Stepsiblings (the other stories)

A Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl

Summary: [Not the best. Rated for violence, I guess.] Dumping ground for the darker Stepsiblings stories that I didn't want to be as closely associated with the main series. Rated for violence, I guess.

Introduction: My Stepsiblings series is based on an alternate universe where Saïx & Xion are siblings whose father got re-married, this time to the mother of Axel & Roxas. So the four of them are now all stepsiblings.

The main series is essentially cute AkuSaiRokuShi fluff, but there were also some disturbing developments... For example, when I decided to let Sai & Xi's father be a very skewed version of Xemnas, it kind of naturally followed that I would include my cargo ship, Xemnas/KingdomHearts. *sweatdrop* And the way I personified Kingdom Hearts, she ended up being mentally ill, which led to some unpleasant incidents in Saïx's childhood. Not to mention Sai's other relatives, which include Xehanort, Xigbar, and Vanitas; even this weird OOC version of Xemnas is not fun, either.

Then I also had Axel... Lea (his mom) wasn't a great character to begin with, but there was a vague implication in Another Side (Axel's version of the "pilot episode") that gave me the idea she might be an abusive mother. She's not systematic or cold-blooded about it, it's just that she's not good at controlling her temper, and Axel kind of provokes her a lot. So that ended up extremely unpleasant as well, especially when I was trying to figure out how to account for Axel's tattoos and Saïx's facial scars in this universe. *sigh*

Anyway, so this and some other stuff led me to decide that there was too much dark material, I didn't want it too close to the main series and messing up my OT4 fluff. So I'm going to be lumping the darker stories all together so they'll be easy to identify and avoid.

Scars (ROUGH DRAFT)

Summary: Saïx and Axel didn't exactly have ideal mothers.

A/N: Warning for two definite instances of child abuse and several more debatable ones, and for swearing in one scene. I have a rule that I never let characters cuss onscreen except, ironically, in religious contexts, but I felt like I had to make an exception this time.

Part 1

He was playing cars. Mommy was watching him somewhere, but he didn't think about it. Then he heard her footsteps but before he could turn around she pushed him back on the floor and held him down with her hands on his face.

'Oh no,' he thought. This again.

She held him for a long time, staring and staring and staring, touching his face with her hand. He didn't like it. It didn't hurt, but he knew it would if he tried to get away, so he stayed still. He wished she would stop. He wanted to tell her to stop, but sometimes when he talked to her when she was staring, it hurt, so he was afraid to say anything, either.

"Children have such perfect skin," she whispered, touching. He couldn't move. "You are perfect."

He knew he wasn't.

"My baby," she whispered again, "you could be so perfect, if not for those eyes..."

He shut them quickly, before she could push her fingers in them.

She stopped touching. It was quiet, and quiet, and quiet. He couldn't stay still, couldn't stop shaking, but he tried.

"Look at me," she said, loud and sharp like she was hitting him, so he opened his eyes again but he knew it was going to hurt so he could feel himself crying.

"Please, Mommy," he said.

She smiled. His chest stopped feeling so tight. She didn't hurt him when she smiled. "You're so frightened, aren't you, baby," she said, touching his face again, pushing his hair back. "That's good. When you're frightened, you can't hurt us."

She sighed and sat up. He got up to run, but she said "Sit down" in the hitting voice. He fell down again, and he wanted to run so bad but she would punish him if he did and he wanted to hide, to disappear so she couldn't find him.

"Look at me."

He looked at her and wished he could stop crying. She put her hand under his chin so he couldn't look down. "I love you," she said.

"I l-love you very much," he said.

She reached out her other hand and she was holding his face between her hands now and he couldn't get away. "I love the real Saïx," she said. Her hand moved to his chest. "The Saïx in here. The Saïx you're supposed to be." Her hands reached for his eyes. He shut them again and tried to put his hands over them to protect them.

