Honor's Debt

Wednesday I Think– Ummm Sometime or Other

Chapter 22

I opened my eyes to find the side of my head resting on something soft, and warm, and strong while a delicate hand casually brushed the hair from my face. The action was something expected of a caring parent, parent figure, or even lover. As I did not have that third category and was pretty sure the first was impossible I was ready to settle for the second. I was mentally placing the majority of my bet on Lea though the Snow Leopard was not outside the realm of possibility either I figured.

Instead it was a twenty foot long or so lion, one with a human face, and therefore one I did not know. Only one thing kept me from jumping up and screaming, well actually there were a few things to be fair. The first was a splitting headache in the back of my skull that made me nauseous just thinking of moving rapidly. Second there was this golden paw that was bigger than my head occasionally moving one of my stray hairs from my face with a rare sense of delicacy. And last there was just this sense of rightness about this place that did not make me fear becoming the main course on the menu at any time in the immediate future. Since I had expected to be dead I decided I would worry about the 'later future' once I got my bearings and figured out while I was still alive at the moment.

"Where?" I tried speaking and croaked realizing I was completely parched and it was really, really warm here. Wow, did that mean I had gone to the hotter place in the afterlife? I do not recall Dante speaking of cats combing a sinner's hair as any particular punishment in his Inferno. Heck I knew of people who would actively seeking this type of eternity if word got out.

He slowly placed a cup in my hands, how he manipulated it with the giant paws I have no idea, but the chill and beads of water on its sides told me the water within was fresh and ice cold. It also tasted really good though I knew now there was no way I was dead. It is a standing rule that you can't get ice water in Hell…ba dum bump!

I finished the water feeling slightly more refreshed. He carefully took the cup away and I took this opportunity to slowly sit up as the room began spinning a bit in time with my movements. "Be careful." The sphinx growled in concern. "I believe you have a minor concussion as a result of you recent adventure. If you can balance yourself without support and sit patiently a moment I can get you something for the pain."

Was he Doctor Sphinx? "Ummm sure." I said as I tried to recall if there was a doctor sphinx.

He stalked off on four paws and came back dropping an individual pack of Extra Strength Tylenol in my lap. I had not really expected modern medicine and this must have come across in my expression. "Oh do you have a preference for Motrin?" He said seriously with a cocked head.

"No I am good, thanks." I said ripping open the pack as he handed me a refilled glass of water to swallow the pair of pills down with. Now if they could just start working their tiny capsule miracles on my head I might be able to focus on other things like…

"Where am I did you say?" I asked again like I had already forgotten his answer even though he had not really offered me one as of yet.

"You are in my home." He replied which really did not tell me much more except that he was my host and therefore I should make sure that I treated him with the required respect.

"May I ask how I arrived here?" Come on. I know that the image is of a mysterious and solemn sphinx but to be fair that was talking about a statue out in a vast desert not a living and breathing being. I would be quite fine if he chose not to follow the stereotype and give me the whole skinny without me having to play twenty questions. My head would appreciate it too.

"I can only offer a partial explanation." He said. "The rest will require others to fill in the gaps. Suffice to say that a some hours ago a small group of strange and varied travelers arrived on my doorstep and requested permission to enter my house. Why I asked them why they merely said it was necessary to save the life of a hero."

I snorted, forgetting that the Tylenol had not kicked in and paid for that little bit of sarcasm with a fresh wave of pain. "I assure you that they overstated their case."

"I must admit I have never personally met a hero, only read the stories of how they carry swords and gleaming chest plates everywhere they go." He replied. "Might I suggest if nothing but to make a counter fashion statement from this century that you allow them their little claim at least temporarily?" He asked. Of course requests from hosts are important so I nodded as slowly as I could to not cause even more skull distress to myself.

"Anyway since I had not met a hero I of course agreed as there was nothing else pressing on my schedule." He said quite happy to have this diversion it seemed.

