Loki had just woken; decided against disturbing his bed mate just yet he reached up behind his headboard for the bookshelf that had been transported from his library.

He found he couldn't read however as he felt Tony toss beside him with what seemed to be a nightmare. In an attempt to calm him Loki trailed his fingers over Tony's face and down his arms; it worked and soon he stilled. Loki found as he tried to get back to his book, the distraction wasn't the nightmare induced twitching but the presence of the playboy himself.

Eventually after he had reread the same paragraph eighteen times and still didn't know what happened in it he gave up on the book; set it back on the shelf for it to return to the library.

Suddenly:

"HOLY FUCK!" Loki shouted.

The ceiling had opened up with a gaping hole:

"HOW IS THIS HAPPENING?" he wailed.

And a giant earthworm fell out.

Tony who had been slumbering peacefully was jolted out of his happy dream world to be half drowned by slime. He turned in the sludge to see Loki not only drowning in slime but also being crushed under an earthworm that seemed to be trying to eat his face.

All he could do was laugh; even after Loki kicked him out of his magically enlarged king-sized bed he still laughed.

"How did this happen" Tony managed to choke out. "I was dreaming of creamy white skin, and then I'm being slimed by Shai-Hulud here."

"THIS PLACE IS MAGICALLY ENFORCED! NOTHING SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET IN!" Loki wailed after he finally managed to get the worm off of him before watching it slime his floor. After enough slime to fill a child's paddling pool was deposited Loki miniaturized the wretch, then captured it in a specimen flask.

"I'll take that to mean you don't know shall I? Maybe it's magic too?" Tony supplied.

"No! Really?" Loki started sarcastically. "I would never had thought that a gigantic earthsnake with the ability to invade my magically sealed home could have possibly been magic! Do you know that this place is hundreds of feet inside of a mountain? You can only get here by teleportation!" Loki ranted.

"You sure do get a lot of light for inside a mountain don't you?" Tony murmured offhandedly; Loki shot him a death stare.

"So what are you going to do with your small slimy Shai-Hulud here?" Tony asked. Loki ignored him.

"Got any food?" Tony asked. Loki pointed absent mindedly to a door materialising into existence across from the bed. Tony made his way through to the kitchen; then to the fridge beyond where he began to snack.

It was during this time that Loki saw his chance to shower and clean all the slime off of everything. Unfortunately Tony was still a slime ball.

Twenty minutes later found Loki clean, Tony fed and a slime trail following the billionaire.

"You know you have no food right?" Tony prompted as Loki cleaned the room again and the majority of the excess slime on himself; Tony would still need a shower, but at least he didn't trail as much muck about the place.

"What? I have a full fridge!" Loki exclaimed.

"Oh, yeah, sorry." The genius mumbled. "I've been meaning to ask." He conintued. "How do you have electricity if you're hundreds of feet inside a mountain?"

Loki just stared at him incredulously, how did he think the master sorcerer and resident evil genius got electricity inside a mountain?

"I'll go get some food now. You" He jabbed a finger at Tony. "Go have a shower and stop sliming my home." And with that, Loki dissaperated.

Tony did as he was told and took a long relaxing shower – it wasn't quite as he would have liked it, but it was good enough. After he was cleaned, dried and had found some of Loki's more Midgardian clothes he took his chance to snoop about. With only a bathroom, bedroom and kitchen to look at there wasn't much to see. He suspected there was a lot more in the mountain-house, if materialising doors were anything to go by, but he didn't have the access he wanted to them, which he thought was unfair; why could Loki access all areas of his home, but he was barred entrance to Loki's?

A part of his brain supplied – he's a god Tony! And he has magic. He can enter your home, because he can. It's pretty much certain that if you find a way to enter the rooms of his home that may or may not exist, then... you will be able to enter them!

He thought his mind shouldn't be so snarky to him... but then again, he was snarky Stark so...

A little while later Loki came back to find the philanthropist sitting in the middle of his bed, studying the worm through the glass of its container. He deposited the food he had brought into his fridge and came to sit with Tony on the bed. They chatted for a while until they both got hungry again; Loki offered to make the most amazing pasta dish anyone would have loved to eat but Tony said no – he felt like a cheeseburger! So Loki went out again to fetch some of these cheeseburgers while his own real food cooked.

Later:

"We have perfectly good food here, why do you insist on those cheeseburgers?" Loki asked, eating his pasta contentedly

"It's good!" Tony exclaimed, mouth full. Loki pulled a disgusted face.

"Anyway, what do you think I should so with the miniature overgrown earthsnake?" Loki asked, changing the subject.

"Urh, it's called an earthoworm" Tony replied, Loki just gave him a blank look.

"What is?" He asked.

"Nevermind."

"I think I'll call him Mini."

"Him?" Tony asked curiously.

"I'm magic, I've had six kids, one of them is a gigantic snake – I think I can tell the gender Tony."

"Um... okay..."

Okay, so an explanation: my friend Anneka - or as we at FanFiction knew her: Doctor Maz, is writing an ongoing story called Dirty Little Secret. she was having trouble with chapter 5 though - she didn't know how to get them out of bed after their wild night. This is how our text conversation went:

DM: Having trouble with chapter 5. I don't know how to get them out of bed. lol.

AE: No food in the lair, then have a rat problem - giant mutant rats that try to eat Loki x

AE: Tony is hungry btw if you didn't get that x

AE: Have someone barge in x

DM: There's a fridge.

DM: Tony is asleep.

AE: The fridge is empty. Tony wakes up when the rat tries to eat Loki x

DM: They're in a hollow in a mountain, you can only get there my teleportation.

AE: Rats can burrow in. Or maybe it's that giant earthworm thing from Dune!

DM: Dune? I don't know what that is. like Jess from mib2?

AE: Search Dune, it's like a really old scifi. Btw when you make the chapter put this convo in. But seriously have a giant worm fall in and slime him, and then Tony wakes up and is like "WTF!" and Loki is just like "this place is magically enforced! How the fuck did it get in here? Oh no, we have no food!"

DM: That could be his nightmare? that could work.

AE: Worm! Oh no! Maybe Loki had a nightmare and created the worm!

DM: uh...

AE: I still think that Tony has to be hungry, and then there is no food. Loki goes to get food and Tony snoops about.

DM: Hmm Maybe.

DM: I'm not quite ready for tony to wake up yet though. I might do some variation of that when he wakes though. Maybe Loki will read for a bit.

AE: Okay then, I'll write you a scene and you can see how you like it? I'm not quite sure how to explain what I'm thinking at the moment.

DM: Uh okay. I've got him to start reading.

AE: Nooooooooooooo. Worm!

DM: Worm later.

AE: Okay. x

Anyway, so I basically wrote this as a thing to help her with her ideas, and she convinced me to upload it myself - the convo continues, but it takes to long to write up. Anyway, I think she's gonna go with the worm thing, but it will be different!

Go look at her! Go: www. fanfiction u/ 3912155/ Doctor_Maz just get rid of the spaces. =]

Cookies to those who found the references!

R&R!

V