the beginning is the end is the beginning

I just want to say that I would have updated sooner but sometimes life gets in the way and death is just an awful way of that.

Also, Violet might seem a little out of character at times... but we all know she's full of shit when she says when she's not afraid of anything.

Oh, and Happy (early) Halloween you guys! :)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Chapter 09 - Stranded

She can't quite explain it but she has this weird feeling in the pit of her stomach from the moment she wakes up that day. Something is coming.

A change.

She can smell in the air.

She hopes maybe it means she'll find Tate today but of course things are never that simple.

Tate doesn't come around anymore. Fake Tate, not her Tate. (Of course her Tate doesn't come around either so there is really no difference anymore, but she refuses to think about that.)

She banished him, for good, around a week ago, because he was never going to be enough, not really. He was only a temporary comfort, nice, pretty, perfect enough to make her forget just for a while, but too imperfect to last forever.

The strangest part is that she doesn't miss him. Not him. But Tate.

The real Tate.

And missing him has her slipping into depression quite fast. It's alarming how quickly you can lose your mind, she realizes. It's so easy to just let the days pass you by in a blur, stop caring, stop living. So easy to let it all go. She can't even detest her mother anymore, because she's the same. She's always been the same, always had the tendency to abuse herself, physically and mentally.

(She remembers when she used to cut, before Tate. She remembers all those times when she thought she wasn't good enough and that's why her parents didn't care for her, didn't love her.)

All she has now is her memories of him and of happier days, and those pictures she's taken with her phone when he was not looking. But her battery's dead and her charger is lost somewhere, so really, it's just the memories which will fade soon enough.

Then he'll be really gone, like he never existed.

Did he?

Or was it just a fantasy she came up with to comfort herself?

She sighs, pressing her cheek to the cool window glass, welcoming the chilly sensation. It's already starting. It won't be long before she totally goes off the wall, even if she tries to prolong the procedure, for as long as she can. In a world without people, without a purpose and a future, all alone, hunted every hour, every day of the week, she's doomed to fail. She will probably end up like them, brainless, stupid, starving for human flesh and...

Her thoughts are rudely interrupted when the car stops in the middle of nowhere for seemingly no reason and oh god, not again. She's been in this scene before and she knows how it ends, with blood, tears and zombies, but when she looks outside there's no jeep and no family, stranded on the side of the road.

However her grandfather is getting out of the car and everyone soon follows as he looks at the jeep with distress, scratching the back of his head. Violet prepares for the worst when he speaks up.

"We got a flat tire," he sighs and all of Violet's worries are eased. She's just about to sit back in the car and let her grandfather deal with it when her mother asks if they have any spare tires and the older man shakes his head.

"We don't have any spare tires?"

"No."

"Then what?" Violet wonders, furrowing her eyebrows. "We're... stranded." The truth of her sentence hits her hard, knocking the wind out of her. They were really stranded, with waning food and ammo, no way to protect themselves. Who knows how far the closest town was? Who knows if there were any wandering zombies nearby?

Reality was darker now than ever.

She presses a shaking hand to her heart, fighting a panic attack coming her way, and wonders when she became this terrified, unstable girl. Weak. If she wasn't so preoccupied with trying not to get eaten, she would have been disgusted with herself.

Her grandfather is already scanning the map when she comes back to her senses, his fingers following different routes on the paper, probably trying to work out the closest destination. When he seems satisfied with what he came up with, he turns back to the other members of the family, standing next to his wife. "We're lucky, there is a little town nearby, half an hour at most walking. We'll go try to find new tires, you stay here in the car until then. If we're not back within two hours, well..." the man trails off, a meaningful look in his eyes before they walk off.

And that is how Violet finds herself stuck in the car for hours with her non-responding, slightly lunatic mother.

Surprisingly, Violet is not aware of the two hour mark approaching, lost in her dark thoughts of zombies and death, and her happy memories of Tate. On the contrary, Vivien is painfully conscious of every minute ticking by in dead silence. And only five minutes short before two hours have officially passed, she lets out a sigh that sounds more resolved than upset and looks her daughter.