"Wait." I requested. "Aren't you supposed to ask them a riddle before allowing them to pass?"

"I only know one riddle actually." He said sheepishly. "What is green and black and red all over?"

He was kidding me right? "A frog in a blender?" I said to a joke that was old and gross when I was a kid.

"Exactly!" He said. "See you paid that particular debt if we are going to stand on such formality. Personally I would prefer not to."

"Okay." Wow, once more it was time to question if I really was nuts.

"They came into the room, took some sort of measurements, and then opened a door to another place and yanked you through with a rather impressive explosion sound along with you." He continued.

"It was real." I said.

"I assumed so for that explains the minor concussion." Yeah the very leading edge of a force wave to the back of my head probably would cause that type of effect. My back and neck would probably also turn black and blue. But compared to being dead I could live with it… get it?

"And these strangers just left me here in your care?" I asked.

"Well they told me a most incredible story first about how you have been fighting a continual war against the Fomor and that your self-sacrificing actions had just saved a city of millions." He replied. "Since you were hurt I shooed them out of the room so you could recover which more or less brings us up to date."

"I guess I owe you my thanks for that…ummm…and for a lot of other things as well." Okay Molly you are more than a minute past realizing you are not dead so it's time to start getting your brain running normally again.

"Think nothing of it." One of those tennis racket sized paws waved me off as if his efforts were not even a trifle. If I got hit by one of those things though I would probably vigorously disagree with his assessment once I woke up. "That said there are others waiting to see you now that you are awake. If there is anything you require that I might provide please feel free to ask otherwise I will allow you some privacy." I shook my head not wishing to add to any debt I might be accumulating.

"May I ask your name?" I said trying to locate my manners in my still addled brain.

"I have always been partial to Ramses."

Of course…

There were four people waiting for me and as the sphinx had indicated they were a rather unique collection of powerful beings. They spent a little too much time deferring to one another over who entered in front of whom and which of them would speak and in what order. In many ways it was as awkward as one of Murphy's alliance meetings which ironically I realized had more or less been the beginning of these events for me. Since Karrin was not one of these people and I might die of old age while these four kept being overly polite to each other I decided to take charge.

"Crystal, since I half expected to see how you perform you primary duties once I set off the explosion why don't you come give me a hug?" I said holding out my arms to my friend and then being swept off my feet by the valkyrie in a good natured show of Norse affection. Yeah the back was definitely going to feel like hell in the morning, or night, or whatever the hell time it was.

"Glad to say this is just a social call not business girlfriend." She let me back down to my feet and then looked me over with a critical eye.

"What?" I said after a moment.

"Girl, you know what you need?" She asked

"What?"

"A good man in your life." She smiled. "And it seems to me that I owe you one in this category. I know this guy name Leif…nice fellow, bathes at least monthly, took over the family business, even owns his own boat…"

"Pass." I said smiling and certainly NOT interested in the kind of men that regularly caught a valkyrie's rather discriminating attentions.

"Oh no girlfriend you do not get a pass in this area." She said. "You hooked me up with Butters so there is a debt of honor since then that will stand between us until I find you a man who is his equal." She said very straight-faced. The thought made me shudder just a little bit inside.

"Uuumm speaking of, did Marcone get him and Karrin and the rest free?" I asked hoping she had word and wanting to get away from her less than veiled threat.

"Yep. Marcone came through on that just as promised." Crystal replied. "Your brother and I went by his place to return Butters's 'tool' Daniel had been carrying and he was already home. I told him it was goodbye for us and he gave me your wands and asked me to return them to you." She pulled the pair from her belt and put them in my hands.

"Is he going to be okay?" I asked. "I am pretty sure you will be a hard act for him to follow."

She smiled at me. "Naah I do not like leaving that kind of emotional damage in my wake." She shook her head. "Therefore, on my way here I stopped by and saw that little female werewolf that hangs around with Karrin…"

"Andi?" I asked thinking how male emotions I read around her never rose past their waistlines.

