Or Whatever It Is You're Supposed To Say

Summery: Sometimes confessing is the only thing that helps, even if no ones on the other side.

Naruto watched the door close, waiting a moment to hear the running water of the shower before rushing to grab discarded items of clothing, not caring if they were his or not. He slipped on his jeans as quickly and quietly as he could, not bothering to button or zip the clothing properly, thus leaving the garment sagging on his hips. The large button-down shirt he grabbed wasn't his, but nonetheless he made sloppy work of the buttons, missing a few and getting most, but over all covering. He reached for a stained hoodie on the floor, resting next to a pair of forgotten khakis and in a swift moment decision, dove for the pockets, emptying all cash and plastic before stealing a pair of too big flip-flops from under the bed. Turning to the attached bathroom door he decided that it was safe and slipped out the bedroom under the sound of the shower.

Closing the front door as softly as possible, Naruto took a deep breath, preparing himself before his legs started moving. He sprinted down the street, uncaring about the people out on a Monday afternoon, the slippery leaves on the ground, or the cold weather of fall that chilled his nearly bare feet and thinly covered arms. He roughly knew where he was running to – Fifth Street, across from the computer café – but had no idea why. He didn't know if it was instinct of sorts, or just desperation, but he ran faster along the concrete pavement of the sidewalk, challenging the cars on the road to a race of speed that he was losing. Running for fifteen or twenty minutes before stopping abruptly at the sidewalk corner, looking at the clean white building across the road, wondering how he never had been in there before.

Leaning against the light pool, he caught his breath while waiting for the red hand sign to morph into the little green man that Okayed him to continue. It took several minutes. Long, teasing minutes that had Naruto's stomach coiling and knotting in anxiety. With every passing second his inner voice told him to turn back, to just walk back to that house and accept the fact, but as people gathered around him, using them as his buffer to stay, telling himself he couldn't turn back with people surrounding him. Stupid but effective.

After another minute of torture the hand blinked green and the small crowed helps Naruto move his feet and successfully crossed the white lines painted on the asphalt. People continue on pass him as he froze, looking up at the high pointing roof of painted gold that seemingly led to the Heaven that was preached. It was intimidating. Naruto took a deep breath to calm his nerves and slowly started marching up the stairs. He made it to the large double doors. They were painted royal blue, thin silver carved into a beautiful pattern of swirls and twist. Colorful stain glass stood out above the dark color of the door. A light picture of a gold sun cross shown at the top.

Naruto quickly made a grab at the brass handles of the door, not wanting to hesitate. Pulling the heavy doors open Naruto was introduced to a large, dim lit room. Colored glass laminated the long rows of old wood pews that lined the carpeted walkway to the raised platform. Naruto walked down the mostly emptied assembly hall until he reached the end of the rows at the platform, looking left then right to see a hallway. He ventured down it, passing a few doors, some labeled and some not, until he reached the end of the hall, seeing the tall wooden boxes he was searching for. He opened the door on the left as he had seen on TV and sat it the on the little wooden chair. He looked to the wicker panel beside him, the other side covered in purple velvet that prevented him from seeing who was on the other side.

He sighed heavily, hands kneeing at his lose pants legs as he thought. "Forgive me Father, I've sinned." He recited with closed eyes. He shook his head with a dry chuckle. "Or whatever it is you're supposed to say. Sorry, I never did this before." Naruto looked at the panel but the Father said nothing. "Um, I goggled this before, so I have a bit of an idea of how this works. Uhh…it has been, well, I've never done this before so my last confession was never. My sin..." Naruto fell quiet; he dragged a hand over his face to prolong what he hand to say. "I'm gay – but before you say anything, no you can't fix me. I had a friend who went to a gay camp and he was fuc- messed up when he came home. So, I'm gay, and I lost my virginity today. He was older than me, I'm not sure who he was but he told me he was a teacher so I know he was too old for me. The point is I slept with an older man who I thought I liked right away and when it was over, I didn't like him anymore and I left." He sighed sadly, slumping in his seat and continuing quickly. "It's like, I'm not sad it happened – just sad it happened with him. With someone I didn't want to stay with afterwards." Running a hand through his knotted hair and looking up at the tightly spaced ceiling, he laughed. "I even robbed him. Don't know why, but I felt like he deserved it." Looking at the silent screen, he frowned, shaking his head. "I'm a pretty bad person, huh? You probably had a heart attack or something by listening to me…or no one's in there. Its empty isn't it?" He stood up, adjusting his jeans and shirt properly. "Oh well, I feel better actually. I guess just talking about it helped." He dug his hand into his back pocket and pulled out a few crumpled bills. "Um, I don't know how this really works. If you're in there…well, I'm tipping so don't spend it all in one place." He held the wrinkled money in front of the screen to show the person who may or not have been there before placing it on the chair. "Thank you Father."

