School is about to start again and I'm painfully aware of the unfortunate assumption that I will not update very much, however I will try my hardest to get chapters out.

This isn't the typical chapter that I do in that there isn't an actual case here but I wouldn't necessarily consider this a filler chapter. I tried to hash out a couple of problem and flesh out a few others.

Also, for anyone who might've been wondering about Prentiss' birthday, I didn't forget I just didn't take her as a party-for-herself kind of gal.

Disclaimer: Criminal Minds belongs to The Mark Gordon Company, ABC Studios, and CBS Television Studios. I only own my OC and my plot.

Episodes featured in this chapter: none

December 20, 2010

Ally walked into her apartment after a very long day of Christmas shopping. So far, she had gotten almost everyone's present in order. The only gift she was missing was one for Spencer but she was determined to find the best present possible for him. Placing the bags next to the door, she walked into the kitchen for some water. She flipped the lights on before moving towards the fridge. Before she got there, however, she heard a noise from inside the living room. Grabbing the gun from the top shelf in a cupboard, Ally loaded it and walked slowly towards the noise. Turning in, she raised the gun only to be greeted by loud shouts of "Happy birthday!". A smile broke out on her face and she quickly disarmed the gun and put it off to the side.

"Happy birthday Super Girl." Garcia trotted up to her to pull her into a tight hug. Ally smiled her thank you and tried to push away the feeling of paranoia that had overcome her. Morgan attacked her next, even going so far as to pull her off the ground eliciting a few giggles from her. The hugs came easily until it got to Hotch but he surprised everyone by allowing Ally to pull him into a hug. Finally, she came to Spencer who was holding his arm as if in pain.

"Are you okay Spence?" He just smiled softly at her before opening his arms, not feeling confident enough to actually initiate the contact. Ally smiled into the hug and tightened her arms around the lanky man. The hug lasted for a few moments before the two pulled away, both with a slight tinge of red to their cheeks. Henry and Jack attacked her last, both jumping on her hard enough that she actually fell down. Will immediately came to the rescue and pulled the two off long enough that she could kneel and brace herself for the next onset of hugs. Smiling at the two, she glanced around the room and felt her heart clench and the fact that these people were willing to spend a Monday off awake.

The "party" quickly moved along, everyone mingling and telling stories about the holidays past and their plans for this one. Ally had situated herself on the couch between Rossi and Spencer with Henry on her lap while Jack ran around in a dance for Ally. Spencer had even relaxed enough to put his arm along the back of the couch. She noted with a smile that Spencer was wearing the replica of the 11th Doctor's bow tie that she had gotten him for his birthday. Jack suddenly jumped onto Ally again, forcing Henry to move over to Spencer's lap. Everyone smiled at the scene but Garcia saw the perfect opportunity and quickly snapped a picture of the couch. Garcia frowned at the thought that Rossi would still be in it but she felt like it would give her a better excuse to have it in her office if he was there too.

"Alright, time to eat!" Garcia shouted at the room and hustled into the kitchen where she had hidden all of the food.

"Is it just going to be cake again?" Jack asked Hotch, getting off Ally and moving to sit next to his father.

"Not this time kiddo." Rossi answered for him. "Garcia made dinner this time." He rolled his eyes at the groans. "I supervised."

"So long as it's not spaghetti, I'm game." Spencer nudged her with his knee causing her to mouth a 'what?' at him. Spencer opened his mouth to respond but he was cut off by Garcia barging in with the food in hand.

"Eggplant parmesan for you curious no-goers." Garcia told them before setting it down at the table. Surprisingly enough, the food was pretty good but everyone calked it up to Rossi's "supervision". The group hurried through the food and waited patiently for the cake. Spencer stood behind Ally and at Garcia's cue, covered her eyes with his hands. He could feel Ally's lips pull up into a smile and adopted one himself. After all of the candles were lit, Spencer lifted his hands and clapped and sang with the rest of the group when Ally went to blow out the candles. The cake was a miniature, edible version of the TARDIS from Doctor Who, complete with each Doctor lined up outside of it. Spencer was admittedly jealous of the cake but kept it to himself.