"Violet." She watches as the girl turns to face her, blank eyes slowly coming back to life and it worries her how much she's slipping away from herself. She's out of it more than she probably realizes, lost in her own universe. Like mother, like daughter, Vivien thinks bitterly. "I'm gonna go after your grandparents, okay? You just stay here and..." She presses the weapon into Violet's waiting hands and pauses for a moment. She looked uncomfortable, leaving her daughter completely on her own, but she knew something must be terribly wrong if no one was back yet and she didn't want to put her little girl in danger by dragging her along too. "Just stay in the car, okay?"

Violet nods but she stays silent, fearing she wouldn't be able to stop her voice from wavering if she spoke now. The last thing she wants is to make her mother feel guilty right now, but truthfully she is afraid.

Yeah, that's right, badass, fearless Violet Harmon is scared of a bunch of flesh eating braindead monsters.

It's not the things themselves that scare her or even the idea of death, she doesn't care about that, it's actually the painful means she would die, and it's never seeing Tate again that has her shaking in the backseat, all alone now. Suffering - and there would be a lot of that if she'd ever become the meal of a zombie - scares her. Losing Tate for good terrifies her.

The quiet is screaming at her, overwhelming. Every noise, every small sound could be a zombie, every second the end of her. Her hands hold onto the weapon, gripping it in wild desperation, her only salvation if someone - or rather something - did attack her. It's maddening, maddening really, the waiting. Especially when minutes feel like goddamn hours, when she feels hesitation to even breathe, as if they could hear even the quiet puffs of air leaving her mouth.

That's how the seconds go by, struggling. She has no idea how long she's been sitting there alone, having completely lost her sense of time but it's not dark yet, so it can't be more than a few hours top. That's a good thing, at least.

But she can't help herself from waiting for the moment a zombie crosses her path, and in the end, they do.

A small army of them, it seems.

It's only one at first. Nothing too trying, even if her heart beats a hundred times faster.

She sinks lower on the seat, trying to disappear, hoping maybe it won't notice her, but no, no such luck - it could probably smell her. The smell of fresh meat.

She takes it down without much trouble, all it takes is one clean shot in the head when it starts clawing on the window to find its way in, and the monster is dead. She might be terrified, but she is still a fighter.

But then more come and there are too many of them, just too many. She can't kill all of them, not by herself, she doesn't even have enough bullets. She can't stay in the car because eventually they will break the windows and then she's fucking doomed. So she does the next best thing she can do, probably her only chance to survive with some miraculous luck: run.

She runs for her life, literally, but she can't run forever and she's no Tate Langdon either. She wasn't on the track team, she didn't even like sports. Of course now it would come back to bite her in the ass.

But she's a fighter, still, she reminds herself every time she thinks it would be better to just lay down and die, hell, use one of those bullets on herself to avoid the suffering, she's a fighter and she's not going to give up like that. Tate needs her. He's alive, out there somewhere, and he needs her.

It becomes her mantra, a broken record playing over and over again in her head, but as long as it keeps her alive, she'll take it.

And maybe she really does have miraculous luck, or maybe destiny has decided to have mercy on her. Maybe her strength, her persistence appealed to the fates, and decided the poor girl can catch a break now.

Either way, when she sees a car in the distance, an actual fucking car with real, normal people driving behind the wheel, heading towards her, she probably wouldn't even care if they turned out to be heartless killers and psychopaths, she's so goddamn happy.

It's a like sign, - although she doesn't even believe in those things - a sign that she's meant to live and survive and find Tate. Because even if this is no more than a coincidence, she'll accept it, after all in times like these everyone needs something to hold onto and believe in, or you'll go crazy soon enough.

Violet had fake Tate before to fit that role, but ever since she banished him, there was an ache, a hole in her heart, and she kept slipping away from reality.

That was about to change.

Whoever was driving obviously decided to take pity on the poor girl as the car sprints towards her faster now, and she continues to run until she reaches the door, throwing herself in the front seat before any of the undead things, not too far behind, can reach her.