The sound of splashing water filled the small room. Splashing caused by Sakura's moving legs. She was resting back in the old bare claw tub, filled to the brim with lukewarm water and aroma bubbles.

Naruto sat on the counter sink, staring into the slightly fogged mirror that reflected the tub behind him. The shower curtains drawn, only giving Naruto the view of Sakura's feet and some calves, and when Sakura would allow it, her face. Hiding the girl's modesty from his eyes.

"So you really did it?" She ask, her feet sliding up the rim of the tub and curling her toes at the cold air.

Naruto stays quiet, lifting his legs up onto the sink and crossing them. He absently drew his finger through the moister on the mirror of little stick figures. He nods. "Yeah."

"So was it any good?"

Naruto drew an X through the taller stick figure before flatting his hand and wiping it through the misty mirror, erasing the little picture he had drawn.

"I guess."

Sakura scoffs, smacking the certain. "That's not a real answer, damn it. Did it feel good or not?"

"It felt good," Naruto smudges his thumb over the mirror. "…but I didn't feel good afterwards."

The curtain drew back quickly showing her puppy eyed face. "You're sad about swiping your V-Card, aren't you?" She rolls in the tub when Naruto didn't answer and holds her arm out open. "Come here right now. You need a hug."

"I don't need a hug-"

"You need a hug!"

Naruto drawls out a long, loud sigh before forcing himself off the counter and kneels by the tub where Sakura's arms instantly wrapped around his neck.

"I, Sakura Haruno, hereby reinforce your virginity with my awesome powers of epicness." She pulls him closer and gives a small peck on his forehead.

Naruto broke out of her hold with an eye roll. "I don't think it works that way." He closes the shower curtain, cutting off whatever Sakura was about to say.

He sat on the top of the monkey bars, staring at the dead trees in front of him as music blast loudly in his ear. He could turn around; could have sat facing the not-yet-frozen duck pound on the other side of the park. But he didn't. Instead he just turned his music up louder, fazing out with the strumming of acoustic guitar.

He hated fall.

Ducks flew over head, their quacks momentarily drowning out the singer's voice that was directly in his ear. As the flock seemingly grows larger and noisier Naruto turned down the little device, deciding he didn't want to damage his eardrums.

"Aren't you too old to be playing on monkey bars?" Ask the young man leaning against the foot of the base. Naruto rolls his eyes.

"Aren't you getting tired of stalking me yet?"

"I'm not stalking you, idiot." Sasuke grumbles beneath him. "I'm just pointing out that your fat-ass shouldn't be sitting on children' play sets."

"Bastard."

Sasuke, ignoring his own words, climbs up and sits beside Naruto, but instead, looks out at the small body of water on the other side.

"So what do you think of Itachi?" Sakura asks, dropping the magazine she was pretending to read. She was lying on her stomach, elbows propping up her head from her perch on the bed.

Naruto gazes at her from the floor before sneering quietly. "I thought you liked Sasuke?"

"Sasuke's a lost cause."

"So you're gonna do his brother?"

Sakura shot up onto her knees and throws her reading at Naruto. It misses. "No you asshole, I'm not going to 'do him'. I was just asking what you think of him."

"He's the brother to the Bastard, so my opinion of Itachi is biased." He tells her and threw her magazine back on the bed. "Why the sudden interest in Itachi anyway?"

