A/N: Yes, the title is based on a meme using Tahno's name as a pun. It's 2 in the morning and I've been kicking this idea around all day and I regret nothing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bolin or Tahno, just this fun little scenario I've created for them. Enjoy.

x

The small glass tipped back, inverted and nearly fully vertical, and its contents emptied into his gaping mouth. Bolin shuddered at the harsh taste of the drink, though the sensation of the bitterness that flooded his mouth had lost most of its original effect as, over time, the drink had dulled the young Earthbender's senses. His tongue felt thick and heavy, like a cinderblock inside his mouth, and Bolin's jaw went slack, drooping down to the countertop. "Himme again, big guy," he demanded, quirking the corner of his mouth upward in some semblance of a smile; it took his full concentration to move those few muscles.

The bartender looked up from the tall glass he was polishing with a grimy rag and raised his bushy unibrow. "That's enough for tonight, I think, kid. Save some for next week." He was used to seeing Bolin drop by after a Pro-Bending match, occasionally in better spirits but lately looking rather dejected. The pub broadcast the games by radio, and the bartender knew enough of the kid to sympathize. The Earthbender was rarely the cause of the kids' slip-ups, and in these instances Bolin was giving an all-new meaning to the term "taking one for the team".

"Juss'… one more."

The bartender gave him a tight-lipped smile and reached forward to snatch away the shot glass. Bolin made a wild grab, nearly slapping the barkeep across the head, before his chin tumbled forward and smacked against the counter. He gurgled out a laugh before sighing and resting his cheek against the cool surface.

They had been so close – so close – to a Fire Ferret victory, only to fudge up and make simple mistakes where it really counted. Mako's fury made the playing field tense… and it definitely wasn't helping that Hasook's head seemed to be elsewhere lately. Half the time, he didn't seem to know whether his position on the team was even going to last them through the rest of the season – although, Bolin mused groggily, with just two weeks until the championship tournament, it wouldn't matter much. The brothers and their Waterbending acquaintance weren't going to make the cut for the championship. They were probably going to end up in the stands once again, watching the Wolf-bats take the title of Pro-Bending champions.

As if on cue, Tahno's smug voice echoed through Bolin's head, a slow, deep, oily drawl that made every girl within a mile radius swarm to his side, and was even enough to raise goose lion bumps on Bolin's arms. Bolin pressed his fingertips to his temples, trying to shake off the imaginary sound of the Waterbender.

"Thanks for coming out, doll. I'll see you around."

Bolin's eyes snapped open. He certainly hadn't come up with that in his own head. He lifted his cheek from the bar and turned his head. Tahno was seated down the bar from him, waving off a curvy, chocolate-skinned girl dressed in Water Tribe garb. She still eyed him flirtatiously as she sauntered away, leading Bolin to believe she was just another one of the smarmy Pro-Bender's fans, attempting to chat him up over a few drinks. Bolin allowed himself to be surprised that Tahno had waved the girl away so soon – in fact, though normally flanked by a large (and usually attractive) posse, the Wolf-bat captain was nursing a drink by himself.

"Staring at me isn't going to make you any more attractive, kid."

Bolin blinked. Tahno was speaking directly to him, his voice just audible above the pub's chatter, his voice smooth. Bolin grunted and grabbed the bar with one hand, pushing against it to prop himself back up in a seated position.

"Nope. Not even close," Tahno continued, smirking to himself.

Bolin's brows knitted together in annoyance. He swiped his chin with his forearm, wiping away a bit of drool – he shouldn't have taken that last shot, he realized belatedly – and swiveled in his barstool to face the egotistical Waterbender.

"You need something, kid?" Tahno asked, smirking at Bolin over his glass.

That was it. Bolin hopped off the barstool, landing shakily; He grabbed the bar to balance himself before plodding on over to Tahno, intent on setting him straight. This action, of course, was fueled completely by liquid confidence, which also attributed to the Earthbender stumbling, tripping over his own two feet, and landing in a crumpled heap before Tahno, who chuckled darkly.

"Normally, it's the ladies who find themselves falling for me. This is definitely a new one."

Bolin looked up at him from the floor, where he lay sprawled out on his stomach, and glowered. "Quit calling me 'kid'. I'm not much younger than you."

Tahno regarded him with heavily lidded eyes, and his smirk deepened. "In numbers, no, but in skill and experience, you have a long way to go. It's a pity, really…" Tahno shrugged and took another drink.

Bolin sighed deeply before grabbing onto the bottom of Tahno's barstool and crawling up the side of it. Tahno gazed down at him, an eyebrow quirked. "Are you really that desperate for action tonight? You have two hands, sometimes that's all you need."