Her first reaction is to let out a grateful, relieved sigh, she's fucking escaped them, then with the same breath she's turning to her savior, a choked gasp leaving her lips as she takes in the familiar face.

Tate.

Was that really him? After all this time? Maybe she was just hallucinating again, thinking she was saved and they were reunited, while in reality the zombies were happily munching on her right now. But no way, she would feel the pain, wouldn't she?

This had to be real, it had to be him, unless he had a twin or a doppelganger... "Violet."

The sound of her name coming from his mouth breaks through her disbelieving thoughts. He sounds so happy, so relieved, like he had just found the meaning of his life, the reason to keep living - and he had - and she knows it must be him. It has to. No one else would say her name like that, like she's the center of their universe.

She makes the strangest noise ever in the back of her throat, something like a combination between a laugh, a sob and a whimper, and he mimics it, his eyes already filling with tears as he keeps sneaking looks at her between watching the road.

"Tate."

And suddenly she can't stop repeating his name over and over again, and she probably sounds like an insane person but she doesn't care. Because he's here, finally, and he's real this time, - she makes sure of that, his assurances that he's indeed real confirmation enough, after all fake Tate had never lied to her about only being a hallucination - he's alive, all this time he was alive. She wasn't crazy, she wasn't stupid for hoping and wishing, and going after him.

There are no words either of them can say that could describe what they were both feeling right now so it's silent in the car as he drives, save for the few quiet sobs she lets out, immediately soothed by his tender words. She leans onto his shoulder, her face buried in his neck as she takes in deep breaths, all of his scent, just inhaling him. He tries to accept as much of her embrace as he can while still trying to concentrate on the road - the last thing they need now is a car crash - but as soon as he's convinced there are no zombies around anymore, he stops the car.

He angles his whole body towards her now, wanting nothing more than escape reality for a while, just be with Violet and relish in the fact that she is not dead, he hasn't lost her yet. His heart restarted the moment he saw her face and her petite little body from the windshield and he felt alive again. As long as she wasn't dead, he wasn't either.

And he has to make sure that wouldn't change. "Jesus, Violet." He holds her close, murmuring into her hair. "Are you alright? You weren't bit, were you?"

She shakes her head, quick to reassure him and make the panic in his voice disappear. "No, no, I'm fine. Thanks to you," she lets out the smallest of laughs, pulling away to let him see her happy grin. But now that he can see all of her without any distractions, he finds he can't look away from her lips. Still so pink, pouty, just begging to be kissed... Violet's words barely register in him after that. "I knew you were alive. So many times I doubted it, but I never really gave up on hope. And now you're here."

"Yeah. Yeah, I am," is all he can get out before he smashes his lips to her, rather forcefully, but she doesn't seem to mind. She kisses him back with just as much fervor, pouring all the emotions she felt while they were separated into it, all the despair and longing, all the love, the sexual frustration. She could ravish him right here, right now without a care in the world, but she knew they couldn't be careless now, not when they just found each other again.

Later though, after they found a temporary place they can stay at, she would give him the best sex of his life because it's been far too long since he's been inside of her.

Breaking their kiss, she can feel his breath on her skin as he pants, and it's the most peaceful feeling she's had in a while. Just to hear him breathe, have his arms around her body, a physical proof that he's alive, is enough for her to regain all her lost strength and hope. "I missed you so much," he murmurs against her lips. She can only nod in agreement.

"Yeah, me too. Everything turned to shit in a couple of hours, and you weren't fucking answering your phone." Her voice rises at the end of the sentence, making her displeasure known with a well aimed punch to the shoulders. Yeah, the old Vi was back.

"I'm sorry. I left my phone home, I was in the store. By the time I got back..." he trails off, avoiding her eyes. That was enough sign for her.

"All of them?" she inquires quietly, her hands now rubbing his arms, trying to comfort him silently.

"Yeah, well... Constance was a bitch, even as a zombie," he shrugs, the image in front of his eyes when he opened the door still clear, still haunting him. He doesn't even know which one of his siblings she was chewing on in that moment, but it's probably better he doesn't.

