Finally, I Can Breathe Again

"I lost myself to the snow and then
I found my way back home again
But I can only stay for awhile

Now that I'm on my own I can
Finally I can breathe again
So I can only stay for awhile"

- Baywood

When he crosses the stage at graduation, Blaine feels an immense weight lifted off of his shoulders.

He'd be lying if he said the rest of the school year was easy for him. Cooper left for California again only a few days after Blaine got home from the hospital. Though they worked things out and came to an agreement that if Blaine still wanted him by the time he was finished with high school then they would be together, it was still hard. Cooper came to visit during Thanksgiving and Christmas and every time he left, Blaine felt as if a piece of him was missing.

With time, he found it easier to get through his school year without Cooper, knowing that they could be together in the future, and with time, he understood why Cooper did what he did. Blaine was certain that he would appreciate his relationship with Cooper a whole hell of a lot more if he waited. And sure, when Cooper was home for holidays, the brothers would sneak in a few kisses here and there or even have sex when their father was gone, but Blaine knew it would be so much better when they could finally be together.

So when Blaine crosses that stage at graduation, he feels an immense weight lifted off of his shoulders. He smiles out into the crowd of proud parents and siblings and manages to find his father and Cooper, sitting side-by-side and smiling up at him.

He has a graduation party at his house that night, where he's joined by his friends and fellow Warblers as well as family and of course, Cooper. They don't talk much throughout the party, but Blaine knows it's coming by the longing looks that Cooper keeps shooting him and the thought makes his heart race with excitement. He's definitely surprised, though, when he runs to his room to grab something during his party and is unexpectedly grabbed by his wrist and spun around so he's facing his brother's smiling face.

Their bodies are close, just barely touching, and Blaine feels a thrill of excitement when he sees Cooper's eyes staring down at him lovingly.

"I'm so proud of you, B," Cooper says, smiling down at him, still holding him close.

Blaine grins in response and manages to breathe out a thank you as he stares back up at his brother. It's quiet in Blaine's room, shutting out some of the noise from the party and right now, it's just him and Cooper. Together. Finally. He clears his throat, managing to regain a bit of composure before, "So are you going to kiss me, or what?"

Cooper laughs and rolls his eyes, but eventually obliges and leans forward, closing the gap between them and catching Blaine's parted lips in a kiss. Though they've kissed plenty of times over the past few months when Cooper has been home, this one is different. This one is different because they've finally made it. Blaine knows it and he's sure that Cooper knows it – that this kiss is just the very beginning of many to come.

Their moment is interrupted when one of Blaine's friends calls his name from down the stairs and Cooper pulls away, smiling at him. "Go," He says softly, "We can talk about everything later. You've got a party to host." Blaine laughs before standing on his toes to peck Cooper's cheek, then dash out of the room and down the stairs.

They don't talk after the party, because it's past midnight by the time everyone leaves, but Blaine doesn't mind. Not with the way that Cooper keeps beaming at him throughout the night like a proud older brother, and more importantly – a proud boyfriend. Once their father heads off to bed, Blaine is laying in his own room alone, smile plastered across his face as he thinks of the weeks to come. Cooper doesn't have anything to shoot for the next couple of months and plans on staying at the house with his family, leaving plenty of time for them to be together. And though Cooper doesn't know it, Blaine has been looking at colleges in California so he can hopefully move out there in the fall.

Blaine's thoughts are cut short, though, when he hears the door to his room open and close quietly. He listens as someone tiptoes their way over to his bed, and smiles when the mattress dips as Cooper climbs in behind him. "You awake?" He asks softly.

"Mhm," Blaine turns to face him, though he can't see him that well in the dark.

It's quiet between the two for a moment as Cooper throws his arm around his waist and turns Blaine's hair to press their foreheads together lovingly. "Good party," He compliments softly, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Cooper echoes, "All your friends came." Blaine hums in response, too caught up in Cooper's body against his and his breath hitting his lips to be able to come up with anything to say. So the boys lay like that, close and wrapped up in one another, for a few minutes, before Cooper speaks again. "So I'm guessing this means you still want me," He says quietly, lips brushing Blaine's nose as he does so.

"What gave you that idea?" Blaine teases, smiling, and though his eyes are closed, he knows Cooper is smiling back.

"Just a hunch," He replies before placing a small kiss on his nose.

It's a month later when Blaine tells Cooper that he's been looking at schools in California. Their summer has been great, and they've been together like they promised, and Blaine decides after the first month that he and Cooper need to talk about their future. Surprisingly, it's Cooper who brings up college, though, while the two are out at lunch one day.