Bolin felt his face flush, and he shook his head. "How d'you do it?" he asked, wincing at how pathetic his voice sounded. He cleared his throat; his voice had finally dropped, but his nerves and drunken state were making him sound feeble and pre-pubescent. "You're so skilled with women and in the arena, and it seems like you don't even try."

"Some of us are just born with it," Tahno replied silkily, offering the Earthbender a self-satisfied shrug. "Waterbending comes as naturally to me as breathing. And so do my looks," he added, and Bolin realized a second too late that Tahno had winked at him. "Ever since I formed the Wolf-bats, people just can't get enough of me. Not that I can blame them."

"I saw that girl who was in here. She was drooling all over you. What's your trick?" Bolin asked, his voice dropping to a stage whisper as he hung onto the bar for support.

Tahno set Bolin with a look that made his stomach drop. "It's all in the eyes," he murmured back, quirking an eyebrow and leaning closer to Bolin's face. "It doesn't matter who… if I want something, I can get it with just a look."

Bolin could feel Tahno's breath on his face, and he felt his cheeks warm. He cleared his throat and redirected his eyes left, right, everywhere but Tahno's dark gaze. He must be having an adverse reaction to that last shot. He really needed to cut back. Or maybe avoid this bar altogether. And the Pro-Bending arena. Anyplace he'd run into Tahno… Tahno… His eyes had unintentionally returned to the Waterbender's face, and his pulse quickened. The way Tahno was surveying him was making his insides squirm in a way that was more pleasant than he cared to understand.

Tahno chuckled to himself and quirked an eyebrow at Bolin. "Kid, how would you like some private lessons?" His voice seemed to drop an octave at 'private lessons', and Bolin felt like he was going to fall off his chair backwards. He spluttered a response and Tahno slid gracefully off his chair and headed further into the pub without so much as a backward glance. Bolin realized with a start that he was supposed to follow, and he jumped away from the bar and stumbled tipsily after Tahno. The small, sober corner of his brain piped up that he was sort of an idiot for going along with one of the nastiest Benders in the entire tournament, but the large part of his brain being influenced by cheap alcohol told him this was a big opportunity, and what did he have to lose, really?

Tahno maneuvered the club like an absolute celebrity. A path parted for the Pro-Bender, who raised his head and tossed back his shoulders. He was giving them all that look, too. Bolin felt himself shrink in his shoes as he followed. Tahno ducked through a door near the back of the pub, and Bolin followed. The minute he was through the doorway, the door slammed, and his back was shoved roughly into the wood.

"Rule one," Tahno said sharply, his voice a purr. "Quit walking like a scared little girl. Nobody's going to notice you if you don't even feel worth noticing." He moved his face so that it was mere centimeters from Bolin's. "Now look me in the eyes, and mean it."

Bolin wasn't sure what force took over, but he lunged at Tahno, seized his shoulders, and crushed their lips together.

Was it the alcohol? Possibly – probably. But there was something about Tahno that was really making Bolin feel flustered and extremely confused. He knew he liked girls. He'd kissed them before, once or twice, and he once found a magazine stashed in Mako's clothes that all but confirmed they were what got his motor running. Even now, it was easy to pretend Tahno's slender frame belonged to a girl. But then, at the same time, he smelled and tasted like a man, and Bolin realized amidst the haze of drinks that he was still really into the kiss. The kiss that was slowly growing less sloppy as Bolin stopped forcing dominance and allowed himself and Tahno to slip into a rhythm.

But then… then, it hit him like a pile of rocks, holy shit, he was macking on the captain of the Wolf-bats, and what the hell had gotten into him? He staggered back from Tahno, his back colliding with the wall, breathing hard.

Tahno's lip was curled into that infuriatingly attractive smirk. "Nice work, princess," he offered approvingly, winking. He reached past Bolin for the door's handle, and before the Earthbender could blink, he was alone.

x

As the words "private lessons" left Tahno's lips, Bolin felt all of his sanity slip. Tahno thought he was so cool, such a badass, dropping the phrase so casually right in front of him, didn't he? Bolin could tell by the Wolf Bat captain's casual ignorance that he knew exactly what he was doing to Bolin, and it was very much intentional. And now he was going to chat up Korra, his date, right in front of him, and make him look like a fool. Bolin wanted to shove his whole face into his bowl of noodles.

Thankfully, Korra bested the egomaniac and for the first time in his life, Bolin saw the Waterbender lose his cool. This was too perfect. Tahno shot Bolin a look before his group parted ways, but Bolin merely turned his attention back to Korra. Tahno wanted to act like nothing was wrong, and that nothing ever happened? Well, two could play at that game.