"My father too." That was her way of saying 'I'm sorry'. She knew it would have meant jackshit anyway, there is nothing more cliche in this world than the almost coordinated reactions of sorry whenever you hear someone lost a relative. Instead she wanted to let him know she understood his pain and she was here for him, always, if he ever needed her.

He sighs quietly, his arms holding her to him just a little bit tighter. "What about your mother?"

"My mother... holy shit, my mom! Tate, we gotta go back for her." Fuck, what kind of daughter she is? She should have thought of her sooner, but the miracle of seeing Tate again completely made her forget about anything else. She feels guilty now, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth as she proceeds to tell the shortened version of her story while Tate turns the car back around, heading back to the direction they came from.

They're going to go rescue Vivien and her grandparents, together as a team. If there's anything left to rescue.

And there isn't much, she can already see that now.

The undeads are everywhere - some of them munching on what looks like fresh meat, some of them roaming around, and some of them trying to attack the two of them, luckily to no avail.

Her family is nowhere to be found.

That is until Tate points out a horde of zombies banging on the doors of a supermarket, desperately trying to get in.

She turns to him with wide eyes full of panic and fear, but not for herself this time. For her mother and grandparents. And for Tate. "Do you think..."

"Only one way to find out," he smirks and his voice sounds entirely too cheerful. Just as she suspected, he likes this - the danger, the adrenaline. She has a feeling he would like to get out of the car and finish them all by himself, but he stays, not only because it would be risky and a suicide mission to do it alone, but because of her too. Instead he settles for the next best thing. Throwing her a sideways look, he grins. "Fasten your seat belts."

She barely has enough time to obey before the car is off with the speed of lighting, passing all the zombies and dead bodies, not stopping even as the shop gets closer and closer. He drives through the glass, hitting some of the braindead monsters in the process, with a loud carefree laugh and a yell of 'woohoo' that makes her smile just as big.

And his assumptions prove to be true when a disheveled, shaken up looking Vivien stumbles out of one of the shelves at the sound of commotion. Her mouth hangs open in surprise at the sight of a car in the middle of the store, and no other than her daughter's boyfriend sitting behind the wheel, but she's quick to catch on, running to the door. She takes out on of the zombies stumbling towards her with the rifle she was still holding, then she's inside too, safe from clutches of the monsters.

"Where's grandma and grandpa?"

Vivien merely shakes her head slowly, and that's all Tate needs to start backing out of the shop. However his hand find Violet's, intertwining their fingers when he sees the expression she's wearing. There are no tears, no traces of sadness at all for anyone who doesn't know her. But he does know her and he can see how much it did affect her.

"I got here too late. There were so many of them, I couldn't have killed them all. So I had to run," Vivien continues, but her voice is emotionless, dead. Violet knows the signs already, this is the part when her mother would be slipping into her usual coma, because that's easier than dealing with her parents' deaths and the reality of this world. Now that she's been there too, Violet understands her better and she thanks whatever forces there are out there again that she found Tate, so she doesn't have to end up like her.

"I'm really glad you're alive, Tate," the older woman whispers while she's still herself. "I know you'll take care of Violet."

His head turns towards the said girl just in time for their eyes to meet, the sadness in her eyes momentarily gone as she gives him a soft smile, nodding her agreement with her mother. He mirrors her grin, squeezing her hands as his eyes turn back to the road.

Vivien was right, he would take care of her, always, and she'd take care of him too. Now that they had each other again, nothing could stand in their way.

So here it is, the moment you've all been waiting for. They're reunited, yay! It made me happy too. So how many of you called that it was Tate in the car? I know it was a long shot they would ever cross paths again, but whatever, it's not like I was gonna have them be apart forever.

Next chapter is the last one, and then I can start working on new things, all Violate, because I don't wanna give up on them just because season 2 is here now (which started out good, but still, it's not season 1 and it's never gonna be)

And about season 2, well, EVAN'S ASS, HOLY SHIT! That is all.