Title: The Drying Of Your Tears

Fandom: Glee

Pairings: Blaine/Rachel and Sam/Quinn (or blainchelcest and quamcest) as well as Faberry friendship.

Warnings: Includes adult themes, coarse language, mentions of attempted suicide, mental illness and incest.

AN: Title comes from the song Exit Music (For a Film) by Radiohead. Will be multi chaptered. Song quote for this chapter The Last Night by Skillet.

Chapter One

I'm so sick of when they say
It's just a phase, you'll be o.k. you're fine
But I know it's a lie.

She leaves her parents a note, or rather a three page letter documenting everything wrong they've ever committed against her, imagined or otherwise, everything from not allowing her to have a kitten for her fifth birthday to sending the one person she had in her entire miserable existence away to somewhere they refused to tell her.

Blaine's not just her brother, he's her everything, one of her only friends, her soul mate, and the one person to tell her that she's special, beautiful and actually makes her believe it. He's the only person she's ever really loved and now he's gone, because her parents are stupid enough to believe that tearing the two of them apart will solve all their problems. That putting distant between them will stop them from being in love.

She tells them it's their fault really, for leaving them alone so much, for never being around when they were needed, they're the reason Blaine and Rachel only had each other, heaven knows their older brother Cooper got out of the house as soon as he could, barely waiting for the candles to be blown out on his 18th birthday cake before he packed his belongings into the boot of his trunk and hit the road, sporadic phone calls no more than three times a year to let everyone know he was still alive.

They'd been alone, just the two of them for so long, it was only natural that they became each other's whole world.

She pores her heart out in that note, lets them know that they were wrong, that Blaine hadn't been taking advantage of her, that she loved him and even if every other person in the world thought that it was wrong, immoral and sick, she would never believe that their relationship wasn't anything except exactly the way it was supposed to be.

Once she was finished she sealed the note with a gold star, and moved on to do what she had to do next.

She had the oddest sense of calm wash over her as she made her way upstairs to her parents room and into their en-suite, it had been over a week since she'd decided that what she was about to do was really her only option, and since then she'd been too busy planning out every detail to really feel here or there about it.

But now, that there was nothing left to do, no more details that needed ironing out, just the certainty of what was about to happen, and she felt unusually sure about herself and her decision and for the first time, since her parents had shipped her brother off, she feels something akin to serenity wash over her mind. For the first time since they tore her world away from her she feels like everything will turn out fine.

She thanks her lucky stars her mother is a neurotic insomniac and stores bottles upon bottles of different sleeping tablets and tranquilizers in her private bathroom, Seconal, Valium, Xanax and an array of others all lined up in the medicine cabinet readily at her disposal. She grabs a few bottles, doesn't bother to check the labels to see what they are, because she knows she has enough of them to do the trick.

She'd contemplated other methods of course, before settling on an over dose, vanity had always been her biggest downfall, and she can't bear the thought of looking anything less than beautiful even in death, besides she hadn't wanted Blaine to be put through the agony of seeing her body mangled in anyway, she wanted to look perfect for him, wanted to look fresh and lovely the last time he laid his eyes upon her, presuming their parents let him come home for her funeral at all.

She knows this is selfish of her really, to take this way out of the mess and leave him here alone, but she'd told him one night, a night that now seems another lifetime ago, as they were curled together on her bed that she would never be able to live without him, and she'd meant it.

He'll forgive her eventually, once he's moved on and carved out a life for himself, found another girl or boy to love him, she'd always suspected she loved and wanted him more than he wanted her anyway, and once she was out of the picture she's sure her parents will ease up on him enough that they could rebuild everything that was destroyed once they'd been caught out.

Cooper may even return home, he'll be the big brother to Blaine that both her and he had wanted him to be, he'll make Blaine better once she's gone, at least she hopes he will.

She makes her way down the stairs, and detours to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine and a glass, her parents would throw a fit if they knew she was drinking but she surmises that in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't actually matter, very soon she wasn't going to be around to worry about what they think, and it's not like she hadn't done far worse things in their eyes then a little underage drinking.

She sits at the coffee table in the middle of her lounge room, legs folded underneath her as she pours a large glass of Red Wine and starts counting out the pills she's going to need, arranging them into blocks of color, lined up smallest to largest. She's kind of mesmerized by the different shapes and colors before her like some kind of narcotic rainbow.

She reaches across the table to the iPod she has docked her swan song all cued up and ready to go, she switches it on, picks up the first of her tablets and because she's always had a slight flair for dramatics when it came to living her life and doesn't see why she should treat her death any differently, she waits for the first strain of the lyrics to fill the air before she places it in her mouth and swallows.

'You were once my one companion, you were all that mattered' she washes it down with a sip of red wine, her face scrunching up slightly in distaste at the powdery residue left in its wake resting bitterly on her tongue and then she repeats the process, until her eyes begin to feel heavy and she hasn't any energy left to move her body.