"Yep, that is the one." She confirmed.

"What for?"

"I told her I had a new job but that I could not leave town without letting her know what a crush Butters has on her." Crystal said with a wicked little smile.

"He does?" I said shocked as I had never read that emotion from him when the two were in the same room.

"Well if not he probably soon will." That wicked little smile turned into something worthy of witches from the North, South, East, or West. "See during my little girl talk with the wolfie I also let slip that little myth about the sexual prowess of polka men."

"You didn't…" I asked laughing because I was the author of that particular myth.

She nodded laughing even louder than me. "I figure he has a week or so at most to rest up before she comes sniffing around. Female wolves are known to do most of the hunting in their packs so once she get's hungry…" Oh there goes ANOTHER image entered into my mind I did not want to have!

We laughed together a few more moments and then I got serious. "You really are leaving?" I asked not terribly happy with that prospect.

"Yeah, thanks to you assignment completed so back to the office until the next one comes in." She replied. "Speaking of which, I do need to get back and complete my reports. The ravens hate it when paperwork is late so they don't pay out the bonuses on time." She gave me another hug, not as strong as before, which my back was thankful for, but still undeniable in it bond of friendship. Then she turned so I would not see the tears in the maiden of death's eyes even though I read her emotions just as well.

"Send word through Gard if you ever need backup." She said and I just nodded and let her go. The other three stood silently waiting for me to address them which made me feel very self conscious.

"Yeah, now I have to deal with another debt of honor. I hope she does not decide to kick my ass to prove I am worthy of it too." I said looking at Madame Yukihyou as she seemed the most uncomfortable in the presence of the other two. I might as well give her a reprieve by letting her speak next.

"Actually I believe our debt is settled in full." The Snow Leopard replied. "You master helped my grandson find an honorable death against a greater enemy. I provided you the same conditions, though once you action was underway I did not see the need for you to follow it through to conclusion as you were not dying of cancer as he was."

"You saved me?" I asked finding this interesting.

"In part." She said looking toward the Leanansidhe who stood silently judging me as she usually did. "I knew of your alliance with Winter and once I departed from your presence I called to your new magical instructor and explained your intentions. It was she who opened the door to this place and from within opened another door in time to pull you through though it was a rather close thing and at most times hard to monitor your actions." Madame Yukihyou displayed her bandaged hands as evidence of her story.

"I'm sorry…" I started and she stopped me with a glare.

"Worry not, they will heal soon enough." She said. "My time, however, grows short and my purpose was to inform you that our accounts are now mostly balanced and also that your rather drastic action destroyed the majority of your enemy's strength." She seemed to be offering more than my results with the Fomor but was not comfortable speaking in the presence of the others. "Dropping the building appears to have imprisoned or destroyed them. Talk to your sponsor and I sure he or she will have a full account."

"Wait, you said mostly balanced?" I pursued that aspect to turn the subject and because I did not like the emphasis she placed on that word since it was obvious she meant I owed her now.

"Indeed." She said. "I recall you promised me a girl's night out if you lived through this."

"Oh yeah I guess I did." I smiled thinking how unlikely it was that I had. When in doubt go with snark! "Have your people contact my people and we will set something up." I said with a laugh that raised her eyebrow.

"That or just give me a call the next time you are in town." I ended with more dignified seriousness.

"I shall do so. Oh and the cloaked one remains at the consulate as you requested. I decided since you had lived to return the decision of her fate to you to solve as you see fit." She said and turned to regard the other two waiting for me. "I would also warn you to beware of these two. I fear each has their own plans for you." She said then nodded to each in grudging respect offered to a rival rather than a compatriot or friend.

"Of course we do my dear." Leanansidhe said as the Snow Leopard walked right past her. "I do not believe I ever suggested anything less." For her part Madame Yukihyou chose to ignore this comment and departed for her own lands.

I looked to Lea. "Care to enlighten me on these plans?" I asked.

