How to Babysit a Super Toddler

A/N: You guys are maniacal. So many fantastic ideas. :) This one is by far the most requested. Thanks to MissSardonic, Melodist, MidnightSword, mat528, NoNameX and nightslashcheetor for the bath time suggestion!

Am I the only one thinking this is quickly becoming a Loki-and-Pepper-babysit-Peter story? Poor Thor. I'm gonna give him the spotlight next time.

Edit: Sorry about the re-submissions. The site decided to be stupid just when I was trying to upload. Hopefully it's fixed now!

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From her spot at the table, Pepper was laughing. Not one of those quiet chuckles she normally did. No. She was full-on belly laughing and was having trouble finding the space to breathe. From his spot at the door way, Loki glared at her.

"This is not the time to be laughing, you devilish woman!" he barked. Pepper struggled to contain her laughter, placing a hand on her chest to ease the bubbling giggles still lingering in her lungs. She smiled widely at the poor Asgardian, reaching up to wipe away a tear from her eye. Honestly. What other reaction could she have had? One minute she was enjoying a book at the dining table, calmly listening to the thunderstorm outside; the next Loki walked in dangling a very muddy and very naked Peter from his ankle. The little boy was laughing, but it wasn't that sight that sparked her gut laugh. It was the fact that the once-Asgardian prince was covered in mud as well, his dark hair sticking nearly straight up with the amount of mud caked in his hair. The scowl on his face was too much for her. She couldn't even ask him what happened before her giggle attack started.

"I-I'm sorry," she apologized with a slight hitch in her voice. She stood from her chair, reaching to push her sleeves back as she went to retrieve Peter from Loki's grasp. The toddler was so covered in mud that he slipped from her grasp, and Loki had to dart out to snatch Peter by his ankle again to avoid having him land on the hardwood floor. Pepper was surprised to see the disapproving glare he sent her way.

"Why don't you just hold him? I'll go get the bath started," she said as a second thought. She headed out the room leaving Loki standing there, dripping mud on the dining room floor. From around the corner, she pulled her phone out of her pocket to take a quick snapshot of the sight she left behind. Tony would get a kick out of that. Walking into the hall bathroom, Pepper easily started running a warm bath in the rather ostentatiously large marble bathtub. She never understood why Tony wanted such a luxurious bath in the hallway, but she wasn't complaining at the moment. Less mud to clean off the floors when she called Loki in there.

"So, where did Thor run off to?" she called to him.

"The fool was just as enamored with the puddles as the small one was," Loki said from directly behind her. She jumped a bit in surprise, turning to face him fully. He stood with both hands around the grinning toddler in the middle of the tiled floor, looking rather uncomfortable as his street clothes that she finally managed to get him into were dripping with muddy water. He wasn't too keen on going outside in the rain to begin with, but she watched in surprise as he followed his brother and the toddler without a fuss. She wasn't sure what was going on in his tricky mind, but she had a sneaking suspicion that Peter was starting to grow on him. Not that he would ever admit to that.

"He's still outside, then?" Pepper asked. Loki nodded. She chuckled to herself, thinking that she would probably have to go see the God of Thunder playing around in puddles before he came trampling back inside. "Okay, then. Go ahead and take off your dirty clothes. I'll go throw them in the laundry while you get in the bath."

He gave her a sharp look. "You cannot be suggesting that I bathe with the child."

"I'm not drawing up another bath in a different room," Pepper said flatly. "There's space for a whole baseball team in this bathtub."

"I am not worried about the lack of space," Loki responded lowly.

She glanced over at him, noticing that he was looking very uncomfortable all of a sudden. A small smirk rose on her lips. "Oh, dear. Is the big bad super villain scared of taking a bath with a toddler?"

His cheeks flushed red under the coat of mud. "You accuse too much, woman. I do not fear anything. Especially this child."

"Then act like a man," Pepper shot back. "Take off your clothes and get in the bath. I'll be back in five minutes." She shut the door with a click when she left.

She went ahead and set things up for after Peter got out of the bath. It was the middle of the day, and she still had no idea where his clothes had run off to, so she set out a fresh pair of clothes and a diaper for the toddler. She retrieved a few towels and stopped by the window at the side to look for Thor. The big Asgardian was in fact, rolling around in the mud. Sometimes she wondered how somebody so strong and surprisingly intelligent could act like such a child. She scoffed, remembering how childish Tony could be, and left Thor to enjoy himself outside in the rain. She was cleaning the mud from the dining room floor when a wild scream came from the hall bathroom.

She snapped her head up when a naked toddler came running into the room. He was on the verge of crying. She knew that Peter was never really that into baths. She really should have warned Loki. She was reaching out to console the child when a second pair of thunderous footsteps came racing down the hallway.

"Child, I swear-ack!" The most undignified shout pulled from Loki's lips as he skidded past the doorway to the dining room, slipping on the wet ground left behind in Peter's escape. He landed with a loud thump and slid out of view. Pepper sat with a dropped jaw for a few moments, glancing at Peter's worried face before darting after him.