"So have you looked at any schools yet?" He asks, taking a sip of his drink and smiling across the table at Blaine.

"Actually…" The younger boy starts, "I wanted to talk to you about that."

Oblivious, Cooper just beams and says, "Alright."

"I've been looking at a couple of schools in California," Blaine starts, and when he sees the immediate panic on Cooper's face, he can already hear the lecture that's about to come – something along the lines of Blaine I don't want you leaving your entire life behind for me – and he holds his hand up as if to stop him from speaking. "I know, I know… It's a big deal and I shouldn't move just for you, but I've been thinking about this for a long time, Cooper. I know it's a big step, and I know that there are plenty of things that can go wrong, but I'm willing to take the risk."

To Blaine's surprise, Cooper just smiles at his words and reaches across the table to grab his hand. "What schools?"

"Wait, you're not going to argue it?" Blaine asks, surprised.

Cooper just shrugs, "I trust you. I know I need to stop telling you how to live your life, and if this is what you want, I'm all for it."

"You just want to be able to come home to this," Blaine jokes, gesturing to himself.

"And I want to be able to come home to that," Cooper confirms, bringing Blaine's hand to his mouth and kissing the top of it.

It's an early august morning when Blaine finishes packing the rest of his things with Cooper's help. When he goes to sit down at the kitchen table afterward, though, Cooper stops him. "We need to go somewhere," He says, smiling a little.

"But our flight doesn't leave till noon," Blaine argues, tired because Cooper insisted that they get up early.

"Trust me," Cooper counters, "It's something we need to do."

The car is quiet as the boys make their way down the highway, because no matter how many times Blaine asks Cooper where they're going, he doesn't answer. When they turn down the all too familiar road toward the graveyard, though, Blaine has to try his hardest to keep it together. It's not that he's mad that Cooper is bringing him there, it's just that he hasn't been there since that night and…

"Coop, can you pull over?" Blaine asks suddenly, his breath coming out in short bursts.

When Cooper sees the panic on his face, he immediately does so and shuts off the engine, "Are you okay? What's going on?"

"I'm alright," Blaine manages out, nodding a little, "It's just… It's a lot."

"What?" Cooper asks, reaching out for Blaine's hands.

"It's just…" Blaine swallows the lump in his throat before speaking again, "This is the last place I came before… You know…"

"Oh my God, Blaine," Cooper breaths, leaning over the center console to wrap him in a hug, "I'm so sorry. I didn't – I didn't know… We can go back-"

"No," Blaine says, shaking his head and pulling away a little, "I'm okay. I just… I needed a minute."

Cooper nods, "Just say the word, and we can go home."

Instead, Blaine looks up at his brother, smiles, and says, "Let's go see Mom."

Within fifteen minutes, the boys find themselves standing in front of her gravestone. Cooper is holding a bouquet of flowers that Blaine had somehow missed in the backseat, and they're both silent as they look down at her name. It's how their meetings with her always go – Cooper brings the flowers and they both stand in silence for a while, and then he does most of the talking. And if Blaine's being honest, Cooper is probably the best at talking to her.

"Hey Mom," He finally says, smile spreading across his face when he turns to look at Blaine for a second. He looks happy, the happiest Blaine has seen him in a long time, and the younger boy knows that this is the start of something good. "This might be the last time we come see you for a while," He explains, "But I promise, we'll come see you every time we're back in town…"

"There's something we need to tell you, Ma," He says, softer. At that, he reaches over with his free hand and grips Blaine's. The boys lock eyes, and Cooper's next words and the look on his face when he says them make Blaine want to cry. "I love him, Mom," He says to her, though he's looking at Blaine, "I love him so much. I know it might not be what you wanted for us, but it's what I want for us. He's everything to me. I don't know what I'd do without him."

At that, he turns his gaze back to the ground and shakes his head slightly, "I tried to live without him, and that didn't really work out really well. I know I fucked up a while back, Mom. I wasn't looking out for him, but I promise, I'll never do that again as long as I live."

Blaine wants to stop him and argue – wants to tell him that he didn't fuck up, that it wasn't his fault – but he decides it can wait till later. Instead, he listens as Cooper keeps talking. "I want to spend the rest of my life with him," He says, turning to look at Blaine, "Only if he wants to, though."

Blaine nods quickly, eyes welling up with tears, and he manages to whisper out, "Of course I want to."

Cooper squeezes his hand in response and turns his gaze back to the headstone. "I don't want to say that this is goodbye," He says softly, "But I just needed to tell you not to worry anymore. I've got him. And I won't let him go again, Ma."

At that, Cooper leans down and places the flowers on the ground.