Sakura moves to the edge of the bed so that her feet touche the floor. "I don't know. Talked to him the other day, seemed nice." She put her hands on Naruto's shoulders, halfheartedly dragging him to sit in between her legs and rest his head on her stomach. "And it's not like I'm doing anything to get back at Sasuke-"

"Get back at him for what?"

"-But Sasuke was just a childhood crush that I have grown out of long ago."

Naruto hums, not bothering to reply when Sakura starts to massage his scalp.

Sitting up Naruto glances at the unfamiliar alarm clock on the bedside table. It was late at night, or far too early in the morning. He checks back down to the man sleeping beside him. He was older then Naruto, by almost ten years or so, with strawberry blonde shoulder length hair, brown eyes, and darker skin. Naruto doesn't know his name. He never bother to ask. All he knew is that when they stumbled into the man's bed, Naruto had found him attractive, and now, he has no idea why he even set his eyes on him.

Naruto carefully gets out of bed, being sure not to wake his soon-to-be forgotten sleeping partner. Cold air makes the hairs on his body stiffen but he ignores it in favor of finding his clothes. There was no rush this time since Naruto doubt that the other man would be waking up soon if he was careful. Once he has all his garment items he carefully makes way to the bathroom a few rooms down, not daring to turn on any lights for help.

Once in the bathroom Naruto carefully close the door. Enough so one couldn't see inside, but not enough so that it actually made any noise. He turns on the over sink light and looks at himself in the mirror. It's not a pretty sight. Hair knotted in an unexplained way, small bite marks litter his neck and chest, and the sticky leaves of sweat. He grabs a washcloth from beside the sink a quietly begins to give himself a sponge bath, not wanting to use the shower in case it wake Mr. Biter.

Naruto threw the sticky cinnamon wrapper in the trashcan on the street corner, right in front of the church on Fifth Street. It was morning, still early, but Naruto had stop to grab food on his way there, trying to waste a bit of time, not knowing if church doors were locked at night or when they open. It's Saturday and most people are at home sleeping in, save for the few unlucky souls still on the way to work. Naruto vaguely wonders if the Fathers of the church ever gets the day off but can't bring himself to care.

He walks the stairs up to the double doors and feels nothing, and it's then that Naruto thinks this should be more awkward, but it isn't. He just casually walks through the church, not even having to look until he makes it to the confessional box. He opens the door to the same box as last time and the first thing he notices is that his tip left behind from last time is gone, and it makes him laugh under his breath.

"Well, forgive me Father. I have sinned. It has been-" Naruto pulls his phone out of his pocket and checks the time. "Four – no! Five days since my last confessional. I have again, slept with an older man that I left in the morning…"

The broom in his palms feels harder than usual and Naruto blushes at the absurd sexual thought that had just past through his mind. He's at work at the moment though, so he quickly gets control of himself. He works at a little family own restaurant. It's not great, very small and dingy but at least he can take pride in the fact that the place is clean because that is his job. It doesn't pay well, just enough for bills, food, and necessities. Not enough for school, though Naruto already decided that college wasn't for him, no matter how much Sakura disagrees.

It's a little after the lunch rush, but for them the lunch rush is some where between five to seven people eating at the same time. Naruto likes the lunch rush. He mainly kept around for cleaning but his boss is lazy and has a hangover quite often which means she sends Naruto to wait on tables. He doesn't mind a few tips, it helps.

Naruto is cleaning off the latest empty table when the bell above the door jingles. He's about to greet the person but when he sees Sasuke there, he stops and scowls instead.

"What do you think you're doing here?" Naruto ask as he walks up to Sasuke who stays leaning on the framework. He didn't offer Sasuke a menu or ask if he wanted a table or booth because he knew Sasuke better than that. Sasuke doesn't eat at cheap little restaurants like the one Naruto works for. He was raised better than that, or as Naruto likes to put it, brain washed. He scared of the quality of meat and the freshness of vegetables at small shops, and it annoys the hell out of Naruto.

"It's your lunch break," Sasuke informs Naruto even though Naruto's break isn't for another forty minutes. "Get your coat."