The celebration had started to wind down when Garcia made the proclamation that it was to be a girl's night and everyone had to stay over.

"Can I join?" Morgan asked with a sly smile.

"Only if you suddenly turned into a girl." Emily quipped, moving to take Henry from JJ so that she could get some cake too.

"I just might."

"You do not understand the implications of that statement, do you?" Ally cackled from the couch, still tucked in between Spencer and Rossi.

"Now, now Miss Thing, I'm sure you don't want me to prove how much of a man I am." Morgan turned towards her, ignoring the look that Spencer was giving him.

"I'm fairly positive my eyes would burn out of my head if you tried." Ally hid her face behind her hands.

"Daddy, what are they talking about?" Jack's innocent voice got everyone's attention.

"Just grown up stuff. I think it's time that we headed out anyways, it's way past your bedtime." Hotch grabbed both of their coats and moved over to the door while Jack hugged everyone good night.

"Rossi, shouldn't you get going too? I mean, it is past your bedtime after all." Ally ducked away from the swatting hand that was coming at her, pushing her closer to Spencer.

"Just for that, I will leave."

"Yeah, that's the reason why." This time Rossi did hit her. Rossi moved to stand beside Hotch at the door still waiting on Jack to finish his rounds. Once Jack got through everyone (giving an especially long hug to Ally) the two adults waved their goodbyes and took off into the night.

"We should probably get goin' too, Henry's practically dead on his fee'." Will announced roughly five minutes after the trio had left. JJ nodded, got Henry prepped for going outside, and hugged everyone goodnight, same as Jack. Will helped her with her coat before pulling Ally into a quick hug and waving at the rest of them. Morgan checked his watch and opened his mouth to say something.

"Don't even think about it sweet cheeks." Garcia said, snuggling further into his side on the loveseat.

"Wouldn't even dream of it." Morgan pecked the top of her head. Garcia suddenly bounded from the seat muttering something about entertainment. By this time Emily had found herself a place to sit on the recliner and Ally had stretched her legs along the couch, leaning into Spencer. With his permission of course. Looking up from his watch, Spencer met Morgan's eyes and was greeted by a wink. He quickly glanced anywhere other than at the man, wincing slightly from a dull pain that had started at the back of his head. Ally noticed the jerky movement and quickly looked up to make sure everything was okay, concern knitting her brows.

Before anything could be said on the matter, however, Garcia came back in with one arm filled with movies and the other carrying a bowl of popcorn.

"Crappy horror movie time." She announced with a smile, raising an eyebrow at Ally's position on the couch.

Boy was she going to get an earful of squeals from Garcia when this was all over. Three hours later, the boys had been kicked out of the apartment, laughing a bit at Garcia's theatrics. The three settled in on one couch in front of the TV and literally spent the entire night gossiping about other members of the Bureau and watching the worst horror movies they could get their hands on. All in all, it had been one of the most fantastic birthdays Ally had ever had.

January 10, 2011

The team had gotten together a couple of more times after that. Once for a Christmas party thrown by JJ and Will and a second time at a New Year's party thrown specifically by Jack. Everyone had smiled at the little handmade cards that Jack had handed out as invitations. Unfortunately, the break had to end sooner for some, namely Hotch and Ally. Strauss had called the two into a meeting, wanting to get as much information as she possibly could out of the two.

"Agent Jordan, Agent Hotchner, I called the two of you here today because of the issue of your probation." Strauss gave Ally a pointed look but said nothing after that. Ally started to twitch a bit in her seat, the increasing discomfort she was feeling was clearly visible to a trained eye like Hotch's but was thankfully undetectable by Strauss. Surprisingly enough, Ally had yet to look away from Strauss, maintaining eye contact even through her fidgeting.

"What about Agent Jordan's probation ma'am?" Hotch asked, trying to ease the tension for Ally.

