Disclaimer; I do not own Kingdom hearts or any of its characters. Neither do
I own ANY of the characters in here. this is also random and pointless and everyone is so out of character. And
BE PREPARED
CHAPTER ONE; Medieval Meals and Sound effects language
In the grey area in the castle the never was in the world that never was in the story that never was everyone was just hanging about, minding their own business when suddenly...
Prince charming from Shrek: *appears* *dramatic music* Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, and throughout the land everyone was happy, until the sun went down, and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment that took hold each and every night.
Roxas: Hey! How did he get here?
Prince Charming: I'll have the medieval meal!
Marluxia: Oh! Hey Prince Charming!
Larxene: Wait, you know this guy?
Prince Charming: [waving his sword] Tell me where he is, Mother! I will wrench his head from his shoulders - I will smite him where he stands - HE WILL RUE THE VERY DAY HE STOLE MY KINGDOM AWAY FROM ME!
[a bird sheds its droppings on him]
Everyone except Marluxia: o.O
Roxas: Hey! Since when do we have birds in the world that never was? And how did it even get here?
Marluxia: Anyway, Prince Charming how about we go and get ourselves a pedicure?
Prince Charming: Oh! Thank you mother!
Everyone except marly: o.O
Larxene; YOU'RE HIS MOTHER?
Marluxia: Me? Of course not! He can only speak his lines from the movie. Lets go charming!
P. Charming: Onward, Chauncey! To the highest room of the tallest tower, where my princess awaits rescue by the handsome Prince Charming!
*Marluxia and Charming Exit the castle*
Everyone; o.O
Xemnas; *comes barging in grey area with a large bowl of popcorn* WHATS ALL THAT*burp* RACKET! *burp*DID I JUST HEAR PRINCE *burp* CHARMING?
Xaldin: *imitating the penguin dude from Madagascar* You didn't see anything... *backs into a portal*
* knock at the door*
Saix; *opens door* Oh the mails here! And you know what that means! Vexen! Cue the mail song!
Vexen; As always Saix, *a c.d player magically appears and he presses the play button*
*freaky music*
Vexen; I know that your powers of retention
Are as wet as a warthog's backside
But thick as you are, pay attention
My words are a matter of pride
Mailman; *drops package, screams and runs for his life*
Vexen; It's clear from your vacant expressions The lights are not all on upstairs
But we're talking kings and successions
Even you can't be caught unawares
So prepare for a chance of a lifetime
Be prepared for sensational news
A shining new era
Is tiptoeing nearer
Zexion; And where do we feature?
Vexen; Just listen to teacher!
I know it sounds sordid
But you'll be rewarded
When at last I am given my dues
And injustice deliciously squared
Be prepared!
Demyx; Yeah, Be prepared.
Yeah-heh... we'll be prepared, heh.
...For what?
Vexen; For the death of the king.
Demyx; Why? Is he sick?
Vexen; No, fool- we're going to kill him. And Simba too.
Zexion; Great idea! Who needs a king?
Zexion and Demyx; No king! No king! la-la-la-la-laa-laa!
Vexen; Idiots! There will be a king!
Demyx; Hey, but you said, uh...
Vexen; I will be king! ...Stick with me, and
you'll never go hungry again!
Zexion and Demyx; Yaay! All right! Long live the king!
Zexion Demyx and Roxas; Long live the king! Long live the king!
Vexen; It's great that we'll soon be connected.
With a king who'll be all-time adored.
Vexen; Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected
To take certain duties on board
The future is littered with prizes
And though I'm the main addressee
The point that I must emphasize is
You won't get a sniff without me!
So prepare for the coup of the century
Axel, Larxene and Xigbar; Oooh!
Vexen; Be prepared for the murkiest scam
Axel, Larxene and Xigbar; Oooh... La! La! La!
Vexen; Meticulous planning
Demyx; We'll have food!
Vexen; Tenacity spanning
Zexion; Lots of food
Vexen; Decades of denial
Roxas; We repeat
Vexen; Is simply why I'll
Zexion; Endless meat
Vexen; Be king undisputed
Axel, Larxene and Xigbar; Aaaaaaah...
Vexen; Respected, saluted
Larxene, Axel and Xigbar; ...aaaaaaah...
Vexen; And seen for the wonder I am
Axel, Larxene and Xigbar; ..aaaaaaah!