"Why my dear what do you think we have been doing all this time?" She said with that cat toying with a mouse tone of hers. "I plan to train you my dear as Harry should have."

"That is a means to a goal not an ends." I pointed out.

"The way you take after Harry I would say it quite possibly could be an ends as you so nearly demonstrated this evening." She smiled. Okay touché I had nearly gotten myself killed but that did not mean there was not more there under the surface of her words. Faeries were great at taking conversations off their intended course. So I pursued.

"Training me is all you are looking for Lea?" I asked more directly.

"Well of course I am always in the market for another dog." She said without a hint of reservation. For much of their early relationship The Leanansidhe had tried to transform Harry into one of her hunting dogs. According to him, that was her favorite punishment for those who crossed or irritated her.

I got to experience that particular effect in Mexico. The most disturbing part was how after even a short period of time I could feel my mind wanting to surrender my identity and become a dog. I had little doubt had she kept us transformed I would have forgotten who I was before long. I was horrified by this but even so that now provided me with a potential solution to a remaining problem.

"Speaking of your canine collection I have just the candidate for you." I said. "There is a former White Council Warden at the Japanese consulate who sided with our enemies. I defeated and took her prisoner instead of killing her because I sought justice. I now believe a formal execution in this case would draw too much undesirable attention…"

I looked to the last person waiting to speak with me noting that his emotions did not seem to fluctuate with this though it was obvious he understood what I had in mind. "So instead of death I think she would make you a loyal and wonderful hound." Upon speaking my words I was not sure which of the remaining two showed the more surprise.

"That is a substantive gift you offer me child." Leanansidhe said looking for the trap; when dealing with Faeries there is always a trap.

"Consider it payment for what you have taught me so far." I responded in turn. "This way I do not have to kill her and yet I know she will not be coming after me for revenge either."

"Well then I accept this wondrous gift." She said coming forward toward me. "I have news for you as well but let me first give you a hug for this gift and for surviving and therefore not wasting all my time spent training you." She said loudly as she pulled me in tight and whispered right in my ear. "Harry is alive at Arctis Tor!" She held me close to keep me standing as my entire world spun with those six words.

With another watching, someone who would equally desire this news but probably not for the same reasons, she continued her act. "You would also like to know I was informed a short while ago that a Svartalf by the name of Mr. Etri would like to offer you a fifty year rent free lease for a place of your own. Supposedly he has numerous properties for you to choose from. I recommend you take him up on it as I do not think living on the street is appropriate for you any longer child. Finding someplace nice you can call your own or to entertain visitors seems a much better option."

She turned and looked to the last guest. "And you can be assured that the Svartalfar place a high premium on the security of their guests so it would truly be a safe place for you to unwind and continue your studies."

"Why?" I asked overwhelmed still by the news on Harry but even so this would have been pretty big itself.

"Much like your other friends the Svartalfar have this rather outdated view on the importance of honor." She said obviously disapproving. "What was the term the term the bird-woman used? Ah yes, he offers you this to balance out the 'debt of honor' between you and his people." I was struck speechless by all Lea had told me.

A place to call my own? Yeah I admit I focused on the smaller revelation first as it was easier to get my head around. It was exactly what I needed. It was space where I could feel safe and be myself, space where I could have friends over even, and finally a place where I could heal myself. I could feel myself crying from just this.

I locked away the thoughts that Harry was alive as I looked over at my last guest, The Gatekeeper, but said nothing. He had told me in the hotel room that he too was a sensitive wizard which meant if I was not careful I could let on what Lea had gone to great acting lengths to hide without lying since she could not. I pulled up a little magic and cast an emotional calming spell upon myself causing The Gatekeeper's hood to cock to the side ever so slightly at my action. I turned back to Lea.

"Is there anything else Lea?" I asked.