"Well, since you asked Agent Hotchner," Ally rolled her eyes at that. "I don't believe she should be on it. Not at all." Ally's eyes widened significantly at that. "Oh no, I don't think she should be in a unit at all."

"Ma'am-" Strauss quickly cut off Hotch's statement.

"No Aaron. She deliberately went over my head, made me look like a fool to get assigned to that detail. And then the situation's compromised. Think about how that makes me look."

"With all due respect ma'am," Hotch had to bite down the smirk at Ally's immediate fight response. "I was approached by the Director of the FBI, a position which I'm more than positive outranks Section Chief. I in no way went over your head, if anyone did that it would be Director Mueller. Also, you were in no way related to the mission to take down Pichtas. It couldn't possibly reflect poorly on you, not to mention the fact that we did apprehend him which is far more important than one mistake."

"That 'one mistake' cost you the mission Agent Jordan."

"No ma'am, it didn't. Though the mistake may have ended with some casualties, we caught Pichtas. The mission never ended, it was only compromised."

"Those casualties came at your hand, who's to say you wouldn't do it again. Out there, with the BAU." Ally paled at the thought, the memories coming back in an instant except this time the faces were replaced by her team members.

"Ma'am, you and I both know that Agent Jordan is exceptional at what she does and we also know that it was not her fault that the mission was compromised. It's cruel to attempt to place that burden on her shoulders. As her Unit Chief, I would have come to you with any complaints if Agent Jordan had shown any sign of psychological disturbance out on the field but she hasn't. Also, as Section Chief, you technically do not have permission to dismiss Agent Jordan from the FBI, only the Director has that ability." Hotch glanced at Ally briefly before making and holding eye contact with Strauss.

"You never were good at being hard on anyone Aaron." Strauss attempted to give him a patronizing look.

"My team hasn't given me any reason to be." Hotch leveled her with a speculative look, one that Strauss knew well. Before he could profile her, she quickly ended the meeting but not without throwing a dirty look at Ally. He led her to his office, having her sit down so that they could talk.

"Thank you so much for that Hotch." She shot him an appreciative smile.

"You haven't done anything to deserve otherwise." Hotch answered in a soft(er than usual) voice. "But I do have some questions." At Ally's hesitant nod he continued. "What are you not saying about that mission?"

Ally legitimately had no idea how she was meant to respond to that question. There was a lot she hadn't told the team but that mainly revolved around her feelings the entire time. Any practical information she had already detailed to everybody.

"I've told you everything."

"I meant about you personally. There was obviously something that happened to you. You stopped putting anything into your coffee, your eyes are starting to sink in, no matter how much makeup you put on we can all see the bags, you fidget more, you constantly send looks over your shoulder, you smile more but you mean it less - as if you're trying to get everyone else to believe that you're perfectly fine, you constantly get a far-away look in your eyes." Ally took in a shuddering breath at the information Hotch had just laid at her feet.

"There was just a lot of stress involved, it was a long five months, a lot of that paranoia hasn't really been expelled yet." At Hotch's inquisitive stare, she kept going. "And then there's the whole survivor's guilt thing. I mean, I have no other explanation for it. I always think about why I didn't try harder, why I didn't fight for them like how I fought for myself." She looked down trying to blink back the tears but every time her eyes closed, she could see the faces of the men and women that she had left behind. She thought of their families, how heartbroken they probably were at the news of their loved ones' deaths. Her heart clenched over and over again at the thought.

"Agent Jordan, you are in no way responsible for the deaths of those people." Hotch's voice interrupted her reverie. "What happened has happened, there's no way to change the past but you do have to work through it. I remember you once told me that it gets better, remember that. It'll help you get through this." His small, encouraging smile at the end floored Ally. "You should probably get going, Garcia won't be happy about being left." Nodding, she headed for the door.

"Hotch." She called once she got there, making eye contact she said the most sincere thank you she had spoken to date.

Thank you to everyone out there favoriting and following, I see you. But really, I do get an e-mail telling me who's doing what and I'm massively appreciative of y'all.

Thank you for reading.