pressurized.

"Good job Optimus," even though he knew the answer he needed to ask to ease his own doubts. "Want me to continue or do you need another klik?" Nuzzled the large spike and pressed random kisses up and down its length waiting for Optimus to gather his wits enough to reply.

"I can't…uhhn...believe I have to…aahhh…tell you to keep going." Optimus felt a little vibration as Ratchet chuckled and couldn't help the moan that worked its way from the depths of his vocalizer. "Please Ratchet…mmmh…pl-please!"

Ratchet gave in to his friends pleading and slowly worked his lips down the spike, surrounding Optimus in wet heat. Keeping his movements agonizingly slow, Ratchet began bobbing his head up and down. Optimus' groans and pants became more frequent as the medic increased his suction a little, swirling his glossa around the tip on his way up. The white mech shifted slightly, and then lifted the larger mechs thighs to rest over his shoulders. Knowing this was as good a time as any Ratchet used the change in angle to trace over the lower half of Optimus' panel, right above his valve all the while continuing his working over of Optimus' spike. The larger mech was oblivious to the new touches even as the panel retracted, revealing his slowly lubricating valve. Wisely, Ratchet refrained from touching the valve just yet, wanting to push Optimus over the edge first. Continuing that thought he brought his hands up to play with the wires in slim hip joints. Quickening his movements and strumming the wires Ratchet could feel the heat burning through Optimus, could feel the twitching and jerking of that beautiful frame that signaled how close he was.

Optimus felt like Ratchet was trying to suck all his fear out through his spike and in all honesty it was working. He forgot the nervousness that had been dampening his arousal and with a shout of Ratchet's designation he overloaded. Waves of pleasure ripped through him and he swore for a moment he went blind as desire took over his basic functions.

Ratchet worked his throat cabling, draining the spike for the transfluid with in. He drew back a little to suckle the tip, trying to prolong the others pleasure. As Optimus' writhing calmed down Ratchet crawled back up to rest at his friend's side, pressing random kisses along his frame as he did so. Resting his hand on the broad chest plates he nuzzled up to the dark blue audio.

"You did so well sweet spark." Ratchet crooned, letting Optimus gather his wits. "This is all we have to do; we can stop right now if you want."

Optimus thought for a klik, his nervousness was back, but so was the warmth pooling in his tanks. He focused again on the normally gruff voice murmuring comforts, and the hand tracing fire over the glass windshield. Taking an intake to steady himself, he turned his helm and pulled Ratchet into a deep kiss. He groaned as he tasted himself on the others glossa, and shuddered at the groan in response. Reveling in his post overload haze, Optimus let his hands traverse the red and white frame snug against his.

Ratchet moaned out as large fingers buried in between plating and gently tugged on wiring. Somehow Optimus had guessed that Ratchet generally like it a little bit rougher than their current pace. Bringing his own hands into play he remade the journey across Optimus' frame, turning the blue and red mech into a moaning mass of barely restrained lust. Pulling back from soft lips, Ratchet looked into blue optics further darkened with lust. Keeping optic contact and searching for discomfort Ratchet circled the base of the quickly pressurizing spike, pumping it a few times before slowly traveling lower. Optimus froze, his intakes shaking as he tried to keep optic contact. Lust ridden dark blue flickered with cloudy gray and Ratchet realized Optimus was fighting against a memory flux.

"Stay with me Optimus, your safe you know I would never ever hurt you." He didn't move his hand from where it had cupped the sensor rich valve. A badly suppressed sob tore from the younger mechs vocal unit and Ratchets optics widened. He quickly tried to remove his hand, but strong fingers kept his hand in place. Optimus shook his helm, tears pooling in his optics. "It's okay love, this is still too soon. I don't want to hurt you; I won't force you or let you force yourself just because you're impatient. We have time, and when you're ready I'll still be here."

"NO!" Optimus ground out, sounding somewhere between agonized and frustrated. Ratchet frowned slightly but didn't try again to move his hand. Instead he wrapped his other arm around Optimus' shoulders and hugged him tightly. The grip on his hand disappeared and he felt a warm damp face nuzzle into his neck cabling. "I need to do this Ratch; you're not forcing me so please. Just do something for me."

Fluttering kisses across the blue helm Ratchet nodded. "Anything Optimus, whatever you need."

"Keep talking to me."

Ratchet nodded and kept up the almost wordless litany of comforts and praise. After five or six kliks Optimus relaxed and then moaned as Ratchet slowly started tracing the rim, gathering lubricants. Letting his voice become husky he heard the first moan slip from light grey lips. Pausing his murmurings here and there to kiss cheeks or fore helm the medic locked optics again before slowly pressing a single finger inside. Trembling, Optimus focused on the words flowing over him, trying to tie them with the now two fingers gently sliding in and out of his valve. Ratchet was going so slow, taking every moment to make sure Optimus only felt pleasure. Lubricant was dripping onto the berth and after almost five kliks Optimus was once again writhing and moaning, pushing back against the fingers.