"No my dear, beyond my standing request that you not continue to take such foolish risks." She said. "With all my training I have high hopes and plans for you. It would be extremely inconvenient now to have you die." That was as close to warm emotions as Winter Court Fae ever get.

"Yeah it would." I agreed. She winked at me and without another word turned and left not even looking at The Gatekeeper as she departed. For his part he ignored her as well and instead just stared at me in his silent judgment mode. I swear he should patent that look.

"They say you can judge a person by the friends they keep." The Gatekeeper began.

"I thought it was by the enemies they made." I countered with a bit of a smile.

"That is a completely different 'they' I imagine." He laughed. "However, I believe in this case by measurements under both of those rulers you are a rather extraordinary young woman Ms. Molly Carpenter…and even a passable apprentice wizard."

"Gee thanks…"

"I figure it is only fair to tell you as that is what my report on this incident will say." He replied.

"Great more test results for the White Council to judge me by." I said less than happy as I'd probably be told right before they killed me that there were hundreds of things I could have done in this situation that would have been far more effective and far less dangerous to those around me. Damn Monday morning quarterbacks!

"Not the White Council." The Gatekeeper replied. "That other group of which I, make that 'we,' belong." He said the 'we' with obvious respect.

I looked at him trying to find the right way to say what I wanted to say but the words were just evading me. Meanwhile The Gatekeeper seemed to read my frustration and chose again to say nothing which never really helps. I hate having people staring at me in silence so I just blurted it out.

"I can't do it!" I said. "It is too much responsibility. It is too much temptation." While I live a small part of me will always know that were I to desire it I could call out to Barter and accept his deal, freeing him to make me stronger." I did not want to be The Hulk. Hell I had power just being Peter Parker with the whole strength and responsibility thing.

"I understand." He said and from the wave of calming and empathetic emotion I felt from him I knew that he really did. I also knew that he had either faced or was in the same situation I was only instead of one such being at his call he probably had his original eleven and who knows how many more just like them over the centuries.

"How do you deal with it?" I asked at last hoping he would have a solution that I did not.

"I do not fight it." He said. "I use it as a reminder of mistakes I made so as to not make them again. They give me the strength to resist."

"Well that may work for you but I did not…" Oh crap I almost blurted out the wrong thing to the wrong guy.

"But you did not set them free upon this world as I did?" He said finishing my thought? "No you did not. You do not have all the blood on your hand for all the evil deeds they have performed. You do not have the memories of the once good wizards that had to die to stop them."

We sat in awkward silence for a long time then when The Gatekeeper finally spoke it was not what I was expecting. "Did Wizard Dresden ever tell you about his mother?"

Holy crap where the hell did that come from?

"Uuuummm… he told me a little… her name was Margaret like mine… and she was phenomenal with knowing The Ways." I said which was most of what Harry had said about her to me. Of course I had lots of other data now from the original source but I was not sharing.

"Did he tell you she was a sensitive wizard like the two of us?" He asked me as he finally sat down crossed legged to allow me to do the same since I had nearly died recently. I kneeled down on the ground once more feeling shifting sand under the carpets. Yep, sphinx…desert…

"I think I heard that somewhere." I said though making sure I was coming across as less than clear on where and when I heard this.

"It was my hope when I first heard of her power and talent that I would be able to train her as my replacement one day." He said.

"What?" I asked.

"WHAT?" Margaret's voice asked in my head too.

"As I told you my responsibilities require a sensitive magical basis more so than combat magic." He replied. "Margaret Dresden was considered a child protégé in this area, and where her rebellious nature was considered dangerous by many, I saw it as an asset."

"Why didn't he tell me this?" She asked in my mind.

"Shhh!" I scolded her. "Why didn't you tell her this?"

"I intended to but before I could The Merchant surfaced again and I went to stop him." He continued. "By the time I returned after many years she had left us. Of all the damage that the Outsiders have exacted in my life I often think that preventing me from speaking with her was perhaps the most costly to us all. I wonder how different the White Council would be today if I had provided some shelter and protection when she required it?"