Naruto clings his coat closer to his body as Sasuke's car made another loud jerk. The boy comes from a higher up family but they weren't willing to help pay for a car since it wasn't something they thought Sasuke needed, so Sasuke had to buy a rather old and dangerous 81-Camry. It could be nice, if Sasuke knew anything about cars, but he doesn't. He also has too much pride to take it to a shop or even let friends look at it. Instead Sasuke just deals with the not working heater, unaligned wheels, and whatever else is wrong with the car. Naruto can't stand it.

"So where are we going?" Naruto ask but again Sasuke won't answer. It is one of the hundreds of things that annoy Naruto about Sasuke.

Sitting back Naruto rest against the uncomfortable car seat and huddles closer into his self for warmth, deciding to just enjoy the quiet ride as much as he can. They drive for a few minutes before Sasuke pulls up to the empty park. Without a word Sasuke reaches for a plastic bag from the back seat and gets out of the car, heading for the monkey bars and Naruto follows a few steps behind.

Naruto sits facing the dying trees while Sasuke takes his side at the water front, both sharing vending machine snacks that Sasuke had brought.

Naruto's apartment is not big. In fact it's a small studio apartment with a tiny bathroom; but he likes to think of it as comfortable. He's on the second to top floor and at the end of the hall with only an old man living next to him, so his room tends to be quiet. So it's for this reason that he allows Sakura and Ino over to study before big exams. It may be a little tight but it means that help is never too far away.

Naruto sits on the little window counter that separates his kitchen area from his living and bed. Ino is already lying on his bed with several books and Sakura is crams onto the love seat not that far away. While the two go back and forth asking and answering trivia questions that Naruto can't understand. He sits there with a cup of ramen that is becoming cold and watches them. They're smarter than him, that's for sure.

Sometimes Naruto feels left out in his group of friends. Sakura is studying to become a doctor in internal medicine and Ino is practicing in pediatrics. Sasuke in international business. Hinata social science. Shikamaru computer engineering. Hell, even Kiba was getting an degree in animal training.

Naruto sweeps floors and wipes tables for a living.

He leane back on the bench and tucks his hands behind his head. He glances at the wicker screen that was draped with dark velvet. He had still never heard a reply.

"Well then," Naruto has a teasing grin. "You must either be really bored with me or are waiting for more. I'm gonna go for more."

This is Naruto's third visit this week. Every time he has gone he had never heard a single word be uttered from the other side of that velvet. Though he thought he came here looking for wisdom and guidance, the truth was he liked the idea of the room next to him being empty, but likes the idea of the Father accepting silence more. He has confessed so much to that wicker and velvet screen. He has told them the story of his pranks as a child, first crush on a boy, the time Kiba and him had tried a joint, when his uncle died and he was forced to start working, and even the beer he had last night that he was still not old enough to drink.

"Just last week I got into another fight with Sasuke. He's such a dick. I don't care what Sakura says, I am not his friend and am most defiantly not his best friends. Never…"

The strobe lights match the beat of the music, flashing the dark room to varying colors every second. Naruto has a glass bottle in his hand and he holds it up above his head to keep it from spilling on the heavy dance floor. He rocks back and fourth with the crowd, finding it easier to dance his way through the maze of people than walk between them. He can feel sticky hot flesh of people he didn't know as they dance and grind close to him.

He makes it out of the dance floor and to the bar where he flash his fake ID and orders another drink before finishing off the one he already has. He decides to stand leaning against the bar instead of sitting. If he sat, he would drink more, and Naruto fells like remembering tomorrow.

In the laminated darkness a man approach him. He smiles down at Naruto and gave his overly cheesy pickup line which makes Naruto smile. He crosse his arms onto the bar and hovers over Naruto. "Are you old enough to be in here?"

"Well, how else would I be?" Naruto shoots back taking a swig of his beer. The man smirks at him and Naruto can't help but think he has a sexy face, green eyes, framed with dark curly hair and a cute little mole above his lip.

"True, true." The cute mole agrees before ordering a drink and sitting down. Naruto decides to join him. "So, you got a boyfriend?"

Naruto smiles.