"Yes," she said. "The other Saïx lives in you, he looks at me through your eyes and he wants to hurt me, but I won't let him, baby..."

He was shaking again, wishing he knew how to find the other Saïx. He would find the other Saïx and make him go away so Mommy wouldn't be scared anymore and wouldn't want to hurt him. He didn't know where to find the other Saïx, though. He didn't feel like two Saïxes, just like one.

Her hand touched his face below his hands covering his eyes. "I don't know what to do with you, baby," she said. "I don't know how to set you free. Maybe if I take you Home with me, he can't come with us and he'll be left behind, and I can keep the real you to myself forever...I promise I'll love you forever..."

Part 2

He was hungry. He put down the toys and went to the living room, where Mom was watching TV AGAIN. He wondered what would happen if Mom didn't have her TV. He wanted to take his baseball bat and smash it right through the TV just to see what she would do. Except he kind of knew what she would do, so he wouldn't try. Though he still wanted to smash the TV just to see her face and laugh... Argh, it was so hard to be good sometimes.

"Mom, I'm hungry." No answer. 'She's ignoring me. AS USUAL. ... Mom, don't ignore me.' "Mom," he yelled, grabbing her arm and yanking on it, "I'm HUNGRY! Be a real mom and cook me dinner!"

She yanked her arm out of his hand and hit him without looking, so her fingers kind of slapped across his face. It didn't really hurt. Well, it did. It was his chest that hurt, though, not his face. "Mommmmmm," he whined, moving back so she couldn't reach him when she tried to hit him again.

Finally she turned around. "Leave me alone," she yelled. "I'm busy."

"You're watching TV," he yelled back. "Real moms don't sit on their fat butts and watch TV all day!" Her face was getting ugly, but she wasn't getting up yet so even though he was scared he went on yelling, because even though he was scared he was kind of excited, too. 'Pay attention to me.' "Real moms cook dinner for their kids because they love them! You don't love me! You don't feed me! I'm gonna call CPS again and they're gonna take me away because you're a bad mo-!"

Crap crap crap she was getting up and he ran but she was bigger and faster and crap maybe if I run out of the apartment but the knob's too high and she's grabbing me and ow my hand the knob hurt my hand no NO NO NO

She dragged him back, "NO!" he screamed, "I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it, don't-!"

Smack. It stung. He was mad at her because it hurt, but it didn't hurt that much, and... 'Pay attention to me, Mom,' a voice in his mind whispered.

She was smacking him harder, and now it really did hurt. "Mom-" he tried to gasp, but he couldn't breathe, she was hurting him.

The tears were pushing hard at his eyes, and he suddenly thought that maybe if he cried, she might feel bad and stop. That had worked before. He stopped holding back. "M...Mom-my," he sobbed, and she stopped.

"Don't even start," she growled. "Don't even start, Axel Yunoki, I know exactly what you're doing."

Rage. "That's not my name!" he screamed at her, because it wasn't, it wasn't. Dads weren't real dads when they ran away and left your mom all alone. He didn't want any part of that person, not his face or his name or anything, because that person should go jump off a cliff and die. "My name is Axel Deucalion Hayes and don't you ever call me that again, don't you ever call me that again!"

Her fingers twisted tight in his hair, he couldn't move even though he wanted to jump up and punch her. "I'll call you what I want," she hissed. "You be a good son and I'll be a good mother. You be like your father, and I call you after your father."

He was so mad, so so so so mad, WHY was he crying, he didn't want to cry he was so mad he wanted to BURN SOMETHING. "I'M AXEL HAYES," he screamed. "Don't ever ever ever-!"

She grabbed his arms again and started to drag him off.

"No," he gasped, "no, no, no, I- Please, Mom, I-"

She swung him around and they stood there glaring at each other, breathing hard, his skin turning white where she was squeezing his arms. "Be good," she hissed.

He sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm himself down like they'd taught him. 'One, two, three, four, five, six, seven...' He wasn't crying anymore but he could still feel the tears drying on his face, and he hated how it felt, he wanted to scrub them away. "Mom, I'm hungry," he said tightly.

Part 3

The first time he saw Mommy after the accident, he covered his face. "I'm sorry, Mommy," he tried to tell her, hoping maybe if he was sorry she wouldn't be mad.

Her voice was soft and sweet. "Let me see, baby."

"N...No, please." His throat was too tight, it was hard to talk.

"They told me you hurt your face."

She knew. He trembled as she gently took his hands and pulled them away from his face. "I'm not perfect anymore," he whispered.

She stared at him for so long. She reached up, and he flinched, but all she did was stroke his cheek.

"I can't believe this happened," she murmured. Her fingertips touched the edge of one scar, traced up, back down, moved along the other scar. Over and over again. "How did this happen...?"

'You did it. You did this to me. I tried to be perfect because you wanted me to be perfect, but now I can't be and it's your fault.' "We didn't go Home like you wanted," he said miserably. He should be sad about that, but he wasn't. He was glad. He could never tell her that, though. "The...the other...Saïx...is still...here."

Her fingers tightened on his face, just a little, and he shut his eyes.

"He won't let us go so easily," she said flatly. "Well...I'll just have to think of something else." She leaned down and kissed his face, where the scars crossed each other. He shivered. "It's his fault you're ruined, baby, but don't worry. I'll think of something."

Part 4

She never hit him in front of Ven anymore, not after the time she'd smacked him in the kitchen for something dumb, it hadn't even hurt, but suddenly Ven was like, "Lea, that was uncalled for!" in this shocked voice, and they'd both turned and found him watching in the doorway. She'd gone all simpering and gooey like she usually did around Ven and then let Axel have it later, after Ven had left for work.

"It's not my fault he decided to walk in right then!" he yelled.

"If you'd just stop driving me crazy!" she'd yelled back.

It was...weird. Ven had sat him down later and had this serious dumb talk, and Axel was like, "Yeah, okay, mm-hm, sure, fine" until Ven finally gave up and left him alone. Well...maybe he was right? Maybe. Still, it was just weird. Axel was used to it.

It wasn't like it even hurt. Most of the time. Most of the time she wasn't serious. He had to be really bad, and push those exact buttons he knew how to press, and she had to be really mad...

It was one of the times he'd gotten suspended for bringing a lighter to school. Somehow it went from that to her being pregnant.

"When are you going to grow up? You're gonna be a big brother, Axel! You gonna role model that kind of thing for Roxas and get him thrown in jail just like you're gonna be someday?"

"Just 'cuz I'm a pyro doesn't mean I'm gonna end up in jail, Mom! Geez!"

"Stop saying that! Only stupid idiot kids would brag about getting kicked out of school 24/7 in freaking fifth grade, and always stealing those stupid lighters and getting me in trouble and-"

"I don't steal them, people just give them to me."

"And I suppose you're just going to give Roxas lighters and blow all of us up one day because you're too stupid and immature to-"

"Roxas, Roxas, Roxas! Shut up about Roxas already!"

"Don't you tell me to shut up!"

"Because you go ON AND ON AND ON about him! Who CARES about him? What's so SPECIAL about him? He's not even freaking BORN yet, he's an IT, and maybe he'll never be a he because you're gonna screw up and he'll get born too early all bloody and dead just like you killed all the other-"

Her face had gone blank with rage but he was too furious himself to notice and she seized him by the hair and slammed his face into the table as hard as she could. She'd yanked back and smashed his head down again but not as hard this time, and then she just stood there and finally his brain stopped fitzing and he put his hand up to his face. It hurt. Not at first, but now it hurt so much. He took his hand away and was shocked to see all the blood smeared on it, and she let go of his hair.

The table was a mess like it always was. He saw now what had gashed him, its sharp point shining crimson with his blood, and now it stung like fire under his eye and he could feel the blood starting to trickle down his neck.