"Why tell me this now?" I asked.

"Because I see her in you Molly." Please tell me he was merely using a metaphor.

"I see all the potential and passion she had now reborn in you. Your Jade Court friend was correct. I have what I would say are hopes rather than intentions for you to take up my mantle one day. In part because of the enemies we fight may prove stronger, but in part that I am growing tired. I fight for a world but one which I am now as much a spectator, almost an outsider, as those I battle. It is not the same for you."

I did not know how to respond to that and thankfully I did not have to as he continued.

"You want to know how to resist the temptation now inside you?" He asked and I merely nodded. "Remember who you are. Remember what you choose to be. Remember the people you love. I promise you that if you keep that in mind, you will never use that power you fear."

"It is not as easy as that." I said. "If someone I loved were in trouble I might use it to save them." I reasoned.

"You might indeed…" He said. "You might become the very monster you fear. But I bet the person Knight of the Cross Michael Carpenter and warrior in her own right Charity Carpenter gave birth to is made of stronger stuff. Furthermore I bet the fires that Wizard Dresden has tempered you with have made you even stronger…stronger than you know."

"You bet? What? My soul?"

"No I would bet this world and all of existence on an apprentice wizard." He said smoothly.

"That is not very encouraging."

"It was not meant to be. It was meant to be challenging."

We both were silent once more until he spoke. "I can offer you the silver bullet you seek though in this case a bullet is probably an apt metaphor." He said.

"The temptation exists only because of your memory of these events allows for it." He said. "You have the ability to erase those memories in yourself even if it would be wrong for you to do it in others. If you truly fear what you may become I suggest that is the better course of action." I know he had no clue about how Harry had me mess with his mind. That was not something that turned out well. Now he was suggesting I could do the same to my own.

"But won't it leave gaps?"

"Large holes most certainly, hence the bullet." He said. "Days of your life intertwined with these events will be lost to you forever. That is the unfortunate price necessary to pay for the safety you seek."

I sat in silence considering his words and all I would lose, but also the sense of security I would gain. I could not decided; not yet at least. "Why did you come here?" I asked.

"To praise your success and thank you for finishing a task that I had been unable to." He said. "I also wanted to offer you a ride home. It is sort of on my way."

"Really?" I laughed. "Chicago is on the way to the Outer Gates?"

"Everywhere is on the way to that destination because time does not mean the same thing there."

His use of time struck a chord in my memory of a promise made. "Speaking of time, what time is it back in Chicago?"

"It is late afternoon, why?"

"Then yes I will accept your invitation for a lift. I need you to drop me off somewhere…"

They really need to put some oil on these hinges I thought to myself as their squeaking from the big door I pulled open echoed in the room beyond making the nearly dozen or so heads present turn in my direction. Talk about an awkward moment. And that was before I even realized that I was still wearing my kimono from the previous night. I can say that choice of attire raised an eyebrow or two.

"Ummm… sorry… please continue." I said as I walked into the room to a combination of shaking heads and smiles. There were even a few screams of excitement from the Jawas as my father stood up so they could race up to embrace me all at once in a series of hugs. My father was the last in the group scooping us all together in his tight embrace and thanking me in his eyes without saying a word.

Only my mother Charity did not stand up and do the same, but this was because my newest adopted sister Little Maggie was curled up and sleeping in her arms. Mom did look at me though and was not embarrassed to let me see tears of happiness streaming down her face.

"Can I get on with this?" My sister Amanda said up at the altar kneeling next to Father Forthill who was performing her First Communion.

"Sure sis." I said taking a seat between mom and dad with Little Harry sitting on my lap and the rest of my clan finding reasons to touch me and assure themselves I was here.

"Ehhh, Family!" Amanda said with obvious frustration, especially at having to wear that horrible dress mom had no doubt picked out for her.

"Yep…Family…" I whispered to myself too and for that moment at least I was at peace and whole.

The End