"It was actually all the bastard's fault. He always had to push my buttons growing up by being so damn perfect and stuff. It's amazing I hadn't snapped sooner, you know?" Naruto rubs his chin in false thought. "Okay, well maybe some of those times were my fault – to an extent – but if that jackass knew how to take better care of himself I wouldn't have to step in. He nags me all the time for eating ramen too much but then half the time he eats just a tomato for lunch. He's an addict I think. Same thing with ketchup, puts it on everything. Hell, I've seen him just eat it from the little plastic packs before. Now that's gross. And he says me slurping my noodles too loud is nasty. Did you know Japan you're suppose to do that? I'm just sticking to tradition."

Naruto nervously taps his foot under the table. He was dressed somewhat nicely in a buttoned shirt and clean jeans, upon Sakura's request. With them was also Ino and Hinata. They were all currently sitting at a little booth at the restaurant Naruto works for. It's his break and Sakura thought that the restaurant would be the perfect place for her to formally introduce her 'math tutor' – also known as the bastard's brother – as her something more than.

Naruto wants to roll his eyes.

Lunch was going to suck.

Along with the rest of the week.

It felt as if nothing has gone right in days. Nothing being only getting one tip in three days, Sasuke not bringing him a free lunch, and the confessionals being locked the last time he stopped by the church. He knew it sound petty and silly but Naruto has the urge to just sit in bed and pout like the child he still wishes to be. But he can't. He needs to work since no one is there to help. He needs to get his own meals since he can't rely on others forever. The hardest truth to face of all might be that the world doesn't revolve around him and his wants. The confessionals may not be there just because he chooses it.

The little bell above the door clings and the girls stop gossiping to look at the door, where Itachi stands. He sees the table, waves, and slowly make his way to them while Ino tease Sakura about the blush on her cheeks. Itachi sits down across from Naruto, right beside Sakura, and gives the boy a slight nod before slinging his arm around Sakura's shoulder.

"Naruto," Itachi greet. "It's been awhile."

"Really? I haven't noticed." Naruto says back while playing with the ice in his drink. Sakura gives him a glare and Ino kicks at him from under the table, but Itachi just looks the same.

"Yes, in fact," Itachi wound his bag off his should. He digs inside and fishes out a paper bag with Naruto's name on it in familiar hand writing. "Sasuke said to give you this." Itachi hands him the bag. He takes a quick glance inside to see their usual lunch and almost smiled.

For the rest of his break Naruto sits silently with Itachi while the girls laugh and talk. The story of Itachi asking Sakura out was told and how Sakura developed her crush. By the end of it, Naruto starts to feel better.

Almost.

Naruto has gotten used to Itachi picking Sakura up for lunch and bringing her to eat at his work place. Naruto was also getting used to being their waiter. So after the fifth day, Naruto was shook to find Sasuke waiting by the door for him, instead of the newly couple.

"Haven't seen you in awhile." Naruto says as he replaces the menus at the greeting station. "Do you want a table?"

Sasuke stares him down. "Just take your break and let's go." Hands in his pockets, Sasuke begins to turn around and leave.

"I can't."

Sasuke stops. He looks over his shoulder at Naruto and sneer. "And why not?" He ask rudely.

Naruto, not liking Sasuke's tone, gives a small glare and cross his arms over his chest. "I'm working floors right now and in case you can't tell, we do have customers." He nod to the far wall were an elderly couple is eating slowly. "And I'm the only one here besides the cook so I need to be here."

"And Tsunade? Jiraiya? Where are they?" Sasuke turns back around to glare at Naruto.

Naruto tries to hide the roll of his eyes. "Not here, obviously." He sees the old man wave for him and Naruto is already on his way to the table to help. When he went behind the breakfast counter to refill the couples' drinks, Sasuke follows, taking a seat at one of the old bar stools.

"Why are they not here?" Irritation obvious in Sasuke voice but Naruto ignores it. The blond refills the glass and was with the old couple once again. "Well?" Sasuke asks loudly, making Naruto frown. "This is your break hour, so why would they leave?"

"They aren't here because we all figured you weren't going to come today." Naruto tells him. "And this is not my break hour, my break isn't for another hour, the only reason I take my lunch now is because you force me to."