Vexen; Yes, my teeth and ambitions are bared
Axel, Larxene and Xigbar; Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
Vexen; Be prepared!
Everyone; Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared
Be prepared!
Saix; Alright! Now time to open the package! *picks it up and sees who its for on the address label*
Roxas; Who's it for? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Vexen; Ah... that song never gets old..
Roxas; Why do we always sing a song about being prepared before we open the mail?
Axel; Because Roxas, you never know what can be inside that package.
Roxas; But the song is about a scary looking lion named Scar trying to be king! What does that have to do with mail?
Saix; Its for me! *rips open box like a child on Christmas day and a bird in a small golden cage in inside* Oh, look. A golden-throated small-winged warbler. Just one more for exotic bird bingo. I am loving this!
Axel; Another bird Saix?
Saix; *takes bird cage and runs away* MY BIRDIE! *crashes into wall and falls down and bird cage rolls away*
Larxene: whats this about exotic bird bingo? *walks over to cage and picks it up*
Axel: That Larxene, is something I do not want to find out.
Roxas; Another birdie? OH! I want one! Can I get a pet birdie? Huh? Can I! Can I?
*jumps up and down over and over again*
Zexion; *smacks Roxas with his Lexicon*
Roxas: *faints*
Zexion; Surely, you must have known that this was going to happen...
Riku; *randomly appears* Why would I know?
Xigbar: Hey! Its Riku! My main village man!
Riku; *takes off blind fold* I'm Ansem! *puts it back on* I'm Riku! *takes it off* I'm Ansem! *puts it on* I'm Riku!
Zexion; *smacks Riku with Lexicon* Two idiots down now the rest of the Organization to go.
Riku: *faints*
Larxene: You're calling me an idiot?
Zexion; Of course.
Larxene; *throws bird cage at Axel and summons her kunai and is about to chase him when suddenly...*
A guy whistling, named Ted; *appears and walks around*
Larxene: who's that?
Demyx; Its Ted! Ted! Ted! Ted! Ted!
Whistling Ted; *continues to walk around ignoring Demyx*
Roxas; How did he get here? And how is everyone appearing in this Castle and why do all you people think its normal?
Larxene; You know him?
Xemnas; YOU! GET OUT OF MY *burps* CASTLE! NOW! *throws popcorn bowl on the floor*
Luxord; Calm down Superior this is just my gambling buddy, whistling Ted!
Demyx; Hey, don't I know you?
Whistling Ted; I... I don't think so.
Demyx; Wrestled you in high school?
Whistling Ted; I don't remember that, no.
Demyx; Metal shop? Oh, I know, Miss Nalca's interpretive dance, two semesters. I was usually in the back because of my weak ankles. C'mon, you gotta help me out here!
Whistling Ted; Look, I don't think we've ever met, but... I gotta go. *disappears*
Demyx; Don't worry, I'll think of it!
Luxord; Demyx! You scared away my buddy!
Xemnas; HE DOESNT *burp* BELONG IN MY CASTLE!
Demyx; aw, sorry Luxy, I thought I knew him
Luxord; For that, I shall battle you in a good ol' game of go fish. *grabs a deck of cards from his cloak pocket*
Demyx; I love go fish! Except, there is never any fishies!
Luxord; That's why I use my premium Ultra Mega Deluxe splishy splashy edition deck for Go fish.
Demyx; Oh sounds fancy!
Luxord; As always. *sits down at a nearby table and shuffles deck*
Roxas; Hey! how did that table get there?
Demyx; *takes a seat at the table across from Luxord*
Luxord; that is none of your concern Roxas.
Roxas; Oh okay, Hey Axel wanna get an ice cream?
Zexion; Wait a second, Two seconds ago you were laying on the floor unconscious.
Roxas; I know, right? Anything can happen in a Fan Fiction!
Zexion; What are you even talking about?
Roxas; You see, were in a story that some random person is typing right now and people around the world are reading this! Isn't that amazing?
Zexion; Roxas, where did you get that stupid idea?
Roxas; Its not my fault ForeverAnd Always221 made me say it!
Zexion; who's that?
Roxas; I really don't know... but anyway, ice cream Axel?
Axel; Sure! My buddy ol' pal!
*Link appears*
Link; HIYA HIYA HIYA HIYA! *does crazy sword slashes in the air*
Roxas; what the?