She slumps onto the ground, nothing hurting anymore, everything starting to numb in such a blissful kind of way. Her eyes start to drift closed, and her thoughts center around Blaine, the way he holds her close and whispers in her ear when they lie wrapped up together on her bed, the way his eyes twinkle as he laughs, the way he smiles at her like she's sunshine on a rainy day.

She thinks she's vaguely aware of a shriek sounding somewhere in the distance and heavy footsteps heading toward her, but it doesn't matter much. It will be all over in a moment, all she has to do is keep her eyes closed, think of Blaine and wait.

XXXXXXX

She awakens in a hospital bed with the sinking realization that she had failed in her suicide attempt.

Her throat feels scratchy and dry, her limbs feel powerless and she has the heaviest feeling in her stomach. Her parents are standing over her bed staring down at her like they barely know her and her father has her note clutched in his hand. Things had definitely not gone as planned.

"Rachel, dear how are you feeling?" Her mother asks, reaching down to squeeze her hand but it does little to comfort her. There's only one person she wants to see right now, one person who she wants touching her, and her mother is definitely not that person.

"I'm fine." She mutters instead, trying without much hope to sit up in her hospital bed, the crisp white sheets below her feeling harsh against her skin. She knows now is not one of those times she should be her usual blunt self and tell her mother the truth. She's pretty sure telling her two parents she felt like a failure for not being able to get the simple act of killing herself right is not something that should be uttered.

"They had to pump your stomach." Her mother doesn't try to soften the news, she doesn't sound angry, or emotional, she just utters the words like she were telling Rachel what day of the week it was, or what the weather were like, just a simple statement of fact.

It's the woman's default setting, always has been. She's pretty sure the only time she's even seen the woman who gave birth to her act out in a somewhat emotional way had been the night her parents had found out about her and Blaine's real relationship and even than she'd shut down quickly and moved into clean up mode immediately.

"When can I go home?" She wants to be in her own room, to dig out Blaine's old School sweatshirt from where she keeps it hidden in her bottom draw and fall asleep wearing it, the smell of him surrounding her so that she doesn't feel so unbearably alone. She wants to be in her own house, biding her time until she can get another chance to do what she'd failed at this time.

"You need to stay overnight for observation, it's hospital policy" her mother informs her, her father who has still yet to speak refuses to look her in the eye and it worries her "But once you are released you won't be returning to the house."

She wasn't sure she heard her correctly, how could she not be returning to the house, unless her parents had decided to send her away like they had her brother, send her to some un-named school in the middle of god knows where so they didn't have to deal with all the problems having a suicidal teenager underneath their roof would entail "What do you mean, not returning to the house?" She asks cautiously.

"We found a facility, your mother and I have already made the arrangements," It's the first time her father says a word, his voice is thick and hoarse and his eyes bounce around the room almost like he's too ashamed to even look at her "they're expecting you there tomorrow night."

"A facility, you're sending me to a nuthouse?" she sits up, anger clouding her vision "I'm not crazy!" she should have anticipated this type of over reaction from them, but then again she hadn't expected to be around to see any reaction from them at all.

Her mother clears her throat shooting a warning look at her before she can say anything else "It's not a nuthouse, it's a specialized care facility that deals with teenagers who have unique social problems." Her mother glances over to her father and the letter held in his hand "They'll be able to help you."

It's crystal clear to her now that she's not being sent to this facility because of her suicide attempt, the reason she's being sent is because of what she had written in the letter, her parents still not willing to accept her side of things "Haven't you been paying any attention at all?" her voice grows loud, anger making her hands shake as she fights to stay steady "I don't need help; I just need Blaine, why can't you see that?" she's on the verge of tears, frustration and solemnness warring within her "Why can't you just tell me where he is?"

"Regardless of what you wrote in that letter," her father lifts the hand containing the letter, the paper making a crinkling sound as his grip on it tightens "Regardless of what you believe, what you and your brother were doing isn't normal."

They want to fix her that much is clear, and her agitation reaches a fever pitch as she works herself into a frenzy of tears, she doesn't want to be sent away, she doesn't even want to live, not without Blaine and she's so tired of hearing about how wrong they were, how unnatural and unhealthy, and the fact that her parents won't even try to see things from her point of view, the fact that they just seem to want to lock her away until her feelings somehow miraculously disappear seems more abnormal to her than the love she feels for her older brother ever will.

'You can't do this! You can't make me do this!"

"It's already done Rachel;" Her mother's stern voice is the only thing that stops her from flipping out and throwing a diva fit unlike anything anyone's ever seen "we'll leave you to get some rest now, tomorrows a big day."

Her parents leave, her mother's expression neutral as she marches out the door, her father glances back once, but his expression is unreadable and she can't find it in herself to care what he's thinking or feeling anyway. Not when he's just had a hand in ruining her life for the second time.

Not when it's so clearly obvious that her parents don't give a damn about what she really needs at all.

Chapter Two should be up sometime late next week. Feedback is welcomed and encouraged.