"I don't force you." Sasuke growls with building anger. "You take early breaks because you want to."

Naruto crosses his arms. "Don't tell me what I want, Uchiha." An unattractive sneer on his tan face. "Why am I even arguing with you? I have work to do."

Sasuke gets up from the stool he was sitting on and with hands in his pockets stomps out, slamming the door and mumbling a "Whatever."

Naruto sighs, pissed off by the little exchange and slams the plates he had on the counter. He heard the sound of glass cracking and looks to see that one of the plates broken.

"God damn Uchiha asshole." He utter darkly. "This comes out of my pay."

He sits in his little apartment, bundled in a den of blankets. It's winter now, with snow building on the ground and the lake at the park now completely frozen. Heating is expensive, and Naruto has just barely enough, but he doesn't spend it. Rather, he just buys some covers from good will and puts the money in a bank. He saving now, for a dream place, somewhere warmer, maybe with palm trees. Even though he will change his mind once the snow's melts and spend that saved money on a big dinner and a movie or game.

Sakura gets mad at him a lot in the winter. Her doctor instincts kick in and she lectures him about getting sick but he's learnt to drown that out back in high school. He really only sees her now when he's at work, and she's more concerned about Itachi than him, so he doesn't get lectured as much. He really only goes to work right now seeing as how he hates the cold. He eats his lunches at work, indoors with the cooks instead of Sasuke, who hasn't come by once since their fight. He stops going out at night because it's twice as cold and he finds the excuse that he can buy his warm home paradise sooner by forgoing the bars. He's only been to the confessional twice since winter started. He hadn't slept with anyone, a result of not going out anymore, but he fears that if he stops visiting the quiet Father behind the wicker screen will soon forget him.

He shivers and hears the old man next door coughing from the cold.

Naruto can't wait for his warm dream place with the maybe palm trees.

Itachi tends to leave him large tips. Like, much too large, tips. Like, double the bill, tips. Naruto confronted Itachi before, but Sakura had gotten mad at him and told him to just take the money, but he doesn't. He gives it to the homeless man that takes shelter in their ally. Naruto tells him to use it for food and warmth, but the man always reeks of alcohol instead, so Naruto assumes he doesn't listen.

The point of this though is that Naruto is used to getting big tips from Itachi, but he is not used to seeing that tied plastic bag that he can kind of see through and there are the vending machine lunch inside. Naruto is so shocked that he just stares at the bag. He doesn't want to touch it, but he has to, since his tip and the bill are under it, but Naruto fears that if he touches that bag then, well, he doesn't know what will happen; but then again, he doesn't want to find out.

The cook in the back yells for Naruto hurry his damn ass up and clear the table. Naruto ignores Jiraiya laughing at him in the corner and practically pushes the bag off the table. It falls on the old carpeted floor and Naruto grabs his money, shoving it into the front pocket of the blue apron he has to wear, and then proceeds to remove the dirty dishes from the table to the equally dirty plastic bin with soap water. When he's done and the dishes are back with the cook, Naruto ventures back for the bag. It's been moved, by Jiraiya, and is sitting at the counter bar. He's still weary of it, for all he knows Itachi could have poisoned it.

Not caring about how badly he was humiliating himself, Naruto had grabbed several forks from under the bar and taped the together to create a flimsy pole. He stood back as far as he could and poked at the bag until one of the points from the head fork made a small hole. He force the pole of forks down quickly to rip the bag open, and though it works, the pole had come undone in the process. Miniature bags of chips, candy bars, and bottle sodas spill out, along with a folded slip of notebook paper. Naruto carefully picks up the paper, unfolds it, and recognize Sasuke's hand writing. He scowls at the note, crumples it into a ball and throws it on the ground before taking it a step farther and stomping on it.

"If you want to eat lunch with me so bad, come tell me yourself!" He yells, hoping that wherever he was, Sasuke would hear him. He picks up the food, deciding he didn't want any of it and would give to the man outside but just as he was at the back door he heard his boss's shrill voice screaming a mess and her husband full hearty laugh.