"I'm calling 9-1-1," she said in this flat, dead voice. She picked up the phone and then put it down again and knelt down in front of him and took the hand he wasn't holding on his face and whispered, "Axel, please, please don't tell them I did this, they'll take Roxas away from me and please, just like you lied to that officer please lie for me this time, don't tell them the truth because please, please, I can't lose Ven's baby..."

Part 5

"I'm going to take you Home with me, and I'll love you forever..."

He froze, and a chill seemed to creep through his spine. He moved back down the hall and peeked into the open door where he had heard Mother's voice.

She had Xion on the bed and was holding her down like she had used to hold him, hands on either side of the baby's face, pinning her with her arms, crooning at her, "My beautiful little girl, my sweet, perfect child..."

Xion didn't like it, either. She tried to kick, and she was complaining in her strange baby-talk.

'Don't,' he thought. 'It just makes it worse when you try to get away.'

"Sssshh, shh shh shh shhhh, it's all right, darling, I'll hold you close and protect you forever...I won't let Them get to you, I won't..." Fingertips stroking along a soft, unblemished cheek. "So...so perfect..."

'Xion really is perfect,' he thought. 'She can't frighten Mother. She's more perfect than I could ever be.'

Xion shrieked something.

"Sssshhh," Mother hissed. She was getting angry.

He felt sick. 'Why don't you stay still? Stay still. Smile for her.'

"No!" the baby screeched.

"My darling," Mother said. Still calm. But not for long. "Hush, now. I'm not like Them. I love you. You are...perfect...you will never be like Them..." Fingers reaching for angry blue eyes.

He didn't even realize what he was doing until he had rushed in and started to speak. "Mother, please."

She whirled. "What do you want," she said in her hard voice.

He froze.

Then her face softened, and she knelt down and smiled, holding out her arms. "I'm sorry, my dear. Did I frighten you?"

What should he say?

"Of course I did," she laughed. "I can see it in your eyes. Come here, darling."

He stepped into her arms. She held him and sang to him for a moment. He couldn't stop staring over her shoulder at Xion, who was staring back curiously. If Mother was holding him, she couldn't touch Xion.

Mother pulled back and smiled at him, cupping his face in her hands. He didn't move. He forced himself not to look at Xion anymore, either. 'Eyes on me,' he thought. 'Just me.'

"Forgive me, darling, but it's such a relief to be able to frighten you back," she said affectionately. "Would you like me to play with you?"

"Father's calling," he whispered. The lie felt like chalk dust in his mouth. But Xion was watching. "He wants you right away."

Mother frowned. Her fingers tightened on his face and he flinched, but it was only because she was distracted. "Now..."

"He told me to take Xion to the kitchen," he managed. "I'll...feed her." So many lies. For Xion. Because she was smaller than him, and she didn't know the rules yet. He was her brother now, and he had to help her.

Mother looked at him hard. He forced himself to look back. "Are you lying to me?" she said, and it was as if her voice was piercing him.

"Mother, I love you so much," he said without thinking.

Finally, she pressed her lips to his skin, where the scars crossed. "I can destroy you," her kiss said. "I nearly did once before." Then she got up and went away.

He went to the bed and tried to pick up Xion, but she was so heavy and his limbs felt like water. He sank to the ground with her in his arms, feeling like he had no strength left. "What's wrong with me?" he whispered.

Xion patted his face, and he closed his eyes to protect them. Then he felt her wet mouth press against his jaw. "I love you," her kiss said. "I always will."

Part 6

Crash.

"Why did you do that?" Mom screamed from the kitchen.

"Didn't do it!" Roxas screamed back.

Axel ripped the headphones off and vaulted off the couch. He skidded to a stop in the kitchen doorway and caught himself on the doorpost, taking in the sight of Roxas sitting on the counter kicking his heels against the drawers, and Mom's cake splattered all over the floor.

"That cake was for your father!"