Xigbar; Hey there Link!
Link; HIYA HIYA HIYA HIYA!
Roxas; Is that all he says?
Xigbar; Its sound effects language, only certain people can understand it.
Zexion; Like, idiots?
Xigbar; I think so.. hold on let me read the 'Only Idiots Can Understand Sound Effects Language' Manual. *pulls out book from cloak pocket and puts on reading glasses that magically appeared*
Zexion; *face palm*
Xigbar; *skims through pages in the book*
Demyx; Have any nines Luxy?
Luxord; Go fish Demyx, now Demyx do you have any nines?
Demyx; Yeah! How did you know Luxy? You're really good at this game! *hands him a 9 of diamonds*
Luxord; Its in the cards Demyx, it's in the cards..
Axel; *whispers to Larxene* Demyx is such an idiot sometimes...
Larxene; You mean all the time?
Axel; Yeah that too.
Xigbar; I cant find anything in this book that has to do with certain people interpreting this language...
Zexion; *face palm* Xigbar, read the title.
Xigbar; Why what good will that do?
Link; *does spin attack and cuts off some white flowers in a white vase from their stems*
MEANWHILE AT THE PEDICURE PLACE...
Marluxia; Suddenly I have the urge to eliminate an elf like creature named Link that wears a green dress and speaks sound effects language...
Prince Charming; Uh... FYI. Not my fault!
Axel; good thing Marluxia wasn't here to see that...
Link; HIYA HIYA HIYA HIYA HIYA HIYA *swings sword around dangerously close to Xigbar and cuts off about 2 feet of hair*
Xigbar; NOOOOOOOOOO! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!
Axel; dude, chill you needed a haircut man.
Xigbar; *chases Link around with his arrow guns*
Link; *takes out his hook shot from his item pouch that can magically carry just about anything and hook shots his guns out of his hands*
Xigbar; I JUST POLISHED THOSE!
Link; *suddenly disappears*
Xigbar; NOOOO! My BABIES! *falls on floor and cries* WHY KINGDOM HEARTS? WHY?
Larxene; Don't be such a baby Xigbar, you can easily summon your weapons back.
Xigbar; Why didn't I think of that earlier?
Zexion; Because that is the same reason why only you and that elf thing can understand sound effects language.
Luxord; I WIN! OH YEAH! *gets out of his chair and dances on the table*
Demyx; How did I lose?
Zexion; The same reason as to why Xigbar didn't think of summoning his arrow guns.
Demyx; And that is...?
Axel; *face palm* If you haven't figured it out already Demyx its because you're... uh.. how do I put this in words...?
Zexion; Stupid?
Axel; yeah that's it! except I was thinking of something more ya know not that harsh.
Zexion; He can deal with it.
Jack Sparrow: *barges through the wall like kool aid man* OH YEAH! MATES!
Everyone; o.O
Roxas; Hey! It's Jack!
Jack; Captain Jack Sparrow if you please.
Xemnas; YOU! *burp* LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO *burp* MY CASTLE! YOU'VE BARGED RIGHT*burp* THROUGH IT!
Jack; Oh, sorry about that mates
Xaldin; Im hungry! I WANT PANCAKES PANCAKES PANCAKES PANCAKES PANCAKES!
Vexen; Then make some
Xaldin; *runs around in circles* PANCAKES PANCAKES PANCAKES PANCAKES!
Zexion; Will somebody shut him up?
Jack; *sits on couch and turns on their t.v*
T.V: With your friends and your easy bake! *shows an easy bake oven spinning around with some magical music*
Jack; that looks interesting... very interesting...
Xemnas; EASY BAKE? WHERE?
Larxene; *grabs remote and shuts off t.v* This is why he's not allowed to watch t.v...
Roxas; Why do we even have a t.v?
Axel; Roxas.. you ask far too many questions...
Roxas; Hey weren't we suppose to get an ice cream?
Xemnas; *eyes glow and dances around in circles looking possessed* WITH MY FRIENDS AND MY EASY BAKE!
Everyone except Jack; o.O
What will happen next? tune in next time for another exciting adventure of organization 13! *heroic music*
Oh and the idea of the discussion Demyx had with whistling Ted about if he knew him, comes from the movie Emperors new groove. Same with
the golden-throated small-winged warbler. The be prepared song comes from the lion king and yes, scar is scary thats why I made vexen sing it.