It seemed like so long ago but in reality it was only a little over two months. Naruto sits perched up on the bathroom sink, playing with the fog in the mirror and listening to Sakura's body moving in the water. Questioning himself, is he actually happy anymore. In two months he lost so much. His virginity, to that old teacher whose face had been forgotten. Sakura, it felt like, as almost all her time was spent with Itachi now. His self-respect after waking to two other people in his bed. And well, he had all but lost Sasuke.

The only thing it felt like he hasn't lost was the confessional with the wicker screen and dark velvet. He still has never gotten an answer from his unknown Father, but Naruto felt that somewhere he couldn't see, when he was in the box, God was listening and that was the most he should ask for. An ear to talk to. An unbiased score that would let him rant on and on without any interruptions.

"Naruto," Sakura's dainty voice calls him softly from behind the curtain. Naruto makes a noise to let her know he's listening, but in reality, his mind is still drifting. "Are you okay?" She ask, pulling back the curtains to look at him. Drawing in the mirror still, this time of dead trees, a frozen lake, and a set of monkey bars in between them.

"Yeah, Sakura." He drew on little stick figure with stupid hair sitting on the bars. "I'm just fine."

It's darker than usual today. Both outside and in. Negatively effecting his mood, bringing him down with some kind of depression. It's raining outside, hard. Cold water cleaning away the snow from sidewalks. Naruto doesn't have an umbrella. He's dripping wet and cold and he's already starting to sniffle but he can't afford to get sick right now.

He's in the confessional, but he has nothing to say. He can hear the voices of people roaming the hall, echoing off the walls back to him and feels like his space is being violated. For the first time he is reminded that he is not alone here, people work here, Fathers and Sisters, and the people that come to pray, for dying love ones and injured friends, and then here he is, hogging the box so he can talk about his nothing problems as if he were with his best friend.

He feels selfish, like a deviant, and before uttering a single word in his visit Naruto stands up and quickly leaves. He walks as fast as he can through the dim halls and hears their voices, the voices of people here for good cause and he wants to run but can't for it will echo steps too loudly in his own ears. He can see the doors and pushes them open before sprinting down the steps and into the rain impelling down on and he feels judged. He keeps sprinting as fast as he can, no idea where he's going and his feet slip every now and again on the wet pavement. The sidewalks clear of people and the road free of cars and it dons on Naruto that it's a Monday afternoon, reflecting the day that he had first gone to confession and developed this selfish life style he had become accustom to; the irony of it makes him want to yell and scream, and cry until his throat hurts and his eyes are dry.

He stops, looking at the house in front of him, the house were it started with the teacher he couldn't remember and the wallet he had stolen back in fall. Can see her in the window, the most beautiful woman with amber locks bouncing the sweetest child in her lap.

He turns around, slowly walking to his little studio apartment that has no heat with a new forming leak on the ceiling. Oh, the irony, is all he can think.

He doesn't know if its rain or tears streaming down his face.

Seeing him now Naruto think he's unattractive. In fact, a little gross. And that mole, right above his lip, how did he find that cute? The little hair growing from the lumpy texture. Naruto holds down his stomach when he thinks in all those kisses he had probably had that in his mole in his mouth. The dark curly hair that Naruto had ran his fingers through all night looked greasy and unclean. Those eyes, they weren't the same green he remembers back at the club, were dull and resembled closer to brown.

How did he ever sleep with this man, is all Naruto can think.

Naruto hadn't planed on seeing this man again, but here he is, yelling and throwing things in the middle of the restaurant, calling Naruto every vile name he can think of and weeping about the fake number Naruto had given him so that they wouldn't meet again. Funny, it backfired.

He marches over to Naruto, arms waving in the air and a fist that looks ready to strike but it instead grabs the collar of Naruto's Tee-shirt. He can see it. The pocket knife in the other hand of this hysterical man who tells Naruto he done wrong. He's scared and as if everything that has happened wasn't punishment enough he's now going to die. This guy is going to stab him in the heart or slit his throat, or gouge out his eyes or something.