"For me!"

Mom raised her hand.

"Hey, bitch!" Axel shouted.

Mom's head snapped to him.

"Alexa," Roxas said happily.

Axel backed away into the living room again as she stormed at him, 'Don't run don't run don't run,' he told himself, and closed his eyes and turned his head slightly in anticipation of the blow. It didn't come, and he realized she was staring at the scar beneath his eye again. That thing really did come in handy.

"What did you call me?" she hissed instead.

"I called you a bitch," he said readily. "Come on, hit me. Hit me like you were going to hit Roxas. Hit me like you were going to hit that two-year-old kid."

She seized his collar hard. 'Don't run.' He looked her straight in the eye.

Then she backed off. "Don't guilt-trip me. Don't you dare look at me like that and try to guilt-trip me."

"Next time you even think of raising your hand like that to Roxas, I'M going to be the one hitting YOU."

She gripped his chin and stared at him hard. He stared right back. Hands out, open. 'Try me.'

Then she shoved him away from her. "Clean up the kitchen," she hissed. She stormed to her room and slammed the door shut.

Axel went into the kitchen and walked right through the wrecked cake and picked up Roxas and held him tight.

"Made Mommy mad," Roxas told him, a little sheepishly.

Axel tried to answer but he couldn't get the words past the tightness in his throat, so he just held Roxas some more. After a long time, "I love you, kiddo," he finally managed to whisper.

"I want cake."

"Okay." He laughed, even though he felt more like wanting to cry. 'I will never, ever let anyone hurt you.' "Okay. Sure. Let's see if we can try this again..."

Part 7

"Hurry up!" Lea yelled up the stairs, "We're late!"

"Chill!" Axel yelled back, "We're always late for everything!"

"Including her own wedding," Saïx muttered. "I will never understand why I must now be related to you people..."

"Ah, shut up, you're too uptight. Seriously, that was weeks ago."

"Since which time, we've been late to two birthday parties, an awards ceremony, a piano recital, someone else's wedding, enough movies and sports events that I'm losing track-"

"Axel, I can't reach my buttons!" Xion shrieked.

"Give me a minute, I'm busy!" he exclaimed, carefully trying to finish up the vaguely X-shaped symbol he was painting on Roxas's cheek. "Roxas, hold still."

"But it tickles!"

"Axeeeellll!" Xion whined.

Saïx sighed, laying aside the gel bottle he had been using to try to make the stupid wig behave. "Come here, Xion."

"Saïx, fix my buttons!"

"That's what I'm doing, be patient."

The four of them were crowded in the main upstairs bathroom, trying to finish up their costumes.

"Saïx," Axel realized, "you're seriously not gonna wear your glasses to this thing, right?"

"Do you see a contacts case anywhere?" Saïx brushed Xion's hair away from her neck so that it wouldn't get tangled up in the buttons.

"Saïx! You're dressed like Sephiroth! You can't wear glasses!"

"I don't like contacts," he grumbled, leaning rather closer to his task than was necessary.

"Dude, don't give me that, you wore them for the wedding."

"That was my father's wedding," Saïx said in exasperation. "Certain sacrifices were in order."

"Saïx and Axel are fighting again," Xion told Roxas.

"Saïx and Axel are stupid," Roxas agreed. He hopped off the sink into Axel's lap ("Oof!"), and then onto the floor. "Race you!"

"Race you where?" Xion shrieked as she took off after him.

Saïx touched a hand to his forehead in a gesture of longsuffering.

"Aren't they hilarious?" Axel laughed. "Then he frowned. Stop distracting me! Glasses!"

"Axel, you're quite talented at distracting yourself," Saïx said dryly, starting to gather things back into the baskets and boxes they were supposed to be stored in.

Axel pointed a finger in his face. "You know, you wouldn't look nearly as nerdy if you just sucked it up and switched to contacts all the time."