"Oh gosh, Loki! Are you alright?" she asked, peeking around the corner. Loki laid face down on the ground, unmoving, missing his shirt, and still covered in mud. "Loki?" Pepper called again, slightly worried now.

"What has my life turned into," she heard him mutter into the ground. "I was a prince. Now I'm chasing naked mortal children around a giant house covered in mud."

Pepper chuckled as Peter peeked around her leg. "Now, Peter," she said to the toddler. He looked up at her with big brown eyes. "I know you don't like baths, but you and Uncle Loki need one to feel refreshed. That wasn't a very nice thing you did. He's only trying to help you." Peter looked upset by what she was saying. The tears were making a come back. "No, you don't, young man. You know I don't fall for that game." He pouted. "Look. If you behave, I promise I'll give you your favorite ice cream when you're done."

His eyes lit up. "Mean it?" he asked, bouncing a bit in excitement.

"Yes, I promise," she said. "Now go apologize to Uncle Loki and get your butt back in that bath." He nodded before running over to where Loki still laid on the ground. He latched himself onto Loki's mud coated head in an attempt to make him feel better with a hug.

"Sowwy Uncoo Loki," he said. Loki gave a long, drawn-out sigh, refusing to even comment upon the fact that there was a naked toddler hugging his head. When Peter finally let go, he pushed himself back up to his feet, giving the child a single glare before pointing silently toward the bathroom. Peter skittered off in excitement. Loki started to return to the bathroom, taking a moment to retrieve the towels from Pepper.

"I will not thank you, woman," he said, but the usual sharp edge wasn't there. Pepper gave him a small smile.

"I know you won't."

He pressed his lips into a line, contemplating if he should say anything else before ultimately deciding not to and returned to the bathroom. Pepper gave a small shrug, unsure where Loki's placid attitude was coming from before going back to cleaning the mud off the floor. She managed to straighten things up around the place so that it looked like it did before Loki came tracking mud through it, and slipped into the bathroom once to grab Loki's dirty clothes and replace them with fresh ones. She overheard him telling some sort of story about Asgard and let the pleased smile pull up her lips before she made a sneaky exit again.

She had just started dolling out scoops of chocolate ice cream into bowls when they came back out from their bath. Pepper blinked a few times in surprise at their appearance. Loki was dressed in the street clothes Pepper put out for him, just a t-shirt and jeans, which looked much better on him than the other clothes he had dirtied earlier that day. He seemed more comfortable wearing them, at least. He must have found Peter's clothes, for the child was dressed in the clothes she had put aside for him, but that wasn't what had her smiling. It was the fact that Loki was carrying the child rather normally in his arms, and that Loki's hair post bath, was ridiculously wild. It stuck out at random angles and curled hopelessly at the ends. She snorted and Loki leveled a glare at her.

"Comment about the state of my hair and you will not live through the night," he threatened. She stifled her laughter, picking up a bowl of ice cream as a peace offering. He eyed the treat skeptically before taking it from her, accepting the bribe for her life. She smiled and took Peter from his arms to place him in his highchair, tying his bib on before placing the bowl of ice cream before the little boy. He squealed in excitement and began to dig in, chocolate ice cream instantly covering his face. Loki gave a small sound in annoyance.

"I am not washing the child again," he stated.

"I will do it," Pepper responded. "Thank you for bathing him the first time."

He nodded silently before taking up a seat at the table to try the iced treat. He seemed to like it after a few careful bites. Pepper took a couple bites of her own ice cream before curiosity plucked at her.

"What story were you telling Peter?" she asked. He met her eyes. "About Asgard, I mean."

"A common one that parents tell their children on Asgard," he responded shortly. She took another bite of her ice cream, encouraging him to explain. He gave a small sigh, dropping his eyes down to his ice cream. "It is about two brothers who go on their first hunt together. One is strong and powerful, but rash. The other is weaker, but craftier. At first they make a competition out of their hunt to see who can kill the beast first, and they lose sight of the hunt due to their desire to better one another. One of them gets hurt, and the other must sacrifice the hunt to help bring his brother home." There was a distant look in his green eyes. "It teaches the importance of relying upon one another and the dangers of arrogance."

Pepper watched him for a short moment, noticing the way his posture changed as he sat back. The rigidness in his shoulders returned, as did the guarded look in his green eyes. He looked up at her, expecting her to say something. She gave him a small smile. "Sounds just like the stories we tend to tell here."

He gave a small snort at her attempt to compare their cultures. "I would hardly compare the stories of Asgard to the stories of Midgard. Ours are decidedly much more… gruesome."

"Something tells me not to doubt that," Pepper said with a touch of humor, turning back to her ice cream. She tended to Peter for a while, wiping his face before moving to take her now empty bowl to the sink. She went to retrieve Loki's empty bowl when the dark Asgardian caught her wrist. His green eyes held hers and he seemed to struggle with his desire to say something. His lips parted when a loud crash came from the front door. They both jumped at the sound, staring in shock as Thor came stumbling into the dining room, every inch of him dripping in mud. He took a look around, his eyes zero-ing in on the bowls placed upon the table. He gave a wide, mud-stained grin.

"Is that the cream of ice I have heard about?"

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More unfortunate events to come! Please review! :)