Then Itachi is there. It was nothing more than a flash as the man was knocked out, lying still on the old carpeted ground. Sakura is at his side asking if he's alright, what happened, should she call the police. When Itachi puts both his hands on Naruto's shoulders is when he notices that he's shaking. He's breaking down again and the floodgates are open and his knees decide it's time to give out. From the floor, resting against the restaurant bar he spills everything that he's keeping from them. He spills everything that only that empty confessional has heard.

He starts to feel a little better until Sakura slaps him.

It's Wednesday, because if he showed up again on a Monday he would have looked stupid. He walks up the stone stairs that lead to those large blue doors with the silver carvings and gold stain glass. The sun is out today and it feels warmer then it should for the month there are still in. Birds chirp and the people are about. It's a new, fresh, better day. He opens those large doors and walks down the same aisle of benches before hanging a left and heading for the box he is oh so familiar with.

He sits down quietly, straightens out the wrinkles in his pants and inhales deeply.

"Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been nine days since my last confession, and my sin is…I've hurt a lot of people close to me, with my own selfishness." He bites his bottom lip and looks at the wicker screen with that dark velvet and he knows that it's safe. That he can tell this Father anything, because he already has before. "I don't know if that counts a sin or not, but I feel really guilty. I mean, my friends have been worried sick about me and I've just ignored them. And this guy, he really liked me and I just upped and left and didn't think about his feelings what so ever. And…and I want to start living a better life, one which I'm not so self-induced. I want to know what's going on in my friends' lives but lately all I've cared about is who's good enough for me to wake up next to and I forgot Gaara's birthday last month and if things keep going this way I'll forget Sakura's next and I have no-"

"Please child," A voice says, stunning Naruto quiet. "Breathe." His eyes are wide and he stares at the wicker and velvet screen from were that voice had come. "And yes child, you have become selfish, but everyone wants love, and I personally, find no sin in that."

Naruto smiles. It's been how long since he's smiled and it hurts his cheeks but he doesn't want to stop yet. Not ever.

"Tell me my child," The other side says breaking Naruto from his little happy spell. "You had mentioned a handful of people, but what has ever happened to Sasuke?"

Naruto's smile is now agaping and he stands quickly. "I'm sorry Father but I need to leave."

"That's fine child, but on one condition."

"What."

Naruto can here the laughter in the Father's voice. "The next time you want to tip, please put it in the donation box."

Naruto closes the back door to Itachi's car and thanks the couple for the ride as they drive off. He's at the park and he can see the silhouette of Sasuke with his stupid haircut, up on the monkey bars, facing the frozen water. It takes Naruto less than five seconds to cross the park and when he gets there, at the bass of the bars, Sasuke is waiting for him.

Naruto has to dodge the kick aimed for his head.

"Are you fucking insane Naruto!" Sasuke is off the bars. "Huh!" His hands grab onto Naruto's shoulders. "Going to clubs underage! Sleeping with random men you just meet!" Sasuke shakes him. "Do you not know how dangerous that is? Were you even safe?" Sasuke lets him go and they both stumbles back a bit. "You're such an idiot." Sasuke mumbles and lifts himself back onto the monkey bars. "What did you fucking want…?" Naruto stayed quiet until Sasuke growled. "What's your fucking answer Naruto?"

"I just wanted somebody to love when I woke up."

The air is thick between them. When Naruto's sure that Sasuke has nothing to say, he decided to leave. Just then does a pale hand was held out for him. Sasuke's hand.

Naruto takes the silent gesture and Sasuke helps pull him onto the monkey bars. They sit, shoulder to shoulder, facing the frozen lake which made his back shiver. An arm shoots out, wrapping around his back and pulling him closer to warmth. And Naruto got it.

Never before has a body felt so warm against his own. He looks up at Sasuke, a light blush on that pale face, with mysteriously dark eyes that try to hide under long lashes which brush upon high cheek bones. The thin lips that were so often emotionless but would smirk or scowled when he was around and so rarely smiled. That feather soft hair that looked so stupid but Sasuke kept it the same no matter how much Naruto would tug on it.

Naruto felt like he was in his warm home paradise.

And when he woke up tomorrow, he would still happy.

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