"Axel. In case you haven't noticed, my family has a genetic predisposition to a certain visual condition. It makes corrective lenses almost more trouble than they're worth. The glasses themselves are irritating enough, I can barely see through the distortion when I have to use contacts."

Axel paused. "Really?"

Saïx silently started stacking the supplies back in the cabinet.

Axel shook his head. "See, this is why teachers are liars and reading is actually bad for you."

"..."

Axel frowned. "Saïx?"

"Yes," Saïx said hollowly, his back still turned as he went on tidying up. "I strained my vision from reading too much."

There was a distinctly ironic tone to that statement. Something was wrong. Axel finally got up and tried to get on Saïx's other side. It was more difficult than it should have been. "Saïx, stop that. Look at me."

"We're running late." Saïx started to turn for the door, but Axel grabbed his arm.

"Why do you need glasses, Sai?"

Saïx was quiet for a long time. Then he finally lifted his head, looked at Axel straight on, and said steadily, "My mother found my eyes disturbing."

Axel's mouth was suddenly dry. "Wh...What?"

"She didn't like my eyes. What more do you want to hear?"

Axel was staring at him. "Y'mean she...?" He suddenly gritted his teeth, his hand clenching around Saïx's arm. "Not enough that she had to cut up your face and try to smash you to death, oh no, not for her-"

"Stop."

Axel ground his teeth together again to keep from flinching. Whatever trouble Saïx might have with his eyes from his end, they were still fully functional for doomgazing purposes.

"Do not speak disrespectfully of my mother."

"I can say what I want about anyone who would do something like that to their own kid," Axel started to growl, but then broke off, astonished and a little uneasy. "Sai?"

Saïx had reached up, softly resting his fingertips against his brother's face. One thumb was pressed against the scar hidden in ink. "Do you feel like telling me why your own mother allowed you to get facial tattoos before you were sixteen years old?"

Axel swallowed. "Touché," he whispered, trying to smile. He hadn't even realized that Saïx had noticed that the tattoos weren't just for decoration. Then he couldn't think of what to say, and he thought that Saïx might move away or say something else, but he simply waited. "She never hurt Roxas. I made sure of that."

Golden eyes narrowed. "And you?"

"Heh. She can't even stand to look at me anymore when I make her mad. The scar was pretty good on its own, she hated it and let me get the tattoos to cover it up, but now it's even worse than before, for her." He smiled in satisfaction. "Besides, I don't even care anymore. I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself."

"...You don't...have to worry about having take care of yourself, you know. Not anymore. At least, not all the ti-" Saïx's eyes widened. "Stop."

"Thanks, Saïx," Axel whispered, still hugging him. "I knew you'd have my back."

"Really, stop. Axel. Axel. Let go, we're going to be late - Axel! Let go!"

o.o.o

Author's Notes: If this story offended anyone, I apologize; and if you thought it was all ridiculous and melodramatic and OOC, I apologize for that, too. I write the ideas that occur to me, I don't always like how they turn out. :/

Okay. For the record. I think corporal punishment is fine, but it has to be done right. You should not administer it when you are angry, and there is a difference between legitimate discipline and abuse. What I wrote about in this story was NOT how I believe it should be done, okay? Okay.

I love Yunoki (from La Corda d'Oro). It's just that it was a little tricky, trying to find someone I liked to be Axel's dad, whom I also didn't mind being a complete jerk. The reason I love Yunoki so much is because he's a complete and total jerk. ^^; At first I thought that his looks were a problem, but now I'm starting to think that his eye color at least might work to my advantage.

Ummm...I think that Sephiroth might actually be a character in this universe, in which case it wouldn't make much sense for Saïx to be cosplaying as him. *sweatdrop*

I had to rewrite Part 7 twice before I finally figured out, on my third try, the best way to present the information. I'll see if I can finish and fix up the two failed attempts as separate drabbles (one of them is much more light-hearted than this story, and the other deals with different, less uncomfortable subject matter).