"Alright, I'm going to open my panel. If you can't handle it, we'll wait." Optimus nodded and watched wearily as Ratchet's panel slid back, revealing a thick spike. He didn't move, keeping himself completely still until Optimus made a move. Said mech was taking deep intakes, sizing up Ratchets equipment. Tentatively he reached down and wrapped his hand around it beginning to stroke slowly, but still Ratchet didn't move.

"It's funny, for some reason this doesn't scare me half as bad as before. I don't know why seeing you is less scary than you seeing me." He continued stroking.

"I'm sure…aahhh…normally I could tell you…nnngh…why. Now though, not so much…haah oh Optimus!" Ratchet retaliated by quickening up his fingers. "Are you ready Optimus?"

"As I'll ever be." Ratchet removed his fingers and used the lubricant on his hand to coat his spike. Lining himself up, he looked up at Optimus again. "Keep talking Ratch, please."

"Tell me if you need a klik." He began pushing in, slowly, keeping constant watch for any sign of a memory flux starting. Optimus hugged Ratchet to him, trembling and taking more hard intakes. "You're so beautiful Optimus; I'll never let anyone hurt you. You'll always be safe with me." He paused once he was hilted within the others frame. He was surprised when Optimus looked him right in the optics and wrapped his legs around Ratchet's waist.

"It won't hurt Ratchet," the larger mech pulled the medic into a smoldering kiss, "show me it won't hurt." Ratchet nodded, slowly pulling out before rocking his hips back in. Keeping his pace slow and steady he continued his sweet words and took most of his pleasure from the look of bliss creeping onto Optimus' face.

"Always remember Optimus, this is what it should feel like." He nodded and Ratchet continued thrusting, loving the heat around him and the uncontrollable moans that were now tumbling from the other mech.

"Ratchet more please!" Optimus cried out, starting to buck his hips up to meet the medic's. He hadn't felt so good in cycles. He couldn't even think about anything except the wonderful feel of Ratchet moving within him, healing him inside the way he had healed him outside. He felt himself break free and knew he wouldn't last much longer. "Uhhn so-oo close!"

Ratchet sped up a little, swiveling his hips a little each time they were fully connected. The added stimulation pushed Optimus over and Ratchet leaned down to swallow the cries of overload. The tightness around him became unbearable and he burst. White flashed before his optics as he groaned and cried his overload into his lover. Panting from the overload he collapsed on the hot frame beneath him, his helm resting on a broad red shoulder.

For a while neither said a word, content to listen to the pings of their cooling systems. Ratchet went to move but large strong arms kept him there, buried in Optimus' valve. "Um, Optimus."

"Too comfy, I want to remember this comfort." Ratchet relaxed into the feel of Optimus' chest rumbling with his words. "Hey Ratch?"

"Yeah Optimus?" He pushed himself up a little to look at Optimus' face.

"What happens now? I mean, I know I'm not all the way healed yet. There is no way in the pit I could let any other mech this close; but I mean for us." He kept his tone light but Ratchet could sense the nervousness. He thought about it, his attraction to Optimus was definitely more physical but if it was what he wanted, the medic could handle jumping from close friends to partners.

"It's your choice Optimus, whatever you think is best for you."

"I liked the way we are now, just friends. Really close friends, but still friends." He smiled at Ratchet, and felt relief flow through him as Ratchet smiled and nodded back.

"I think that would be best too. I'll always care about you Optimus, that will never EVER change, but we'd drive each other crazy." Optimus chuckled and it again traveled through him, tickling his frame.

"I'm glad we agree. Hey Ratch?" The large mech asked again and Ratchet just grunted in response. "What would you have done if I'd said I wanted to be with you?"

"Heh, I don't know. I most likely would have said yes, and then seen where things went from there. But I think we've gotten about as close to love as friendship gets and that's just fine with me." Ratchet was finally allowed to pull out and roll over to his side. Looking back up at Optimus he noticed a funny look on the younger mechs face. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, I feel a lot lighter than I did before, especially after you said that." A brilliant smile lit his face even as his optics began to dim from tiredness. "Will you stay?"

"I'm proud of you Optimus, and of course I'll stay." The medic didn't think he could even make it back to his flat. Contentedly he snuggled up to the warm frame next to him and shuttered his optics. A slight chuckle from the other mech roused him again. "Care to share what's so funny?"

"Nothing, just thinking that the rumors were right." A questioning tilt of the helm nuzzled in his neck told him to continue, "Medics are the best lovers."

Ratchet laughed out loud, "of course we are, we know a bots body best after all." He pressed a kiss into the strong neck cabling and felt a kiss get pressed into the top of his helm. "Good night Optimus."

"Good night Ratchet." And for the first time since his life was turned upside down, Optimus recharged with out and fluxes.